Page 14

Of course, because everything was just fucking fantastic , when I arrived to help with breakfast at the main lodge shit hit the fan. Not immediately, though. First, I served plates of food to children—strange ones and familiar ones—and plopped heaps of reheated pancakes on massive, hairy adult men’s trays. All the while pretending like I hadn’t woken up actively molesting Alex’s dick.

It was hard to forget that last tidbit.

The guilt, shame, and confusion I felt made my cheeks permanently flushed. And even Roderick’s cousin’s lack of hygiene could not pull me from my thoughts.

Gaggles of people filled the long tables that took up the majority of the main log cabin that’d been delegated for meals and crafts. Most of the children were still sleepy, some of them even laying their tiny faces on the tables to nap while their parents chittered back and forth. Everyone was dressed in various pajama sets, but all were plowing through the food my mom, my siblings, and I had prepared.

Speaking of my wayward mother, she was currently heating a frankly terrifyingly massive amount of hot chocolate in the kitchen. I’d walked past her to get a refill for the bacon, and been momentarily floored by affection the second I saw her.

Her dress that morning was an eye-fuckingly bright neon yellow. Covered in tropical birds, her dress was nearly as obnoxious as the colossal pile of blond hair on her head. I swear to god it was somehow even taller than yesterday’s beehive.

Mom was singing to herself as she stirred the pot, looking like an evil witch with her cauldron of sugar. The scent of cocoa was so strong I wouldn’t be surprised if she accidentally summoned an Oompa Loompa. The current sight reminded me of an ad campaign I’d done once for a Halloween-themed cereal company.

Nostalgia warmed me from head to toe.

Every time we’d gone camping with Roderick’s family when we were kids, the first thing we did in the morning was heat up a huge jug of cocoa. It was tradition—which made it less than surprising that she’d opted to include that particular treat for Roderick’s wedding.

It shouldn’t have been a big deal.

And it wasn’t.

Until I was reassigned—no longer on plating duty—and relegated to the freshly set up “hot cocoa stand”. There was a sign and everything on a small black chalkboard, Mom’s handwriting effortlessly pretty, the words written in swirly white. She’d always had excellent penmanship, something that had inspired all of her children to follow in her footsteps. We were hellions growing up most of the time, but at least every last one of us had a passable signature—even Joe, and his massive-ass hands.

Atop the table was a giant thermos of the cocoa I’d watched her heat. Running its length was a plethora of small glass jars full of a myriad of toppings: marshmallows, sprinkles, peppermints. Beside the jars sat enough whipped cream bottles to feed a small army. Which…I supposed we kinda were.

Between Roderick’s family, June and Alex’s, and all the randos, the place was positively packed. I’d say I was surprised by the turnout, but that would be a lie. June and Roderick were obviously adored.

Anyway, Mom didn’t trust the teens and children to serve their own cocoa—which was fair—and meant that it was my job. At the front of the line was a group of rowdy teens. Judging by the dark hair, I figured they were probably from the James’s side.

Pre-teens maybe? No. Some of them were too tall for that.

They were giggling, and as I settled into the repetition of filling mugs, my thoughts wandered. Back to the tent this morning. Back to how sleep-scratchy Alex’s voice had been. And god…his dick. His dick had been so fat and thick and insistent—just as large as he’d hinted it was. Easily the same size as Nei— fuck!

Fuck, ow!

Fucking fucking fuck stick. Jesus Christ. Mother fucker.

That hurt!

When I glanced down, I realized I’d somehow—like a total idiot—poured near-boiling cocoa all over my fingers. Ah. Jeez. Fuck. Ugh . I wanted to swear, to stomp, to—to— something . But I didn’t. Young ears were listening. After what had happened at the barbecue I refused to cause another scene. And cussing up a storm was a sure-fire way to do just that.

Shaking, pain making my vision fuzzy, all thoughts—okay, most thoughts—of Alex fled.

“H-Here you go,” I managed through gritted teeth as I shakily handed the first teen his cup.

“Thanks, dude!” he said, stepping out of the way so the next teen-person could take his place. I grinned and bore the pain. Cup after cup, far more carefully, I finished my task. By the time the line had diminished, the pain in my fingers had morphed into a dull numbness. Which…unfortunately meant that the burn was worse than I’d initially thought.

But even then, that wasn’t when the shit hit the fan.

No.

It hit when Joe came bounding into the mess hall, his arms held high in triumph, a gaggle of bobble-headed faux alpha-males trailing after him wearing… hiking backpacks. I vaguely recognized some of them from the barbecue, and also from serving them this morning, but not well enough to recall names. The hiking backpacks were a dead giveaway that something terrible, horrible, awful was about to happen.

Oh god.

No.

No, no, no.

Roddy was right behind Joe at the front, pleasant as ever. He fit in with my family better than I did. My chest gave a dull throb as I watched Joe herd him in Mom’s direction. Which also just so happened to be my direction, as the breakfast table was adjacent to the cocoa one. I’d been lucky she’d been out of the room when I’d burned myself, or she would’ve caused a fuss.

“Mrs. M.” Roddy was grinning, all cheesy and earnest, like he had when we were sixteen and he’d asked me if I “might like to dance with him at the prom?”

“Roddy!” Mom beamed at him, moving around the table to pull him down into a hug. She’d done the same to me when I’d walked in this morning. I knew firsthand how back-crushingly lovely her hugs were. Roderick laughed, returning the hug before releasing her and standing straight. “You’re too skinny,” she said as she moved back behind the table, dishing him up a heaping plate. “Here.”

It was the same thing she’d said to me at the barbecue.

I had to cough to hide my amusement.

“Ha!” Roderick said good-naturedly, patting his stomach. “I don’t know about that.”

“Oh, posh.” She’d been watching way too many Great British Bake Off episodes lately. Picking up the lingo. “Here.” His paper plate was piled high as she shoved it toward him. There were definitely extra strips of bacon on there beside his eggs and pancakes.

“Thanks,” Roderick beamed, accepting the food. The men behind him waited patiently. “Gotta keep my strength up for the big hike today!”

“Smart boy,” Mom winked.

“You know it!”

“Are you going too?” Mom asked, turning her attention to Joe. He nodded, a short up and down. “Why don’t you bring your brother? He could use some sun.”

“I don’t know about that,” I replied quickly. I’d been wanting to spend time with Joe today, but hiking? Ugh. No thank you.

“Honey,” Mom twisted to look at me, and my cheeks flushed anew. “Go have some fun! That’s why you’re here, right?”

Ha.

As if any of this was fun.

My thoughts—because they were assholes—slid back to the car ride with Alex and how much I’d enjoyed it. Also the pillow fight the night before. His apology pickles. And his big hand on my thigh?—

Fuck.

Okay.

Maybe hiking would get my mind off of him? Hell, that was not something I’d ever thought I’d say. At the very least, it would keep me away from him until I had a chance to calm down. It might even…be a good thing. Then I wouldn’t start panicking the next time I saw him. And I could slip in some solid big brother, little brother bonding while I was at it.

Win-win.

Alex’s offer to be “practice boyfriends” continued to weigh on me. There were five days left till the wedding. Five days. And he’d be impossible to avoid even if I never said yes.

There was…a lot on my mind.

Maybe Joe could distract me?

“Okay,” I finally conceded. Mom beamed. Roderick’s eyes twinkled like he knew something I didn’t. They shared a look that was less than subtle, but I was forced to ignore it for the sake of my own sanity. “Fine.”

“Hell yes!” Roderick gave me a thumbs up, plate clutched in his other hand. “We’re leaving in twenty. Meet outside cabin two. Wear a hat! And bring sunscreen.”

“Will do.”

Joe smiled at me.

Smiled.

I had no doubt that if the table wasn’t between us, he’d try to break my back with another of his bear hugs.

“See you in a bit, buddy,” I promised. He nodded, and the light in his eyes made it a lot easier to swallow the fact that I’d just agreed to go on a hike. My burns stung, and I ignored that too, focused instead on what I’d need to do to get ready.

Luckily, I’d packed a shirt with long sleeves. Unluckily, the fabric did nothing to conceal the burns on my fingertips. I pulled the sleeves down, trying to slide my fingers beneath, but that only seemed to make the fact I was hiding something obvious—so I stopped.

The numbness was still there, which made it easier to ignore, a blessing and a curse. It felt strange, like the really burned bits were all sensationed-out, but the parts of my skin that hadn’t literally boiled off were still smarting.

I kept an eye out for Alex—but he was not in our tent or the bathrooms when I hurried to dress for the day. I debated treating my wounds, but didn’t want to draw more negative attention to myself. If people saw them, what would they think? That I was inept as well as volatile. Brendon’s voice was as loud as ever in the back of my mind.

You’re too fussy.

I left the burns alone.

Luckily for me, I’d packed a few sets of shorts in my backpack along with a single pair of jeans, so I could be more comfortable as I moved. I’d run out of clothing soon, but for now I was covered.

I hadn’t seen Alex at breakfast.

Which of course had made me begin to stress.

He’s not avoiding you.

He’s with his sister.

The bride.

Because that would be logical, I told myself, even though part of me still remained worried.

I was supposed to be avoiding him , not the other way around.

Maybe he was off managing…something? Like he had when we’d run errands together. All effortless confidence and poise. Alex always seemed to know exactly what to say to get what he wanted. I’d watched him charm the florist out of a mental breakdown.

Empathy was not something he lacked. Nor was it possible to ignore how good at social engineering he was.

Which only served to remind me how embarrassing last night had been.

He’d probably seen right through me.

Thinking about how stupid I’d looked squirming into his sleeping bag because of a fucking bug made my skin crawl. There were so many reasons to stay away from him I was beginning to lose track.

Which was why I was shocked-horrified-elated to discover Alex waiting at cabin two for the hike with the rest of the dude-bros. He offered me a grin that I did not return.

Fuck.

There went my plan to avoid him.

Right down the drain.

Honestly, why was I surprised? Nothing on this trip had gone to plan. Not my backpack, not my suitcase, not our sleeping arrangements.

Half an hour later, the sun had climbed high enough it dripped through the trees. Bursts of heat passed over my skin every time I stepped between the shadows. I was the slowest in the group, which was unsurprising, but I was content to linger at the back.

Avoid, avoid, avoid , that was my new motto.

Joe stuck to my side. He was as stoic as always, thick and silent as the trees we passed. Every so often, he’d point out a bird in the trees, and I’d jump, terrified of the great outdoors and all its perils.

“Magpie,” he grunted when a black and white bird hopped along a log to our left.

It was…admittedly beautiful. A lot less intimidating than most other wild creatures, that was for sure.

Animals weren’t afraid of Joe. They flew in close—one time, so close, I was worried a robin was about to land directly on his head. Like he was a Disney princess.

I asked him questions to fill the silence. About his farm fund. About his hunt for land. About whether or not he was interested in living anywhere but Vermont. To which the answer was maybe.

Apparently, there were a lot of birds there.

And farms.

And our…second cousin? Baxter Baker lived there. Not that I’d ever met the man, as Mom said his side of the family—aside from him and his daughter—were not the nicest people.

Which made it enticing .

“I want to be like you,” Joe said, blue eyes caught on the branches above. “See the world. Expand…horizons.”

He thought way too highly of me.

“I’m not all that great,” I confessed. Joe shook his head like he didn’t believe me. Without skipping a beat, he moved on. Eventually, even Joe, with his blank-faced patience, grew tired of slowing his pace. He left me to fend for myself at the back, working his way to the front, ahead of Roderick to scout out the trail.

I was relieved not to have the pressure of his attention, but I missed it all the same. Especially because now, without him to distract me, every fucking noise made me jump.

Alex was also ahead—no surprise there.

He hiked along in the noon sunlight, like climbing this goddamn never-ending hill was child’s play. Wearing another pair of frankly delicious black joggers, his ass flexed with each confident step. A backpack was slung easily over his broad shoulders, sweat building at his nape and spine, making his white cotton t-shirt stick to his skin, translucent in some places.

This was like…hiking porn, honestly.

Alex cackled at something Roderick said, their familiarity obvious. His head tossed back, thick throat exposed to my starving eyes. He acted as though they’d done this hundreds of times. Like they were brothers already. Alex threw an arm around Roderick’s shoulders, tugging him in close as one of the unnamed dark-haired cousins joined in the teasing. Alex’s t-shirt slipped up a few inches, revealing tan skin at his lower back, the dimples above his ass framing his spine.

Stop ogling.

I moved my gaze upward again, somewhere safer as I huffed and puffed along, dodging small craters in the earth that looked suspiciously like rodent homes.

Or worse .

Snake holes.

Alex wasn’t the only one sweating up a storm by the time the men leading the pack of stragglers decided we deserved a break. I was moist. Which was not a feeling I liked. My thong had been riding up the entire fucking hike and I hated myself a little because somehow I hadn’t predicted the underwear would be an issue on top of everything else.

Worse? My nipples felt chafed.

Paired with the wheeze of my lungs and the burning in my legs, I was having a hard time remembering why I’d thought coming on this hike was a good idea.

Joe had wandered off.

I hadn’t gotten away from Alex.

I had not reached emotional clarity.

I was sweaty and miserable and…lonely, despite being surrounded by people.

There was a creek up ahead. I could hear its tinkling babble as I collapsed onto a boulder just off the trail and shook out the pins and needles in my feet. I hadn’t worn hiking shoes. The only shoes I’d had were my loafers from the airport. They were not outdoor shoes. I was lucky my mom had had a new pair of tennis shoes in my size laying around. She’d claimed they were an old Christmas gift she’d forgotten to give me.

They were new, not even close to broken in—and definitely not meant for hiking on uneven terrain. I swear to god it felt like I was going to roll my ankle every five seconds.

Stretching out my legs, I mourned the fact I was not with Mom back at the tables in the main cabin, helping the kiddos with arts and crafts.

I hated this.

I hated it so much.

A bee buzzed by my head—or maybe it was a wasp?—and I startled, swatting at it. Wait. I froze, realizing that swatting was exactly what would incite the heinous creature’s wrath. A very unhappy noise squawked its way out of my throat.

“Fuck off you buzzy bitc?—”

Which was, of course, when Alex finally decided to grace me with his presence, all shiny white teeth, and dimples. The wasp flew away, thank God. My shame remained.

“You good?” he asked, studying my red face and wide eyes. He was probably already regretting his choice to approach me.

I almost lied and said I was fine, but then I remembered how much he said he hated liars and figured the truth would only cost me a bit of pride. I’d abused him enough for one day and it was barely lunchtime.

“There was a bug,” I sighed.

“Ah.” Alex bit his lip, obviously trying not to smile. “Sneaky little things, huh?”

“I didn’t see it coming.”

Alex clucked his tongue, his amusement only growing. “What kind of bug?”

“A… buzzy one.” Wasp or bee. I wasn’t sure. “Murderous, probably.”

“Probably.” Alex lost the war with himself and laughed. Except it didn’t feel like he was laughing at me, more like laughing…with me? Or…at the very least, finding joy from my particular brand of fussiness. “I have bug spray in my backpack if you want some. Won’t help you against murderous-buzzy ones, but will make sure your cute ass doesn’t get bit by mosquitos.”

“Mosquitos?”

“Because of the lake, Blondie. Didn’t you read the itinerary?” Alex sat down beside me on the boulder, his thigh pressing into mine.

“Do I look like the kind of person who doesn’t read itineraries?” I sniffed. “I didn’t receive one. I would’ve read it if I had.”

“I can find one for you somewhere if you want,” Alex offered.

“That’s unnecessary.”

“Suit yourself.”

His body was warm. As warm as it’d been this morning when I’d—no no no. Stop thinking about that. Sneakily, I glanced down at Alex’s legs and the python he had hidden between them. It’d felt big. Really big.

Fuck.

My mouth watered.

“Water?” Alex asked after rustling around in his bag. He waved his fancy insulated metal bottle at me. It was name-brand. Because of course it was.

I hadn’t brought one, even though I knew Mom had a cooler full.

Like an idiot.

“Thanks.” I took the bottle because as much as I hated relying on him—again—I was, in fact, rather parched. I popped the cap open, then paused, realizing with a flicker of heat that Alex had just put his mouth on this. Which meant if I put mine there, we’d be sharing germs.

Like…an indirect kiss.

“I don’t have cooties if that’s why you’re hesitating.”

“Shut up,” I scoffed. Kiss or not, I was thirsty. I took a long, languorous sip. Didn’t want to take too much, so I left it at that, the cool water spilling across my tongue, wetting my dry, dry throat. I sighed when I finished, reluctant to give the bottle back because the chilled metal felt like heaven on my sore fingertips.

“I figured you would’ve stayed behind,” Alex said, rustling around some more, presumably for the bug spray. “I didn’t take you for the hiking type.” His words rankled but he said them in such an open-minded, non-judgemental way that I couldn’t really take offense. It was simply a fact, not an insult.

“I’m not.”

“Then why come?” Alex found the bug spray, and I reluctantly handed him back his water bottle so he could tuck it away.

“I’m here to spend time with Joe.”

Alex glanced around pointedly, the lack of Joe in my surroundings evident.

“You sure you weren’t out here trying to avoid me?” Alex quirked a brow, and I hated that I’d already decided not to lie to him. Because I definitely wanted to.

“Maybe a bit.”

“You know, this morning?—”

“Let’s not talk about this right now,” I cut him off, cheeks red. “ Please . People could hear and—and?—”

“Yeah, okay.” Alex agreed easily. “Later, then.” He didn’t push me, which was weird but nice. Just like his behavior last night had been, and the day before. “When we’re alone.”

Oh god.

I was going to have to be alone with him again, wasn’t I?

We shared a tent.

“Roll up your sleeves,” Alex urged. “I’m gonna get you covered in no-no bug juice.”

“No-no bug juice?” I arched a brow. “What are you, five?”

“Apparently.” Alex smirked. “Got you to smile, didn’t I?”

“Oh.”

He was right.

I was smiling.

Huh.

“Whatever.”

I glared at him.

Then I did as I was told, rolling up the sleeve on my right arm. I was careful not to allow him to see the burns on my fingers, lest he judge me.

Alex was, as always, very handsy as he helped spray me for bugs. He dealt with my left arm, pushing up the fabric so he could get at bare skin, fingers firm and sure. Somehow his touch was even more electric than before. And his scent—Christ, his natural musk made me feel like I was going crazy every time I got a whiff of it. All clean sweat and sunshine.

He had to have some crazy pheromones because I had never in all my life been more tempted to climb on top of someone and rub myself all over them. I knew firsthand what it felt like to be squashed up against all that bulk. Strong. Squishy in all the right places. Hard in others.

I swallowed, once again distracted.

Get your mind out of the gutter, George.

Change the subject.

“Do you like hiking?” I asked as I tipped my head away while he sprayed my exposed arms and legs. The smell was awful. Which was unsurprising. I tried not to breathe it in.

“What gave me away?” Alex winked. I narrowed my eyes at him, and seeing my ire, he elaborated. “I didn’t get to do this a lot. Dad was busy when we were growing up, so June and I didn’t branch out much with our hobbies till we were adults. We’ve tried a lot of things together since. Travel. Et cetera. But camping and hiking are her favorite—hence why she wanted me to rent out a glorified summer camp for her wedding. She drags me out all the time with her and Roderick.”

“You spend a lot of time with each other?”

“Oh, yeah. She’s my best friend.” Alex said this with no hint of self-consciousness whatsoever. He fanned a hand over my arms to dry the bug spray. “Right out of high school, we went backpacking together. Spent a few days in Utah climbing through Zion, some time at the Redwoods, and Yellowstone. Went to Central America at the end, hiked Machu Picchu. We don’t go nearly that wild anymore—both of us are mostly homebodies—but we find time to hang out even when we’re home.”

“Wow.” Very outdoorsy then. That paired with his admission on the plane that he liked sports, and I was swiftly realizing that Alex was more unhinged than I’d hypothesized. I mean…who chooses to do any of that? Insane people, that’s who.

“You don’t have to look so disgusted,” Alex teased. I hadn’t realized my nose had been scrunched up until I forced it to relax. His skin was hot as he rolled my sleeves back down when I was sufficiently dry .

The innocent touch made my skin tingle.

“I’m not disgusted, I just…” I shuddered. “I don’t see how you could voluntarily put yourself in that position.”

“In the position of going outside?” Alex was obviously trying not to laugh.

“Yes.”

“Almost like you’re doing right now,” he pointed out.

I elbowed him.

Hard.

Alex chuckled, the sound rolling over me. He leaned into my side, and I felt the tickle of his dark hair against my ear as he spoke. “I don’t mind that you’re not outdoorsy, Georgie. For the record, I like that about you.”

I didn’t know what to say so I just said, “Fuck off.”

This wasn’t fair.

I wasn’t supposed to find Alex charming—or to enjoy talking to him.

And what the hell had happened to my irritation? That was more rational than the riot of butterflies in my stomach.

Alex booped my nose playfully.

Which was violating.

And also…begrudgingly adorable .

My heart was wobbly, which was not at all comfortable.

Maybe I really was going to have a heart attack out here in the woods.

“Thanks for the no-no bug juice,” I joked, surprising myself. “And the water.”

“Anytime, Georgie Porgie. Was my pleasure.” Alex really looked like he meant that, too.

“Why don’t you go find someone else to terrorize?” I grimaced.

“Worn out my welcome?”

“When were you ever welcome?” I snarked. Alex laughed, tossing his head back, his throat bobbing. Not to compare, but it was an even sunnier laugh than the one he’d graced Roderick with earlier.

“Touché,” he replied .

And then he was gone, rising from the boulder and loping away just as quickly as he’d arrived. Even though I’d been the one to banish him, I kinda missed his grin as I rose to my already sore feet. Joe was at the front, gesturing Alex and Roderick forward. Apparently, our break was over and it was time to torture ourselves some more.

Except…the hike didn’t feel nearly as horrible now that I knew Alex and I were okay. He hadn’t seemed weirded out or uncomfortable. He was his usual, insufferably endearing self. Ew. Endearing? When had I started to think that?

I still needed to apologize for this morning.

But that could wait until we didn’t have an audience.

I picked up the pace, no longer dragging my feet as we made our way to the creek. Maybe this hiking thing wasn’t so bad?

Famous last words.