Page 4 of Cheshire’s Smile (The Crimes of Alice #3)

Cheshire’s words reverberated through me.

They hated me. Carban and Coby hated me.

I didn’t have all my memories of the twins. And yet, I knew them. My heart knew them. My body knew them. I could still feel their bodies pressed against mine. Hear their voices in my ears.

Did I remember the first time I met them? No. Did I remember any other times with them besides our time under the stars? Unfortunately, also no. But it didn’t lessen the squeeze that had a hold around my heart at knowing that they hated me.

I could hardly blame them. From what I knew, they had been punished, just like Cheshire and Hatter had, for my actions.

The fae didn’t believe in only punishing those who committed the crime.

They didn’t care that it had been my choice to go along with the Shadow Man’s plan.

They also didn’t care that I’d been tricked.

All that mattered was my actions that ended with the Seelie Princess dead. My males were punished by association.

It was my fault. The fact that Hatter and Cheshire didn’t hate me was a miracle.

My eyes locked with Cheshire’s bright green eyes. My heart thudded in my chest. My fingers curled and uncurled, sweat dampening them.

“Do you... hate me?”

Cheshire’s eyes softened. He cupped my face with his hand, clawed fingers brushing my cheek. “No, pet. I do not hate you.”

“Why not?” I leaned into his palm, eyelashes fluttering. “I know I would be livid if I was in your position. I don’t blame them for hating me. So why don’t you?”

He yanked me against him. His body pressed to mine. I could feel his heart beat against my palm on his chest. Cheshire’s hand tipped my chin up to peer into my eyes.

“You misunderstand me.” He stroked my lower lip with his thumb. “Was I angry? Yes. Upset, confused. Of course. But I could never hate you, Alice. If I had been in your position, I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same thing.”

“You would?”

“Lovely, I know how it feels to be used and thought of as nothing but a joke to those around you.” The hand on my hip squeezed slightly. “No one would be surprised that you would rather stay here in the fae world than go back to the human realm.”

My lips ticked up. “You did make it impossible to leave without leaving a piece of me behind.”

Cheshire hummed. He pulled my lower lip down before releasing it.

I licked my lip, tasting where his thumb had been.

Cheshire’s eyes darkened. “You were offered a chance to stay here with us. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you with me. Even make a deal with the Shadow Man.”

I pushed up on my toes, my nose brushing his. “To be fair,” I murmured, “I didn’t know it would kill her.”

“Of course not, kitten.” His hand cupped the back of my neck, tightening just so that a small moan released from my throat. “It was an accident.”

“And yet,” my lips traced his full ones, “they hate me.” I dropped back onto my feet, pulling away from the almost kiss. “Why do they hate me? Do they blame me for their punishment? I didn’t know. I didn’t remember them until a few minutes ago.”

Cheshire pulled me back to him, keeping me from going off on a tangent.

“Shhh. Shhh. I know. I know.” He rubbed up and down my arms. “You didn’t remember me either. I may be more forgiving than most, but the moment I found out you didn’t remember me, I knew there was more to the story. You didn’t abandon us. You didn’t know.”

“Is that it?” I cocked my head to the side. “They think I abandoned them?”

His brows loosened, and he glanced off to the side, a forlorn expression on his face.

“You have to understand, love. We didn’t know what happened.

One moment, we were happy. We finally had you in our arms, and then the next, we are waking up to you missing.

We searched everywhere for you and, when we finally found you, the prince’s guards were hauling you away. ”

“But—”

“Yes, I know.” Cheshire’s eyes dropped back to me. “You did it to stay with us, but they don’t know that. They think you got what you wanted and then left us to clean up the mess.”

“That’s not what happened.” My lips pursed together, brows scrunched.

“I know that now, but they still think you were released and never came for them. How does that look to you?”

A fist clenched around my heart. “Like I didn’t want them anymore.”

“Exactly.”

“But that’s not true.” I stomped my foot and scowled. “I just remembered them. How can they hold that against me?”

Everything was getting all turned around. I expected the whole of the Underground to be against me after what I did. I never in a million years thought I would have to convince the males that had a hold on my heart to believe me.

It wasn’t like I didn’t understand. If I’d been in their shoes, watching me being taken away by guards and then being punished themselves? I would be confused, hurt, furious.

I didn’t blame them for hating me. Even I hated me a little bit for what I did.

Their hatred made things a lot more complicated.

Not only did I have to find Hatter and find a way to save the Underground, but I had to convince two fae who had been with me from the very beginning to stand by me again. Even if they hated me. Even if they never wanted to see me again.

I wouldn’t let them continue to suffer for the crimes I committed.

“Alice?” Cheshire cupped my chin. “What are you thinking?”

I placed my hand on top of his with a sad smile. “I think we need to go to the Shadow Realm and save our gentlemen.”