Page 8

Chapter Eight

KOSHA

T he bright rays of the sun hitting my face caused me to stir in my sleep and slowly wake from my slumber.

I threw my hand up to block the sun as my face released the tension.

Sitting up, I grunted as my body began to ache all over.

I held my head as a headache surfaced.

What the hell, Kosha?

Looking around for some kind of familiarity, I froze as soon as my eyes landed on Chrome laying beside me.

My hands flew to my mouth as flashbacks of the night before came rushing back.

I couldn’t believe I allowed his young ass to take me there.

I was never supposed to be here overnight.

Hopping up, I began to grab my clothes and get dressed.

I didn’t give a fuck about being quiet or none of that shit.

All I cared about was getting the fuck out of the same hotel room as that nigga.

I was too afraid to admit that he was able to distract me from my issues at home.

However, it was time to get the fuck on and deal with them.

I snatched up his keys off the nightstand and dipped.

I had no remorse about taking his shit.

I was in such a vulnerable space last night that taking me home was the only reasonable thing he should’ve done.

Instead, I ended up in bed with him and my pussy having the time of her fuckin’ life.

Nothing but regret began to fill me as I stepped on the elevator.

I promised to never do my child how my mother did me and that was exactly what I did last night.

She wasn’t a priority and that was eating me up.

She deserved better.

As soon as the doors opened to the lobby, I damn near sprinted to Chrome’s car.

It wasn’t hard to find since it was the only Charger outlined in gold chrome trimming.

Climbing inside, I powered it up and pulled off.

I was hitting the main road and heading in the direction of Dean Creek.

I couldn’t believe I stayed out all night.

That was one promise I made to Melanie and until I met Chrome, I never broke it.

He was such a bad influence but if I was being a grown woman about this shit, it was me that made the final decision to do so.

I just wasn’t ready for the back and forth with Mel.

I knew how hurt I was when my mother didn’t put me first.

However, that was all I ever did when it came to Mel.

Me going out last night was supposed to be a night of celebration.

I made it to Eastlake in one piece and was able to get my business up and running without running into any hiccups.

See the city, take a few shots, and go the fuck home.

I had no plans to get fucked until my body called quits.

It took me twenty minutes to get home, and I was glad to see Onyx’s car parked in my driveway.

That bitch clutched every single time.

I could admit that I had my moments where I slacked but she never judged me.

Instead, she stepped up and picked it up.

With her by my side, I could manage this motherhood shit and remain focused.

This slip up would be the last one.

I parked and headed inside.

Mel was coming downstairs with her phone in tow.

Once she looked at me, she rolled her eyes and proceeded to drag her feet to the kitchen.

It was a little past eight in the morning so seeing her up this early on the weekend was a first.

I jetted upstairs and went straight for my shower.

Hitting the knob on the wall, I stepped in under the cool water and washed the night away.

Now wasn’t the time to do anything other than getting to my daughter and hashing out last night.

I always wanted her to feel heard so I would grant her the floor to get some shit off her chest if need be.

Maybe I changed and didn’t realize it.

Either way, I was gon’ allow her to speak on her issues.

Fifteen minutes later, I was wrapping a towel around my body and walking over to the sink.

I quickly washed my face and brushed my teeth before exiting the bathroom completely.

Once I dried off, I threw on a simple two-piece lounging set from Forever 21 and made my way downstairs.

I found both my best friend and daughter in the kitchen fixing breakfast.

A small wave of shame washed over me as the silence of awkwardness surrounded me.

“Let’s get this shit over with. Melanie why the fuck were you in that club last night?” Onyx kick started the conversation.

“Harli said she could get us in, so I said fuck it,” Mel replied.

“Watch yo’ mouth in my house little girl. I don’t give a fuck how grown you think you is, I’m the one buying yo’ funky ass panties,” I chimed.

Melanie tossed her phone on the island and flopped down on the bar stool.

Her attitude was present, and I could tell if I wasn’t her mother, she would be tearing me a new one right about now.

She was put in her place in front of a group of young niggas.

She definitely had some shit to say to me.

“Lie again. That girl said it was you that cooked up that bullshit of a plan. What the hell is it with you and all this sneaking around?” Onyx questioned, calling her out on her lies.

“I wasn’t sneaking.”

“Then what the fuck you call it. Oh, then you got the nerve to put my shit on and stroll up in that hoe like you really like that. What the fuck you trying to do Mel? You want a grown ass man to get locked up behind you? ‘Cause I promise you, I’m pressing charges as soon as I find out you dealing with anybody that ain’t in your age range,” I snapped.

“You’re the last person that should be talking ‘bout age range. Chrome is twenty years younger than you, yet you found comfort in that nigga lap. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if you fucked him last night.”

I reeled back and slapped the fire out her ass.

I vowed to never ever hit my child but the anger that shot through me wouldn’t let me swallow that.

She was disrespectful as fuck and dammit, I had enough.

My hands flew over my mouth as soon as I hit her.

Melanie held her face and looked at me with glossy eyes.

We were both in shock.

“You fuckin’ hit me!” Melanie yelled.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It’s just you got to running your mouth and I reacted. I’m sorry, baby,” I apologized.

“ Aht! Don’t apologize for checking her wanna be grown ass. She deserved that shit. Look lil’ girl, let me spell this shit out for you since you think somebody owe yo’ lil’ broke ass something. That woman makes sure you have everything you need and get everything you want. All this thinking y’all equals bullshit stops right now. You want to be grown so bad hand over yo’ bank card ‘cause that’s my friend money. She worked for that shit. Thank you for this phone and go get that laptop. Now!”

Melanie stomped away without giving Onyx any back talk.

She listened to anybody that wasn’t me.

She hated me and for the life of me, I didn’t understand why.

I looked at my friend and she threw her hand up.

She handed over a shot and I gladly threw that bitch back.

I needed it and she knew it.

Melanie returned with her Smith’s Bank card and laptop in tow.

She tossed them on the counter and went to walk away.

However, I wasn’t done talking.

“Sit your ass down!”

“And you better give it to her raw friend, or I know something,” Onyx chimed.

“Whether you like it or not, I’m all the fuck you have for a mother. I love you but I refuse to keep being disrespected. Other than school, you won’t see shit else in Eastlake for a while.”

“Why you even in Chrome and them face? My daddy leaving you must’ve hurt yo’ lil’ feelings. Who goes out and mess with somebody that could date yo’ daughter?” Melanie voiced with nothing but anger lacing her words.

Ohhh, I get it.

You want my nigga.

Wait, what?

Get it together, Kosha.

I chuckled and closed the gap between us.

I see me talking to her as a mother wasn’t gon’ do the trick.

Maybe if I broke it down to her like I would a bitch on the street, she’d realize I meant business.

Questioning me about dick she would never touch was crazy to me.

However, sometimes you needed to break a bitch down like a fraction for them to get the picture.

“I can be in any muthafuckas face I damn well please ‘cause who the fuck gon’ stop me little girl. Damn sure not you. I got my own money, house, car, and business. If I want to fuck from her to Timbuc-fuckin’-too, I can and will. Me and you will never be on the same level simply because a boss ass bitch like me ain’t driven by no nigga. Yo’ bitch ass daddy leaving me got you out here moving like child with daddy issues as if I’m not busting my ass to raise you. You want to act like I owe you something, get it out the mud cause I’ve done my part. From this day forward, anything you want from me is earned. Do a chore around this bitch and earn a few dollars for yo’ school lunch ‘cause that’s all you getting out of me.”

“You can’t do that? How am I supposed to pay for anything else?”

“Eastlake High is the only place you spending money at. I’m confused on what you need money for other than that. Grown muthafuckas got they own shit, boo. I suggest you fill out a few applications and get a job if you ain’t satisfied. Now get the fuck out my face.” I felt no remorse after having it out with her.

Mel kissed her teeth and knocked over the stool as she stood.

“Pick my shit up!” I yelled.

She did so and I was so thankful that she didn’t challenge me on this.

I was already regretful for not coming home but now the feeling of becoming my mother was beginning to wash over me.

Talking to her like that hurt me more than it hurt her.

I wanted to go upstairs and cry behind all this shit.

She was the only family I had outside of Onyx so fighting with her was tearing me up inside.

Onyx waited until she heard Mel’s door slam before she walked over and threw her arms around me.

I broke down in her embrace.

I was trying my best with Melanie but damn she was making it hard.

All I wanted was the best for her and she was out doing dumb shit like she didn’t come from a woman who put everything on the line for her.

“It’s okay bestie. You got to give her tough love ‘cause now she at that age where she gon’ start trying you. We know what the streets got to offer, and I applaud you for trying to protect her. Raising a child ain’t easy, bitch, but you got this.”

My best friend was speaking nothing but the truth.

I loved my daughter and would go toe-to-toe with anybody that tried to taint that love, but damn she was the only one tainting it.

Me and her father not being together was to maintain my self dignity and respect.

Letting people walk over me was never ever going to be the case.

I left to show her a woman could make it without a man.

I didn’t know what the hell she was taking from this, but it wasn’t to hurt her.

“She is so hateful! Like, what the hell have I done for her to act like that, friend?”

“Oh, hell no. You not ‘bout to question yo’ parenting in front of me. You are one hell of a mother and she gon’ fall in line again. Please don’t beat yourself up.”

“Thank you, bestie. And thank you for coming through last night. My head was all over the place.”

“Bitch please. I knew once you left with Chrome, I wasn’t gon’ see you again until this morning. Speaking of, how the hell did you get home? I know you ain’t let that nigga know where you sleep,” she said, removing the bacon from the oven.

I walked over and grabbed a glass from the cabinet to fix some juice.

The pitcher of orange juice was pulled from the fridge and turned up while flashes of Chrome fuckin’ the dog shit out of me hit me back to back.

God that nigga knew exactly what my body needed.

From the way he held on to me to the way he ate my pussy like it was a special edition, I couldn’t deny how bad my body submitted to him.

Houston’s sex was what you called…

mediocre compared to Chrasmere’s.

Fuck it.

Every nigga I ever gave this pussy to was mediocre compared to him.

Never in my life have I had a nigga work my body so good to where my entire canvas was aching from feeling so fuckin’ good.

Everything that young ass nigga bestowed upon me was one of fuckin’ one.

Nobody had it like him and at my big grown Elizabeth age, I’d had my share of men.

“I took the keys to his Charger. It’s in the driveway,” I said, sipping on my drink.

“Bitch, no you didn’t. Why you lying?” I gave her that look, and she ran to the front door.

She snatched it open and screamed.

“ Ahhhhh! That’s my best friend, she a real bad bitch!” she sang while twerking in the doorframe.

I giggled at her ratchet ways.

She knew how to bring a smile out of me.

I swear my life would be miserable if she wasn’t in it.

She was my…

vitamin D so to say.

All the energy boosts came from her.

She ran back in with a smile that stretched from ear to ear.

“I stole it.”

She stopped dancing and looked at me with a gaped open mouth and hiked brows.

I was quite shocked myself, but I needed to get home to my child.

“He wouldn’t bring you home or something? Why you take that man car, friend?”

“I woke up aghast and thought what the fuck. It took me maybe thirty seconds to get dressed then I was out the door with his keys in tow. I wasn’t even thinking for real. I just knew I had to get the hell out that hotel.”

“So, is Melanie right? Did you fuck him?” she inquired ready to hear some tea.

I dropped my head out of shame and gave a small nod.

“Biiiiiitch! I knew it. Hand me my phone behind you right quick.” I did so and she made a phone call.

Her smile stretched and for the first time in a long time, I witnessed my best friend blushing.

“Good morning, love. I was calling to let you know I’ll take that in all twenties. Thank you. I’ll hit you back in a minute. Let me finish talking to KoKo. I will. Bye.”

“Who the fuck was that Onyx and did y’all bet on me?”

“That was Zinc. He asked if you could handle yourself and I told him you was ‘bout to go fuck the shit out of Chrome. I put like five blues on you. Thank you for coming through for me, boo.”

“Don’t piss me off, Onyx.”

“My bad,” she said holding her hands up in surrender. “How was it?”

I didn’t know whether I wanted to tell her how I still felt that man between my thighs or how bad my body missed his presence. Nothing about that man was forgettable and I hated how easy it was for me to cave in to him. He was a hell of a fun time, but he was nothing meant to happen again.

“Memorable.

”

“That’s it? All you got for me is memorable? Okay, I see I got to get specific. Did the nigga eat the pussy? Did he beat yo’ back in? Did he have you riding dick like it was hydraulics? Did the nigga have you calling out his name while he was long stroking like unh, unh, unh ?” She fired off question after question making sure to hit a vulgar pose.

Sometimes Onyx talked too damn much.

However, her questions were very specific and to the point.

“I want you to shut up. My daughter is upstairs, and I don’t need anything else to set her off. I think she has a crush on Chrome.”

“Who the fuck cares? She’s a fuckin’ child and that nigga ain’t checking for her, not even a lil’ bit.”

“Still Onyx, chill on the theatrics. Anyway, yes to all that. I’m so pissed I stayed and let that man have his way. I should’ve come home.”

“You deserved that time alone, Kosha. Houston fucked you over and your daughter has become the bride of Chucky. Being with Chrome was exactly what you needed to reset. I’m proud of you for having a night where you could be KoKo with no regrets.”

“But that’s the thing, bestie. I regret last night so much but can’t seem to shake the fact that I like being with him. That young ass nigga turned me every way but loose and dammit, if I didn’t sneak out of there this morning, he would’ve gave me another round.” I picked up the newspaper and fanned myself.

Chrome caused me to sweat just from the thought of him.

“Looks to me like you got a decision to make because the way he got you hot and bothered just from a simple conversation says a lot. Think about what the hell you ‘bout to do with him because I don’t think he’s gon’ let you be so easily.”

I knew he wouldn’t.

He told me time and time again last night that I was his and I believed him every single time it left his lips.

Not only did he claim me, he made sure my pussy didn’t crave nobody but him.

He stamped me and I knew there was only so many things I could do to avoid him.

&

For the last month, I found myself going through withdrawal and that could’ve been because I still had his whip and smelled him all through out it.

He had yet to come get it so I drove it when I felt like it.

Today being one of those days.

Chrome did something to me and now I was fiendin’ for him.

Anytime my phone rang, I thought it was him but quickly had to realize we never exchanged information.

I was stuck missing a nigga who was probably having the time of his life with another bitch.

“Hey, KoKo, you look cute,” Henny said walking through the shop door.

Working seemed to be the only way I could keep myself distracted.

Whenever I was home and alone, Chrome flooded every thought with the things he said and did to me.

I couldn’t escape him.

“Thanks girl. I had to squeeze my tiny ass up in this, but I made it work,” I jested.

“Girl please. I was telling Amy the other day how I need to raid yo’ closet. You really be stepping on our necks with the fits.”

“It ain’t nothing special. All I wear is Fashion Nova or a few pieces from here and there. I just make this shit look good.”

“And that’s how it’s supposed to be. So, everybody looked at their appointment books, right? It’s graduation tomorrow which means we’ll be packed out today.” Henny reminded me of all the seniors that would be flowing through here.

She also reminded me of all the running around I did for Melanie.

Regardless of how she treated me, I wanted her to feel loved at all times.

She was my only child and having her back was all I could do.

She was walking the stage tomorrow and that was a big fuckin’ deal.

I called her father at his job maybe a week ago to let him know it was time, and he promised to show for her.

He broke his vows to me, but I was hoping he kept his word for her.

After all, I was the devil that wore Chanel in her eyes.

“Damn, I forgot,” Sadie chimed.

“I did, too. Well, let’s open up and get ready.” Lauren walked to the door and hit the switch cutting on the lights in the window.

I took a seat and indulged in a bowl of fruit.

I’d taken a weird obsession to honey dew and cantaloupe.

Before leaving the house, I drowned them in honey, and bagged up some whipped cream.

It was so good early in the morning, and it hit every sweet craving I had.

I’d always been a fan of fruit, but this particular combination had become a favorite.

Within minutes, the first client strolled in, and it went up from there.

Neither me nor the girls could catch a break.

This torture went on for hours and if it wasn’t for the street vendors walking up and down the sidewalks selling their meals, we probably wouldn’t have eaten.

My stomach touched my back on more than one occasion leaving me wondering if I had a tapeworm or something.

I just wasn’t getting full.

The shop didn’t slow down until around four in the afternoon and me and the girls were beat to hell.

I was happy about the steady flow we created.

K Blades was no longer the new kid on the block.

Our customers broke us in nicely.

Two months later we were known as the best barbers in town.

We worked hard to get to where we were, and I applauded them for being dependable women.

With my back turned and face buried in a bowl of shrimp fried rice, I heard the bell on the door go off.

Someone had entered the shop.

I had no plans of turning around to see who it was.

I completed my last head before I started eating so one of the girls could handle him.

I munched away as a cloud of euphoria surrounded me.

Eating these days brought me so much peace and happiness.

“Chrome? What you doing in here?” Amy questioned.

Hearing his name caused me to slow up eating and wait for his voice to make love to my ears.

Thirty full days of suffering.

My heart felt like it was going to explode from how long it took him to answer a simple inquiry.

I could feel his eyes on me and even smell his cologne.

My body quickly became numb as I heard his steps sound off on the marble floor.

No one in the shop felt the need to say a word.

Before he entered the building, they had so much conversation, now they were quiet as a nun.

Don’t break, Kosha.

He’s just a man.

I watched his arms straddle my chair gripping the arm rest.

Seeing his tattoos brought on memories of how my tongue traced every single one of them before tracing the veins that outlined his dick.

Without realizing it, he’d raised my blood pressure and caused my breathing to become irregular.

Chrasmere…

please spare me, baby.

I don’t need this right now.

I could feel the warmth of his breath on my ear, instantly gaining a reaction out of me.

My eyes closed briefly off the fact that he was so close.

The last time that happened, he had his dick in my guts, and I was calling out his name willingly.

I was afraid of what would happen this go round.

“Four weeks. Thirty fuckin’ days. It take you that long to get the fuck out yo’ feelings?”

“Chrome—”

His right hand was around my throat in one swift motion causing me to tense up fast.

He gave it a light squeeze and said, “You not hard of hearing, Mama. Address me the way I taught you.”

I swallowed the built up saliva and replied with, “Chrasmere, I needed a minute.”

“You trying to insult my intelligence? That’s sixty petty ass seconds and baby you took 2.6 million of those instead. Explain to me what the fuck you think ‘bout to happen between us.”

“Get your hand from around my neck, Chrasmere.”

He released a low growl before his hand occupied the arm rest again. He then kissed my temple and said, “You know I’ll never hurt you, right?”

“Stop acting like it then,” I snapped.

Standing, I placed my food on the counter, grabbed him by the hand, and led him to my office. I was surprised he didn’t object to my silent request.

Once we were behind closed doors, I was pushed against the wall and his tongue parted my lips. I could sense his hunger for me as he tried to swallow my flesh whole. He missed me just as much as I missed him. However, me and him could never be. He caused too many riffs in my household, and he probably wouldn’t understand why or how.

“Stop,” I said pushing him off me.

It took everything in me to do it might I add.

He smirked and took a few more steps back creating a distance I didn’t think I could handle.

For thirty days I questioned how the hell a man over ten years younger than me could have me in a position of missing him.

I knew better than to sit this good pussy on him, but he was so damn irresistible.

Giving him a once over, I approved of his little ensemble.

He was in True Religion jeans with the shirt to match.

His feet were covered in Jordan’s while his jewelry accessorized his ears, neck, and wrist.

The women went crazy over him because he was all of handsome.

When he smiled, the diamonds in his mouth danced letting the people know he spent a pretty penny on them.

He was young and turnt with a dick to beat a heffa down to the ground.

Some would say I was lucky to have him on me the way I did.

“Where the keys to my shit at, Fade?” he questioned.

It took me a minute to move.

I was still mesmerized and fighting the urge to do him right here, right now, in the office.

All I could think about was how good he felt when he had me face down ass up.

Them back shots had a bitch stuck and ready to marry him.

He was dangerous in bed, and I wanted to keep playing with fire.

Finally, my feet listened to the commands my brain was sending.

I sashayed across the room to my desk for his keys in my purse.

They were retrieved and I rounded the corner to give them to their rightful owner.

He held his hand out and when I placed them down in them, he dropped them to grab a hold of my wrist instead.

“Let go, Chrasmere.”

“Why you running from a nigga, Fade?”

“I’m not running. I just know what’s right from wrong, and you…”

“Made you cum so many times all you could do was holler out the nigga name that’s right for you. I told you to accept me before it became an obligation. It’s almost there, baby.”

I loved everything about how this nigga demanded me to be with him.

He was a man who had no problem chasing me or showing certainty.

I was what he wanted and he was starting to display it with so much confidence.

I was sure he could have any woman he wanted but he was sniffing out my mature ass like a little ass puppy dog.

“You asked for a night. I gave you that plus more.”

“It ain’t enough and if you ain’t realize it yet, I’m a greedy muthafucka.”

“Make it enough,” I said heading for the door.

I was able to walk out without being stopped and he followed behind me moments later.

“Chrome, how you get here? We ain’t hear your bike at all,” Henny pointed out.

“I drove Fade shit,” he answered.

Turning around mid-stride, my face balled up as I looked at him with confusion.

“How you drive my shit? You don’t even have a key.”

“I stole it. I mean, I thought that was the type of timing we were on,” he said shrugging his shoulders.

Because I took his car and kept it for so long, he went and got mine.

I couldn’t even be mad at him.

He reacted the way I expected him to.

“Where are my keys, Chrome?”

“I left them on your desk. Stop playing with me, Fade, before I do something to you.” That was all he gave me before he breezed pass me lightly bumping my shoulder.

He was bringing every emotion out of me, and I knew then, he fucked my entire life up.

I wasn’t going to be satisfied until I had him again.

I didn’t bother turning around until I heard the bell on the door sound off.

All I could do was stand there with a soft smirk on my face.

Somehow, someway, that man had me hooked to him like a fuckin’ drug and all it took was one night.

He warned me and I still ignored the heed.

“KoKo, what the hell was that?” Daria asked.

“A nigga that won’t take no for an answer. I’ll be in my office if you need me.” I grabbed my food from my booth counter and retreated to my desk.

My keys sat next to the picture of me and Mel with a note under it.

You look good today, baby.

If you wasn’t acting so fuckin’ dumb, I would’ve sucked on that sweet ass pussy then beat that bitch down.

Now look at you, missing out on good dick.

I tugged on my bottom lip as a pulse formed between my legs.

I could deny not feeling him all I wanted but my body would call me a lie each and every single time.

Houston’s infidelity had to be the best thing that happened to me.

Without his fuck ups, I would’ve never run into Chrome or that bomb ass dick he slutted me out with.

This was not how I envisioned my life in Eastlake, but I damn sure wasn’t complaining.