Page 33 of Circle of Days

Pia had hoped she might get used to living with Stam, but a few days had shown her that it would never happen.

He was a hard worker, and he was able to bring water from the river to the fields twice as fast as Yana and Pia.

He did so willingly, happy to demonstrate his superiority.

His and their efforts were being rewarded: green shoots were appearing in the furrows, and they had had to get a dog to chase off the hares and other creatures who would eat the crop before it had fully grown.

Stam was also a good shot. He brought down birds using a club-headed arrow that did not damage the meat, and they often had lapwing, swan, heron, and fat little woodcocks to supplement their meager diet.

So far Stam had heeded Yana’s warning against violence.

She had been very scary at that moment. People still talked about it, the men with outrage, the women with awestruck admiration.

Stam had not forgotten it. He was almost subdued when Yana spoke to him, and he never disagreed or argued with her.

Perhaps he was used to taking orders, having been brought up by Troon.

That was the good side.

He was greedy, eating as much as he wanted, then leaving the rest for the women. He was big and clumsy, always bumping into people and things. And he smelled bad.

Every night Pia heard him having sex with her mother.

Yana was silent, but Stam made a lot of noise, grunting and groaning.

It had been different with Pia’s father.

They had murmured words, Yana giggling and Alno chuckling.

The two had been equally enthusiastic. With Stam the pleasure was clearly all on one side.

Worse, he made a pass at Pia every chance he got. He had not forced the issue, and now she avoided being alone with him; but she was afraid that one day he would catch her unprotected and hold her down and rape her.

When she felt unhappy she turned her thoughts to Han.

Soon she would see him at the Midsummer Rite, with his fair hair and his enormous shoes.

It would be only two or three days, but it would be like a rehearsal for the rest of their lives.

They would eat together and sleep together, and if she became pregnant she would be even happier.

When they became a couple, she would leave Farmplace.

She was firmly resolved. Troon would be furious, but she was not a prisoner.

And she longed to get away from the farmer community.

Since Troon became Big Man it had got more rigid.

And in the drought people were too afraid of losing their livelihoods to resist him.

Her only regret would be leaving her mother. But she cherished a hope that perhaps one day Yana, too, would flee from Farmplace, leaving Stam behind.

One evening, Stam went to shoot woodcocks, which came out at dusk to eat beetles and worms in the fields. Pia and Yana were milking the goats when they were approached by Mo.

She looked scared. Pia said: “Hello, Mo, what’s the matter?” and Mo burst into tears.

This was uncharacteristic. She managed to say: “Troon is a pig.”

“What has he done?”

“He says I have to partner with Deg.”

Deg was Bort’s milk-and-water son. Pia was shocked. “But the rule only applies to widows!”

Yana said: “That’s the way it’s always been. But Troon is changing the rules.”

“I can’t partner with Deg,” Mo said in despair. “He’s an empty space that should have been filled with a man.”

Yana said: “When I proposed to Bort he turned me down.”

“Lucky you,” Mo said bitterly. Anger began to take over from tears. “Unfortunately, Deg is willing.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I’ve come here. Yana, tell me honestly, what’s it like, being with someone you don’t like and never could?”

Yana hesitated, looked at Pia, looked away again, and said: “I’m going to tell you the truth.”

Pia wondered what was coming.

Yana said: “I hate my life.”

Pia was shocked. Although Yana had made no secret about her dislike of Stam, she had put on a brave face and tried to live a normal life without complaining. Now Pia realized it had all been an act.

Mo looked grim. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Yana went on: “He’s a boy, and a very unpleasant one.

At night he puts his tongue in my mouth and his cock in my cunt, and doesn’t speak until he’s spurted inside me.

Then he goes to sleep. I don’t think he really cares who he’s in bed with.

If I didn’t have Pia, I’d jump in the river and drown. There, Mo, now you know.”

Pia was horrified. This was much worse than she had known.

Mo was downcast. “I was afraid it would be like that. I’m sure I could hardly bear to have sex with Deg.”

“It might not be very often.”

Mo shook her head. “I have to run away.”

“Troon will go after you.”

“I can evade him. I’ll travel by night and sleep in the woods by day. The Great Plain is a big place—he can’t search all of it.”

Yana said practically: “Is there someone who might help you?”

Mo nodded. “Last year at the Midsummer Rite I spent the night with a herder called Yaran. I talked to him this year at the Spring Rite. He likes me.”

“Don’t tell anyone else his name.”

“Good point. I’m no good at deceit. I’m in the habit of saying what I think.”

“Then don’t speak to people,” Yana said. “You’ve confided in us, but don’t tell anyone else.”

“I’m going to go tonight. I’ll head through the wood.” She looked thoughtful. “I wish I had a way of laying a false trail, so that he’d look for me in the wrong place.”

“I’ve got an idea,” said Pia.

“Go on.”

“The boat.”

The farming community had one boat, made of wickerwork covered with oiled hides, tightly fitted. It was kept at the riverside near Troon’s house. Though it was communal property, they had to ask Troon’s permission to use it.

Pia went on: “I could take it while everyone’s asleep, sail it downstream, leave it somewhere, and be back before dawn. When they realize it’s missing, and you’re missing too, they’ll assume you sailed away.”

“And Troon will start looking for me wherever you leave the boat.”

“Exactly.”

“Clever girl! I’ll come back here when everyone’s asleep, to let you know I’m on my way. And then I’ll trust you to do your part.” She kissed Pia. “Thank you.”

Pia said: “I’ll be waiting for you.”

In fact she fell asleep. When Mo shook her awake, she thought it must be morning. She suffered a sudden panic, thinking she had slept through the night and let her friend down. Then everything became clear.

Stam was asleep and snoring. Yana was wide-awake, but she kept silent.

Pia got up quietly and went outside with Mo. There was a moon to relieve the darkness. When they were out of earshot of the house, Pia said: “I’m sorry. I fell asleep.”

“It’s all right,” said Mo. “You’re awake now. Are you still willing to lay a false trail for me?”

Pia had not thought very hard when she offered to help Mo.

Now that the scheme was about to go ahead, she felt she had been rash.

What if someone happened to be awake, and saw her taking the boat?

How could she explain her actions? She tried to think how to tell Mo she had changed her mind. She stopped and turned to her.

Mo said: “Thank you so much for this.” The moonlight glinted off tears in her eyes. “I’ll never forget it.” She hugged Pia hard.

Pia realized with dismay that she could not back out now.

They parted company, Mo heading up the sloping field toward the wood, Pia going down to the riverside.

She walked along the bank, looking around fearfully, but no one was about. In the days before the drought, the river had sometimes spread its waters wide, so everyone lived farther up, where the river never reached.

Nonetheless, she heard an alert dog bark as she passed one house, which gave her a heart-stopping moment of alarm; but no one appeared, and she imagined sleeping people turning over, realizing the dog had stopped barking, and going back to sleep.

At last she saw the boat.

It was upside down on the bank and tied to a rock.

She looked around in the moonlight. Nothing moved. There were a few houses in sight, none within earshot.

She untied the rope and turned the boat upright. It was surprisingly light. Underneath she found a paddle and a large wooden bowl. She wondered what the bowl was for.

She pulled the canoe across the dried mud and into the water. It made little noise. She was not used to boats and she clambered inside awkwardly, losing her balance and dropping to her knees, grabbing the sides to avoid a fall.

She snatched up the paddle and tried to steer the boat into midstream. It took her several strokes to get the hang of paddling, but once she knew what she was doing, she began to control the boat better.

She looked back. No one was watching.

She noticed water pooling in the bottom of the boat, and realized what the bowl was for.

She bailed out until most of it was gone, but it started to seep back right away.

She realized that bailing had to be a constant process.

On the upside, she was sailing with the current, so she used the paddle only to keep the boat in midstream and clear of obstacles.

How far should she go? She had to be back before dawn. Stam slept heavily all night, but he did not linger in bed in the morning.

It was quiet, the water was calm, and the moonlight was dim. She worried that she might go to sleep. She splashed cool river water on her face to keep awake.

The farmland on her left narrowed: the wood was closer to the water here.

Eventually there was no farmland, and the vegetation grew all the way to the water’s edge.

Anywhere here, Mo might have felt she was free of the farming folk, and safe to go on land.

But Pia sailed on, wanting to make Troon waste as much time as possible following this false trail.