Page 44 of Crossed

Chapter16

Amaya

IDON’T KNOW WHY I’M HERE AGAIN.

Last night, coming to Father Cade’s home was easy to reason away, because I couldn’t get my mind off what Principal Lee told me, about how it was Cade who ensured Quinten would be included. I thought about it for the rest of the night and all the next day. It was on my mind during every single performance at work until my brain felt so frazzled I knew Ihadto see him. I needed to thank him properly, let him know how grateful I am that he’s here. So I left the Chapel, and instead of taking the bus all the way home, I got off two stops early until I was standing at the base of the stone steps to Notre- Dame, indecision weighing me down. It was the stony eyes of the gargoyles lining the entrance that spooked me away until I walked around the perimeter and decided to try the first of two small cottages at the back.

Honestly, I hadn’t expected him to answer. It was three in the morning, and any normal person would be sleeping.Any normal person wouldn’t be knocking on someone’s door.

Tonight, I don’t have an excuse.

But here he is again, answering the door in gray sweats and a black T-shirt, looking nothing like a priest and everything like a statue made by the gods.

My heart races at the sight of him leaning against the doorjamb with his hands in his pockets, and I curse myself for being weak enough to come here. He makes mefeel, and I know better than to allow myself close to anything that threatens my control.

But it’s nice to have someone who doesn’t sneer at me when I walk past or think I’m the reason bad things happen.

“Salut, petite pécheresse. Back again so soon?”

My stomach flutters at the nickname. I almost looked it up, curiosity getting the best of me, but stopped myself. Not knowing is better, because what if it’s something sweet? Or worse, something that’s not.

His eyes scan the open space behind me before coming back to rest on me, and I wonder if he’s worried that someone might see us. I also wonder if he’s even allowed to have me back here or if it’s a rule I’m forcing him to break. Guilt starts to rear its head.

He gestures for me to move inside again, the same as he did before, and I shake the thought away.

I’m living in the moment. I can worry about everything again tomorrow.

We walk through the doorway, and I take in the small space. Last night, I was too shaken, so nervous from being here that while I saw everything, I didn’t get to soak it in.

Tonight, I take my time lapping up every detail. There’s a log fireplace crackling in the right-hand corner of the living room surrounded by bookshelves and a cozy oversize recliner next to it with an open book turned down on the end table. A large couch with worn plaid fabric takes up the majority of the space, and a small oval coffee table sits in the center, a vase of white flowers perched right in the middle. There’s a television fixed to the wall, but it’s turned off, reflecting the glow from the fire.

To the left is the kitchen, a small mobile island in the center, painted forest green with an oak cutting board for its top. A tea kettle sits on the gas stove, and a dark green hand towel is draped over the faucet in the sink.

It’s so…different from what I expected. So normal. I guess it’s never occurred to me to think about how priests live. That they have a life outside their job.

And that’s what it is at the end of the day, isn’t it? It’s a job just like any other.

“Cup of tea?” Cade asks, already moving through the small living room and into the kitchen.

I clear my throat. “Sure.”

Maybe I should be following him, but I stay in the living room instead, moving to the bookshelves that surround the fireplace, tilting my head to read the titles.

Frankenstein.

Middlegame.

The Art of Alchemy.

Suddenly, a tingle trickles down my spine, Cade’s breath on my neck.

“See something interesting?”

His voice is low and raspy, and it makes the hair on the tops of my arms stand to attention. “Alchemy is an interesting subject for a priest.”

He nods, jaw ticking. “I like to be aware of all practices. Helps my faith be well- rounded and secure.”

I turn around, allowing a small smile to grace my features as I take the cup of tea from his hand. “I didn’t expect your place to look like this, I guess.”