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Chapter Sixteen

KOSHA

M y nerves were bouncing off the wall and I was unsure as to why.

This wasn’t my first pregnancy, yet I was so scared of what was to come.

It could’ve been that I was up in age and knew how risky this was.

I wasn’t no spring chicken and my body reminded me of it often.

However, I still felt excitement in a sense.

As I lay on the table, I thought about the kind of life I would have with Chrome.

He was the protector he’d been since I first met him.

Even though he was trying to put a white man’s head through the gravel, he was still protecting his crew, his image, his family.

I loved that about him.

He meant everything he said and didn’t double down on shit because his point was made the first go ‘round. I loved that about him the most.

Our child was gon’ have a father that provided them with more than necessities.

They would have a father who provided them with unconditional love and everlasting support.

I could see both of them sharing an unbreakable bond that would make others envious.

He was a man and age didn’t play a factor in this at all.

“Okay. Let’s get a good look at the fetus and try to get a due date. How does that sound?” Dr.

Ballet asked.

“Good. He’s been dying to know when she’ll arrive.”

“He,” Chrome chimed correcting me.

Dr.

Ballet chuckled and said, “I see there’s a debate already. Well, we can find out what you’re having through a blood test. You are well over ten weeks so it’s safe to perform. Would you guys like that or do you want to wait and find out the old school way?”

I looked up at Chrome and he gave me that look.

“We can wait,” I answered.

He wanted results but, I also knew he trusted the process.

“Alrighty. The gel is cold,” she warned.

It caused me to jump a little once it hit my belly, but I was good.

She went to pecking on the keyboard and moving the wand around before she landed on a spot that gave us the purest view of the baby.

“The little nugget is growing perfectly. Would you like to hear something cool?” she questioned.

“Like?” Chrasmere was the first to answer.

“This.” Dr.

Ballet pressed a button and the sounds of our baby’s heartbeat echoed through the room.

It was strong and all my sensitive ass could do was cry.

Chrome showered my face with kisses telling me how much he loved me.

“The fetus is strong you two. Odd time to start over, but the baby and you are healthy. Keep doing whatever you’re doing because come January the twenty-third, you will have yourselves a new edition.”

“Is that the due date, doc?” Chrome inquired with a smile.

“It is. We’re done here for the day. Would you guys like ultrasounds to take home?”

“Hell yeah. Let me see my baby.” Chrome was too excited, and I loved that for him.

He talked to my stomach every night making sure the baby knew his voice.

Seeing the baby was only making his day.

Dr.

Ballet smiled and printed off at least four pictures for us.

The way Chrome couldn’t contain his smile brought me so much comfort.

After all me and this man been through, he just wanted to be there and bask in happiness.

I made him happy.

Our child made him happy.

This was the contentment I looked forward to on a daily basis with him.

“I will see you two next month for the next appointment. Kosha, you’re doing great. You’re Zofran should be ready and if you need more prenatals, just ask for a bottle when you schedule your next appointment. Is there anything else you guys need from me?” Dr.

Ballet inquired as she wiped the gel from my stomach.

“Nah doc, we straight. ‘Preciate you.”

“My pleasure. Have a good rest of your day.”

“You do the same, Dr. Ballet.” I was smiling just as hard as he was.

She stepped out and Chrome showered me with more kisses. I fell in love with affection again all because of him. Houston damaged me and I’d be damned if this man didn’t come and heal me just by knowing what he wanted with me. There was no games or room for me to wonder. He was always making himself and his needs present.

I was helped down off the table and escorted out the room when I got myself together. Chrome never let my hand go and I felt relaxed and safe. With him, I didn’t think anything could go wrong. He handled shit and that made me feel like I could be freer than I’d ever been.

We grabbed my medicine and were out the door. Today was the official meet and greet with his parents. Chrasmere and I had been locked in for a while now, but things were just now starting to settle. It was time to meet them and let them in on the pregnancy. They deserved that much respect. They loved their son, and I was sure they’d love their grandchild as well.

Climbing in the car, I immediately kicked my shoes off and got comfortable. My baby took to the driver’s side, and we were pulling into traffic moments later. The cruise through the city was nice. I was seeing more and more of Eastlake with him. It was nice and quiet for the most part. I could see why people moved here.

The traffic was light, so it didn’t take us long to get to Myers Park. I was still shocked that everyone ‘round this way showed up for him and gave so much love. He was really someone they admired, and he was only twenty-five. They showed me how easy it was to love him if I was being honest. Most came through to reciprocate the dedication and time shown.

I did notice that when we finally came to a stop his bike was parked next door. Him living so close to his parents was crazy. It’s like he left the nest because they made him, but he was never really ready. I couldn’t do shit but laugh. That was the one factor he left out.

“Your parents, are they gon’ chew me up?

Take me home if they are.

Hell, we’re the same age, I won’t tolerate disrespect.

”

“They won’t disrespect you because of their love for me. They won’t disrespect you period because you a grown ass woman and they know how to talk to people. You ain’t got nothing to worry about,” he assured me.

Nodding, he hopped out and came around to help me out.

I was a little nervous, but it was what it was.

My child would be in their care just as much as they would ours.

I had to develop trust and bonds if I wanted a smooth life moving forward.

Walking up to the door hand in hand, I lowkey cowered behind Chrome as he turned the knob.

He was the dominant one in this relationship, and I was just at a space where I didn’t want to stress.

I needed him to take the wheel on this.

Plus, he knew his people best.

If he could control them, I would be good to go.

Entering, the smell of collard greens smacked me dead in the face.

It smelled so fuckin’ good in here.

My stomach felt empty immediately.

However, I knew I couldn’t engage until the dinner.

He wanted us all to eat together including the BMG crew as one.

We were his family and I accepted all that knowing there was no turning back.

“Ma, Pops, where y’all at?” Chrasmere shouted for them.

“In the kitchen baby. Come here,” his mother shouted.

Chrasmere looked back at me and asked, “You straight?” I nodded and he gave me a light kiss on my forehead.

It was exactly what I needed.

I was ushered to the kitchen where his parents sat at the table sharing a glass of wine.

I was so jealous that they got to enjoy alcohol so freely.

I’d been yearning for a glass.

Taking in their features, his mother was exceptionally beautiful, and his father was just as handsome as I imagined him.

Chrome definitely took after him in many ways.

“It’s about time,” his mother said as she bypassed him and came straight to me for a hug.

I hugged her back looking at Chrome to figure out what the hell was going on.

He smirked and shrugged.

“I’m Niecy and this is my husband Chrasmere Sr.”

“You’re a junior?” I questioned Chrome.

“Fortunately. They were too lazy to go through names and find the best one that fit. Pops don’t really like doing too much,” he said throwing shade at his parents.

“Aye, if I have to live with it so do you. Can’t nobody get us confused with a soul though. We’re torn from a different cloth,” his father chimed.

“My son calls you Fade, but I’m sure that isn’t your name.”

“It’s not, it’s Kosha. All of my friends and family call me KoKo though. Feel free to use it as well,” I responded.

“Kosha, I like that. Do you care for a glass of wine?” Niecy asked.

“Uhm, no. Ask me again in January and I’ll gladly accept,” I said not thinking.

The room went quiet as I realized I spilled the beans.

Chrome just sat there smiling shaking his head.

He knew how nervous I was, and this moment showed.

“You’re pregnant?” Niecy inquired stepping back.

“Uh, yeah. Eleven weeks,” I answered in a hushed tone.

They looked at Chrasmere and I could feel the disappointment in the air.

I was older and they probably expected him to bring home something younger.

I couldn’t control where my feelings settled, and they settled on their son.

He was it for me and as much pressure as he applied, I wasn’t gon’ be able to do a damn thing in this city without him.

“She’s knocking on forty’s door. Don’t you think robbing the cradle for a cradle is a lil’ diabolical?” Niecy’s remark offended the fuck out of me.

Chrome said they would be respectful because that was the kind of people they were, but I didn’t catch any of that in this moment.

“She is up in age, son,” Sr.

added.

“I didn’t ask him to get me pregnant. My thing is, why does it matter how old I am and why does it matter who he has a child with? At the end of the day, I don’t need him to do a bitch ass thing for me or mine. I can handle that like the grown woman I am. Are y’all really on that type of timing? Chrasmere give me the keys to my shit so I can go.” I was hurt on the low.

My hormones were already unstable as fuck.

I didn’t need this.

I stood with my hand out, and they all busted out in laughter.

I didn’t find shit funny.

I came to create a bridge so we could have a life where the child had healthy bonds with everyone, where no one got left out the picture.

I was trying…

“Okay, okay. We’re just joking. We’ve already been scolded several times over by Chrome and he would never let us openly disrespect you. You’re carrying our grandchild for heaven’s sake. And to address the age thing, Chrome has always loved older women. I just never thought he would bring one home. Is it weird that we’re like five years apart? Most fuckin’ definitely. However, I have never seen my son so serious about a woman or in love. You changed that for him. Me and Steel were teen parents, so we had to learn early. Chrome is our only child due to unforeseen circumstances, but we care about his health and happiness. If you are that for him, then congratulations and welcome to the family. You’re carrying our blood so what more can we object to.” Niecy gave me an earful, but I was glad to see they had a sense of humor.

She threw her arms around me once again and I hugged her back with a sense of relief.

I wasn’t here to cause a riff in their family.

All I was here to do was love their son.

I could’ve gone without the extra.

“I’m sorry baby. This how they play. They joke all day long and only get serious when necessary. She loves her grandchild already and, in a few months, she’ll love you too. She ain’t mean nothing by it.” Chrome was back to reassuring me, but my sensitive ass didn’t want to hear any of that.

I thought it was mean a little.

“We really do joke all day, Kosha, and my apologies if you took that any other way. We don’t get to love anyone outside of family and BMG, so this is a nice feeling for us. If it makes you feel any better, that was the first and last time we’ll joke like that.” Sr.

was apologetic and I was grateful that they were grown enough to hold themselves accountable.

It showed maturity.

“I appreciate it. If only I could drink, I would down a glass of wine right now,” I responded.

“Look, we’re here and family at the end of the day. We have to grow on each other so that’ll take time. Hell, I need a new girlfriend to actually do shit with. Now, we can hang out and shop for the baby. The food is ready and we ‘bout to head to the clubhouse. I know you’re hungry and I want to be able to feed you properly. Chrome, bring her to the clubhouse.”

I looked to Chrome, and he grabbed me by the hand.

So much happened so fast and I wasn’t sure on what the hell was going on for real.

He escorted me out the house and I was glad he did because the fresh air was needed.

I felt suffocated but also my nervousness was still present.

“What the hell was all that?” I questioned the second we hit the porch.

“I should’ve warned you but I lowkey forgot. Dukes is a softy, and Pops really just go with the flow. They don’t have the option to be that intimidating set of parents because I don’t bring women home. This was them having fun but also breaking the ice. I’m sorry that came off wrong.”

“It did, but I feel better knowing it was just them initiating me into the family. I don’t like mean muthafuckas.”

“I know and once again, I’m sorry. Look, if you really want me to take you home, I will.”

“Nah, I can handle it. If this is your side, I will endure it. Is your crew the same?”

“Nowhere near it. They’ve already accepted you. They just waiting on you to stop by and say hi. Shit, the dinner finna jump anyway so get ready.”

“Baby…”

“You with yo’ nigga, you ain’t got shit to worry ‘bout. I promise a muthafucka ain’t gon’ ever try you. Remember who the fuck shields you.”

Throwing his arm over my shoulder, he pulled me in and walked us back to the car.

A wave of comfortability and security washed over me.

If it wasn’t for him being here, I wouldn’t be as confident as I was.

I knew what we had, and he did as well.

Hell, so did everyone else looking in.

My marriage didn’t work, but I knew this relationship would.

His protection was different and so was the love.

Regardless of me being older, his dominance was what I needed.

I was tired of leading and being the one responsible for everything.

I was finally able to sit back and enjoy life as a woman and mother all thanks to him.

“We locked in, Fade. This shit ain’t gon’ ever end, you hear me?”

“I hear you and I understand. Remember where your loyalty lies, and I will too. I love you.”

“I love you too.”