Page 16 of Cheshire’s Smile (The Crimes of Alice #3)

The Tweedles could have stepped out of the magic-induced dream from the Bandersnatch. I didn’t know if the Bandersnatch had used my own memories of them or if they had created the Tweedles on their own.

Either way, the dream version of Coby and Carban was nothing on the real-life fae males.

Their brown hair had grown longer than in my dream. One had his hair pulled up into a messy bun on the top of his head. This one was Carban. The hard set of his eyes, the tight line of his jaw, every bit of him showed a hatred so much more intense than his brother’s.

I knew that intensity. I’d felt it on my skin as I slid down on his length. My body tingled at the memory. I curled and uncurled my fingers into fists, letting out a long breath.

Coby left his hair loose around his shoulders. His green eyes held just as much ire in it as his brothers, and yet there was a softness in them. It was as if he fought against his own emotions.

They wore matching form-fitting pants that my hands itched to touch and discover if they were as soft as they looked. Unlike the dream, Carban wore a long-sleeved cream-colored tunic that pulled over his chest, as if there was too much male to be retrained by such a small piece of fabric.

Coby had forgone a shirt all together. The warm tan stretch of skin across his muscles made my mouth dry. I wanted to drag my hands and mouth down it, to see if it was as wonderful as I remembered. My gaze shifted up to his lips where they fought against a smirk.

“So it’s true,” Carban’s voice came out so harshly that I winced. “You were released.”

“Oh, brrr. I feel a little animosity here.” Morgana cocked her hip, leaning her mouth closer to me. “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back. We can have these two on their knees in seconds.”

“No.” I shook my head. “They won’t hurt me.”

I could feel the burn of the Tweedles’ gazes on me. If they ever loved me before, they certainly didn’t now. Even with all their loathing directed at me, the very fact that they were here, they were looking at me. It made a piece of my heart I didn’t know was missing fill with emotion.

“Alright,” Morgana drew out. “If you’re sure. I’ll just go over here. I don’t do drama.”

I barely noticed her slink off to the little hill where she threw herself down on the ground, not at all worried about dirtying up her dress. My eyes were focused solely on the two males before me.

Cheshire and I had struggled and fought to get to this point — to find them — and now that they were standing before me. I was at a loss for words.

How did one even make up for leaving them trapped for a hundred years? What did I even say? There were no words that would make everything alright. No words to make the last hundred years disappear. So, I didn’t try to make up for it.

“Hello, Carban. Coby.” I rubbed my hands together before lacing them in front of me. “Technically, it was more of a springing than a release.”

Carban snorted. His biceps bulging as he crossed his arms. “And yet you have been running around for over a year.”

A single step forward. I stopped. My mouth opened and then closed.

“What? Nothing to say for yourself?” Carban snapped.

If I wasn’t so confounded by how much I had hurt them, I’d comment on how much more he was talking than Coby. The latter was usually the chattier of the twins. Had they really changed so much in their time here? Or was it because of me?

Releasing my hands, I flexed my fingers before taking a few shaky steps forward.

“There are many things I could say. None of them would make any of what has happened better. It wouldn’t turn back time and make me not make that deal with the shadows.

It would keep you and the others from being punished for my choices. ”

“You’re right, it won’t,” Carban growled, his steps hard on the ground as he stalked forward.

My body tensed, unsure of his intentions. Every part of me screamed that Carban wouldn’t hurt me.

His hand wrapped around my throat and jerked me forward until his nose bumped against mine.

“You disgust me. You are the most selfish, manipulative, worthless creature I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.” His hand tightened on my throat, not quite choking me but enough that I felt the pinch of his fingers. “I wish we had never saved you.”

My eyes burned at his words. My chin trembled. Those words stabbed me straight through the heart and to my very core.

Every word he said was the same I’d told myself repeatedly during those first few decades of imprisonment. The same ones that had echoed in my head this last year. Even when I helped Kat save the Underground. Even with Hatter by my side every night.

I deserved all his words and more. I didn’t deserve to have them back. I’d left them. Forgotten them. The fact that they hated me now was my own personal karma come back to bite me.

Carban’s hand loosened, his eyes softening.

I sucked in a breath and shoved my emotions deep down. I forced the tears back and put a smug grin onto my lips. I hoped it reached my eyes even as my heart was breaking.

“You’re right.” Power poured into my palm, and I slapped it against his arm, knocking him back a few steps.

“I used you. All of you. I ran around from my problems and then when the first opportunity arose, I choose me. You were just...” I glanced over the two males before me, a sneer curling my lips. “Collateral damage.”

“I told you,” Carban threw over his shoulder. “She wasn’t worth it.”

I built a wall around my heart. But not quick enough. His words hit.

She wasn’t worth it.

She wasn’t worth it.

I wasn’t worth it.

Squaring my shoulders, I turned away from the twins to find Morgana sitting up a concerned frown on her lips. "Let’s go. I don’t need to rest. Eugene is waiting for me.”

Morgana didn’t question my sudden change. She simply stood and lit the flame in her hand once more, ready to move forward.

I forced my hands to uncurl from the tight fists they’d become. My chin lifted, shoulders back, ready to walk out of their lives forever.

“Wait.” Coby rushed up beside Carban, who shot his brother a warning look. Coby blew out a breath and focused a hard look on me. “Why are you here?”

“Bet she is being punished again. What did you do this time?” Carban scoffed with a smug tug of his lips.

Coby shot a glare at his brother. “Did you see Cheshire? Did he get out? Is he okay?” His nose sniffed the air and his eyes widened. “You smell like him. Tell us where he is.”

For someone who was mad at me, Coby had a lot of questions. Questions I wasn’t sure I wanted to answer. They hadn’t shown that they even cared about how I was doing after all this time. Not that I expected them to now.

Even so, I couldn’t let them worry about Cheshire. Not knowing what happened to them had been one of the worst parts of being imprisoned. Before I lost all memory of them, that is. It was the worst kind of torture to not know if your loved ones were okay.

“Cheshire is fine,” I said with a neutral tone. “He is probably with Eugene now.”

“What?” The two of them shouted in unison.

Coby stumbled forward. “He’s back here? Already. What happened? I thought Hatter got him out.”

I tugged on my tea gloves. “It’s a long story.”

“Then we’re coming with you.” Carban stepped forward with his brother.

Lifting and dropping my shoulders, I glanced at Morgana. “That’s not up to me.”

Morgana gave me a questioning look as if to ask if I was really okay with this. When I nodded, she huffed.

“Fine. But don’t dally.” She turned on her heel, muttering under her breath about charging for her services from now on.

I was vividly aware of the twins walking behind me as we followed Morgana through the mist. To distract myself, I played with the color of my gloves, seeing how many shades of green I could remember before I realized I had settled on the exact shade of their eyes.

I shook my hand, and it turned back to its usual pale blue.

“So that’s the ability you betrayed us for?” Carban grunted from behind.

My shoulders tensed. I drew in a breath and blew it out, forcing myself to remain unbothered. “You have to admit it is useful.”

There was a long stretch of tense silence. Then Coby spoke in a low voice.

“You kept our clothes.”

Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I nodded. “Yes. I did.”

Even when I didn’t know who they were, I knew the clothing was important. Of course, I didn’t know why. I had simply told myself it was because it was a flattering outfit, and there was no point in changing it, outside of dealing with the Human Realm.

“We should charge you for that,” Carban growled, his body heat so close that it burned against my back. “Do you know how expensive orcbones are? How delicate and fragile they are? Fae have killed for our work, and seeing you walk around in it is a damn near tragedy.”

The urge to snap back at him was large in my chest, but I swallowed down the words. “I’ll write you a check,” I primly responded with instead.

That silence came roaring back and, suddenly, I would rather have them yelling at me than this debilitating quiet.

Coby broke the silence this time. “So why are you back, Aly?”

Hearing him say my nickname almost threw me over the edge. My fingers tightened into fists at my side. I tried to ignore the concerned look Morgana kept sending my way.

“Like I said, it’s a long story.” My voice was thick with emotion, and I hoped they couldn’t pick up on it.

“Well, it’s a long walk,” Morgana interjected unhelpfully. “I too would like to know what could possibly have sent the Great Pretender to the Shadow Realm.”

I snorted at the name.

Great Pretender. It was such a silly name. I preferred Trip’s name for me—Bad Lady. At least it made sense. I’d done something bad and the name said it. ‘Great Pretender’ implied I was pretending to be something I’m not.

I might have had a human heart, but my body was fae through and through. I was more aware of this than anyone after sitting for a hundred years with no food or water and not dying. We prisoners survived off the barest amounts of human dreams while the rest of the fae thrived.

The fact that I could go without food or water for this long while searching for Hatter had actually worked in my benefit. If only I didn’t need sleep. And maybe a hug.

I missed Hatter and Cheshire’s arms around me. Especially with Carban and Coby taking shots at me at every turn.

Building that wall back up around my heart, I told them why I had come.

“Hatter is here.”