Page 95 of Claimed By the Rival Alpha

Guilt panged through my chest as my sentence trailed off.

I’d spent so long thinking about how I was going to get Tavi to stand by my side, but none of that mattered if I’d messed this up before I even knocked on her door.

How could I ask her to be my beta when I was so blind to what she wanted?

I wasn’t there for her when she needed me because I was off doing my own thing, and I didn’t even consider that she might have wanted me to visit her.

“Tavi,” I said, “I should have done a better job at reaching out to you. I hate that I’ve made you feel like I didn’t value you. I feel terrible about this.”

She was quiet for a few seconds, and then she said quietly, “Well…it’s not like I did a great job saying what I wanted.” She started to tug at and tear up the grass between us. “I guess I shouldn’t have expected you to know that I wanted to see you or that I missed you. You couldn’t have known.”

The guilt began to ease from my chest. That response made me feel better about asking her to be my beta.

“We can both be sorry about our miscommunication,” I said, “or we can promise to do a better job of it in the future.” Communication was going to be key to what I wanted to ask her. “How about I stop by more often and you can let me know if it’s a good time for you?”

“I’d like that,” she nodded. “But I…I could make more of an effort to see you, too.”

“I don’t want you to push yourself too much, Tavi. Was the reason you didn’t want to walk through the compound because you didn’t want to see Tyrell or the other men?”

“That was…one of the reasons. I’m okay with walking around with other people, but I hate doing it by myself.”

“I don’t blame you—I feel that way, too. What was the other reason?”

She went quiet, and this time, I got the sense that she really didn’t want to talk about her reasoning any further. I wouldn’t push her about it.

“Well, whatever your reasons, I’m glad you’re willing to spend time with me a bit more,” I said. “That makes me really, really happy.”

“I’m glad you still want to spend time with me, too.” It almost sounded like there was a smile in her voice, but I didn’t look to confirm. “So, um, what did you want to talk about?” she asked.

“I…wanted to let you know before I announce it later tonight,” I said. “I want you to be my beta.”

She gasped and sat up. She looked down at me, grass still clinging to her hair. “Me?”

“Yes, you.” I grinned. It was obvious how badly she wanted it. “You’re my best friend, Tavi, so of course you’re the only person I could even consider for the job.”

“But—” Her face fell, and she looked away. “I can’t do it.”

I sat up on my elbows. “Why not?”

“Because I’m not…” she trembled as she searched for the right word, “good anymore. I can’t do any of the things a beta does—”

“That’s not true!” Interrupting her wasn’t part of the plan, but Tavi was saying things about herself that I couldn’t let slide.

“What does a beta do? They watch over and counsel the Alpha, they protect the Alpha and the pack, and they can step in if ever the Alpha isn’t capable of serving.

They have to be someone the Alpha can trust implicitly.

We just talked about how much I appreciated you when we talked to Tyrell. ”

She looked away, so I went on.

“Tavi, remember that you sought me out when I was staying at Violet’s cabin. You protected me and watched over me when I was getting to know the other Wargs. You always made time for me, even though we hadn’t known each other very long. When we were captured by Troy, you were the strong one, you—”

“Stop!” Her voice became a sharp growl as her teeth sharpened to wolf points. “I said I can’t do it!”

I flinched despite myself.

As the echo of her words launched birds into flight, she put her hands to her face, her shoulders shaking.

I reached for her, but the moment my hand touched her shoulder, she flinched away. “Tavi—”

“See, Bryn?” she said. “I can’t even have a conversation like a normal person.

How the fuck could I protect you from anything when you had to step in when I pissed off that asshole at Tyrell’s cabin?

” She shook her head. “How could I give you any advice when I snap at you like that?” Tears poured down her reddened cheeks, and her eyes glowed as she looked at me beseechingly. “I’m no good anymore.”

“Tavi, you are!”

But she shook her head and got to her feet. “Frankie would be a better choice. She’s strong and capable. Or, hell, even your mother would be a good option. Who would stop you?”

I hopped to my feet as Tavi turned her back to me.

My instincts were telling me that at any moment, she would bolt for the trees.

There was no telling whether she would head back to the Kings’ compound or to the Wargs’ compound or if she would just go into the forest and I would never see her again. I couldn’t let that happen.

When her muscles tensed to run, I jumped on her back, wrapping my legs and arms around her and holding fast. She stumbled under my weight, but she was stronger and larger than me so she quickly regained her balance.

“Get off!” She clawed at my arm. It hurt, but the scratches weren’t deep; they’d heal without a scar before I met with the Elders.

She tried to buck me off, but I held fast. If she really wanted to, she could throw me to the trees or claw through skin and muscle down to my arms, but she didn’t do either of those things.

Instead, she yelled and scratched and jerked around, but because she didn’t want to really injure me; that was as far as her attempts went.

After a little while of this, the fight left her. She stumbled until her shoulder hit one of the trees, and her body shook. “Bryn, please…” she said through a warbling voice. “Please.”

I slowly let her go. When my feet hit the ground, I took a step back, tears filling my own eyes. “I—I’m sorry, Tavi. I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that, but I couldn’t think of anything—”

Tavi turned to me and wrapped her arms around my neck.

She held me tightly and buried her face in my shoulder.

She let out these long, heartbreaking sobs, her tears soaking into the shoulder of my shirt.

I held her back just as fiercely, gripping handfuls of her shirt, letting her cry as long and as hard as she wanted.

When her body-quaking sobs finally subsided, she stepped back, wiping her face with her sleeves. The left side of my shirt was damp with tears, but that didn’t matter to me. All I cared about was making sure that she was okay.

“Screw whatever I thought before,” I said, rage quickly replacing my sorrow. “If those assholes are still fucking with you, I’ll send all of the men who helped Troy down in the cells with him. I don’t care what the pack has to say or who it is—”

“No!” She shook her head, spraying tears. “Don’t do that.”

“Why not?” I demanded.

“Because you’ll hurt your image!” she cried.

“You’re already on thin enough ice as it is, and…

and anyway, it won’t make me feel better, Bryn.

If you do that, whatever you hoped to accomplish at the meeting with the council will fail, and…

and these Kings will hate you even more, and I-I won’t have that o-on my conscience! ”

It’s worth all of that if I can make your hurt go away! But I bit back what I wanted to tell her. I wasn’t thinking; it wasn’t my place to make her feel any responsibility or guilt or whatever. I couldn’t put that on her shoulders.

“Tavi,” I began, my voice a bit raspy, “what did they do to you?”

She shook her head, still wiping tears. “I’m not—not ready to s-say,” she said through hiccups. “It was awful, but I just can’t.”

I nodded. “I won’t ask you anything more about it. I want to be here for you, I want to lend an ear when you need it, but I will never, ever make you talk about whatever it was.” I clenched my hands when they trembled. “I’m sorry I said all that stuff about imprisoning those men. I just—”

“No, no, it’s okay.” She lowered her sleeves and looked at me. “It makes me a little happy to know that you would risk so much just for me.”

She gave a smile, and even though her eyes were still filled with tears, a tiny bit of the light had returned to her eyes.

She wasn’t the old Tavi, and maybe whatever happened to her would prevent her from turning back into the endlessly cheerful woman I had always known her to be.

But I still loved her dearly, and any sign of improvement, any sign that she was clawing her way back to some kind of “normal” or at least “stable” was more than enough for me.

“Is that weird to say?” she asked when I didn’t respond.

“N-no, not at all!” I rushed to assure her. “It’s just nice to see you smile.”

She let out a brief laugh. “Thanks, Bryn.”

“Anytime, Tavi.” I reached for her hand, and she let me take it. I squeezed it gently. “I hope this doesn’t come off as insensitive, but I’m even more sure now that I want you as my beta.”

She frowned. “What? Why?”

“Because even when you were dealing with the worst of your emotions and you were trying to get me to let you go, you didn’t hurt me.

And even a minute ago, when you were crying and I was saying all that dumb stuff, you didn’t want me to imprison Troy’s closest people.

You were thinking of what was best for me even when you were hurting.

” I squeezed her hand again. “Can’t you see?

You are the best choice for my beta, Tavi. I trust you more than I trust myself.”

She bit her lip. With her cheeks still red from crying and her face totally free of makeup, the vulnerability in her face as she looked at me made me want to start crying all over again.

“Even now?” she asked.

“Yes. Even now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Tavi, I am positive.” I beamed at her, willing her to see just how deeply I meant that. I knew she wanted the position as much as I knew that Night loved me, but self-doubt was holding her back from saying yes.

She deliberated for a few moments more, and then she nodded. “It’s only for a few weeks, right?”

“Right!”

“Okay, then…okay. I can do it. But at the first sign that I’m shirking my duties, I want you to replace me or get Frankie or Violet or—”

“Tavi, okay, okay.” I laughed. “Even if that does happen, we’ll have a backup plan in place. I won’t make you do anything you can’t do.”

“Right.” She nodded and seemed to steel herself. “Thank you for talking to me, Bryn. You’re my best friend, too, and…and I trust you.”

Those words swirled around and around in my heart, warming me from the inside out.

I pulled her in for another, gentler hug, and she hugged me back.

For just those moments, I could forget that I was about to become the temporary Alpha of the Kings.

As far as I was concerned, it was just me and my dearest friend, and the rest of the world could wait a while for us to finish our hug.