Page 24

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If the heavens are real, I think Maverick has brought us to them.

Exhausted and flooded with happy hormones, we all drift in the water, floating on our backs, breathing together and occasionally murmuring to one another.

My defenses are down in a way they haven’t been for years, and all because of my new pack.

Of course, I’ve always been able to protect myself, but with Eli and the others here, it’s different.

Together, we are strong.

The sun is lowering in the sky, casting shadows over the hot springs and cooling the air, which makes the hot water feel even more delicious.

Faye’s hair is spread out in the water, floating, like she’s a mermaid.

Every once in a while, I reach out and touch it, running my fingers through it in the water.

I think if we’re in the heavens, Faye must be our angel, our goddess, our divine entity.

“It’s good that we’re relaxing,” Ezra says.

The rest of us murmur our agreement, and I wonder if there’s something in the air here that’s making us all so cool and calm or if it’s just the effect you get from being around your family.

Family .

The word hits me in the chest, just as Cayson speaks up, his voice slightly breaking us out of that dreamy fog. “Why is it good we’re relaxing?”

“Oh,” Ezra says, his voice coming back to himself as well, becoming a little more solid. “Just—well, you know. The official hearing is in two days with the council, since they’ve now met with them too and have both sides of the story.”

No, no, no , I think, as I feel everyone tense around me. The wonderful, warm, soft moment is gone as we all start to remember recent events and what we’ll be facing at the meeting. It was never going to last forever, but I wanted the weightless feeling to last a bit longer than it did.

“Right,” Faye says, sitting up, water sloshing off of her, her hair slicked down to her head.

She’s still beautiful, but I was enchanted by how her hair was floating in the water.

I want to ask her to lie back down, but the moment has already passed.

She wrings her hands together and focuses her gaze somewhere in the forest. “I can’t believe they’re going to go easy on Kurt, even after he took two lives.

How can they just disregard that? Life is precious.

Murderers shouldn’t just be let free like that, roaming around to hurt more people. ”

Murders. Going free.

My entire body goes cold, rigid, my throat closing up. I accidentally get some of the water in my mouth when I breathe, again, and it catches in my throat, making me cough violently. Maverick moves to my side, hitting my back until my airway is clear.

“Thanks,” I choke, and he nods, his eyes meeting mine.

“What’s wrong?” Faye asks, coming to my side and setting a hand on my shoulder. When her eyes meet mine, I know I have to tell her the truth.

I’d tried not to think about it. Tried not to wonder what my mate would think when she knew the truth. I should’ve told her a long time ago, but I’d buried my past so deep inside of me that I’d forgotten for a moment that the ghosts from my past will never truly be gone.

This isn’t real until she knows. Until she accepts me. All of me.

“I—” I swallow and watch as the other guys look away from us, giving me a moment to tell my truth. Ezra, Cayson, and Eli are clearly listening, but Maverick already knows what I’m going to tell her. “Faye, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What is it? Do you want to talk alone?” she asks, her hands raising, gripping mine. I hold onto them, hoping she doesn’t let go when I tell her the truth.

“No, we’re a family. I can say this here.” I take a deep breath. “You know how I was—I was kicked out of my pack.”

“Yes,” she says, running a thumb over the side of my hand. I look down at her hand, so small and delicate in mine, and swallow.

Please let her take this well. Please don’t let her turn away from me. I can’t handle it if she denies me.

“I was—well, I want to be honest with you. It was because I—I—I took a life.”

The air seems to freeze around us. Faye’s chest goes still, her eyes widening.

After a moment, as though her brain has processed this information, she rips her hands away from me, stumbling back in the water.

She almost falls, and I reach for her, but she catches herself, jerking away from my touch.

It stings. Even if I know I deserve it.

“ What ?” she says, her breath coming quickly now, her eyes darting to the others. “What? Is this a joke?”

I open my mouth to say something, but it’s like my brain has been replaced with a rock. I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing I was as eloquent as Maverick or Ezra. Or even fucking Cayson.

When they want them, the words come. When I need them, they abandon me.

Faye turns on her heel, sprinting as fast as she can away from me, out of the water, stumbling over to her dress. Everything about her movements screams that she wants to be anywhere but near me. Which hurts. I’m still the same man. Can’t she see that?

“Faye, you need to give him a chance to explain,” Eli says, but she ignores him, her hands shaking as she pulls her now-dry dress over her shoulders.

“Faye!” Ezra repeats, swimming toward her, getting ready to leave the water.

A moment later, she’s running, swallowed by the woods. Our perfect evening has been ruined by the truth of who I am and what I did.

I know I deserve it. And if she never forgives me, I’ll understand it.

“Go,” Maverick says, pushing my shoulder. “This is your chance. You need to tell her the truth.”

The rest of the guys nod at me—they don’t even know the truth, and yet, here they are, still trusting me. I half expected Cayson or Ezra to leap to their feet and warn me away from our mate, but they’re just staring back at me. Waiting. Giving me a chance to fix this.

Through our shared bond, they know I’m a good man. They still trust me with her. It’s a good feeling, even though I feel awful about Faye being afraid of me.

I turn and take off after her, heart thumping. I grab my pants as I go, yanking them up over my legs. My mind is working, trying to come up with the right thing to say. I know this is one of the most important things I’ll ever say in my life. If I don’t do this right, I could lose her forever.

Maybe no matter what I’ll lose her forever.

“Faye,” I say, voice low when I see her leaning against a tree, shoulders shaking.

“Don’t touch me,” she says, not turning around. “Right now every instinct inside of me is screaming to flee or fight as everything that happened to my brother flies through my head on repeat, and I don’t even know how to separate what Kurt did to him with what you did.”

I wince, but I understand why she feels that way. “I won’t touch you,” I say, putting my hands up, though she can’t see me do it. “I would never touch you if you didn’t want me to.”

She’s breathing hard. “Why did you follow me? What do you have to say?”

I still don’t know what to say, but I know saying nothing is the worst thing I can do, so I just open my mouth and start speaking. “Faye, I—the person I killed was my best friend.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” she asks, turning, her voice cracking on the last word.

Her skin is pale. Her expression is crushed.

“This whole time you’ve been seeing what I’ve been dealing with with Kurt.

You’ve seen how losing my brother hurt me.

And you’ve said nothing. Just held in this terrible secret. Why? I just don’t understand.”

I take a breath, terrified that I’m not going to get it out. “Please—” I say. “Please, just—just let me tell you. If you’re still mad, if you hate me, that’s fine. But please just let me explain.”

I watch her face, see her eyes travel, taking me in, and when she gives a small, curt nod, I almost crumble with relief. This is something. A chance to fix this.

“The man I killed,” I admit, pressing my lips together so I don’t cry, “he was—like I said—he was my best friend. I was the best man at his wedding. He found his mate so young, and they were beautiful together. But—but she was troubled. She didn’t think she deserved to have good things, and she—she?—”

The memories are flooding back, and it’s getting harder and harder to keep my voice level. I can’t stop thinking about Clara, and how scared she was, and how she was screaming, and how nobody was stepping in.

According to ancient pack laws, Draven had a right to take her life. Even though in his normal state he was a patient, kind, wonderful man who would never think of doing such a thing.

But I couldn’t stand watching an alpha hurt an omega like that. Especially knowing he was crazed—out of his mind.

“She cheated on him,” I finally manage to choke out, looking away from Faye when her eyes widen.

Cheating on a mate is practically unheard of—it can be painful to even attempt.

“And when he found out—he wasn’t himself.

He went rabid. He was beating her in front of everyone. It was—he was going to kill her.”

I take a breath, trying not to relive it, but it comes flooding back anyway. His eyes, bloodshot, wild, so unlike himself that I almost thought he was possessed. I had heard stories of what would happen if your mate died or betrayed you, but I didn’t believe them. Not until that moment.

“It wasn’t him,” I choke out, shaking my head, hating that tears are appearing in my eyes, even after all this time.

“It wasn’t him. He would have wanted me to stop him.

He loved Clara more than anything in the world.

I tried to just stop him, to not seriously injure him, but he was out of his mind.

Soon, it turned into a fight for my life.

I didn’t want to hurt him, but I did. And he died from his injuries.

I nearly died too.” I take a shuddering breath.

“Because of the old laws about—well, basically that it was his right to kill her—the pack elders cast me out. But I know he would have wanted me to stop him. If he’d regained control of himself and realized he’d killed her, he would have taken his own life immediately after.

And—well, two weeks later, Clara realized she was pregnant.

And it was his. He would’ve been glad she survived. Glad his child survived.”

Blinking away tears, I take another deep breath. I watch Faye’s expression, wondering what she’s thinking.

“I know taking a life is wrong,” I say, pushing the words out. “But if I could think of a different way to protect Clara, you have to know that I would have. I would have, Faye.”

I’d have done anything not to kill my best friend.

And I’d do anything now to not lose my mate, the woman I love more than anything in the world. Even though I might deserve it.