Page 42 of Conviction

“What the fuck was that all about? Who’s she?” Laws asks.

“She’s my…” I struggle to find a word to use to describe what Meebs is to me.

“She’s the gravy on his roast,” Tyler tells Lawson. His mouth drops open.

“That’s her? That’s… Whatever that name is that he calls her?” he asks Ty like I’m not even here.

“Amoeba,” we both say together.

“What the fuck sort of name is Amoeba?” Lawson asks.

I can’t help but smile as I remember how it came about.

“I’ve known her for years, we went to the same infant and primary school. She’s always been really tiny. Little, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Everyone was always calling her titch and shorty, things like that. When me and Josh went up to secondary school, we were in biology, and there was a drawing on the chalkboard. It sort of looked like a fried egg, but with a blue middle, instead of yellow. Written above it, it said, ‘Amoeba – small, single-celled organism.’ Josh and I looked at each other and at the same time said, ‘Nina’.” I look between them both and shrug my shoulders. “And that was it, Nina Amoeba. We were about thirteen and a complete pair of arseholes. We couldn’t wait to get to his house and terrorise the shit out of her. She would’ve been about eleven at the time, and I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.” I take another swig of my water, totally aware of the fact that I must sound like a complete cunt. “We thought the new nickname would piss her off. Instead, she smiled and said, ‘I love it. In fact, when I grow up and have a daughter, I might actually call her Amoeba, I like it so much’.”

Lawson shakes his head as he pats me on the shoulder. “Conner Reed, what a fucking pussy.”

Ican’t believe he’s here.

I can’t believe, after all these years I reacted like that.

I wanted to slap him.

I wanted to claw at his face.

I wanted him to pull me into his arms and never let me go.

I wanted him to love me again, just like he used to.

I think I might be a little bit drunk.

I look up from where I’m sitting on a chair, in an office at the club. Conner’s brother’s wife Jenna is leaning against a desk next to Sophie looking at me, wearing a frown.

She passes me the bottle of water she’s holding. I take a deep breath and then take a sip from the bottle.

Sophie’s texting on her phone but looks up at me. “I’m so sorry, Neen. I swear to God, I had no idea he was gonna be here.”

My bottom lip trembles. I just can’t believe it all still hurts so much.

Jenna steps forward and passes me a tissue.

“Thank you,” I say very quietly.

I lost my virginity to Conner at her house.I wonder if she knows that.I give her a small smile.

“Good to see you, Jenna.” She gives me what’s hopefully, a genuine smile back.

“And you Nina, it’s been a while.”

“Fifteen years. Ethan was just a baby,” I tell her.

“Wow, a lifetime ago. He’s sixteen now.”

I nod as I try to wrap my head around that fact.

“How you feeling baby chick? You lost it there for a bit,” Sophie asks.

“I’m feeling better. Sorry about that. I was just so shocked to see him after all this time. I don’t know what happened.”