Page 24

CHAPTER 23

ANASTASIA

Song- Sleeptoken Rain

I tap my fingers on the wooden table, listening to the rain pelt against the single glazed window. The sound is almost comforting, but not enough to distract me from my thoughts.

Why won’t he touch me? He basically ran out of the door earlier.

Last night, he barely said a word to me.

I got what I wanted, I guess. He took my virginity before it could be robbed from me. I shouldn’t want more, not with him. I shouldn’t crave to be touched by my husband like that again.

Except, I am. Desperately. I’m not delusional enough to think he’s going to rush in and sweep me up into his arms, declaring his undying love for me.

But there is something there. I can see the fire in his eyes, he feels our connection. He wants to fuck me again.

He’s already been gone an hour and I’m bored of missing his company. With my mind spiralling, I head to the kitchen and start jabbing some buttons on this old ass radio on the counter.

“Perfect,” I mutter when some faint music comes through the speaker. I twist the knob to turn the volume up slightly. What Mikhail doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Hmm. It’s kinda got me in the mood for a glass of wine. I know we have none of that, but there might be more booze stashed somewhere.

Searching through the cupboards, I do a little dance when my hand connects with a dusty bottle of vodka.

“Oh well, what’s the worst that can happen? It’s vodka. I’m Russian. I’ll be fine,” I mutter to myself.

Taking a glass out, I pour a double measure. I don’t want to get completely wasted, just something to take this edge off.

Sitting back, letting this disgusting liquid burn my insides, I hold back a cough.

The door clicks shut and I down the rest of the contents. I need some courage to ask him what’s going on.

His heavy footsteps get closer and I straighten my spine. He stops at the edge of the table and rests his ring covered fingers on the wood.

“Want some?” I ask, holding up the half empty bottle.

“No thank you.”

Ugh. So polite.

He drags a seat out and sits down next to me.

Why does he have to be so distractingly hot?

“Wanna dance?” I ask, holding back a smirk.

He raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t dance, pretty girl.”

The nickname makes my heart race. His dark eyes burn into mine and I nudge my chair in closer.

“Come on. How can you live life being so serious all the time, when in reality, how much can you actually control? Hmm?”

I rest my palm on his massive bicep and squeeze it, feeling him tense under my touch.

“I can control enough. I have you here don’t I? I have a plan. I have an empire.”

I shouldn’t push his buttons, he appears to be in a sour mood. But I can’t help myself.

“Yet you’re still hiding from your father? What does one night off do to mess with your plans really? When’s the last time you turned that damn brain off of fight mode and just took a second to enjoy something… or someone?”

I lean back into my chair and face him, trying to gauge a reaction. It’s hard to decipher through that damn mask.

“It’s been a long time. I have too many people’s lives relying on me. Including yours, iskorka.”

I nod, leaning over to grab the vodka from in front of me. He catches my wrist before I can get it.

“Oh, am I not allowed?” I pin him with a stare.

When I yank my arm out of his grip, he sighs. What is up with him? I stand up and tuck my chair in, then go to the back exit and slide my sneakers on.

“Where are you going? It’s pouring rain and it isn’t safe.”

I turn and smile at him, tucking my hair behind my ear.

“Just wanna go dance in the rain.” I shrug, pulling open the door.

Before I can step outside, his hand connects with my hip and he spins me to face him, pressing me into the wall.

“You’ll freeze to death.”

My heart races and I take a deep breath, him being this close… pressed up against me. I want him.

“I won’t. Don’t be dramatic, big man.”

As I go to move, he blocks me in, pinning his hand up against the wall next to my head.

“Don’t ignore me.” He almost growls, and holy hell that’s hot.

“What you going to do about it? Leave me here and not tell me where you’re going again? Or chase me through the woods?”

His eyes darken and he shakes his head. It’s almost like he’s sad. And I hate that.

“Come on, big man, dance in the rain with me.” I tap his chest.

He tips my chin up to him and studies me.

“Don’t make me beg. Let me show you the world won’t end if you’re happy for just a few minutes.”

He looks down at my lips and back to my eyes. God, I could get lost staring into his, the window to his soul.

“You think you know what would make me happy?”

“You think you’re so mysterious, don’t you? I see you, Mikhail. I can see straight through you. You might be used to people being scared of you. I’m not. Now dance with me.”

I wanna kick him out of whatever mood he’s in.

“Nobody really sees the real me. They see the person I choose to be for them.” His voice drops.

Interesting.

“That might work on everyone else. Trouble is, Miki... you can’t hide your soul from me. No matter how hard you try. See, I believe we were meant to find each other...”

I stroke my hand along his mask and for a split second he tilts his face into my touch.

“Soul mates don’t exist. It’s a fantasy. People are scared of me for good reason. You should be, too.”

I can’t help but laugh and shake my head. I am not scared of him. Quite the opposite. He’s the first person to ever make me feel truly safe.

“If it’s bullshit, then explain why your heart races when you see me.”

I place my hand on his chest.

“Why, even when we’re in the same room, your eyes are constantly searching for me? Tell me why you are letting me speak to you like this? And tell me why you are about to go outside in the pouring rain and dance with me, it’s because you know it will make me smile, isnt it? And finally, tell me you didn’t feel it the first time you grabbed my hand. You are many things, Mikhail, but you aren’t a liar. Tell me I’m wrong, I dare you. Deny it all you like, it doesnt change the truth.”

I’m almost out of breath letting that all out.

“Are you always trying to romanticise your life? Is that what this is? You found a monster and you want to fix him? I am beyond fixing, iskorka.”

I roll my eyes and he grips my chin.

“Are you always so damn negative? Oh, so broken, so unworthy. I’ve told you before, I’m not anyone’s princess and you certainly aren’t the prince either. That isn’t what a soul mate is. I’ve seen your demons and I wanna play with them.”

I duck under his arm, muttering under my breath. I wish he would just listen, and see what I see. And stop treating me like I’m delicate.

“I’ll dance with you, pretty girl,” he says, almost as a whisper as I go to step out the door.

I stop and turn to face him, not hiding the smile lighting up my face.

“Careful, big man. You might fall in love with me.” I hold out my hand to him.

His eyes go wide as he looks at my open palm. Oh fuck. I shouldn’t have dropped the ‘L’ word.

“Vozmozhno ya uzhe. Perhaps I already am ,” he says under his breath.

A wave of emotion washed over me, causing my eyes to fill with tears. Validation that he feels whatever the hell this is between us.

He entwines his fingers with mine and I lead him outside.

The rain batters down on us, a deluge of icy water, and he spins me to face him, placing his hands on my waist, his touch warm through my soaked clothes, as I lay my palms on him. And we sway in silence, his body keeping me warm. I don’t know how long we stay in this perfect little bubble.

“It’s dark out, iskorka. The rain has stopped. Let’s get you inside to dry off.”

“But look…” I point up at the sky, “you can see the stars in the dark.”

“That is usually how it works.” He chuckles and I bat his chest.

“They’re always there, you know? No matter how dark it is, no matter what the weather, they are there whether you can see them or not,” I say, almost in awe as I look at the beautiful sparkles in the sky.

“Hmm.” I can feel his gaze burning into me, so I look back at him.

“Sometimes you don’t have to look up at the dark skies to see the bright light in your life. Not when it’s right in front of your eyes.”