Page 68 of Crown of the Dunes (The Ballan Desert #2)
Chapter twenty-seven
Keera
T he persistent ache that had lodged itself beneath my breastbone—the pain of loss and the fear of failure—eased for the first time in weeks as I looked out over the courtyard before me.
Ever since the avalanche had buried half of the grain fields and left the others without irrigation, the threat of starvation had rubbed at me with every step, like a sharp stone in my boot that I couldn’t remove.
In the past weeks, it had grown into a boulder I ran into at every turn.
Tonight, that boulder had been cracked in half.
Everywhere I looked, people toasted and feasted.
I watched as Neven, standing near the statue of Kelvar, picked a bite off a plate carried by an attendant.
His brow furrowed as he tried it, then it twisted in curiosity.
It must have been one of the brined fish that had arrived unexpectedly with the grain from Viltov yesterday.
As I wrinkled my nose at the odd smell of them Calix had laughed, explaining that they were standard fare in the island country.
While they were receiving mixed reviews from the guests at the palace, none could deny the comfort of a full belly after weeks of skirting around the edge of satisfaction.
Apparently feeling my gaze on him, Neven looked up and caught my eye.
He began weaving through the crowded courtyard where people milled and danced, cutting a crooked path to where I stood near the steps to the palace.
“You look lovely,” he said as he reached me.
I raised a brow at him. “You are basically complimenting yourself when you say that, you know.”
“Just because I made the clothes, doesn’t mean you don’t wear them well,” he pointed out. “Besides, there is nothing wrong with being confident in one’s abilities. And if anybody should be confident in themselves tonight, it should be you. You’re the reason this happened.”
I sighed heavily, looking up at the statue of Kelvar. He wore a crown of larrea flowers, just like he had during the Kelvadan festival, but something about his stone eyes seemed empty, despite the fact that I had always seen mischief in his smile before.
“I think Prince Calix is the one who made this happen, actually.”
Neven’s lips twisted. “He would not have done so without your choice. You have given up much to make this happen, and you deserve to feel the joy that your sacrifice has given others as well.”
As if on cue, the tether in my gut twisted and growled, dark with anger and frustration. Erix had not made an appearance at the party, which was no surprise, but I could tell he lurked nearby, like a red wolf prowling unseen on a hunt.
“Maybe you can feel my portion of the joy,” I told Neven. “After all, it looks like your wife wants to dance. I know how much you like that.”
He looked out toward the crowd, and instantly a smile split his face as he spotted Aderyn looking over at us.
She stood with a knot of visiting dignitaries from Viltov, who had trickled in steadily over the past week for the upcoming wedding.
There had to be nearly a hundred men from Viltov in Kelvadan by now.
“Indeed, I do. And I would hate to leave her waiting,” Neven said.
My gaze followed him as he left me where I stood.
He approached Aderyn and looped an arm around her waist. She leaned up to murmur something in his ear as he did, and he laughed, throwing back his head and making the golden beads in his hair twinkle in the flickering light of the braziers.
Aderyn looked up at him, and her eyes darkened with a hunger I recognized.
I forced myself to tear my gaze away from their happiness, but I could not fully stop a scowl from twisting my face.
Their easy intimacy had made me wistful when I had been staying under their roof, but I hadn’t quite understood it at that time.
Now, it accentuated the hollowness in the pit of my stomach.
“For a queen at her own engagement party, you look rather unapproachable.”
I started, not having noticed anybody nearby. My scowl only deepened as my gaze landed on General Warrick, who seemed equally unhappy to be speaking with me.
“Yet here you are, approaching me,” I pointed out. I knew I should be more polite to an ambassador, but I couldn’t find it within myself.
“It’s good practice for an ambassador to wish his hostess well,” he said, offering a goblet to me, one of which he held in each hand.
Knowing I had already been rude, I took it from him.
“However,” he continued, “given the situation, I feel the need to be honest with you.”
“That would be a first.”
He ignored my barb, pushing on. “Doran will consider your marriage to Prince Calix as an act of hostility, as it allies you with our sworn enemy. We will no longer be willing to negotiate a treaty with Kelvadan if the Prince of Viltov becomes the king.”
I considered him. “If we’re being honest, then let me give you my genuine thoughts on that. Doran choosing to send a general to negotiate seemed like an act of hostility as well. And I never got the impression that a treaty between Kelvadan and Doran was actually on the table.”
To my surprise, General Warrick smiled, the first time I had seen such an expression on his scarred face.
“It seems I prefer it when we are honest with each other. I had heard the Ballan Desert was a place that valued strength over political posturing, but I’ve learned in my time here that only some in the desert do.
Perhaps the relationship between our countries would have been different if I had been negotiating with one of them. ”
My hand tightened on the goblet in my hand so hard the liquid within sloshed.
Warrick raised his own cup to mine. “Here’s to finally being truthful on where we stand with one another.”
“I’ll drink to that,” I conceded. I tapped the rim of my glass to his and took a deep sip. The laka within was strong—more fragrant and nuttier than I had drank before. It seemed the palace staff had broken out the good barrels for the special occasion.
With that, General Warrick retreated into the crowd.
“I thought he would never leave,” chimed a voice at my elbow.
I glanced over to find that Prince Calix had materialized next to me. “Where had you disappeared to? I’ve barely seen you tonight.”
His face twisted in displeasure. “Everybody that has arrived from Viltov for the wedding is intent on cornering me for one reason or another. None of them paid much attention to me before, but now that I am going to be a King after all, it seems that they’ve all developed a newfound appreciation for my friendship. ”
“Finding yourself in a position of leadership you never expected comes with many challenges,” I admitted, taking another long draught of laka . It tasted better than I remembered the drink being in the past.
Calix sighed beside me. Very slowly, he reached out to lay a hand on my elbow, as if he were afraid I might pull away. I looked up into his gaze, his eyes seeming to dance in the shimmering light of the courtyard.
“I know you never considered a political marriage for yourself,” he said, just loud enough to be heard over the chattering of the guests, “but I hope I might find a way to make you happy.”
My breath caught in a combination of surprise and guilt, but I managed a genuine smile.
“You already have,” I admitted, looking out over the people of Kelvadan, my heart warming at the way the smiles chased away the hollowness of their faces.
Their happiness wasn’t quite enough to drown out the ache in my own heart, but I could feel the joy, nonetheless .
“I know things have been… complicated for you since you became queen.” Calix shot me a knowing look. I almost shrank back, but he quickly continued on, as if to placate my fears. “But things don’t have to be complicated between us. Maybe… we can just let it be easy.”
I stared at him. Easy was a concept that seemed ephemeral and laughable in the Ballan Desert, but something about his promise was enticing.
The desert was difficult, restoring the Heart was difficult—Erix was difficult.
None of the things I desired had ever been easy, but something about the way Calix suggested it was enticing.
After so much struggle, perhaps I could let just one thing be easy.
“That might make me happy,” I admitted.
“Happy enough to dance with me?” he asked.
I laughed. “Of course.”
He took my hand and led me out into the courtyard, toward the side where the musicians were seated, and people swayed rhythmically to the beat of drums. I began to move with them, the music loud enough to vibrate my bones and fill my ribcage.
Prince Calix held my hands and twirled me around.
The lights of the fire blurred as I did, giving the night a dreamlike quality.
I began to dance more freely, throwing my hair back, glad that Neven had convinced me to let it flow loose over my shoulders tonight. Prince Calix smiled at me, and a strange warmth blossomed over my skin—like I had been in the sun too long, despite the fact that the stars now dotted a velvety sky.
He moved to spin me again, and I nearly tripped over my own feet. For some reason, my clumsiness made me laugh. My head was so light, I feared it might fly off my shoulders. Calix laughed too, an arm coming around my waist to steady me.
His fingers landed on the inches of bare skin between the cropped beaded top I wore, and the waist of the flowing skirt at my hips. Instantly, my attention zeroed in on the way the pads of his fingers pressed into my flesh, pleasantly hot, although I already felt warm.