Page 160 of Claimed By the Rival Alpha

brYN

The day before the alpha challenge, I found it almost impossible to concentrate on anything. When I tried to read something, the words blurred together and stopped making sense. I read the same sentences over and over, but I still felt so lost.

I only trusted myself to sign rote documents, things I was familiar with and had signed before. But other than those documents, the day was a wash. I couldn’t do anything useful.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I left my office and went for a walk.

It was my last full day as alpha, and I wanted to stroll through the compound while I still had the authority to do so.

I thought about asking Tavi to walk with me, but a sudden burst of nausea sent me stumbling to the trees.

I straightened and swiped the back of my hand across my mouth. Great. My last day as alpha included me throwing up into a bush. How typical. At least this time, it wasn’t as violent or noisy.

“Thanks for meeting me out here, Tavi.”

My ears perked at the mention of my beta’s name and the familiar voice who’d spoken it.

I looked up, and sure enough, I spotted Dom’s wheat-blond hair through the foliage.

I knew I ought to mind my business and give them the privacy they deserved, but my curiosity got the better of me.

I crept slowly toward where they stood, moving just close enough to see their faces through the leaves.

“It was no trouble,” she replied with a slight smile. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Well…” He rubbed the back of his head with his hand, tussling his silky hair. “I wanted to talk about you, actually.”

“M-me?” She touched her chest, her fingers jostling the zipper of her sweatshirt. “Why?”

“I don’t want you to think I’m trying to pressure you into spending more time with me, or I don’t respect your need for space,” he said. “I care about you a lot, Tav, and I would do anything to make sure you’re safe and happy.”

I held my breath, waiting for Dom to confess his feelings for her. I felt sure Tavi was also holding her breath.

“I need to be honest with you about the way you make me feel. I used to think my feelings for you were what a brother feels for his sister, but they’re different than that. I—”

Tavi raised her hand, and Dom’s mouth shut immediately. My eyes widened; not even Night could shut Dom up so quickly.

“I…” she hesitated, rethought what she wanted to say, and began again, “Dom, I’m not sure what you’re about to say, but if you’re going to tell me what I think you’re going to tell me, I want you to know that I don’t think I’m ready.”

He gazed at her as her words sunk in. “What do you think I’m going to say?”

“I-I think you’re about to tell me that you, uh—” Her face went bright red, and she busied herself by gathering her dark hair over her shoulder.

“That I like you,” he finished gently. “That I care about you. That I’m ready to be more than friends with you…whenever you’re ready to let me in.”

My heart raced hard against my sternum. Each second I waited for her response was a second that seemed to stretch for eons.

“You have to understand,” she finally replied, “I can’t make you wait until I’m ready to be the woman you need, Dom.

It could take months. Years, even. You are such a wonderful man—” Her voice broke, and she cleared her throat.

“You could have any woman you want. There are so many beautiful women out there who can take care of you. I’m just not…

I don’t know if I can be a normal mate for you.

I can’t ask that of you. You deserve someone more…

” She struggled for words, and then her shoulders fell as she gave up, sighing. “Someone more.”

“I feel that way, too,” he said gently. “Even now, I’m worried that all I’m doing is putting more strain on you by telling you this.

It drives me wild that I can’t tell if this is hurting you or helping you.

If I were a better man—a stronger man—maybe I could be more patient. Maybe I’d know exactly what you need.”

She shook her head. “You’re the most amazing person I know.”

“And you’re the most incredible person I know,” he said with a chuckle.

I could see how badly they wanted to touch as they leaned toward each other. But they held back, as though going that far would somehow ruin the progress they’d made. It made my chest ache for them.

“I’m willing to wait however long, Tav. Even if that means we’re tired and gray and reminding each other about the good days of our youth.”

“If you change your mind—”

“I won’t.”

The interruption made the corners of her mouth quirk into a smile. “If you change your mind, I won’t hold it against you.”

“That won’t happen,” he said again. “But thanks for that.”

Her smile widened, and then she hesitated, her lips pursed. After a few seconds, she stood on her tiptoes and gently kissed his cheek. And after a second, she pressed another kiss to his lips.

I nearly gasped. OhmygoshTavi! My thoughts went wild as Dom’s arms gently—so, so gently!—wrapped around her waist.

I needed to get out of there. I had no idea how far things were about to go, but I didn’t want to eavesdrop further.

I inched backward, trying to go as silently as I’d come, but a twig snapped under my foot, making me gasp.

I froze, waited a few beats, and tried to move more carefully out of the forest.

I returned to the cabin as quickly as I could without raising suspicion.

I rinsed the lingering bitterness of vomit out of my mouth and went to the office.

What I wanted to do now was lay low and throw myself full force into my work.

I’d seen something between Tavi and Dom, but they had been too busy with each other to notice my quick exit.

That’s what I’d thought, but Tavi walked into the office minutes later.

“H-hi, Tavi.” I cursed myself for stuttering. If it wasn’t obvious that I’d been eavesdropping, it was now.

"How much did you hear?”

After a few moments of hesitation, I replied, “All of it, I think.”

“Oh.”

It felt like Tavi was saying a lot with that response, but I couldn’t tell if the emotion conveyed was negative or positive.

“I’m sorry, Tavi, I didn’t mean to overhear or to stay as long as I did. Yes, I was eavesdropping, but I’ve been so worried about you, and I wanted to make sure…” I trailed off when tears started pouring down Tavi’s cheeks and off the end of her chin.

“Do you think I made a mistake?” she sobbed.

“Oh, Tavi, no…” I went to her and wrapped her up in a hug. Her shoulders were trembling, and the shoulder of my dress became soaked the moment her face hit it. Her arms wrapped around my waist as she clung to me.

“H-he told me that he likes me—maybe even loves me,” she whispered through short, hiccupping gasps. “And I kissed him, but I couldn’t…I mean, I shouldn’t have done it. Not when I know I’m not ready to be that for him.”

“I know, Tavi, I know.” I rubbed and patted her back. “You haven’t done anything wrong, and you haven’t messed anything up. You told him you feel the same way, didn’t you?”

She sniffled and nodded. “But I shouldn’t have said that.

I should have told him I couldn’t see him as anything more than a brother.

He deserves someone who can give him what he needs and be there for him in all the ways he needs her to be.

And I don’t know if I’ll ever feel right enough to let a man get close to me like that. ”

“Tavi…”

“I’m not good enough for him.”

“Don’t.” I pushed her back so I could look into her dark, doleful eyes. “You can’t think that way, Tavi. You are so strong and intelligent and beautiful. Any man worth his fur would be lucky if you even looked his way.”

“That’s the old me,” she spat bitterly. “The one who hadn’t been ruined—”

Dread held me fast with its icy claws. Suddenly, the question that had always lingered at the back of my mind when I thought of Octavia rushed to the forefront. I had to ask, to confirm the terrible fear I’d been too terrified to think about. “Tavi, what did those wolves do to you?”

She closed her eyes briefly, and a bone-deep shudder traveled through her body and into mine. When she opened them again, I had my answer.

I pulled her against me again, hugging her even more fiercely. My wolf was growling, her rage just as complete as mine. “I’m sorry, Octavia.” My voice was a rasping whisper. “I should have had them locked up with Troy. Or killed.”

“I know you would’ve. If I’d asked that from you, or if I’d told you the truth sooner, maybe they would still be in prison. Maybe they wouldn’t have been able to break Troy out.”

“No.” I gave a vehement shake of my head. “That is not your fault. There’s no time limit on when you feel comfortable telling someone about this. You have done nothing wrong. Do you hear me?” Tears burned behind my eyes. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

She wept against my shoulder, and we sank to the floor, clinging to each other. I didn’t know how long we stayed locked together on the floor, but eventually, the tears slowed, and Tavi’s breathing no longer came in such quick, desperate pants.

“Don’t tell Dom or Night,” she whispered. “Please. You’re the only one I’ve talked to about this. I think Violet has a pretty good idea, but I haven’t…you know…”

Now that she was calmer, I risked pulling back a second time so I could look at her. “Of course. I understand. This doesn’t leave this room. I swear on my life.”

She nodded and let me go so she could run the backs of her hands over her wet eyes. We were sitting close to the desk, so I reached up to grab one of the tissue boxes. My legs ached from being on the floor, but I could endure much more than slight discomfort for Tavi.

She blew her nose. “I can’t ask Dom to wait for me,” she murmured. “What if I’m never ready to be his mate?”

“Then you and he can stay friends.” I pushed her hair behind her ear. “But he did say that he’s willing to wait for you. I believe he meant it.”

“But he could change his mind. He could find another woman he wants to be with. His soulmate could be out there waiting for him.”

“I think it’s safe to put a little faith in him, isn’t it?”

She shivered, then nodded almost imperceptibly.

“There’s so much going on right now. All you can do is take things one day at a time,” I told her. “That’s all anyone can ask of you. It’s okay not to have an answer for this.”

She nodded, took a deep breath, and then nodded again. “Okay.” She sighed. “Okay.” She blew her nose again, then wiped her face. “Thanks, Bryn.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” I smiled. “This is the least I can do for you.”

She returned my smile, then pulled me in for another hug. I didn’t know what the future held for Dom and Tavi, but something told me I should follow my own advice and not worry too much about it. Things would work out the way they were meant to, and as long as they were happy, I would be, too.

But now I was even more desperate to find Troy, Samson, and Harlon. I wanted them to pay dearly for what they’d done. I wanted to make sure they spent every day of their lives cursing the day they touched my best friend.