Page 56 of Claimed By the Rival Alpha

We sat next to each other at his dining table to enjoy the assorted dishes he had retrieved from the mess hall.

There had been some extra sausage links and pancakes from breakfast, but the cooks on duty had also begun to prepare chicken potpie.

Though it was technically against the rules for them to serve lunch so early, everyone was all smiles and eager to please us, according to Night.

“Why’s that?” I asked around a mouthful of pancake. “Did you exert your Alpha privileges?”

He smiled and brushed a stray crumb from my cheek, sending goosebumps down my back. His touch had been so heated in the shower, but now it was feather-light. Almost not there at all. “No,” he replied. “It’s because they know you and I are together.”

“Oh, I see.” Now that I possessed the heightened senses of a shifter, it should have been obvious to me that they would be able to tell just from being near him. It made me feel so wonderful to know that the others accepted our relationship. That I belonged.

Amusement shone in his eyes as he gazed at me, watching me eat. “Dom gave me shit the minute he saw me.”

“What did he say?”

“Damn, Night, I could smell you coming a mile away.” Night’s impression of his beta was surprisingly spot on; he managed to match not only the easy cadence in which Dom spoke but also the way his voice rose and fell when he was teasing someone or being sarcastic. I laughed.

Night chuckled too. “Tavi was there, of course, and she was practically in tears, she was so happy.”

“Can you do an impression of her too?”

Night gave me a look. “I don’t know if anyone could do an impression of that girl. She talks way too fast.”

“Let me see…” I drank some water and cleared my throat. I tried to replicate the smooth, almost melodic way that Tavi’s voice sounded when she was really deep into a story as I said, “Night gave me so much shit when we were kids about being a late shifter—”

I stopped when Night leaned back in his seat and laughed, his hand on his chest. It was wonderful to hear him laugh so hard. The sound of it filled my heart and made my wolf’s tail wag from side to side.

“Did I pull it off?” I asked, grinning.

“It was pretty good,” Night said, still chuckling as he ran a hand through his hair. “But I’m more surprised that she told you about that at all.”

“It was because I told her about Pax’s problem,” I said. “Though, I guess if anyone’s a late shifter, it’s me.”

“Oh, that’s true, isn’t it?” He reached for my chair and pulled me closer to him so he could press his nose into my hair, still damp from the shower.

“I know that the Elders and my mom put a lot on you this morning,” he said.

“I don’t want you to be scared about magic or pack mothers or fate right now. That’s not our priority.”

I shivered at his closeness and pressed closer to him. “Then what is?”

“You.” He kissed my temple. “Us.” My cheek. “And your wolf.” My jaw. “I want to help you get more comfortable shifting and more in touch with your wolf.”

“Okay,” I breathed, my heart quickening. “I think I can focus on those things for now…as long as I’ve got you to help me.”

“You’ve got me for as long as you want me.” He kissed my jaw again, nibbling at my skin and making me giggle.

I pulled away so I could look into his eyes.

He smiled at me, and my heart sang. “What is it, beautiful?”

“I want you forever,” I said and sealed those words with a kiss.

Two days passed, and I hardly left Night’s cabin. Part of it was because of the mind-blowing, delicious sex and the fact that I couldn’t stand the idea of him being more than a few feet away from me. The other part of it was that I still hadn’t mastered how to shift at will.

“I’m sorry,” Night told me, “I don’t want you to think I’m trying to lock you up again. I just don’t think it’s safe to walk around before we’re sure that you could shift or stop a shift at will.”

I nodded. This was nothing like when he’d first brought me here as his prisoner.

Unlike before, I wasn’t bound to just a single room in his cabin; I could walk from room to room, and I could go to Violet’s cabin and help in the garden when Night was called away.

I knew that he wasn’t doing it to punish me; when I had more control, I could go back to my normal schedule.

I just needed to get the hang of this shifter thing and my wolf.

When I shifted the first time, I had been having a strange, terrible dream.

All I could remember of it was that I had been overcome with fear of…

something, and then the shift just sort of happened to me.

I had no idea how to do it again intentionally.

Night and I were in his room, and I was sitting cross-legged on the bed.

It was late, almost eleven o’clock, but I wasn’t feeling sleepy.

Night stood over me and rubbed a puzzled hand over the stubble that had grown along his jaw.

He hadn’t shaved that morning, not that I minded.

It added an extra element of roughness and texture to our lovemaking.

“You’re not in sync with your wolf,” he explained. “I think that might be the problem.”

“Oh?” The slight purr in my voice caused his eyes to flash to mine. A smirk played on his soft lips, and my heartbeat quickened in my chest.

“Not now, Bryn. We need to focus, remember?”

“Sorry, sorry. You were saying—I need to get in touch with my wolf?”

“Yeah, you can think of it that way. You mentioned that it was difficult for you to know what she’s thinking or what she wants.”

Except when it comes to you, I thought. We’re in agreement about how badly we want you.

“I want you to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and reach out to her,” he said. “When you find her, don’t be afraid to let her in and to make her an equal in your mind. You have to let her know that you trust her. Don’t be scared. I’ll be here with you the entire time.”

I nodded and closed my eyes. I tried to push out my noisy thoughts—especially the horny ones about Night—and reach out for my wolf.

It didn’t take long to find her; she rushed up to me, panting hard, as though she were just as eager to get to know me.

It was a bit startling at first, how quickly my wolf responded, but I tried not to flinch or turn away.

I took a few deep breaths to relax, and then I opened myself up to my wolf.

She purred in response, and I smiled. She was like the presence of a dear friend in my mind, like a warm memory.

Though the process was a bit intimidating at first, I found I liked leaving myself open to my wolf, who already felt so familiar to me even though I’d only known her for a short time.

Violet came by a little while after that because she had a bit more information about my sudden shift. She’d been convening with the Elders and reaching out to the spirits every day.

“The Elders believe that your wolf was trapped deep inside of you, Bryn,” Violet said.

The three of us sat on Night’s couch. He sat on the armrest next to me while Violet and I sat on the cushions beside each other.

“The spirits tell me that your birth mother, the pack mother, was murdered the day you were born, and you were ripped from her womb. The murderer abandoned you to die, but then your wolf mother, Glenda, found you.”

I let the news wash over me. I had never wondered if my birth mother was still alive. I think some part of me had always known that she wasn’t around anymore. But to hear it confirmed, to know that there was no chance that I would ever see her again, brought a small lump to my throat.

“After such a terrible trauma, your wolf tried to protect you from the pain, shielding you from it so efficiently that she was lost deep in your mind, unable to surface until your heart had healed from the damage it suffered.”

I hadn’t even known my heart was so badly hurt.

I turned to look at Night. His eyes were intent on me, concern in the slight frown on his lips.

He touched my cheek, his calloused fingers gentle across my skin.

I leaned into his touch, my heart fluttering in my chest. I knew that choosing to trust him and give myself to him completely was exactly what my wolf needed to find her way back from the recesses of my mind.

“I’m sorry that there wasn’t a better way to tell you all of that, Bryn,” Violet said. “I know you must have so much on your mind.”

“I do,” I said. “It’s a little intimidating to hear all of this, to know that my birth mother was actually the last pack mother. But I think I’ll be okay.” I looked again at Night and smiled. The slight frown on his lips disappeared, and he smiled back at me.

Violet smiled too and pushed herself away from the table. “I think it’s best if I give you some time to digest all of this. If you have any questions, Bryn, you know where to find me when you need me.”

“Yes. Thank you so much, Violet. It means everything that you’re working on this for me.”

She gave me a tight hug and then left.

“Your wolf was so strong to keep you safe for so long,” Night said.

I nodded. My wolf purred low in appreciation of his praise. “I think I want to talk to her about all this. My wolf, I mean. I had no idea she was with me all this time.”

“I understand.” He kissed the top of my head. “I’ll make you some tea.”

“That sounds wonderful.”

I walked outside to sit in the grass. I was in jeans and a light t-shirt, but thanks to my newfound shifter warmth, I barely registered the cool midnight air. I tried to focus my energy inward. I wanted to try talking to my wolf again to bridge the gap that prevented us from becoming whole.

Hey, I tried to call. Are you there?

It was a silly question, and my wolf’s answering snuffle told me as much. I smiled. It was already getting easier to understand her, though there was still some distance between us.

I wanted to thank you for what you did for me, I said to her. I had no idea you had been protecting me this whole time—that you loved me even when the person who killed our mother left us to die.

She whined softly.

Night tells me that you’re beautiful and powerful and strong, I told her. And I know now that you helped me survive all the stress and angst that we suffered over the last month. You helped me to be brave.

My wolf did nothing, just waited with her head cocked to hear the rest of what I had to say.

I think that’s why I feel connected to you, because you’ve been with me all this time.

And I know that because I have you, we’ll be able to face whatever fate has in store for us.

Tears pushed at the back of my eyes as I added, I’m so grateful to have you—to be a shifter.

But I know there’s a lot that I need to learn about treating you properly and being comfortable in my skin.

After everything you’ve done for me, I can only hope that I make a good partner to you…

She howled and ran to join with me. I gasped out loud as we became one, and my body began to change.

In the few seconds it took for me to shift, I realized that there was another reason my wolf and I had been out of sync.

As awkward as I was about shifting, my wolf had been scared that I would hate her.

She believed it was her fault that I had suffered so much in the Kings’ pack, that in shielding my mind, she had also cut me off from the strength I needed to protect myself from Troy and the Terrible T’s.

That’s so silly, I thought as the shift completed. How could I hate the wolf that sacrificed so much to keep me safe?

My wolf tapped her front paws in the grass and turned in a circle, a kind of happy dance that made me laugh.

Behind me, I heard Night suck in a deep breath. He looked different through the eyes of my wolf. He was still gorgeous, perfect, and mine, but there was something else too. He was surrounded by warm light, a halo that brought him into glorious, wonderful focus.

Mate. My wolf’s voice was clear as a bell to me.

She said it again, louder, and I wondered if it was true.

If he was my true mate, then it made sense that even when we had tried to hate each other, it was impossible for us to stay away from each other—impossible not to feel something when in each other’s presence.

And it explained how desperately we needed to touch and to be close.

It made so much sense, and yet not all the pieces fit into place.

If we were mates, why hadn’t he claimed me?

Why wasn’t he shifting to be with me now?

He could have bitten me that first night, or any of the other times we had made love.

My wolf whined, shaking her head. She was thinking the same thing.

Why hadn’t Night claimed us officially? Was it because he didn’t want us forever?

My wolf sat as Night set down the tea and approached me. My wolf and I watched him kneel in front of me, our chest filled with equal parts sorrow and love. Night smiled at me, running his hands over our body. It felt like magic the way his fingers parted our fur and scratched behind our ears.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he murmured, continuing to stroke me. “How did I get so lucky to have someone like you at my side? Hm?”

His compliments were sweet, and his praise was even sweeter, but they fell on sad, doleful ears.

He didn’t say he loved me, and he didn’t shift to be with me.

He didn’t call me his mate. I felt so confused as the hurt settled in.

Had I misunderstood my wolf? But no. The ache in my wolf’s chest mirrored mine.

Night tilted his head, sensing something. “You okay, Bryn?” he asked, scratching under my chin.

We couldn’t respond. Had I jumped into things too fast? Had we given ourselves to him too quickly? What had I done wrong? I ached deep inside as my sadness and my wolf’s combined.

Night Shepherd had rejected the mate claim every time he’d had the chance to complete it. That meant that he didn’t love me the way I loved him.