Page 26 of Covert Affections (Shadow Agents/PSI-Ops #5)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Jesse

Jesse's claws clicked against the wooden boards of Lindy's front porch as he fought the urge to pace in shifted form. To do something, anything to release the pent-up energy he had inside of himself. He hadn’t planned to get this close to her. Hadn’t planned to do anything more than make sure the hybrids weren’t near her home.

Who was he kidding? He’d not really planned any part of his night.

He had no business being here. She wasn’t his concern. Charley was.

He should be back in his trailer, coming up with a way to foil the hybrids’ plan to harm Charley, not here, and sure in the hell not on the porch, staring directly into the face of the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in his life. He couldn’t just walk away.

Not now.

He hadn’t intended to find her so attractive that he’d masturbated while watching her through her webcam, unbeknownst to her. He hadn’t planned on panicking when he saw that she’d been scared of something. And he sure in the hell had not planned to rush to her home like some kind of savior.

He wasn’t good-guy material. He was the type of guy her book’s trigger list warned of. The kind a woman didn’t take home to meet their parents. Hell, if they were smart, the type of man they didn’t take home at all.

Yet here he was, outside of Lindy’s home, guarding her as if he had stake in the matter.

Fuck.

He really needed to have his head examined.

Had finally getting a hard on turned his brain into Swiss cheese?

He knew better than to deviate from the already fucked up plan he had of protecting Charley when he should be sticking to the mission.

He’d paid the price for stupidity in the past. He still had the lingering aftereffects of his months of torture to prove as much.

Yet here he was, acting like a fucking dumbass.

Lindy wasn’t part of his mission, and she wasn’t Charley, who felt like family to him. No. Lindy was a stranger.

None of it made any sense to him. Especially why it was that he was still here when there was no threat to her or why he and his beast had no intention of leaving anytime soon.

No.

They were going to keep watch over her and her property.

Fuck sleep. He’d catch up on it when he was dead.

Right now, Lindy needed to be guarded. He just wasn’t sure why, yet every ounce of his being said he was right.

That she was at risk and that if something happened to her because he walked away, he’d never forgive himself.

The fur on the back of his neck rose at the idea of harm befalling Lindy.

No. If something happened to her, it wouldn’t just be a matter of guilt staying with him for the rest of his days.

While he couldn’t put a label to the feelings stirring in him, he knew they weren’t normal.

That if anyone asked him to name it right this second, he’d have said, he’d burn the world down for her.

Yeah. I need my fucking head checked for sure.

Jesse was still a little shocked she’d not screamed at the sight of him on her porch.

He could sense her fear at first and then her curiosity.

He’d been so swept up in how stunning she was that he’d not thought about the visual he presented that close, in shifted form.

At first, she’d been scared, her fear thick enough to smell through the glass pane of the window.

Then, the crazy woman told him he was beautiful and named him Fluffy.

His cat was still inwardly preening over the compliment and the name.

Jesse was offended she’d not gone with Murder Kitty, but his cat didn’t seem to mind in the least. To hell with the fact she’d basically neutered it and likened it to a housecat.

His shifter side didn’t care. It liked knowing she found it beautiful and really wanted her to pet him—all over.

Fucking degenerate.

His cat side huffed inwardly, in a mocking manner as if to say, “It takes one to know one.”

The more Jesse thought about what it might be like for Lindy to run her hands over him, shifted or not, the more merit the idea had. His cock stirred, totally on board with the plan.

No!

He did not want to deal with an erection in cat form. Jacking off wasn’t an option, at least not in the traditional sense of the word. He’d be stuck licking himself. No thanks.

Fuck. Think of anything other than the raven-haired goddess who is on the other side of the window , fast asleep , he thought, trying to will his erection away.

It didn’t work.

Jesse began to hope the hybrids would show, and he’d be forced to take them all on by himself.

At least then, he wouldn’t be stuck lying on a porch made from rotted wood that was sagging in the middle, positive he’d be picking wood out of places he didn’t even know he had, all while sporting an erection.

He shouldn't be here. He had no claim on this woman, no reason to stand guard over her property. The hybrids were focused on Charley, not Lindy. Yet here he was, his massive feline form curled up on her front porch like some oversized house cat.

Shit. I’m turning into Fluffy. Think of something other than her, he growled at himself, disgusted with his lack of self-control. He was stronger than this. He’d been tested and put through the paces more than once in his life, so why was this about to be his undoing?

You know, his cat side returned in an almost giddy manner.

Fuck you. I do not know.

It huffed.

He grunted.

When it became clear he and his shifter side had reached a stalemate and that Lindy was sound asleep, Jesse stood, stretched, and headed back to the garage.

He ran around the side to the door that hadn’t been locked, entered the garage, and shifted forms back into a human.

He dressed so fast that he put his T-shirt on inside out to start and had to fix it.

He leaned against the doorframe and put on his socks and boots.

When he was done, he stepped out into the night, fully intending to get in his truck and leave.

He found himself walking back toward Lindy’s house rather than his truck. Each step he took a reminder of the weakness he was showing. So what if the woman managed to bring his dick back to life. She wasn’t the priority or the mission.

Don’t question the process.

Obey orders.

Keep your head down.

He nearly staggered as the phrases came rushing through his mind. He paused and then turned, ready to admit he had no business here. As he took one step back toward his truck, the words slammed through his head again, as if trying to tell him to stop overthinking it—to follow his gut.

And his gut said stay near Lindy.

Giving in, he pivoted once again and he stepped onto the porch, and the old wood creaked under his weight.

His gaze snapped to the window and to Lindy, who was still asleep in the chair.

Stepping back from the window, Jesse took stock of the front of her home and just how bad of shape it was in.

The front door looked as if a strong wind could knock it down.

The roof was sagging on one side. The entire property screamed vulnerable target and had his tactical mind working overtime.

He began making a mental checklist of items he needed to pick up at the hardware store to lessen Lindy’s vulnerability.

When Jesse realized what he was doing—making a honey-do list of things for a woman he didn’t know—he ran his hands through his hair, trying to figure out what was wrong with him.

He needed to get his head examined. Maybe that serum The Corporation had tested on him all those years ago was having residual effects on him.

Maybe it was making him think with his dick, not his head.

His gaze returned to Lindy, asleep in what had to be the most uncomfortable position he'd ever seen. Her neck was bent at an awkward angle that would leave her sore come morning. That bothered him, knowing she’d be uncomfortable and in pain.

I really have to stop giving a shit about other people, he thought with a shake of his head.

Through the glass, he could see the rest of her living room. Everything was clean but worn beyond repair. The mustard yellow sofa had seen better days, and one end table was propped up with books because it was missing a wooden leg.

None of this was acceptable. She deserved more—better.

I could give her that , he thought briefly before shoving the foolish notion aside. He wasn’t the kind of man who settled down and started a life with a woman. Even if he did have that burning desire at some point, which he didn’t, his employer would never hear of it.

She’s not for you , he thought, hoping the words would stick. That he’d come to his senses and get back to the task at hand which was figuring out a way to stop the hybrids before they could harm Charley.

She stirred in the chair, her brows pinching together slightly before her breathing increased.

He thought she’d wake then and there.

She didn’t.

Instead, she cried out in her sleep, and the smell of her fear hit him hard despite a pane of glass being between them.

Throwing caution to the wind, he touched the windowpane and gave it the smallest push upward.

The window opened with ease, and he nearly had a heart attack then and there.

Did the woman have a death wish? Did she not understand the dangers in the world?

That unsavory people could gain entrance to her home with ease?

Yeah, people like you, dumbass.

Jesse cringed, realizing he was exactly the type of person he wanted to keep out of her home in the future.

“Walk away,” he said through clenched teeth, trying to get his body to obey. Instead of listening, he lifted her window more, knowing she was close enough to reach out and touch.

He resisted, but it was hard.