Page 21

CHAPTER 21

E dwin could not believe his ears. He had known Ava to be rather defiant, but this was simply unacceptable. How could she justify her ridiculous actions?

“You truly believe you have done nothing wrong?” he asked, stepping towards her.

His heart pounded in his chest, and adrenaline coursed through his body.

Ava, on the other hand, did not seem to be phased by his anger. She simply stood there, her eyes holding his.

She shrugged. “I could argue that I simply wanted to ensure my husband’s safety.”

Ensure my safety? How ridiculous!

“I can ensure my own safety just fine, Ava!” he countered.

“You are my husband! It is my duty to know what you are up to.”

“And this duty includes following me?”

“I did not follow you. I was simply curious.”

“What are you saying, Ava?” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration as he began to pace the room.

“Perhaps you should ask yourself why you are so angry about such a simple action. Why does my following you anger you so much?”

“You—You—” Edwin paused as he considered her words just for a brief moment.

Truly, why was he so angered by her actions? In truth, Ava’s only crime was being so curious.

“Did you follow me right from home?” he asked in a lower voice.

“Why would I follow you from home?” She looked rather offended by his question. “Stella and I were shopping for her wedding dress when I saw you walk up to that house.”

Edwin nodded. She had only been curious.

Then why do I still feel this anger coursing through my body?

Of course, he knew why. He was angry with himself for letting her see him in such a state.

He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. He knew Ava had done nothing wrong. And yet he could not let it go. She had just watched him get slapped. He just felt so humiliated.

Ava could never see me as anything but a pitiable man. After all, she has seen me at my lowest.

Ava seemed to have sensed that his anger had simmered down because she approached him—cautiously, of course.

“You are not truly angry with me, are you?” she murmured.

A look at her pleading eyes and his anger evaporated.

He shook his head. “No, I am not mad at you,” he sighed. “I am angry because that woman is my mother.”

Ava’s eyes widened in shock, and she staggered backward just a little before she righted herself.

“Your mother!” she repeated.

From the horrified look on her face, Edwin might as well have told her that he was an axe murderer.

He nodded.

“You have a mother?”

As strange as it might seem, I was not dropped from the sky.

“Yes, I have a mother, and she is alive,” he replied. “And you just met her,” he added after a pause.

“But she… She…” Ava lifted her palm to her face to demonstrate.

Edwin nodded once again. “Indeed, she slapped me.”

“Why?”

Edwin sighed in exasperation. He understood why Ava was so surprised and curious. After all, it was quite uncommon to see a mother slap her son with such venom and vitriol.

“It is a rather long story,” he warned, half-hoping that this would somehow discourage her from probing further.

Alas, he was not so lucky.

“I am willing to listen.”

“Then we must sit down,” he said resignedly. He went and sat down on her bed. “That woman you saw is Margaret Crawford. She is the Dowager Duchess of Gillingham, and as much as I hate to say it, she is my mother.”

Ava nodded, her eyes still wide with disbelief.

“Why have you never told me about her? Why was she not present at our wedding? Why did she slap you?” She fired out question after question. “When did?—”

“I will tell you everything. You can stop bombarding me with questions,” Edwin cut her off. “Yes, she is my mother, and as unlikely as it might sound, she has hated me ever since I was born.”

Ava’s eyes narrowed. “What kind of mother would hate a baby?”

Edwin shrugged. “My mother hated me, and the older I got, the more she made her hatred known. She would hit me for no reason. It was almost as though she derived pleasure from causing me pain.” He hung his head as memories flashed through his mind. “And then, when I was but a boy, she paid to have me conscripted into the army. I was gone for years.”

Ava clamped her hand over her mouth in shock. “But what about your father?”

“He was ill. But even before his illness, he did not care if my mother killed me.” Edwin took a deep breath. “I returned to London after his death, and I could see the disappointment in her eyes. I know she would have been happier if I had died at war.”

“But then she would have no child.”

“I suspect she would have preferred that—having no child. Upon my return, she did not hide her hatred for me. On the night of my arrival, she announced that she would move out of the house because she could not bear to live under the same roof as me. And as cruel as it might seem, I was relieved. However, on that same night, she tried to kill me in my sleep.”

Ava gasped.

“But she only ended up stabbing me in the stomach with a shard of glass. She claimed that I was a monster she must rid the world of. I still have the scar on my abdomen.”

“You did not report her to the constables?”

“She is an elderly woman. Moreover, she has promised to move out. I could not have her locked up for attacking me. As much as I hate to admit it, she was still my mother.”

The room fell silent, and for a moment, Edwin felt relieved that he was finally sharing his past with someone.

He had only ever told his friends bits and pieces of it. However, baring it all to his wife made him feel lighter. It was as though a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulder.

He was still basking in the relief he felt when Ava scooted closer to him. Then, she placed her hand on his and gave it a comforting squeeze.

Edwin’s first instinct was to pull his hands away. He did not need comfort. However, he did not move.

“Edwin,” she whispered, “I am…”

He looked up and saw it etched clearly on her face: pity and compassion.

He yanked his hand from beneath hers and stood up, infuriated beyond words.

“You think I am pitiable, don’t you?” he barked.

Ava looked confused, but he was past caring. “No, I?—”

“I see it in your eyes. You pity me. I despise being pitied. I do not want anyone looking at me with pity.”

“I was simply being sympa?—”

How does she not understand?

“I. Do. Not. Want. Your. Pity!” he growled.

He paced up and down the room. He felt exposed, as if his pride and dignity were being stripped from his body.

Her sympathetic gaze infuriated him.

Does she think I am broken? Or worse, weak?

She looked at him as though he was some wounded animal that needed to be pitied and nurtured back to health.

The anger built up inside him. He could feel his body tense up and his jaw clench. He glanced at her, now standing a few feet away from him. She looked concerned.

His anger flared further.

It’s my fault—I shouldn’t have opened up to her.

“Do not look at me with pity!” he seethed.

“I am?—”

“Ava, do you know what I have realized?” he suddenly asked, taking menacing steps towards her.

Ava did not look terrified or even scared of him. She simply shook her head.

“You are the pitiful one!” he snapped, jabbing a finger at her with each word.

She looked hurt.

“Do you know why you are so pitiful?” he jeered.

Her eyes looked sad.

“Because you are my wife, and I can do with you whatever I please whenever I want!” he snarled. “You are my property. I can have my way with you anytime.”

Edwin regretted the words the moment they left his lips. However, it was too late to take them back.

Ava took deliberate, measured steps towards him, an unreadable look on her face. He expected her to slap him, yell at him, or do anything else to express her anger. However, what she did next surprised him even further.

She took one last step towards him and then leaned in, kissing him fully on the lips.

Edwin froze. His lips refused to move as she kissed him passionately.

When she finally let go, her cheeks were flushed, and a smile was playing on her lips.

“Ava…” he breathed.

“Will you do it now, then?” she asked.

“Do what?” He frowned.

“Have your way with me. You said that you can have your way with me whenever you want.”

For a second time, Edwin froze.

Is she truly offering herself to me now?

Despite the situation, the thought of it still stirred his blood and made his cock twitch.

How could she not be mad at him after what he had said?

“You are right, Edwin,” she whispered, moving her hands to the laces at the back of her dress. “You can do to me whatever you please whenever you please.”

She tugged at the ties haphazardly and then pulled her dress over her head, remaining in only her undergarments.

“Now, what will you do?” she asked, resting her hands on his shoulders.

She leaned in until he could feel her breath on his lips, her eyes dark and sensual.

It was clear to Edwin that she wanted him.

It was rather ironic that after months of telling her that she would eventually give in and beg him to take her, it was finally happening, even though the circumstances were rather strange.

“You want me to take you?” he asked.

Her full rosy lips parted to answer his question, and he could not help but stare, transfixed by them.

“Yes, Edwin,” she replied. “I want you to take me right now and here.”

Her lashes fluttered delicately as she looked up at him, and he could feel his heart skip a beat.

He had always known she was beautiful. However, at that moment, she was simply the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

He could not believe that a woman so attractive was offering herself to him, especially after he had been rather short with her.

“I want you to take me right now and here.”

Her words echoed in his head, and he finally gave in.

He cupped her face in his hands and brushed his fingers over her flushed cheeks. She trembled slightly at his touch.

She blinked rapidly as she stared up at him with her beautiful ocean-blue eyes.

Edwin’s heart simply could not take it anymore. He leaned in and kissed her.

At first, it was slow and tentative, as though they were trying to discover each other all over again. But soon the kiss deepened, her lips and tongue wrestling with his.

She sighed into his mouth as his warm arms wrapped around her, then curled her hand around his neck, her fingers playing with his hair.

The motion was possessive, and Edwin loved it. It made his heart flutter—something he had never experienced before.

The more they kissed, the longer he wanted it to last. He simply wanted to savor the moment, to kiss her until he committed the feel of her to memory.

Edwin could not help the desire that coursed through his body. It was undeniable; he wanted her just as much as she wanted him.

The feel of her lips against his, her body pressed tightly to his, her warm and sweet breath on his skin—it all intoxicated him.

He wanted to take her, right now.

His hands roamed over her body hungrily, despite the undergarments between them. He simply could not stop himself. He wanted to see every inch of her body and touch it. He wanted to wreak pleasure on her body over and over until she climaxed. He wanted nothing more than to watch her quiver on the bed, sated and flushed.

That would not happen if her undergarments remained in the way.

Therefore, Edwin reluctantly broke the kiss and regarded her.

“Your undergarments,” he breathed, “they must come off.”

Ava nodded eagerly, and together they worked to divest her of her undergarments.

Moments later, she stood in front of him, naked from head to toe.

Edwin took several steps back to take her in. If he had thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen when she had her clothes on, then that was simply an understatement. Now, as he stared at her naked body, he could feel his desire triple.

His gaze lingered on the swell of breasts and the curve of her waist. Soft dark brown curls fell down her shoulders and delicately framed her face.

His wife was simply a work of art.

Edwin stared at her intently, committed every inch of her to memory.

“You are staring,” she said shyly.

“I cannot help it. You are simply beautiful,” he rasped, his eyes still raking over her body.

He itched to close the distance between them, to claim her right there and then. However, he held back.

Despite his raging desire, he knew he must not rush it. He needed to savor the moment.

He approached her again, his eyes boring into hers. When he finally took her lips again, it was fast. With the kiss, he communicated how much he wanted her.

This time, his hands trailed slowly over her back and shoulders, caressing her, savoring her. Ava melted against him, her knees buckling.

He groaned as his member strained against the tight confines of his pants. It needed to be set free.

Ava suddenly pulled back. “It is only fair that you take off your clothes too,” she said.

She is right.

With the speed of lightning, Edwin attacked his clothes, and in a brief moment, they were gone. He was now naked, save for the mask on his face.

He watched as his wife’s eyes widened in admiration.

“Your body,” she whispered, raising a tentative hand as though unsure whether she could touch him.

Edwin gave her an encouraging nod, prompting her to run her hands over his chiseled chest and muscular arms.

He heard her breath hitch when her eyes traveled down to his stiff member. Her face reddened.

“Are you certain you want this?” he asked, nodding towards his member.

Instead of responding, Ava smiled and beckoned to him as she walked backward to her bed.

Edwin followed her. By the time he reached her bed, she was already sprawled on it, her back slightly arched. He swiftly climbed in after her.

“I have dreamed of this ever since I met you in that dark passageway,” she breathed.

There was no doubt about it—she was ready.

He raked his eyes over her once more, marveling at her beauty.

Her pale skin was a sharp contrast to the red bedding, and her hair was spread over the pillow, framing her face.

There was an expectant look on her face as she regarded him, and under that was desire and lust.

This was the night they both finally gave in to the lust that had been brewing between them.

Edwin leaned in, capturing her lips with his yet again. He could never get tired of kissing her. Every time their lips touched, it felt like the first time. Her taste was intoxicating and addictive.

She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer. His lips moved from her mouth to her nose, pressing a light, tender kiss there, before moving to the right and grazing her earlobe.

Ava giggled.

He trailed open-mouthed kisses down her neck and then nipped her collarbone, making her squirm. He moved further down her chest before he lifted his head slightly, licking his lips hungrily as he took in her breasts.

Edwin had always been fascinated by Ava’s breasts, especially when she wore those seductively low-cut ballgowns that made his manhood stir.

And now, he could do to her breasts as he pleased.

He cupped them in his hands and fondled them lightly. They felt warm and supple. He lowered his face, and in a painstakingly slow motion, he swirled his tongue around her nipple. The smell of her perfume wrapped around his senses, intoxicating him.

He could feel her shiver beneath him, and that pleased him immensely. There was nothing he enjoyed more than bringing her pleasure.

He drew her nipple into his mouth and sucked on it, before moving to her other breast and doing the same thing until soft moans spilled past her lips.

Eventually, he released her breasts and moved down to her navel, leaving soft, wet kisses in his wake. He took a deep breath and paused at her mound.

She was simply beautiful, her glistening folds pink and delicate like a flower. Edwin lowered his face and buried his nose in her sex.

His member throbbed as he inhaled her soft, musky scent. He wanted nothing more than to keep his face buried there, her scent permeating his senses and making him dizzy.

He knew that her smell would be imprinted in his memory for a very long time.

Then, he saw it, that small bundle of nerves that brought her pleasure. He raised his head and took one last look at her flushed face before diving back in.

He flicked his tongue against her bud, making her squirm. Then, he set to work, swirling his tongue slowly around it. Ava arched beneath him. When he shifted to stroking her with long licks, she began to moan his name.

“Edwin!”

He went back to swirling his tongue around her bud, and she curled her fingers into the sheets. He did not glance at her, but he knew that her knuckles were white from her tight grip.

Before he knew it, she was slowly grinding her hips against his mouth. However, when her breathing quickened, she began to move even faster. He picked up speed and tried to keep up while she ground her hips against his lips, his face.

He met her with equal fervor, still licking her bud and sucking on it. It did not take long for him to feel her wetness against his chin. He smiled to himself.

Moments later, she began to buck her hips even faster. She grunted and moaned and trashed, but he held her hips down so that he could still have access to her.

Her body tensed up, and she cried out loud. But he did not let up. He continued to worship her body until she was shivering uncontrollably.

Eventually, she went lax and collapsed on the bed.

It was then that he finally let go of her.

When he raised his head to take a look at her, she looked even more radiant than before. Her cheeks were flushed, and she had a glow about her that he had not noticed before.

Her chest rose and fell as she tried to catch her breath. Her hair, which had framed her face nicely earlier, was now strewn across the pillow. Her lips were slightly parted, and she had a contented smile on her face.

His wife looked even more beautiful at that moment. She was simply breathtaking.

His cock throbbed once, as if in agreement. It was time.

As though she knew what he was thinking, Ava gave an encouraging nod.

That was all he needed.

He took his cock in his hand and guided it towards her entrance, which was now wet and slippery with her arousal. He rubbed himself against her, and she squirmed.

“Stop teasing me!” she whined.

He finally obliged, notching his cock at her entrance. Then, he leaned down and took her lips in a passionate kiss, all while rubbing himself against her entrance.

“I am about to go in,” he warned. “It might sting a little, since it is your first time.”

Ava nodded earnestly, as though she had been awaiting this moment forever.

Edwin pushed the head inside her, and her breath caught, her face contorting slightly. His heart clenched. She was uncomfortable.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered.

Edwin took a deep breath while he gave her a moment to adjust to the feeling. She lifted her hand to his face, and he could not help but smile as she cradled his cheek. But then her hand moved towards his mask.

Edwin froze, his heart rate quickening. She touched his mask and, ever so slowly, tried to pry it off.

His breath caught in his chest. “Ava!”

She gave him a nod.

It was clear that she wanted him to remove the mask. This was the second time she would try to do it.

He took a deep breath in a bid to calm himself. It was only a mask, after all. And yet the longer her hand lingered on his mask, the faster his heart beat. His head swam as panic seized him.

He knew then that he simply could not do it.

All she had to do was take a look at his scars and she would be revolted by him. He could not afford to let her see his scars.

And yet, when he looked at her, his heart melted.

She looked angelic with that expectant, innocent look on her face. At that moment, he wished he could do what she wanted.

But he had failed. He knew it as he pulled away from her.

She looked disappointed—hurt, even—as he moved away from her.

Edwin shook his head, willing himself not to return to her arms. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched as she followed him, concern etched on her face.

He could not help the rush of affection he felt towards her at that moment. He realized with a pang that he was irrevocably in love with her. There was no use denying it.

This is why I must stay away from her.

He would only break her heart if he did not stay away. Ava was pure and kind, and she was everything that he was not. How could he love someone like that?

He rose to his feet and began to put on his clothes.

“Edwin!” she gasped.

He knew he would bring her nothing but pain. For the second time, he had been unable to remove his mask, and now he knew that she was hurt by his action—or rather, the lack of it.

He was simply too unpredictable, too dangerous, and it terrified him. He was afraid to give in, to allow himself to love her and be with her, for he knew he would only hurt her in the end.

He simply did not deserve her.

When he was fully dressed, he cast a glance at her before turning to the door, unable to bear the wounded tears in her eyes. “I shall be leaving now.”

With that, he walked out of her room, even as his heart shattered into a thousand pieces.