Page 38 of Creatures Like Us

“Close your eyes,” I whisper.

His lashes flutter closed, and I brush my thumb over his Adam’s apple, letting the grip get bolder, harder, laying the full weight of my hand over his throat. Not hard enough to restrict air or anything. Just touching him. Just holding him.

“You’re sensitive here,” I mumble, brushing my fingers behind his ear again. “Did you know that?”

“No,” he says, the word barely more than a breath.

“And your neck?…” I slide my fingers into his hair, twining his long black strands in my hand, gripping tighter now, more demanding.

“Asher?…”

The hint of hesitation in his voice only spurs me on. I inch closer, arching my body against his, longing for more of his skin on mine. His pulse thunders under my thumb, and I pull him in, closer, closer, until our lips are inches apart, but then?…?Something changes.

His body goes stiff like a board, unresponsive, as if he doesn’t want this. As if he doesn’t want?…?more than this. Whatever twisted thing I’ve started.

Panting, I pull away from him, my cock painfully hard, adrenaline surging in my veins. We roll to our backs, and the room fills with our labored breaths.

I glance at him. “You said you weren’t a virgin. But you are, aren’t you?”

He sucks his lower lip into his mouth, looking stupidly adorable. “I never said I wasn’t.”

My eyes widen. “Wait a minute. Last night?…?Was that your first kiss?”

He glances away, not giving a reply. His silence is answer enough.

“Fuck, I can’t believe this.” Overcome by a weird sense of relief, I start laughing. This explains it—why he’s so uncomfortable with any sort of innuendos or intimate touching. It explains why he refuses to accept my proposal of sleeping with me in exchange for letting me go. “Fuuck.” I laugh so hard that tears form in the corners of my eyes.

“What?” Noah mutters, the same stiffness in his voice as in his body.

“How old are you, again?”

“Twenty-one.”

“And you’ve never?…”

“No.”

“Haven’t you ever wanted to?”

He shrugs. “Sometimes, but?…?people don’t tend to look at me in that way. A guy at the gas station I worked at asked me out once, but I wasn’t sure what he meant, so I declined.”

“You weren’t sure what he meant?” I smirk and roll to the side again, swiping at the strand of hair that seems intent on falling into Noah’s face. “Seems like there are a lot of things you’re not sure about. Things you haven’t experienced yet.”

“I know.” He’s quiet for a moment before he asks, “What does it feel like?”

“What? Sex? Well, it feels nice, I suppose. There’s a reason most people are so obsessed with it. But for me, I don’t know?…?It’s never really been about the sensation itself. It’s more about connecting with the other person, or more like?…?the validation. That sort of thing.”

Noah nods slowly.

“Have you ever thought about what you’d want it to be like?” I ask. “Your first time?”

Noah shrugs, trailing his hands over the sheets in thought. “I’d want it to be?…?intimate. A connection, like you said.”

I grimace. “You want it to be special. Well, sorry to tell you, but you’ll be disappointed. We tend to build it up to be this huge, life-changing thing, but it rarely is. This isn’t justmyopinion, by the way—you can ask anyone.”

“What was your first time like, then?”

“With a girl in high school I was dating at the time. She’d done it once before with another guy, so she was more experienced than I was. She invited me home with her one day. We smoked weed through her window, and when I turned around, she was on the bed, taking her top off. I remember I was overthinking it a lot. I could barely get hard.” I laugh in embarrassment, but Noah just looks intrigued, not mocking.