Page 76 of Crossed

My chest pulls and twists, my heart feeling as though it’s splitting right down the middle, and it throbs so intensely my hand reaches up to rub at the ache.

I don’t like hurting her.

My brows furrow as I come to terms with this new sensation. With this…power she has over me, stronger than what I had even known she possessed.

Running a hand through my hair, I blow out a breath, my eyes flicking between hers, searching for…something.

I reach out and grip the nape of her neck, pulling her even closer against me, her head tilting up and her mouth opening on a gasp. Fire burns from where we touch, my insides being incinerated by whatever this is between us.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

Her gaze widens, and I rest my forehead against hers, my jaw clenching as I try— and fail— to keep my emotions in check.

“Do you hear me, Amaya Paquette? I amsorryfor what I said. For hurting you.”

“Did you mean it?” she whispers, her eyes pinching shut.

“In the moment? I lashed out to cause you pain, to keep you away. To try and make sense of whatever this is that you make me feel.” I swallow heavily, my mouth going dry. “Becausethis? This is impossible.Weare impossible.”

Her cheeks flush, and she looks down, breaking away from my hold and pulling at the hem of her skirt.

I want to grab her again, to feel her under my hands, to tell her that watching her with Parker makes mesick, but instead, I find resolution within myself.

I’ve hurt her enough. The buck stops here. I cannot kill her, I’m more sure of that now than ever, but I can ease our suffering.I could leave Festivalé.

“If you’d like to bring normal clothes to change into once you’re here, I won’t tell,” I say, walking away until there’s ample space between us.

Her head snaps up, surprise clear on her face. “Thank you. I’d like that.”

I grit my teeth and nod.

“So what do we do now?” she asks, looking around.

“Well, I’m supposed to beteachingyou, petite pécheresse. But I find that doesn’t interest me much. I’d rather learn about you instead. Tell me about your mother.”

Chapter29

Amaya

CADE FRÉDÉRIC GIVES ME WHIPLASH. ONE second, he’s dominant and dangerous, masking his dark and tortured soul with his devotion to the church, and the next, he’s lighthearted and almost…normal.

Like Jekyll and Hyde, flipping personalities with the switch of a light.

He’s nice to Quinten, then mean to me.

He finger fucks me in his house, then calls me a whore and treats me like dirt on his shoe.

And even though his “I’m sorry” doesn’t make up for the way he made me feel, it’s more than I expected him to give. And I know it’s genuine.

But his question about my mother feels too close. Too personal. And after everything we’ve been going through, after him just saying we’re impossible, which Iknowwe are, I can’t go there with him. So I lash out instead. “How many other unsuspecting women do you pretend to be a man of God with and then take advantage of?”

As soon as I say the words, the air shifts and changes, and I close my eyes, rubbing my lips together and wishing with everything in me that I could suck the words back in. I forget just how dangerous he can feel, how it’s a tangible thing in the air, so heavy I can reach out and touch it.

Cade straightens like a board, his body stiff like a jack- in- the- box waiting to pop.

Nerves dance through my stomach. “I didn’t mean— ”

He moves so quickly, wind whips through my hair, and I’m forced back until I’m practically flat against the couch, my neck bent over the arm. Wisps of his energy tangle with mine, lashing across my skin like waves crashing along the shore.