Page 27 of Choosing Her

saylor

I thought Crossy would get tired of carrying me as soon as we hit the first floor, but he let me stay on his back the whole way through the house and the backyard.

He had to elbow people aside as we walked past the outdoor pool—because, of course this house had two pools, along with a hot tub—and there was a near slip as we went down the wooden steps at the back of the house that led onto the beach, but we made it in one piece.

Crossy put me down once we were on sand and I took my heels off, letting my bare feet dig into the ground as a breeze blew by.

I closed my eyes and breathed in the salty night air, loving the peacefulness I felt down here compared to at the party.

The beach would fill up with people in the next hour, I was sure, as everyone came down to watch the fireworks, but for now, there was just me and him for the whole stretch that I could see. ”

I walked toward the water, with the straps of my high heels hooked between my fingers and my hair blowing loose from the wind.

“Planning to go for a swim?” he asked.

“Just want to feel how cold it is,” I said. I poked a toe in, half-expecting it to be freezing and was surprised that it was almost comfortable. “You ever do a polar plunge before?”

I glanced over my shoulder and saw him kick off his own shoes, so he could join me. Together, we both walked into the water until it was over the tops of our feet.

“No,” Crossy said. “Is it fun?”

I shrugged. “Depends on your definition of fun, I suppose. When I was a kid, my parents used to make us do a polar plunge in the backyard. We'd have to swim the length of the pool, and then if you got across, you could go in the hot tub to warm up."

"And if you didn't get across?" Crossy asked.

"I guess you'd just drown," I told him. And then I smiled.

I had some memories like that, those early day ones, where everything about my family hadn't seemed so bad.

Before Naomi had grown up and outgrown me.

Before my parents had decided that their careers mattered more than their family.

It was nice to look back on them, to tell them the stories without him knowing who I was talking about.

He didn't know the way that it all went wrong afterward. All he would know was the good parts.

"Maybe I should convince my family to do that this year," he said. "When do you usually do it?"

"New Year's Day," I said. "That's what made me think of it.”

My chest felt heavy as I stared out at the calm water and thought about all those traditions we wouldn’t be having this year.

Granted, we hadn’t done them in many years, but every holiday season, I hoped we could reclaim some of the magic that we’d had when I was growing up.

Reading Twas The Night Before Christmas as a family on Christmas Eve.

Having dinner as a family on Christmas Day instead of going off to some lavish party where I knew almost nobody.

Counting down to the new year together. Instead, my parents were at some no-kids-allowed party, my sister was in a random guy’s pool, and I was standing on a beach with a total stranger.

I’d already been trepidatious enough when I heard we’d be coming to Florida for the holidays instead of staying back home, but I thought we’d at least all be together.

“You’re not from around here, are you?” Crossy asked.

I shook my head. “Just visiting for the holidays. You?”

“Me too,” he said. He dragged a foot through the water, making it ripple. “Visiting my cousins. That’s who I lost to one of the rooms upstairs.”

I’d already forgotten that he was up there looking for someone, in the same way that I’d all but forgotten about Naomi.

“I wonder if they’re looking for us,” I mused. “Not sure my sister would think to look on the beach.”

“I’m sure my cousin is having the time of his life and has completely forgotten that I’m here at all,” Crossy said.

Even though I felt the same way about Naomi, I felt strangely bad for him.

At least, she was my sister, who I lived with and had to see every day.

If he was only here to visit his cousins, I assumed they didn’t see each other much and this was how he wanted to spend their limited time together?

“Let’s keep walking,” I said. “I want to collect seashells.”

The suggestion probably sounded idiotic, but Crossy smiled at me like it was the best idea he’d ever heard anyway, and we walked.

I kept waiting for him to ask me where I was from—the natural question after someone said they were visiting for the holidays—and I was both surprised and grateful when he didn’t.

I didn't want to be Rebecca, daughter of Halston and Louise Saylor. I didn’t want to be known as the daughter of one of the greatest hockey coaches in the NHL or a rich socialite.

I didn’t even want to be the younger sister of Naomi.

Right here and now, I just wanted to be Saylor.

And Saylor wasn’t from Ontario. She didn’t go to Hartwell Academy. She wouldn’t be off to some prestigious university in a year and a half.

I was just Saylor and he was just Crossy. I was just a girl and he was just a boy, and for that one night, everything in life was truly that simple.