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TOM

T he flight back to Colorado was a bit lonely.

Kelsey and Sam had brought me to the airport so Crew could say goodbye.

She would follow up with Calliope and Crew early next week.

Monica had arranged for movers to bring Callie’s belongings out between now and then, but I wanted to be there to greet the truck.

It’s a good thing I went for the three-bedroom townhouse instead of the two-bedroom one.

Otherwise, I wouldn’t have a place for Callie and probably would have had to sell a place Crew had started taking to as his home.

It’s bad enough he had to get used to my place in Boston as a temporary place to live.

My mother had tried to assure me that the place could change as long as the people in his life remained consistent, but we already put him through enough instability.

I unlocked the front door and dropped my bags just inside the townhouse.

I had a small patio out back, but the development had plenty of communal open space, including a pool, gym, and playground.

The first time I’d met some of the guys in the gym for a workout, we accumulated a bit of a watch party, but eventually, the other residents learned to respect our space.

We usually worked out in team facilities anyway.

It was just nice to work out at your own home base occasionally.

I had been able to get on the ice over the summer, but not nearly as much as I wanted to, fuck it was great to be back.

I had barely closed the door when I heard three telltale bangs on the front door.

Bendik. He never used the doorbell; he said it always made him panic anytime it rang, and he never wanted to make someone else feel uncomfortable.

“Come in,” I shouted while dropping my keys on the kitchen island and inspecting the refrigerator to see what had been stocked for me ahead of time. Monica always did a little extra, likely because Sam and Kelsey paid her so goddamn much that she gave me a break.

The massive change in my life and standard of living, once I signed professionally and became linked to Sam Drummond through my son, had been a lot to handle.

Kelsey had initially tried to refuse child support for Crew, claiming that she didn’t need it.

Meeting my son when he was four months old, after only hours of knowing that he potentially existed, was the first parental decision I made from the gut.

I couldn’t understand how men could leave their kids behind or not take care of them.

“Man, how’d you get stocked up so quickly?” Bendik said, helping himself to a beer in my fridge.

“Monica,” I said, by way of explanation.

“Mariana took the kids to the store to get some groceries. Don’t tell her you have someone do this for you. She’ll want to spend half my salary to hire your girl.”

“Yeah, why don’t you try to figure out a custody arrangement between a pro baseball player and an NHL player? Then you can tell me I don’t need all the help I can get.”

“Speaking of help, tell me more about the nanny.”

“Can’t call her that in front of the guys.”

“Yeah, yeah. What’s her story? Does she have social media? Let me look her up.”

I showed him her social media handles, which I had added in the past twenty-four hours.

I might have saved a few of her TikTok videos singing a few of her original songs.

In the bar, I’d known she was talented while singing cover songs, but the lyrics of her original songs were haunting with a depth that comes from knowing human pain and loss and loneliness—a feeling I understood far better than I wanted to.

You never expected the person surrounded by people, friends, and family to be lonely.

“So?” I asked after a minute of his scrolling.

“Yeah, good call. Between the rookies and dozens of prospects who will be vying for a chance on the roster, it’s a lot safer for them to know she’s off-limits.

” Many of the guys new to the league had a bit of a culture shock when they started getting their first checks.

Some went a bit hog wild, cars, women, booze, and partying.

Others were already in committed relationships that either were made stronger by the tests of the sport or dramatically fell apart.

Hockey players had a reputation for cheating, and it wasn’t all made up.

“Can you have Mariana take her into the fold?” The WAGs had their own tight-knit circle; it was a lot like found family during the season.

The only holiday we were sure to have off was Christmas, and that was only a couple of days.

These women worked together to welcome new “family” members into the fold and create a support network for everything from childcare to basic emotional support.

Mariana had an open door and often had one of the WAGs in her kitchen either crying on her shoulder or getting a tough love speech.

“Yeah. I just sent her Calliope’s Instagram profile. She’ll be on it by dinnertime. When is Crew arriving?”

“Late tomorrow, I’ll pick them up at the airport after we train.”

“Is his mom going to stay here?”

“Just one night, then she’ll head home. After that, Calliope will be traveling back and forth with him until spring. Kelsey’s pregnant and due around the beginning of the year. She’s not cleared to fly after October.”

“Dude, no one else but you could make this shit show work,” Alex said, shaking his head.

He knew how badly this situation had distracted me during the season last year.

But the summer had been precisely what I had needed.

I had plenty of time to spend with Crew without travel demands.

Kelsey also minimized her travel during the baseball season and only traveled to Sam’s games when I had Crew.

My boy had been on my flights in his first year of life than I had been on in my first twenty years.

“Does it work? Sometimes, I wonder if I’m kidding myself that this can work. Or am I just fucking my son up, forcing him into a fucked-up situation to serve my own needs?”

“Nah, man. You’re his father, and he fucking loves you. There are plenty of things for you to guess second. That is not one of them.”

When I was with him this summer, I had been able to keep the nagging doubt away, but I was already letting the worst thoughts take over less than a week away from him.

I had spent several hours this morning researching pre-schools as the realization dawned that there would be no coast-to-coast travel once he was in school.

He’d be in Boston, and if I didn’t find a way to be closer to him, I would see him in the summer and school vacation if I was lucky.

“Yeah, well, it’s painfully obvious that single fatherhood doesn’t mix with a hockey career. Especially if your kid lives on the other side of the country.”

“While you’re here, we’ve got your back. Mariana can’t wait to see Crew, and as much as I know you want everyone to believe she’s your girlfriend, I don’t lie to my wife. She’ll keep the secret in the circle but needs to know the truth.”

Alex and Mariana had built a relationship on honesty and trust. His first few years had been rocky for their relationship as they struggled with immigration, distance, and the stress of being apart for so much of the year.

I knew that part of their agreement included never lying to each other, even about trivial things.

Amari rang the doorbell as a courtesy before busting into the front door. He said a quick hello and helped himself get a beer from my refrigerator. “What’d I miss?”

Alex tossed him his cell phone with Calliope’s Instagram account open for Damon to peruse. “Here, I was just doing some virtual stalking. And we agreed that the circle that knows their fake relationship will be limited to the three of us, including Mariana.”

“Not Kayleigh?” Damon asked.

“Uh, is she back in the picture?” I asked with a quick glance between my two teammates.

“Kind of,” Damon said.

“Is she moving back out here?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, she’s back. While I was home for the summer, we hooked up and wanted to find a way to work on things.

She’s trying to control her jealousy, and I’m working on making her feel more secure.

We will reassess and decide after Christmas break.

But she plans to come out for our home opener and as many home games as possible. ”

Damon’s relationship wasn’t my business, but what was my business was when he struggled when he was on the ice for his shift.

The business of hockey could be cutthroat, and the strongest players were the ones who kept their personal business off the ice.

While we would all be forgiven an occasional bad game, it wasn’t something we could afford to make a pattern.

“Any reservations about us having a cookout this Sunday?” Alex asked after checking his phone and reading a text from his wife. “Mariana is ready to mother everyone she can.”

Damon and I both nodded, “Yeah. Sunday would work. Crew and Callie should be settled in by then. Kelsey will be back in Boston. Once training camp starts, I won’t be able to do much to help her out, so the earlier we can get her connected, the better.”