Page 92 of Close to You

‘Are you all right?’ Ben asks.

‘I am now. Thanks for coming.’

We drive in silence for a while, following the road out of Gradingham until we reach the welcome sign. After that, the street lights are behind us and darkness looms.

‘Jane’s worried,’ Ben says.

I turn sideways to take him in, though his eyes are focused on the road.

‘What about?’

‘About you and David. She thinks he’s taking advantage. That he’s living with you rent-free and that you pay for everything.’

‘It’s not like that,’ I say.

‘Isn’t it?’

‘He works hard.’

‘Are you telling me, or yourself?’

I open my mouth to reply and then realise that I don’t know what to say. We both know that Ben’s right.

‘He was never one of my friends at university,’ Ben says.

‘Jane told me.’

‘I’d wanted to say something for ages. Jane and I talked about it, but the time never felt right. We figured you’d break up sooner or later. After a while, it was too late.’

‘Does it matter whether you were friends?’

Ben continues driving, missing a beat, and then says: ‘Maybe not. But if he lied about something your friends could easily disprove, then what else would he lie about?’

He leaves it there, though I’m not ready to cave on the point quite yet.

‘David’s just… misunderstood,’ I say. ‘He’s unorthodox.’

Ben takes a hand off the steering wheel and touches my arm. It only lasts a moment but, in that second, I know we both feel something. Almost as soon as he put his hand there, he removes it again.

‘Why did you marry him?’ Ben asks.

‘Whyhaven’tyou married Jane?’

He laughs a little, but it feels more like deflection than anything humorous. ‘I’m sure we will,’ he says.

‘You’ve been together a long time.’

‘Maybe I’m not the marrying type…?’

‘You’re not answering the question.’

‘Neither are you.’

Ben reaches forward and adjusts the air conditioning. For a few moments, we sit and listen to the warm air firing through the vents and then I can’t take it any longer.

‘I didn’t want to be alone,’ I say. He doesn’t reply, so I continue: ‘Do you remember when I broke up with Gary? It was at Jane’s birthday party at your house. I’d lost my job, too and you told me that everything would come together.’

‘I remember.’