Page 22

CHAPTER 22

E dwin coughed as he sat up in the creaky bed. The bed was quite uncomfortable, but it was the only thing he could get.

His head pounded like a war drum, and the sunlight streaming in through the window only worsened it.

He rose to his feet and made to draw the curtain to block the sun’s torturous glare. However, before he could get to the window, he stepped on something and nearly fell.

He swore under his breath as he held on to the wall to steady himself. He peered closely at the object that had tripped him and found it was a bottle.

Memories of the previous night came flooding back. Images of him downing drink after drink, even long after Magnus had left.

He shook the memories off and finally drew the curtain.

His head did not stop pounding. However, he could now suffer in a darkened room instead of dealing with the glaring sun.

He sighed in relief as he returned to the bed, his body sinking into the flimsy straw he had lain on the whole night. This uncomfortable sleeping situation was a far cry from the luxury he was used to in his house. But he could not quite complain—this was his punishment.

More memories of Ava flashed through his mind. The expectant look on her face when she had lifted her hand to his mask. The flicker of hurt in her eyes when he had pulled away. The tears welling up in her eyes when he had left her room.

His mind screamed at him. He was a fool; there was no doubt about it. How could he have allowed himself to hurt the one woman he truly cared for?

Suddenly, his stomach growled. He could not quite remember the last time he had eaten.

After his rather shameful retreat from his wife’s bedchamber, he had been unable to bear the pain he had caused, and in that flurry of emotions, he had packed a few clothes and left for Magnus’s gambling hell.

But he had begun to regret his decision as soon as his carriage took off. The loud and rowdy gambling hell was the last place he wanted to be after leaving his wife. However, he did not have a lot of options.

He could not go to William’s house, since his wife was Ava’s sister. And he could not go to Theo’s because, even though his friend was a bachelor and would have a spare bedchamber for him, the man would simply bombard him with questions.

What Edwin had needed more than anything was silence and solitude.

Thankfully, Magnus has been gracious enough to let him use one of the spare rooms in the establishment. His friend had not even asked him why he had turned up there so late at night.

However, now that it was morning and he had woken up in a dingy room with a sore back, he began to realize just how foolhardy his decision had been.

He needed to return home. He needed to return to his wife. And yet the more he thought about it, the more he realized that Ava was better off without him.

How could he possibly face her after the way he had left? Moreover, seeing him would only cause her more hurt and pain.

He groaned as he lay back on the uncomfortable bed. He would simply stay there as long as he could. He could not return home, not yet.

The door to the room suddenly slammed open, and he bolted upright. His head was now spinning from the constant movement.

Magnus walked in, bearing a breakfast tray. Edwin’s mouth immediately watered at the sight of food, and his stomach growled even louder. The last time he had eaten was the previous morning.

His friend set the tray in front of him, and Edwin only acknowledged him with a nod before he dug in.

It was not until he had filled his stomach that he finally spoke. “Thank you, Blackmore. I was simply starving.”

Magnus, who was now sitting on a couch opposite him, nodded. “What happened to you?”

Edwin only shrugged. How could he tell his friend that he had run away from home because he had hurt his wife?

“You know you can talk to me, Gillingham. I know you, and I know it is quite out of character for you to leave your home and set up camp in a gambling hell. Especially when you have a wife at home.”

Edwin sighed. Magnus was right; his friends were the only people he could open up to.

“I am afraid I hurt Ava,” he confessed.

Magnus furrowed his brow in confusion.

Of course, his friend did not understand. He was an unmarried man who had never fallen in love before.

“I am far too dangerous for her. I could not live with myself if I harmed her.”

“Gillingham, you could never hurt your wife,” Magnus said. “I know how much you have come to care for Ava.”

“She wanted to see my face, and I could not even let her.” Edwin hung his head.

“I know how frightening it must be for you,” Magnus said softly, “but you must let her see your face. It is the only way she can fully trust you.”

Edwin shook his head. “I simply cannot. What if my scars scare her? What if she cannot love me after seeing them?”

“You are being ridiculous, Edwin,” Magnus scoffed. “You might as well have no face, and Ava would still love you. How can you not see it? No scar would deter her.”

Edwin’s heart skipped a beat. “Is that so?”

“If only you could see how she looked at you when we visited.”

Magnus’s words warmed his heart.

Perhaps I have been too worried for nothing.

But even though his friend’s words reassured him, he could not help the doubt that crept into his mind.

“I do not deserve her,” he murmured.

Even if she accepted his scars, he still could not shake off the feeling that he did not deserve her.

“Why don’t you let Ava decide that for herself? Do you not see how cruel you are being to her?”

Cruel?

“You are not even giving her the chance to see you, truly and wholly. You assume that she would not want to be with you if she saw all of you, and yet you do not give her the chance to truly see you.”

Edwin swallowed as he pondered his friend’s words. He frowned as he realized with a pang that Magnus was right.

“I will think it over, Magnus,” he lied.

He was not quite ready to face the hard truth.

“Now,” Magnus said as he straightened up on the couch, “I have information that you may find useful.”

Edwin furrowed his brow. “Is it about Wilbury and?—”

“And your mother, yes. My men reported that she threw him out into the streets in the full view of everyone on the same day you paid her a visit.”

“Is that so?” Edwin was taken aback.

“Seems your mother was serious when she claimed she would cut him off,” Magnus said.

“Good for her,” Edwin muttered. “A man as dangerous as him may harm her, after all.”

“At least, now you can rest assured that your mother did not know anything about the attack.”

“It doesn’t mean anything.” Edwin shrugged. “Now, what do we have on Wilbury? He is the culprit, after all.”

Magnus shook his head. “I am sorry, Edwin, but no matter how hard my men tried, they could not find any evidence that links him to the attack.”

Edwin had expected this. He knew it would not be easy to tie Lord Wilbury to the attack. After all, the man had not been foolish enough to attack him.

“If Wilbury is to be punished for what he has done, then we need irrefutable evidence,” Edwin insisted.

“Well, I have some information that might help.”

“Do tell.”

“It may not seem much, but Wilbury has not been stable since your mother threw him out.”

Edwin’s eyebrows rose. “Is that so?”

“Yes. In fact, he has been acting rather recklessly around town. He was thrown out of two gambling hells yesterday because he attacked other patrons after getting drunk.”

Edwin was confused. “Aside from the fact that the man is ruining his reputation, I do not quite see how this benefits me.”

“How can you not see it?” Magnus asked, grinning. “If he continues to act so recklessly, then it is only a matter of time before he slips up.”

Edwin nodded as a smile crept onto his face. For the first time in a long while, he could see an end to this ordeal.

“You are right. If he gets drunk enough, he may cause more trouble—or, even better, reveal that he had orchestrated the attack.”

“Or he may attack you himself. In that case, it would be easier to link him to the attack.”

“Now, I would love to see him try and attack me,” Edwin scoffed, cracking his knuckles.

If the Earl dared to attack him, he would be all too happy to put him in his place right before he threw him behind bars.

“Now, this may pose more problems than it is worth, because what if he attacks the wrong person in a bid to attack you?” Magnus pointed out.

Something about his quizzical look jolted Edwin back to the present. He had been so focused on catching Wilbury that he forgot his biggest concern.

Ava.

His heart sank. “What if Wilbury attacks her?”

“I am afraid that might happen,” Magnus cautioned. “The man is rather mentally unstable at the moment.”

“I must protect her!” Edwin jumped to his feet and began scrambling around, looking for his coat and shoes.

How could he have been so foolish?

“Edwin. Edwin!” Magnus called as he rose from the couch. “You do not have to panic, I assure you.”

Edwin shook his head frantically. “But you do not know that. You have said it yourself—Wilbury is unpredictable.”

“That does not mean that he will attack your wife. In fact, he would be foolish to do that.”

“And yet we both know that he is capable of doing it. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to Ava.” Edwin’s hands shook as he tried to button up his shirt, and his stomach churned.

“I assure you, Edwin, nothing will happen to her,” Magnus insisted, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Your estate is secure, is it not? Wilbury would have to fight off your footmen before he could get to Ava.”

For the first time, Edwin felt a semblance of peace.

Magnus was right. It would not be so easy for Wilbury to attack Ava in the estate, especially not in full view of the servants.

“You are right. Ava is safe in the est—Oh no.” Edwin’s eyes widened with fear.

“What is it?”

“Ava doesn’t quite stay at home. What if she is attacked when she is out in London, shopping with her sisters or having tea with her friend?”

“Oh…” Even Magnus looked worried. “It is not impossible for a lady’s carriage to be attacked on the road.”

Edwin’s heart thudded hard against his ribs. “Ava must stay at home for now.”

“Not quite. You could assign guards to follow her wherever she goes,” Magnus suggested.

Edwin shook his head. “I cannot trust anyone with her safety. She must be around me at all times so I can ensure her safety. I cannot possibly leave anything to chance now.”

“I understand,” Magnus said. “It is your responsibility to keep your wife safe.”

Edwin’s mind was set on one thing only as he straightened his coat: protecting his wife.

“I must leave now,” he announced.

With that, he breezed out of the room.

Magnus followed him and waved grimly as he climbed into his carriage. He knew what he must do. Ava must stay within sight at all times—at least until the danger was weeded out of Society.

Protecting his wife at the estate would be an easy task. However, he already knew that she would not take too kindly to being told not to leave the house, especially not with her sister’s impending nuptials.