Page 26 of Corrupted By the Shadow King (Hope Runs Deep #3)

Alex

“ C abron, I don’t have time for this today or ever.

I don’t owe you an explanation, but for the sake of both of us leaving here today with our lives, I’ll repeat myself.

Your tio was blinded by greed and crossed the line.

” His hand is behind his jacket, and he’s itching to draw his weapon on me.

I won’t let things end with Nikki like this. She has to know how I feel about her.

Mateo is a hothead, and his aim has precision, but he’s no match for me. If he presses the issue, I’ll happily end his life. Whether he lives or dies depends on him.

My hand lingers in the air above my weapon. I don’t want today to continue the bloodbath that started in Mexico, especially where Nikki works. But if it’s war he wants, then that’s what I’ll give him.

“ El Fuego will be avenged, and we will never share anything with the cowardice Luna again. El Lobo , the Sol will kill you. We have morals and live with honor, unlike your sorry ass,” Mateo declares the war out loud that is inevitable, pulling his empty hand out of his jacket.

His head jerks backward, and then he spits on the ground. “ Pendejo loco lobo. ”

In any other situation, he would’ve never gotten as far as to spit in my direction, much less close to my feet. I’ve killed for less. But I have to think of Nikki. There will be no coming back from this if I take Mateo out right now.

If you allow one vato to disrespect you, they will all think that they can do it.

Mi abuelito drove the importance of respect into Angel and me from our birth and continued to do so until he died.

He would say, “If they don’t give you respect, teach them why they should.

Demand their respect, we are El Luna Cartel. Disrespect is a fatal sin.”

So, the fact that Mateo still has his life is merely for Nikki’s benefit.

This estupido clearly thinks he’s asserting dominance as his chest puffs out and he stares into my eyes, as if he is able to bend me to his will.

For the time being, he’ll keep his life.

I can’t be in two places at once, but I know better than to turn my back on him.

He might not have my respect, but he’s almost as lethal as I am.

Ricky is out of the car, his feet driving against the pavement until he’s at my side, brandishing his semi-automatic toward Mateo. I have to find her. Every second counts, and the longer I stand here, the worse the situation could get between us.

“ Sí, soy loco lobo. Soy El Lobo quien te martara, manana. ” I promise his future death before bolting off to my car. Raw emotions mixed with adrenaline surge through my body, and my heart hammers in my chest.

I have to get to Nikki. I have to find her. Where did she go? As I approach the parking garage, I see her pull out. She is running away from me. From us. I can’t let her do that. I have to explain.

Running to my car, I swing the door open, drop into the driver’s seat and peel out of the parking lot.

The places she could be are endless, but Nikki is a creature of habit.

She completes her shift, then goes home.

Occasionally, she goes to her sister and brother-in-law’s house for dinner, but it’s further away from the hospital.

My deepest fears are reality. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.

I was going to tell her the truth. I should have already, but I was greedy with her.

I didn’t want to risk losing everything, so I waited for the perfect moment to reveal my true identity.

Maybe there are never perfect moments. Perhaps, no matter how much thought and effort go into a situation, when it’s one such as ours, there can only be a singular outcome. Broken hearts and disaster.

When I whip the car into the parking lot of her apartment complex, I frantically scan the area for any clue that she’s returned home. My throat burns, and it feels like there is an enormous cotton ball stuck inside.

My eyes land on her car in its usual spot, and I suck in to fill my lungs with air, sighing at the sight.

She has to let me explain. This can’t be the end of us.

Before meeting her, I didn’t think someone would ever hold this much power over me.

My true identity isn’t the only secret I have held back from her.

The feelings I have for her are strong, and I never told her.

Before her, I didn’t know what it meant to feel as if you were only alive because someone else’s heart was beating.

If she won’t take me back, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to breathe again. At least, that’s the way it feels.

I knock on the door. She might not want to see me, but I’m not leaving until she hears me out.

I wait a few seconds, and when she doesn’t come to the door, I pound on it with my fists.

“Nikki. Hermosa . I’m sorry. You weren’t supposed to find out like this.

I was going to tell you,” I plead with her, hoping she is listening.

“ Parajarito ? Please. I have to see you. I need you. I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry, mi amor .

I’m sorry.” I pour my heart out to the closed door, whispering the last two sentences.

My eyes burn, and my throat is tight.

I lean my forehead against the door, pounding my fists against it again. Her name leaves my lips as I slide down the smooth edge of the door to kneel in front of it.

I don’t know how long I stay like this, but when sunlight fades and the trees cast a shadow over me, I repeat her name once more.

She’s not coming. She doesn’t want a shadow king who brings nothing but pain and agony.

She wanted Alex Wolf, not El Lobo . As nighttime consumes the day, I finally get to my feet and leave.

A king without his queen is no more than a man living in a fantasy.

It’s time to wake up from the dream we’ve been living in and go back to reality.

The one where I’m a cold, heartless leader who has never known how it feels to love someone.

I should have left her alone after she walked away the first time.

It wasn’t painful, and I never thought I’d see her again.

However, I chased after her out of curiosity, or, at least, that’s what I told myself.

I think even then, I knew she would never be someone I could live without.

Now it isn’t a question. I’ll never be whole again.