Page 12

Chapter Twelve

KOSHA

A nother day where I stared at my phone trying to figure out what to say to Chrasmere about the shit that went down.

I wanted to apologize but I didn’t know if he would even answer for me.

I never cowered from rejection but if I called or texted and that man didn’t answer either one, that shit was gon’ fuck me up.

I was already emotional as hell and didn’t want to embarrass myself any further.

“Mama, I have a job interview at Footlocker in the mall later. You think you can take me?”

Ever since that day with Houston, Melanie had been quiet.

She didn’t say much at all, but I did notice the little things like her helping with chores or trying to cook.

Houston fucked my baby up and I didn’t know where to start first with the mending.

“Yeah baby. I have an appointment this morning as well that way so I can wing it. What time?” I asked, dropping my phone in my lap.

“At eleven. I figured I’d get a summer job and save a little before it’s time to move in the dorms.”

“You don’t have to work for anything, Mel. I have more than enough to fund you in college. Have you even decided on where you’re going? You don’t talk to me about anything so…”

“I chose GHU. Uncle Alex and Davis said they’ll help me move in and everything. I didn’t want to go too far.”

“Oh, okay. I didn’t even know you applied there.”

“It was last minute. I uhm, I made some breakfast and coffee if you wanted some.”

“Thank you. I’ll be down in a minute.” She left my room and I felt like everything I said to her in the car was heard.

Her tone was no longer snappy, hostile, or laced with so much attitude.

I didn’t know if things were registering for her or what, but she hadn’t felt the need to give me any back talk whatsoever, not even a simple smacking of the teeth was heard from her.

I hated she had to see or hear any of the bullshit Houston brought but it had to happen for her to open her eyes to reality.

My week had been completely different from Melanie’s.

While she was in her bubble taking it all in, I was going through hell.

I wasn’t able to keep anything down, not even water.

I just knew I came down with some kind of bug or something.

I felt so weak no matter how much I slept.

Finally able to make it out the bed, I headed for the bathroom for a quick wash up.

I’d get my shower after breakfast.

I was praying my body let me ingest something today.

I was hungry as hell and really wanted to pig out.

Taking Mel out to lunch and maybe shopping to ease the tension had been on my mind so I guess it was fitting.

My appointment was at nine-thirty so it wouldn’t interfere with her interview.

I tackled my mouth and face before throwing on my robe and joining Mel downstairs.

She had it smelling nice and just the smell of pancakes had me excited to eat.

Food had been my comfort zone lately and I had absolutely no complaints.

“Thanks, baby. It looks good,” I stated sitting down at the island.

“You’re welcome.” She took a seat beside me and for the first time since we moved here, I felt like she wanted to be near me.

“Mama, why didn’t you tell me what was really going on with Daddy?”

I knew she would question everything from that day.

Houston did entirely too much and probably felt no remorse about it.

That was the kind of nigga he was.

Making others’ lives miserable was fun for him.

I left Atlanta because I knew the kind of life we would’ve had if we stayed.

“I tried but everything that happened needed to because you needed to see your father for who he was. I tell you what you need to know, but I also shelter you from the shit that’ll cause you hurt. Houston has another family and that’s the reality, baby. His new woman doesn’t want you around because you look just like me. You would be nothing but a constant reminder that there was a woman before her.”

“But Daddy?—”

“Is a joke,” I said cutting her off.

I couldn’t let her defend him.

He showed his ass and left like nothing happened.

He didn’t care about her or what she had going on.

“Was everything he said a lie?” she inquired as she played over her eggs.

“Listen, your father won’t say or do anything if it doesn’t benefit him. I called him about your graduation as a courtesy to you because I knew how much that would mean to you. He blocked you from all his socials and changed his number before the divorce was even final. That should tell you something. I don’t harass him because I got this. I didn’t need him then and I damn sure don’t need him now. Everything you have is because of me. I make shit move for you and on occasions, Onyx. Understand who’s in your corner.”

She sat quietly, finally eating.

I knew she was deep in thought because it was a lot to think about.

All the times she defended her father was probably haunting her ass.

Good!

She needed this reality check.

Nothing in life goes the way we plan it and this was one hell of a hurdle she needed to overcome.

“I been thinking, and I just want to say sorry.”

“For?”

“Everything… mostly hating you. I didn’t know how much Daddy didn’t care. I thought you was just doing it to be an asshole.”

“ Tuh. Yeah, sure,” I said filling my mouth with another fork full of pancakes.

“I’m serious, Mama. I don’t remember Daddy being so mean. He was always sweet and taking me places. Whatever I asked for, he’d get it. I just thought you were jealous of our bond and wanted to ruin it,” she confessed.

“I got you whatever you asked for because he would tell me all about your request. My money footed that marriage, not his. I’ve always held my own.” I had to correct these memories of hers.

It was me and always had been.

“I don’t remember him putting his hands on you, either. I’m sorry for letting him do that. I miss my friends from Atlanta, but I’m willing to make it work here for you. I’ll try and stay out of trouble.”

“I don’t need you to do a damn thing for me, Melanie, but start showing some respect. I can handle everything else.” She nodded and we finished breakfast in silence.

She wasn’t nothing but a teenager stepping into adult shit.

The things me and Houston went through wasn’t for her.

However, they both involved one another.

He lied to her any chance he could, and she believed it.

My ex-husband was a clown and me and my daughter wasn’t going to be a part of his circus.

I was too much of a boss to allow it.

Once I was done, I went upstairs and started the shower.

I had an hour to get myself together before it was time to head out.

I went to my closet and rummaged through the pieces hanging.

The weather had been nice lately, so I settled on a simple sleeveless shirt and skirt to match.

I didn’t feel the need to get too dressed up since I was coming directly home after.

My little mini vacation from the shop was coming to an end.

I undressed and hopped in the shower allowing the hot water to coat my body.

It was so refreshing that I made a mental note to schedule a spa day.

I deserved it.

I stood there washing and thinking about Chrome for the umpteenth time.

I just couldn’t get the look of disappointment he wore out of my head.

As a mother, I didn’t want Melanie to see any of that shit that went down.

If she wasn’t there, I would’ve let Chrome do his thing.

However, my child came first.

She wouldn’t be here today if I let that man end Houston that day.

Did I miss him?

Of course I did.

He held me like no other man could and when he kissed me, I felt all the love he had for me.

I missed the smell of his cologne and how it slightly shifted something in me with each inhale.

I missed the way he smiled at me when I caught him staring.

I just couldn’t shake that nigga.

Did he miss me?

That was something I wanted to know desperately.

I fucked up and could admit that, even to him.

I was in a place where any decision I made would hinder me.

Life decided to drop a case of lemons on me and challenged me to turn it to lemonade the way I’d been doing.

The task was impossible and now here I was wondering if I was still the woman he loved.

With my thoughts scattered, the need to call Earl presented itself.

I held it as long as I could while I rinsed off.

I slid the door back and leaned over the toilet letting all the contents from breakfast fill it.

I held onto the back of the toilet for balance.

It was getting to a point where I just wanted them to put a tube in my stomach or something.

I couldn’t take this any longer.

“Mama, are you okay? You’ve been throwing up all week.”

“I’m fine, Mel. I think it’s a bug which is why I’m going to the doctor for some kind of antibiotics or something. Get dressed. I’ll be ready soon.”

“Are you sure it’s a bug?” she questioned.

“That’s all it can be. Get dressed, Mel.”

Nodding, she backed away leaving me alone.

I grabbed the towel off the wall and wrapped up.

I then went to the sink and brushed my teeth once more.

Once I was done, I struggled to get dressed.

I felt as light as a fuckin’ feather.

Nothing about this bug was giving me a break.

I felt like I was in a fight for my fuckin’ life.

The two-piece was on, my skin was moisturized, and even with me being so sick, I still had a glow.

I hit my neck, wrist, and knees with a few pumps of perfume before putting on my jewelry.

I kept my look basic.

So basic I wore some darn slides with my fit instead of heels.

I just wasn’t in the mood.

After grabbing my purse, phone, and keys, I made my way back downstairs.

Mel sat on the couch watching television and texting on her phone.

All I needed was a bottle of water from the kitchen and we could head out.

I snagged a Fiji water from the pantry, checked the stove to make sure it was off, and headed for the door.

“Come on, baby. Let’s go.”

Mel followed me out the door, and I quickly locked up.

We filed in the car and was off.

Eastlake was still new to us.

She might’ve known the streets better than me at this point.

She was always with Chrome’s sister, Harli.

I was starting to like their little friendship.

She was a good influence on Mel, and she was always smiling.

That let me know she had an easy and unproblematic life.

My doctor’s office was across town, so it took us approximately thirty minutes to get through traffic.

I was glad I left on time because I only had a few minutes to spare to check in.

I found a space and parked.

“You coming in?” I asked Mel.

“Uhm, do you want me to?”

“You can. It’s not like I got something contagious. Just come on,” I said climbing out.

We entered the building with a semi full lobby.

Mel went and found a seat while I spoke with the receptionist.

I got checked in and was informed it’ll be a few minutes.

When I took a seat next to Mel, she leaned over and said, “That girl has been staring at you since we walked through the door.”

I looked in the direction she gestured and sure enough, the bitch’s focus was on no one but me.

I sat composed thinking on where I knew her from.

Since I’d been here, I been nowhere but the shop and home.

We did the club scene once, but I didn’t run into no female there.

This bitch was staring me down like I was sitting on a dick that belonged to her or something.

“Can we help you?” Mel spoke up with attitude.

“Nah, I’m just trying to figure out why my nigga fuckin’ with yo’ old ass mama, that’s all,” she replied.

My brows dipped and lip turned up.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard what the fuck I said. This baby belongs to Chrome,” she said placing her hand on her stomach.

I couldn’t lie, that was a blow I wasn’t expecting.

I didn’t know whether I wanted to believe her or not because her stomach was as flat as a damn washboard.

So many thoughts flooded my brain as I gave her a once over.

She was pretty enough to be on his arm, so I didn’t scrap the thought that her and Chrome had dealings before.

However, my curiosity lied with how involved they were now.

“Congratulations. I wish you the best, sweetie,” I lied.

My attachment to Chrome was more than just sex.

My little feelings were involved, and I refused to go through another heartbreak so soon.

“Stop acting like you ain’t bothered, bitch. I see it all over yo’ face. What? You thought just ‘cause he fucked you, you was the chosen one? Nah bitch. He wonders from time to time, but he always comes back,” she said with a smirk on her lips.

“That’s good to know. He loves it here though, so I hope he makes it back this time around. I mean, that nigga can’t stay away from my old ass. Unless, telling me he loves me is something he tells women on the regular…”

“What? He told you he loved you?” she asked with glossy eyes. Oouu, that’s a nerve struck, ain’t it? “Chrome ain’t the loving kind.

”

“Kosha Jordan!” My name was yelled by the nurse bringing our conversation to an end.

“To you. Have a good day, boo,” I said winking and standing.

Mel was right behind me.

I hope she took notes.

Real women handled shit in a classy manner.

I could’ve got rowdy with the bitch and the tussle would’ve gone down in two point five seconds.

However, whooping her ass wouldn’t change the fact that her and Chrome dealt with each other.

All I could trust was his words and actions.

We followed the nurse to a room in the back after my weight was taken.

I took a seat on the table while Mel took the chair.

I knew she had her list of twenty-one questions ready to go but she remained silent while the nurse did the basics: my blood pressure and all that was taken within minutes with her finally asking me my reason for the visit.

“Ms. Jordan, it says you’re here for a virus you might have caught. Has anything changed since you scheduled the appointment?”

“No, I’m still vomiting any and everything. Nothing will stay down, and I feel like I’m losing weight because of it,” I answered.

“Okay. Well, first things first, are you pregnant?”

“No. I would know if I’m pregnant or not. I have one already and am very aware of the symptoms. I think it’s a stomach virus or something.”

“Well, let’s get a definite rule out on the pregnancy. Can we get a urine sample?” she asked removing a cup from the drawer and extending it in my direction.

“Sure. Why not?” I hopped off the table and took the cup.

There was a bathroom in the corner I occupied and got the job done.

Me and Chrasmere were very careless when it came to having sex.

I allowed him to enter my body freely since day one with neither one of us caring about the consequences.

However, I didn’t think I could produce any more kids because I never had any after Mel.

Me and Houston were very active, and another child never popped up.

I took it on the chin and was grateful for being blessed with at least one.

That was why I was so sure I wasn’t pregnant now.

I confidently placed the urine cup in the window, cleaned myself up, washed my hands and exited the bathroom.

I took a seat on the table once again and waited for her to go to the next question.

“If pregnancy isn’t the case, have you eaten anything and felt bad afterward? Food poisoning can be explored next.”

“Uhm, we ate at McDonald’s like a week ago and I just been down ever since. Maybe, that’s it.”

“Alright. Well, I’ve taken note of that. Let me run this by Dr. Ballet and she’ll be in with a solution hopefully. Sit tight,” she said before stepping out.

“Who was that lady, Mama? Why she coming at you like that?” Mel couldn’t wait to get those questions out.

I knew they were burning a hole in her throat.

“I have no idea. Must be somebody Chrome has dealings with. Nevertheless, that’s his problem, not mine,” I answered unbothered by the bullshit.

“She said that baby’s Chrome’s. That don’t make you feel some kind of way? He’s cheating on you, Mama.”

“That could very well be true. I mean, he a man at the end of the day, so I don’t put it pass him. I know I’m not fighting no woman over a man though when there are plenty of fish in the sea. If he’s dealing with her, I know to carry my ass on somewhere else.” I was fighting the urge not to cry.

I had become emotional all of a sudden and it was fuckin’ with me that another woman claimed him.

He looked me in my face and told me he loved me.

He said his feelings were sorted so I took it all in and made a decision to let him love me.

We were good until the shit went down with Houston.

I didn’t think he would play me like that.

Knock, knock !

A series of knocks rang out before the door opened.

In walked a tall slim woman in her white coat with a smile on her face.

She was older in age and looked like she knew what she was doing.

I didn’t have a set OB/GYN because of how new we were to town.

“Ms. Jordan, I’m Dr. Ballet. I hear you’re having a hard time keeping anything down.”

“Yeah. It’s been about a week of the same thing. Is there anything you can give me to settle my stomach so I can eat?”

“The only thing I can prescribe is Zofran. It’s a pill that’ll help with the nausea so you can eat and feed that baby. You are pregnant, Ms. Jordan.”

“What?” Mel and I shouted in unison.

Dr.

Ballet flipped the screen and pointed to the positive pregnancy results.

I sat there staring at the screen as if I didn’t understand a word on it.

She couldn’t have said I was pregnant.

I couldn’t get pregnant…

or so I thought.

It never happened in the seventeen years after Mel.

I was sure I was one and done.

“You are pregnant. Can you tell me when your last menstrual was?” she inquired.

“I don’t know. I’ve had irregular periods since I was a little girl. I think it was before I moved to Eastlake a few months back.”

“Okay, no problem. We can do a vaginal ultrasound then to determine exactly how far along you are.” She stood, grabbed a sheet from the cabinet, and handed it over.

“Undress from the bottom down and we can take a look.”

“Wait… Are you sure it’s positive? It’s been seventeen years, why didn’t I get pregnant during my marriage? Why now?” I was still in shock and refused to believe I was carrying Chrome’s baby.

He already had one on the way.

I didn’t want to join the list in any shape or form.

“Sometimes it takes the right person. Your husband?—”

“Ex,” I quickly corrected her.

“Your ex-husband could’ve produced a low sperm count making it hard for you to get pregnant again. If he’s not up to par, there’s a very slim chance for another pregnancy over the years.”

“He has other kids, though,” I said confusingly.

“Then he stopped ejaculating in you without you realizing it. There’s nothing wrong with you, Ms. Jordan. All of your labs were transferred from Atlanta, and nothing is concerning. I’m seeing that the news is hard to believe, but it’s very much real. If you undress, we can make this even realer with an ultrasound.”

This was too much for me to take in all at one time.

On one hand, I was questioning the shit Chrome told me and now I was trying to figure out how the hell I winded up pregnant for him.

As much as he nutted in me, I should’ve had common fuckin’ sense that this could be a result.

However, my marriage changed my point of view on children.

I stepped down off the table and entered the bathroom.

I was shaking at this point.

I was nervous as fuck.

Chrasmere was supposed to be a one night thing and only fun.

He wasn’t supposed to be in my life making it more complex than it was.

I had a child that was going off to college in a matter of months.

I didn’t need a reset button on motherhood.

I was thirty-seven years old, that screamed nothing but high risk.

Undressing, I wrapped the sheet around me and took a seat on the table.

She’d set it up to where I could lay back comfortably while she performed the ultrasound.

“Lay back and place your feet in the slots. This will give us an almost accurate estimate on how far along you are. The fetus will show here on the screen.”

I followed her instruction and allowed her to do her thing.

The wand she used was inserted and like she stated, the baby appeared on the screen as she pressed against my cervix.

Tears fell silently as I eyed the screen.

Lately, my hormones had been out of whack, and I found myself emotional more than usual.

This damn baby was the cause of it.

“Mama… what in the hell?” Melanie asked as she rushed to the monitor.

She was saying exactly what I wanted to.

“You’re pregnant for real.”

“You’re seven weeks to be exact. Congratulations, Ms. Jordan. Right now, there are no concerns other than the weight. The Zofran will allow you to eat and pick that back up in no time,” Dr.

Ballet spoke joyously while I was still trying to process what the hell was going on.

“What you gon’ do, Mama? Are you really gonna have another baby?”

“It looks like I am,” I said busting out in a full cry.

I couldn’t believe that nigga trapped me.

Not once did he know what the fuck it meant to pull out and not once did I stop him.

I just loved the feeling of him and look what that good of a feeling got me.

Thirty-seven with a seven-week-old fetus.

What a fuckin’ joke.

“If you want to explore other options, Ms. Jordan, you can. I see how overwhelming this is, so I’ll give them to you if you’d like,” Dr.

Ballet suggested.

“Please,” I answered before she could finish her sentence good.

“Not a problem. We have a pharmacy here so if you’d give us thirty minutes to get it filled, you could be on your way right after. For now, you can get dressed and one of the nurses will bring you a Zofran tablet so when you do leave, you can grab something to eat and actually enjoy it.”

“Thank you, Dr. Ballet.”

“Of course. When you check out, they’ll have a packet for you with other options regarding the pregnancy.” She stood and took her leave.

Mel grabbed my hands and helped me sit up.

She occupied the seat she did earlier while I went and changed.

Nothing about Eastlake was giving me a break.

In the few months that I’d been here, I’d dealt with more bullshit than in the thirty-seven years I lived in Atlanta.

My God all I wanted was a simple, and peaceful life.

I didn’t understand why all this wanted to happen to me when I was damn near forty years old.

I walked out and the nurse was back with the pill Dr.

Ballet prescribed.

I took it and grabbed my things.

I decided to wait in the lobby for the full prescription.

When we returned, the chick that was running off at the mouth was gone.

I was thankful for it because I did not feel like going back and forth with her again.

While we waited, I texted Onyx and told her to come to the house.

She stated she would tonight before she linked with Zinc.

Those two came out of left field but I was happy she was having fun with him.

She was very outgoing, and he seemed to be the same.

If he was around Chrome, I had no doubt in my mind he behaved just like him.

Twenty minutes flew by, and we were finally leaving with my packets and pills.

I wasn’t doing shit but eating and sleeping when I got home.

Melanie’s interview couldn’t happen on a worser day.

Both of my kids were running me ragged, and one had no clue about it.

&

“Bestie. Bestie!” I was awakened by Onyx’s voice and her shaking me back and forth.

I finally had the feeling of fullness which gave me the itis and I was out like a light after.

Her waking me up was rubbing me wrong already.

“I’m up, I’m up,” I said throwing the covers back.

“Cool. Can I borrow your YSL heels? The nude ones.” She was already searching for them before I could give her an answer.

“Why do you need my heels Onyx? Where you going?” I sat up in bed and watched her damn near tear my closet apart.

“Chrome’s birthday party. Speaking of, why ain’t you dressed? His party started like an hour ago.”

Birthday?

He’s that mad at me that he didn’t invite me to his birthday party?

Tears formed and I wiped them away swiftly before they could fall.

My feelings were hurt, I couldn’t’ lie.

I didn’t think he would shut me out on a day like this.

I owed him an explanation as well as an apology.

I was guessing he wasn’t budging until he got it which meant I was losing out on moments of his like this.

“I didn’t know,” I mumbled.

“Didn’t know what? Found them!” She stepped out the closet with the shoes in tow.

She dropped them to the floor and slipped her feet inside.

She then ran to my mirror and gave herself a onceover.

“ Mhmm .”

“I didn’t know about his birthday or his party. I haven’t spoken to him since that day at the shop.”

“What? You ain’t called him to smooth shit over yet? What the hell you waiting on?” She was confused and it showed.

Her brows were dipped, nose was scrunched, and lips were turned up.

Onyx was slightly different from me.

Whenever she fucked up, she owned it.

Accountability was easy for her.

She grew up with her father teaching her how honest people behaved.

I, on the other hand, had a hard time getting over the embarrassing prideful window.

I didn’t have a problem apologizing, I had a problem with the timing of it.

It had been a week, and I was scared to even say a word to Chrome even though I knew I needed to.

“Do you think I should just let it be and let him find someone his age? I got a lot going on right now, especially with my child.”

“Girl what? You and Chrome are cute together and he don’t play about you at all. He really fuck with you. Why you tripping?”

I reached over and grabbed the packet from the doctor’s office.

She was a sister, not a friend so telling her about the baby was only right.

Hell, she would be gaining another godchild anyway.

Chrome’s love wasn’t one sided at all.

I loved him and possibly the child I was carrying as well.

My thoughts on the baby had yet to settle.

Nonetheless, I knew how I felt about him.

Rejection just scared the fuck out of me and now that the baby was involved, our picture was no longer black and white.

Onyx grabbed the packet and emptied the contents.

The first thing she read over was the doctor’s summary.

Pregnant was highlighted and in bold letters.

She dropped the papers and covered her mouth as her eyes grew big as saucers.

The time of being shocked was over for me.

However, she was just joining the party.

“Are you serious?” she asked in a hushed tone.

“Very. Seven weeks and I still don’t have a clue on what to say or do.”

She noticed the brochures and picked them up examining them one by one.

She didn’t want children but loved on Melanie like her own.

She didn’t hesitate or drop the ball when called.

She took her role serious, and I loved her for that.

One by one, she tore up the abortion clinic brochures.

She always expressed how kids were blessings even though they didn’t suit her personally.

“You gon’ get dressed and take yo’ ass to that nigga party, apologize, then tell him you’re pregnant for him. I’m confused on what the fuck else there is to do or say,” she snapped.

“He’s twenty-five, Onyx. What the hell is my old ass doing carrying his baby?”

“I wish you would get the fuck off how old that nigga is and focus on the right shit. Age never defined nothing ‘bout a nigga, it always been how he treated you. Who the fuck cares that he’s ten plus years younger than you? He’s protected you better than the last, he’s treated you better than the last, and he damn sure loves you better than the last. That man was ready to catch a body over you. If you don’t wake the fuck up and check the facts, I know something. He’s not Houston, Kosha. Get yo’ shit together and fix whatever the fuck needs to be fixed because you gon’ lose him and I’ll hate that for you. Melanie had a father, let this child have theirs as well.”

Tears raced down my face the entire time she vented.

There wasn’t a lie told, and I knew it was only a matter of time before Chrome said the hell with me.

Pregnant or not, I didn’t want to lose him.

My entire being was at ease with him.

That kind of peace was a need, not a want.

He was needed.

“You think he’ll hear me out?”

“Yes. He likes you too much not to. Get dressed and meet me downstairs. Oh, does Mel know?”

“Yup. She hasn’t voiced how she feels about it yet, but she was with me when I found out. I feel like I’m in the twilight zone, Onyx.”

“Don’t. Just deal with one situation at a time. Now get dressed.” She grabbed my hands and pulled me up.

I stepped off the bed and entered my closet.

I was still in and yucky mood, so I settled on a cute dress and pair of heels as well.

It was his birthday after all.

The least I could do was show up in something that he would approve of.

It took me a little over forty-five minutes to get myself together.

The shower was what took the longest.

I made my way downstairs and found Onyx in the living room putting his gifts in bags.

“I don’t have anything to give him, bestie. Maybe I should just stay home.”

“Nope. I just ran to the mall and bought him a watch while you were in the shower. You owe me seven thousand dollars bitch. This Cartier watch wasn’t cheap.”

“Thank you for doing that. I really appreciate you. I’ll give it to you next week.”

“Cool with me. Let’s go. I’m already late. I been telling Zinc I was on the way for two hours now. You look cute, too. I like that green on you.”

“Thanks.” I grabbed a bag from her, my keys out the foyer bowl, and followed her out the door.

We hopped in our own cars and headed out.

I didn’t have a clue as to where Chrome and his crew were from, so I had to follow behind Onyx.

We drove for about fifteen minutes before we pulled into a neighborhood named Myers Park.

From what I was gathering, he was deep in the hood.

It made sense with the way he spoke and all.

Cars were lined up as soon as we hit one particular road.

People were walking down to a certain area which I assumed was designated for the party.

I called Onyx and told her to call Zinc about the parking.

She reassured me he’d make sure we could get in and out without hiccups.

He directed us to park in the middle of the road and one of the BMG members would get us right.

I didn’t move or step out my vehicle until someone from the crew showed.

This was a place I didn’t know a damn thing about.

I wasn’t that naive to trust a nigga words so easily.

Onyx walked back to my truck and got me once they took her car.

I gave my keys to someone whose vest said Cobalt and he followed Zinc’s orders.

“Zinc wants us to meet him at the bottom. I knew we in heels, but we got to make it work.”

“I can handle it,” I said strutting across the gravel.

We hit the sidewalk and made our way down to the bottom where the crowd was so thick you would think there was a celebrity performing or something.

The DJ was playing the jams, and the folk seemed to be having a good time.

As soon as we spotted Zinc, Onyx dragged us over to him.

“My bad baby, I got caught up intaking shots with bro. Y’all straight?”

“Yeah, we good. Where do you want us to put his gifts?” bestie inquired.

“I’ll put them in the crib. I ain’t even ‘bout to chance y’all shit out here. Walk with me,” he said grabbing Onyx’s free hand.

Chrome was a loved individual.

There were many females in attendance.

With every two broads was one nigga.

He brought his hood out and they were having a ball.

Everybody had a cup in hand, and they seemed to be unbothered by the next person.

I guess I could relax more knowing no one was on that type of timing.

When we finally got through a section of the crowd, I scanned the next group of people.

To my surprise, I saw him wrapped up in the bitch from the doctor’s office.

So much for me wanting to talk and fix things.

The bitch said he always went back, and I’d be damned if she didn’t give a bitch proof.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I fought tooth and nail to keep them at brink.

I didn’t want no female thinking she won over me.

“Awh, damn. Aye sis, he?—”

Zinc was trying to cover for him, but I didn’t need him to.

I had eyes and could see just fine.

“It’s okay, Zinc. I already know,” I said referring to what the bitch told me earlier today.

“Bestie, we can go. Just say the word,” Onyx voiced.

“No, you stay. I’ll go.” However, my feet wouldn’t let me move and it became harder and harder to tear my gaze away from them.

With her hand on his chest, his arm wrapped around her neck, and whatever he was telling her, had me ready to call Earl.

I was sick all over again.

Finally, he backed away from her and headed in our direction.

The bottle of liquor he held was brought to his lips as he breezed pass me like he didn’t give a fuck about me.

I mean, he didn’t give me a second glance and that crushed me.

Those tears I held back for so long had finally fallen.

This was the rejection I was afraid of.

“Here Zinc, tell him I said happy birthday. If you can tell whoever that took my car to bring it to the top of the street, please. I love you, bestie, and I’ll call you when I get home.”

I handed the gift over and turned to leave.

“Wait, bestie. I’ll walk you up there.”

“Sis, that ain’t what it look like. He don’t fuck with that girl,” he said trying to convince me that what I witnessed wasn’t that.

I said nothing as I pushed through the crowd once more.

It was what it was, and he made his decision, now it was time to make mine.

I may have fucked up, but I didn’t turn to another nigga.

Men were going to be men no matter the age.

I knew that and still played the damn fool for him.

I was over this entire Eastlake move that fast.

My car was at the top of the street waiting for me and I was glad Onyx didn’t try to talk me out of leaving.

After exchanging a hug, she stepped back and allowed me to climb inside.

“I’ll come see you tomorrow. I love you.”

Nodding, I pulled off and the waterworks started.

I was thirty-seven, crying over a twenty-five-year-old.

I was thirty-seven carrying a child for a man who could flip women like a light switch.

I was thirty-seven getting embarrassed by a nigga that clearly didn’t give a fuck about me.

This move was supposed to be a fresh start, yet I felt like I was still going through the same motions I did in Atlanta.

Focus on yourself, KoKo.

These niggas ain’t never gon’ be loyal.