Page 27

After Maeve’s mum had left last night, Maeve had stayed rigid and still on her kitchen chair staring into space, her mother’s words echoing in her mind and feeling their heaviness sinking deep in her stomach.

Then she got to work, determined to prove herself. She’d made herself a coffee from her machine even though she knew it was a bad idea to have caffeine at that late hour.

Kira must have been plotting with Coach behind Maeve’s back, she decided. She must have said or done something to prompt getting the captaincy yesterday before the game and Maeve needed to emulate that killer instinct to win it back.

She had sat at her small, dusty desk, the office chair squeaking from under-use with her double espresso and opened up a blank spreadsheet on her laptop.

She needed some way to feel aware of and in control of how she is being ranked next to Kira.

She knew Coach Hoffman was always recording their stats, so maybe Maeve should be doing the same.

If she monitored her performance against Kira’s, she could see where she needs to improve to get that captaincy.

She had inputted any data she could remember from hers and Kira’s training, all the goals scored by Kira or saved by Maeve, times one of them was faster or slower in drills, and times they have acted as captain.

She could remember it all fluently, like she’d been revising for this exam without realising it.

It didn’t help that each time she added a column for the day of the training, she’d had vivid flashbacks to what she and Kira had done during their one-on-ones.

She remembered Kira’s hands, her legs, her neck, her sweat, her mouth, her tongue.

She could have had a much better evening writing a chart of all the ways they had touched each other, the unexpected and terrifying moments of closeness she had felt, in those brief, hot hookups.

Maeve had felt herself getting distracted and annoyingly turned on, then rallied herself back to her task.

She didn’t need to have any fancy formulas to see that, as far as the stats are concerned, Kira was in the lead.

Way in the lead. If only she’d had more of a chance to prove herself in their first fixture, though she knew she should have been pleased that her opponents barely made it past the midfield and never really threatened goal.

Flashes of Kira celebrating on the pitch, and Kira kneeling before her, and Kira shaking hands with the other team’s captain, and Kira taking Maeve’s own hand in hers, Maeve’s fingers in Kira’s mouth raced through her mind.

Maeve had put her head in her hands. It felt like there wasn’t a way out.

Kira was going to win, and Maeve was going to fail, and everything Maeve had worked so hard for for her whole career was going to fail.

If she wasn’t the best in the team, then she wouldn’t be captain, let alone having a chance of getting promoted with the Tigresses, or a WSL club coming in for her.

What if she has already peaked? What would her mum say then?

Then the speech that Jacob Astor had made floated back into Maeve’s mind.

Being a captain wasn’t just about performance on the pitch.

He’d said that he trusted Coach, so it was going to be more about who she recommended than anything else – that was going to be hard to undo when Kira was so obviously Hoffman’s favourite, built up from years of Kira being her protegee and working with her at their previous club.

But Jacob had also said the captain would have additional responsibilities.

Well, she was proving she was more than willing to do anything, if only Coach seemed to care about her being more on time for training than Kira.

And lastly, the team would have to vote on their agreement.

Maeve typed out three possible modes of attack:

1. Outplay Kira – unlikely

2. Convince Coach that Maeve is a better captain than Kira – unlikely

3. Convince the rest of the team that she is best for captain – …?

Maeve had stared at the last one for a while.

She thought she was liked and respected as Captain by the rest of her teammates, but it’s not as if anyone had exactly given her a feedback form.

She also worried that her approach of being a solid, safe pair of hands wasn’t exactly the most rallying cry for support.

She’d always worried she was most connected to the rest of the team through her friendship with Adriana – the friendship which Maeve knew had been disorientingly wobbly recently.

Maeve blamed herself, that hiding her confusing relationship with Kira from Adriana was causing them to drift apart.

But it wasn’t that Maeve thinks the rest of the team dislike her without being Adriana’s best friend.

Maeve doesn’t tend to rub people up the wrong way – unlike cocky, insensitive, stranger Kira.

It had been about 2 a.m. when Maeve had looked at the blinking cursor, and had a brain wave.

4. Convince the rest of the team that Kira is not suitable for captain – possible.

But when she arrives at training, Maeve’s master plan doesn’t get off to a good start.

She hears Adriana laughing at some joke Kira said under her breath, and fumes. Not content with taking her captaincy, was Kira trying to steal away Maeve’s best friend too?

‘Hey,’ Kira claps too hard on Maeve’s shoulder. ‘Didn’t hear from you all weekend. We haven’t organised our next one-on-one session, Murphy. What happened to you being a teacher’s pet?’

Maeve winces. She makes sure only Kira will hear.

‘It’s not like we’d have been training anyway,’ she mutters. But Kira doesn’t even fumble.

‘So, you decided to give up?’ Kira asks carelessly. ‘Thanks for making my job even easier.’

Maeve snaps. She whirls around.

‘Do you have to be such a dickhead?’

Kira blinks in surprise.

‘Woah. I thought I was meant to be the fiery one.’ She laughs.

Maeve grits her teeth. She’s meant to be making Kira seem unlikeable to the team, not being awful herself. But when Maeve herself is always so terrified of not being good enough, Kira’s relentless self-assurance rubs her up the wrong way.

‘You know, I do know of a few good ways to relieve stress,’ Kira stretches her lithe arms over her head, the muscles of her arms flexing.

Maeve catches her golden eyes, and for a moment, all she wants is to say yes.

To hook up in their secret shower room. To be able to flirt lightly back, casual, unaffected.

If only she could be like that. But Maeve must remember what’s more important in life.

She can’t let a confusing crush sabotage her entire career.

Instead, Maeve shakes her head, and spends the rest of the recovery session trying to avoid her.

Coach Fernandez used to give them two days off after a match, but Coach Hoffman says they need to keep up the momentum, and brings them in on the Monday for a ‘light’ session which turns out to be a lot of particularly mind-numbing drills.

The team mutter about it to themselves in the breaks, but Maeve tries to push herself, mentally keeping her tally on her pace compared to Kira’s.

It doesn’t help with Maeve’s performance though. Maybe she’s just too tired, or maybe her obsession with monitoring Kira is making her fall more behind. Other names are called out for praise from Coach, including Zuri and Elisa. But praised most of all, is Adriana.

Adriana is glowing on the pitch, her face only falling when it accidentally meets Maeve. Noticing this makes Maeve’s chest ache. But she’ll fix everything with Adriana once she’s got the captaincy. One thing at a time.

It all seemed to make sense to Maeve when she was making that spreadsheet to try to make the team hate Kira, but in reality, she doesn’t know how to make this happen.

Fortunately, fate intervenes. At break, Maeve overhears Milo complaining about how their calves ache from the drills they’ve been doing today.

‘We should have had more recovery time after the match,’ they grumble. ‘I hate these kind of exercises anyway.’

‘Yeah,’ Maeve agrees. ‘Apparently they’re to help Kira.’

‘Why do we all have to do stuff just for Kira?’ says Milo.

‘She’s such a teacher’s pet,’ says Maeve, feeling guilty even as the words are coming out of her mouth.

Milo makes sounds of agreement, and Maeve feels like she’s maybe succeeded. But then Nat glances over.

‘You’ve been having extra training with Coach too though, right? You’re kinda teacher’s pet number two.’

Maeve can’t tell if Nat is saying this jokily or sassily, but it doesn’t feel great.

‘Y-yeah well, it’s not with Coach, it’s just with Kira. So it means I only see more of her . Unfortunately! I’ve–I’ve really tried to like her, but she’s just so – difficult! And irresponsible! And selfish!’

But at that moment, Adriana frolics in, tying her bouncing hair up, side-by-side, with Kira.

They’re laughing together, and Maeve feels like she’s been slapped.

She feels so jealous she has to look away.

But she can still hear them, talking with Charlie and Elisa.

Their conversation is loud and bubbly, even from Kira, almost as if she wants nearby Maeve to overhear.

‘Guys! What do you think?’ Adriana’s asking. ‘I think Kira should wear this one to Joust.’

‘But I think this one–’

Charlie and Elisa gush over the pictures Kira shows them on her phone.

‘Definitely the white! It’s more eye-catching!’

‘Definitely the black! It’s sexier!’

Kira catches Maeve looking. She asks in her low voice, ‘What do you think, Murphy?’

Unabashed, Kira turns her phone screen to Maeve, showing two mirror selfies of Kira in what appear to be identical slashed vests, hugging her torso and revealing flashes of bare skin in sharp angular lines.

She looks androgynous, stylish, and incredibly hot.

They’re paired with different fashionable jeans, boots, and layers of chain necklaces.

Maeve’s face heats. She hates that Kira can be so casual in her tests of her like this, and it’s always Maeve who comes out worse.

Maeve shrugs. ‘Aren’t they literally the same top?’

‘No!’ say Adriana, Charlie, Elisa, and Kira in playful joint unison, and then laugh together. Maeve’s mouth feels bitter as she tries to swallow down her jealousy.

‘Have you managed to get Maeve to come out?’ Elisa, playfully nudges Maeve’s arm. ‘Well done Kira! Normally Adriana can only persuade her about once a year, after the end of the season.’

It stings. They make her sound like such a grump.

Adriana usually talks with Maeve through all her possibilities of making a big event invitation even just to post on the Tigresses’ group chat, wondering aloud about which emojis to use in the event description.

Elisa is right that Maeve normally bows out well before the nights out, but she is always there at Adriana’s pre-drinks, volunteering to stay behind to tidy up Adriana’s flat while they’re all out, and letting herself out with the key they each have to each other’s flats.

It’s proof that she hasn’t been imagining the cracks that have started to form in their friendship.

Maeve feels herself the centre of attention suddenly, all these expectant eyes.

Adriana’s bright blues, while she bites her lip.

And then there’s Kira’s gold eyes, studying her reaction like it’s a test, goading her as usual.

Milo and Nat are also looking at Maeve curiously now, presumably remembering Maeve’s insults about Kira just a few minutes earlier.

Maeve feels ashamed and embarrassed, a school bully caught out by the teacher.

Especially when, if she’s honest, there’s a part of her that longs for the thought of a sweaty dancefloor with Kira.

To pretend they’re just two strangers, pressing their bodies together in the dark.

Maybe if things were different, they’d even be able to kiss in public.

But no, Maeve isn’t going to have that kind of relationship with Kira – and maybe it’s not just because they’re fighting for the same thing.

Maybe Kira wouldn’t want anyone to know they were hooking up anyway because so far she’s been very deliberate in cornering her when they’ve been alone.

It’s just like her first kiss, that was with a girl called Annabelle from the Academy, who had then asked Maeve not to tell anyone.

Women are always ashamed if they fancy her.

Part of Maeve just wants to run away and hide. But if she’s going to try to fight for this, she needs to throw herself into the fight.

‘Yeah,’ she shrugs, trying to sound casual and cool, and probably failing. ‘Course. I’ll be there.’ Another challenge accepted.