Page 97 of Crossed

Or maybe he doesn’t like me questioning his whereabouts.

That intuitive feeling rears its head again, but I don’t push him for more. Instead, I nod and agree, already standing up and heading back to the living room to grab my coat and gloves, because I don’t trust myself either.

“You know.” I look at him from my peripheral vision as we walk down the path back to the cathedral. “You kind of suck at these one- on- one sessions.”

He chuckles, his breath blowing into the icy sky like a cloud. “The sessions are only because my superior demands it. Becauseyourfiancé has deep pockets and uses them to sway the church.”

I bite my lip. “Doesn’t that bother you?”

“Oui.” He shrugs. “But politics and bribery are the way of man.”

I stop walking, glancing over at him, needing him to know.

“Cade,” I murmur, my hand reaching out to grasp his forearm.

He stops, looking down at me.

“I’m moving in with him tomorrow.”

Chapter38

Cade

DESPERATION SWIMS THROUGH ME BEFORE nightfall even hits. It’s existed this entire time, since the moment I laid eyes on Amaya, but it has been simmering just beneath the surface. Her words when she left me this morning lit the fuse and sent it exploding through my veins, blackening my blood with ash and soot.

Ihaveto see her one more time.

And then I’ll put in my request to leave Festivalé.

The back alley behind her apartment is so familiar to me now, I could maneuver around it with my eyes closed. My chest aches when I get to the bushes, knowing this is my last visit here. These moments, as wrong as they may be, have become something special. Something important. And soon they’ll fade into nothing more than a memory.

Yes. It’s best if I leave.

I can’t stand the thought of sticking around and watching her with Parker.

Longing for her touch.

Wishing she would choose me even though I’ve never given her the choice.

Non. Impossible.

I peer into her window, my breath stuttering when I see her. She is a vision, sitting in her empty room, nothing but a mattress on the floor.

My knuckles tap against the glass, and she meets my gaze immediately.

Like she was watching and waiting.

Like she knew I would come.

We stare at each other for long, torturous moments, and she walks over slowly, the same way she always does, my heart slamming against my chest even though it’s achy and bruised.

Nothing good can come from this, but I’m so far beyond the point of holding myself back.

And if this is our last moment together, I’m going down in flames.

He is merciful.

She reaches the window, and her hands slip beneath the frame, gripping the edge and slowly lifting until there’s an opening large enough for me to climb through.