Page 131 of Consumed By You

“She’s really strong, but you can tell she’s barely keeping it together.”

Like a magnet, my eyes find Benjamin immediately. He’s talking with Doris and the minister. As if he can sense me there, he excuses himself and heads for us. His suit is perfectly tailored to his muscular form. The black suit, much like Kevin’s apart from the price tag, looks strikingly handsome on him.

Things between Benjamin and I as of late have been wary and distant, but during moments like right now, where his eyes are on no one but me, I can’t help but glow. It’s been days since that argument in his apartment, and while we settled everything, it did bring a barrier up. He is keeping things from me, I know that. I just hope one day he can trust me with everything.

I want to be a person he can count on.

I blush, feeling gazes on us as he presses his lips to mine. He addresses Kevin and Marilyn. “Thanks for coming.”

Kevin stuffs his hands into his pockets. “Can we just sit anywhere or is there a seating chart?”

“You may sit anywhere. It’s an open ceremony,” Benjamin replies.

Kevin and Marilyn go take a seat in the back.

I take Benjamin’s hand hesitantly and ask him whether we are sitting together, loathing that I’m unsure of what his answer will be.

His brows turn up as if he doesn’t understand what I’m asking. “Of course, Darcy.”

Doris comes up behind him. “Hello, Darcy.”

I walk up and hug her. Her arms come around me tightly. “Doris, you look beautiful.”

She chuckles, scoffing. “I don’t feel very beautiful.”

“Would I lie to you?”

I manage to bring a slight smile to her face. “No, you wouldn’t.”

The minister begins to speak and Doris’s face falls.

I take her hand and walk up with her to take her to her seat. Her son Henry is waiting for her. After she sits, I turn to leave, but she urges me back. “Stay with me, please.”

I take a seat, and Benjamin sits down next to me.

The service goes by in a blur, and the whole time I’m wishing this wasn’t happening. That Arthur were still here. That Doris wasn’t alone. That I could still come over to see him for Saturday night dinners.

I’m pulled from the dream-like daze when Doris stands next to me and lets go of my hand. Her wedding bands sparkle against the coffin in the sunlight, caressing the wood. She leans down and presses her lips to the mahogany. My lips tremble.

It’s a couple seconds before I hear her quivering voice.

“Arthur and I met in grade school. We were in the same class. One day, I had stupidly dropped cola all over my new dress…I was a transfer student and didn’t have any friends at that school yet.”

She takes in a deep breath. “I was so embarrassed and everyone saw it happen. Well, Art, the most popular kid at the time, came over and handed me napkins. He told me the nurse had extra clothes in her office and he escorted me there. It may seem like an insignificant story but,” she shrugs, “I knew from that moment, I don’t know how, butI knewI would love him for-forever.”

Her voice breaks and she starts to cry. I clench my hands together on my lap.

“He gave mesomuch. A wedding, a home, a son. I never had much to give him apart from my heart. He’s always had it. He cherished it throughout these fifty-four years, and I’ll always be grateful to him for that.” She wipes under her nose with the tissue, her hands shaking.

“Arthur, you gave me a fairy tale kind of love, one people only dream of. Keep my heart close. It will always be yours.”

As she sits down, my stomach is churning with so many different emotions. We all stand while his coffin is lowered into the ground.

I know the image of Doris and her son clutching each other well after the ceremony ended will stay with me forever.

***

The wake is being held at Benjamin’s apartment since Doris still hasn’t gone into her house. The ambiance of the party is heavy and full of grief. Arthur was loved by many. Now he’s missed by many. Doris has been in the guest room for an hour. She hasn’t had the strength to come out. I’ve been walking around in a daze, unable to get the words she said out of my head. They’re eating at my insides.