Page 19 of Clash

Fuck! What the hell happened?

Groggy and disoriented, I awoke to find myself on the floor of my loft, the cold wooden ground a hardened mass underneath my heavy limbs.

Everything hurt.

My head.

My arms.

My knees.

Shit, what the fuck happened?

Crawling to my feet, I swayed a bit, finding the closest chair and hurling my body down into it. A little giggle caught my attention, and I found Alex staring at me, covering his smile with his hand.

“What?” I asked him, still trying to process what happened last night.

“You fell asleep on the floor. Mommy said it was because you were really tired. But you smell like my daddy did sometimes. He always smelled like that before he would hurt mommy. Did you hurt my mommy, Mr. Clash?”

I couldn’t remember.

Did I? Surely not.

“I don’t think so, kid.”

Alex pulled up a chair next to me, still grinning like a loon. “Mommy went to bed crying. I tried to pretend like I didn’t hear her, but the whole bed was shaking. The bed only does that when she cries.”

I felt like a total asshole.What the fuck did I do last night?

“My daddy always made my mommy cry. Sometimes, she couldn’t walk after making daddy angry.”

It was like the temperature of my body turned to broil, and everywhere I looked, I saw red, wanting to spill this man’s blood and torture him to death.

“I think he used his belt,” Alex whispered. “He hit me with his belt one time, too. It hurt. But I deserved it, I got in his way when he was trying to walk to the kitchen. He only hit me once though, ‘cause Mommy wouldn’t let him hit me anymore.”

Oh yeah. This man is going to fucking die.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Alex.”

“It hurt, but it didn’t happen again after that. Mommy wouldn’t let it.”

God, this woman was a fucking saint for putting up with all she had. The fact that she got away from the situation at all was crazy. He probably would’ve killed them both had she stayed any longer.

“Mommy said that Daddy loved me, but I’m not sure if I believe her. Do you think my daddy even cares that we’re gone?”

I sure do, kid, but not for the reasons you’re hoping for.

“I’m sure your daddy misses you. How could he not? You’re a pretty amazing kid.”

He blessed me with that famous toothy grin. “Daddy never called me amazing. He just said I was a mistake.”

Ouch. I felt that in my soul.Flashbacks of Shasta calling me a mistake reentered my brain, and I shook them away, trying to knock the bitch out of my thoughts.

“Well, I can tell you, your mommy definitely doesn’t think you’re a mistake.”

Alex laughed. “No, she says I’m the biggest blessing in the world.” He put his hand up to his mouth and dropped his voice. “I think it’s silly when she says that.”

“Why?” I whispered back.