Page 17

That’s something I haven’t thought much about.

I’ve never seen myself as a mother. Probably because I’ve never seen myself as a wife or partner.

But when I picture a little one running around with Eli’s shock of white hair, Cayson’s smile, Ezra’s logic, Xander’s quiet intelligence, or Maverick’s sense of humor, I can’t say I don’t like the idea.

“Of course we’ll have children.” Eli laughs, giving me a bemused smirk. “We will have many, many children together, Faye. It’s only natural—and I want to have a big, happy family. I have the resources to support an infinite number of children, so why not fill our homes with laughter?”

I nod, trying to process that.

He sits a little straighter, his smile falling away. “I’m doing that thing I do again… being an ultima, saying how things will be without asking. Sorry, love. What I should’ve asked is if you want to have children.”

The question calms something inside of me that I didn’t even know was tense. “I think I do. I like the idea of it, but I'm still getting to know all of you. It’s a lot to process.”

“That’s understandable. There’s no rush.” He flashes me a smile. “Even though I’d love to have lots of kids.”

“Oh, good,” I say, heart skipping in my chest. Lots of kids. The idea still feels foreign to me, the idea of being a mother, and, all at once, I’m worried that I would make a terrible maternal figure. “I—well, did you have many siblings growing up?”

“No, just me,” Eli says, shaking his head.

“My father was an ultima, my mother an omega. I grew up mostly on Pack Iris lands, on my mother’s lands.

My father stepped in to run things, when necessary, but otherwise, our focus was on our estate and holdings.

I spent a lot of time traveling between different packs with my father, to learn the ways of the ultimas. ”

“Wow,” I say, picturing all the incredible places he must have seen. “I would like to travel some. I’ve only ever seen the mountains and here.”

He smiles, and his smile is breathtaking. “You are from Pack Ivory, correct?”

“Yes,” I say, clearing my throat and smiling as Eli dishes out food onto our plates. It smells delicious, and I take a small bite, nearly groaning as the meat melts in my mouth. “But I can’t say I’m that attached to my pack.”

He tilts his head, looking curious. “Why not?”

“Well…” I take a deep breath. It’s gotten easier and easier, sharing myself with my mates, but there is still the sting of the past when I have to explain it. “My parents died when I was very young.”

He looks troubled. “I’m so sorry for your loss, that can’t have been easy.”

I give an awkward smile. “One good thing about them dying when I was young is that I don’t really remember them, as sad as that might sound to say.”

“It makes complete sense,” he reassures me. “And then you at least had your brother, Miles, for a little while, right?”

“Yes,” I say, trying not to let the sadness take me over. “Until Kurt killed him in front of me. All to show off for his other alpha friends, to show them that Kurt could kill Miles.”

He already knew. The guys had told him, so that he was aware of what he was dealing with when he went to the ultimas, but I wonder how much of the story he knew. There were things only I could say.

“I see,” Eli says, his jaw ticking, his grasp on his fork tightening as he looks out, over the view from the balcony. “And what was he like, if you don’t mind me asking?”

What was he like? He was wonderful. That’s the simple truth of it all. Otherwise, losing him wouldn’t have hurt so bad.

“We were best friends,” I say quietly. “He was like my mom and my dad all rolled into one. Taught me how to hunt, how to forage, how to laugh and play. He was my whole world.”

His expression is gentle. “He sounds like a good man.”

“He was.”

“What do you miss the most about him?” he asks, taking a bite of his food.

I wrap my arms around myself. “I think… the way he made me feel. With him, I was safe. With him, the world wasn’t this big, scary place. But then when he was gone, I was just scared all the time.”

His gaze holds mine. “Well, I hope we can make you feel that way. If we can’t, we’ve failed as your mates.”

My words are easy to say. “I think all of you make me feel that way, but it still feels so fragile. Like I could lose you at any moment.”

His eyes say a thousand things that his words don’t. “You can never lose me. I’m in this thing for forever.”

Forever. I never really thought of anything as being forever. Not love. Not life. Nothing.

“So, everything is pretty much sorted,” I say, feeling relieved.

Eli tenses a little.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing,” he says.

But there’s something. “Eli?”

He sighs. “We still have to…well…we have to deal with Kurt and Dexter. As much as I want that to all be behind me, Dexter is coming to meet with the council. Once they hear your testimony, and mine, it won’t matter what he says. Still, it must be done.”

“Right,” I say, trying not to let the reminder bring me down.

Eli and I continue talking. He keeps the conversation lighter, asking about my interests, my favorite color, the foods I like to eat, etc. And, strangely, he really does seem interested in everything I have to say. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so important before.

We finish our meals and thank the servants, who suddenly appear. They clear our plates away then leave his room completely, giving us a little privacy to enjoy just being together. Which is strange. I never really thought about what it was like to just be with another person.

When the sun starts to fall lower in the sky, Eli clears his throat. “We should get you resting before dinner,” he says, standing and leading me inside. When we cross the threshold, he starts, reaching out and touching my sleeve. “I almost forgot to ask—how are your wounds healing?”

“Oh,” I say, blinking, having completely forgotten about them.

The pain is mostly gone, leaving behind aches and bruises. I tug on the sleeve of my dress, revealing the wound from where Kurt bit my shoulder.

Eli’s gaze turns stormy.

“I should have gotten to you sooner,” he says, his voice low.

“Without you,” I say, looking up at him and placing a hand on his chest, “I would not be here right now.”

“Still,” he grumbles.

“The ones on my stomach are healing nicely too,” I say, hoping this might brighten his mood.

I grab the skirts of my dress and haul them up, holding them with one hand.

I’m still wearing the tight black shorts underneath from the dressing game this morning, but Eli’s eyes widen when I expose my legs and stomach.

“See?” I say, voice a little strained when I see his eyes go dark, tracking my fingers as I graze over the scars and bruises near my belly button and hip.

“Oh, Faye,” he says, sinking to his knees. My heart doubles in size, surely beating loud enough for everyone in the castle to hear, as he leans forward and presses his lips to my stomach.

An ultima. Kneeling before me. Kissing my stomach.

He continues kissing my stomach, trailing up and up, then hesitating as my heart races. “You’re still injured.”

“Yes,” I whisper, breathless.

“But healing.”

“Yes.”

He presses his forehead to my stomach, breathing deeply. “I never want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” I tell him, stroking his hair.

He looks up at me. “You can’t imagine how good you smell. I’m trying to stay in control here, but my control is slipping in a way it never has before.”

I feel flushed. “Why do you have to stay in control?”

His eyes darken. “Faye, do you know what you’re saying?”

I hesitate, then nod.

His hands slide over my skin, and eventually, he takes the dress from me, pulling it up over my head.

It falls to the floor beside us, and then he rises to his feet.

His massive frame towering over my much smaller one.

He slants his lips over mine, one of his hands coming to the small of my back, the other resting gently on my hip.

We kiss slowly, unhurriedly, and it leaves my head spinning. There’s just something about Eli—a sense that he’s always in control, that he knows exactly what he’s doing—and it makes me feel weirdly safe with him.

His hands move, running up and down my sides. Over my little shorts. Over the straps of my bra. He seems like he wants to touch all of me, but doesn’t know where to start.

Unable to help myself, I grab the hem of his shirt and pull it off, causing us to break our kiss, then my hands go to his chest and run over his muscles, while he watches me with dark eyes. “You’re so… big,” I murmur.

I feel the shudder that moves through his body.

Continuing to touch him, I watch as he holds himself perfectly still, letting my fingers drag along the hard muscles on his chest and then his stomach. Touching such a big man like this makes me feel strangely in control. It’s something I surprisingly enjoy.

Hesitating, I undo the button on his pants and pull down his zipper. Eli remains completely still as I pull his pants down, help him kick his shoes off, and toss the pants across the floor. I kneel and look up, seeing that his briefs are tented by an enormous erection.

A shiver rolls down my spine. If the other men barely fit inside of me, how is it going to work with Eli? Surely he’s too big for any woman.

“Eli?” I whisper.

“Yes?” he asks, his voice husky.

“Are we going to… fit together?”

His chuckle is low and rolls over me, making my nipples hard. “We were made for each other. We’ll fit, but today you’ll lead the way. We won’t do anything you don’t want to do.”

I lick my lips, staring at his erection. “Do ultimas usually let their omegas lead the way?”

He cups my chin. “We decide how things work between us, no one else.”

His words make me feel calmer. Even safer.

I hook my fingers into his boxers and slowly pull them down until he pops free. Just the sight of him makes my mouth water, but I feel hesitant.