Page 9

A fter what happened with Chaz, sleep didn’t come easily for Lottie. She spent the entire night tossing and turning, unable to stop thinking about him. Sleeping in his house only made it worse because she knew his sexy ass was so close. She only had to walk a few feet down the hall and she’d be in his room. The temptation to slip inside under the cover of darkness and crawl into his bed, straight into his warm embrace, was nearly her undoing.

The next morning, Lottie was dragging. And it was the kind of tired not even coffee and sunshine could fix. No, the only thing that could cure her was another orgasm from the big man.

They’d walked down to the park and she glanced over where Chaz leaned against a nearby tree—giving her privacy, but still keeping a close watch on her—and she hated that he was keeping his distance. It’s best this way , she told herself. But if that were true, why was she having so many doubts?

Her body responded to him in a way it never had before with anyone else. Granted she’d only been with two other men—a high school boyfriend and then Andy—but they hadn’t made her body sing like Chaz. He knew exactly where and how to touch her, and his kisses were beyond compare. Deep, thorough and delicious. His touch had awakened something deep inside her that she’d ignored since running back home and becoming a mother.

And she’d pushed him away because he hadn’t instantly dropped down on one knee and proposed marriage.

“Am I an idiot?” she asked softly, lifting Reya out of her stroller and placing her in one of the baby swings at the park. All he’d said was he wanted to take things slow. A perfectly understandable request. Except she knew for a fact he didn’t want to ever get married again or have children. And she didn’t want to be the reason for his unhappiness.

No, it was best to stop things before they actually started. Before he managed to make her fall in love with him.

At least that’s what she kept trying to convince herself.

Confusion filled her as she pushed the swing, listening with half an ear to Reya’s giggles. Her mind wandered, only coming back to reality when Reya tired of the swing. As Lottie transferred her back into the stroller, she nuzzled the top of her head, inhaling her lingering soft baby scent mixed with the sweat of a fun day outdoors. She knew this time wouldn’t last forever, and she reminded herself to be grateful for it. They had each other and always would. Even if it would always just be the two of them.

Since they were close to her apartment, she wanted to check the mail. Bills would still need to be paid, and the walk over would be a good distraction. After securing Reya, she pushed the stroller over to Chaz.

“Do you mind if we walk down to my place so I can check the mail and grab a few more things?” she asked.

“Sure,” he grunted. He was being so quiet, keeping his distance, and she felt awful.

Her heart clenched as they walked down the sidewalk. The easy rapport she and Chaz had up until last night was gone. Tension and strain filled the silence between them. And it was all her fault. It seemed like whatever decision she made was wrong and someone was going to wind up hurt. With a soft sigh, she reminded herself the choices she made were to protect her heart and, of course, her daughter.

“Pom-poms!” Reya squealed, pointing to a cluster of dandelions growing in the grass.

Lottie paused, picked one and handed it to Reya. “Make a wish,” she reminded her, and the little girl closed her eyes and blew hard, her lips sounding like a motorboat. Not all the seeds came loose and she frowned.

“You have to blow harder than that,” Chaz said, bending over to pluck another one.

“Maybe Chaz can help you, honey,” Lottie suggested. Before the words left her mouth, the big man was already kneeling beside the stroller, joints cracking, and he lifted the dandelion up between him and Reya.

“Ready? One, two, three!” They both blew hard and all the tufts went flying through the air. “Good job, Nugget.”

“Did you remember to make a wish?” Lottie asked. Reya nodded and clapped while Chaz looked up at Lottie. Heat briefly seared through his green gaze before he cleared his throat and stood back up.

“Yep,” he murmured, and Lottie felt her cheeks flush.

What did he wish for? she wondered.

Glancing over at her apartment building, she knew she didn’t have the courage to ask.

“Do you want to wait here? I’ll be quick.”

“I’ll come with you,” he said.

She nodded, trying to ignore the ache of regret squeezing her heart.

Lottie pushed the stroller into her building as Chaz held the door open, and they walked down to her apartment door. As she went to put the key in the lock, she froze. The door was ajar. Pushing it open further, her eyes went wide at the trashed living room.

“Stay back,” Chaz said, moving around her.

She nodded, scooping Reya up and holding her tightly. God, what if they’d been home when the intruder had broken in? Swallowing hard, she watched Chaz storm inside, a very serious, very determined look on his face.

A shiver ran down her spine as he checked the entire place. When he returned a minute later, he assured her no one was in there.

“I swept the entire place. Whoever broke in is long gone.”

She let out a relieved breath and shifted Reya to her other hip. “Can I go in?’

He nodded. “Yeah. I want you to check to see if anything is missing. I’ll call the police and you’re going to need to file a report.”

“Okay,” she whispered, straightening her shoulders, telling herself to be brave. But the idea of her and Reya being home when someone had broken in left her chilled.

Chaz grabbed the stroller and they went inside together. It was even worse than she’d originally thought. Furniture had been tipped over and slashed. Drawers had been yanked out and dumped. Plants and broken pots laid scattered across the floor, dirt and soil ground into the carpet. Even the small vase that had held the dandelion bouquet Reya had given her laid on the floor, the flowers crushed.

For a stunned moment, she struggled to draw in a breath. She felt violated and hated that a stranger had torn her home apart. But more horrific thoughts hit her harder than a brick—what if she and Reya had been home? Or her mom had been there alone?

“Why would someone do this?” she asked aloud, and turned to see the thundercloud on Chaz’s face.

“I think they were looking for something.”

“Looking for what? I don’t have any expensive valuables. I’m a single mom who works at a bar, struggling to make ends meet.”

“Maybe this is someone trying to scare you. Make you feel unsafe. Or someone who expected you to be here and went ballistic when you weren’t. What about your ex?”

“Andy? I already told you, he wanted nothing to do with me or Reya.”

“Maybe something’s changed. Is there any reason he or anyone else might want to hurt you? Any customers at Old Glory that harassed you?”

She shook her head. “No. I-I try to be nice to everyone.”

Her phone rang and she jumped a mile. Pulling it from the diaper bag, she saw the caller ID flashing the name of the company she used to work for in New York.

“It’s my old job,” she said, confusion sweeping over her. “Why would they be calling? They fired me.”

“Answer it.” He held his arms out and took Reya, who was already reaching for him. She handed her over without thinking twice and swiped the bar over.

“Hello?”

“Lottie? It’s Diane.”

“Hi, Diane.” Why was her old friend from Sterling Unlimited calling her? They’d sat beside each other and kept each other up to date on office gossip, but their friendship hadn’t survived after Lottie left.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d heard or not. I know you and Andy didn’t exactly leave on the best terms…” Her voice trailed off as she struggled to find the right words.

“Heard what?”

“Andy died. He fell off his balcony and it’s under investigation.”

“ What? ” All the air whooshed from Lottie’s lungs. Even though Andy had chosen to abandon her and Reya, the man was still her daughter’s father. She supposed in the back of her mind, she’d always hoped one day he’d decide to be a part of her life. Even if only a small part. But now that would never happen.

“It’s awful. I wasn’t sure if you knew and, well, I figured you should.”

“Thank you for calling.” Completely overwhelmed and shocked, she hung up and met Chaz’s concerned green eyes. “Andy, Reya’s father, died.”

It felt so strange saying those words. Even though they hadn’t been on the same page or spoken in two years, she’d never wished ill on him.

“What happened?” he asked, moving closer.

She quickly relayed the conversation with Diane then looked over the disaster in her house. Knees buckling, she dropped down on the edge of the overturned couch. Chaz stepped beside her and laid a hand on her back, rubbing gently.

“Everything will be okay, Lottie.”

Lottie forced herself to stand back up, relying on the strength she’d honed as a single mom. Sometimes, no matter what happened in life, you just had to dig deep and push through it. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other, and keep going.

“Why don’t you see if you can find what you wanted to bring back to my place, and I’ll call the police?” he offered.

“Okay,” she murmured, and when she reached for Reya, Chaz shook his head.

“I got her. Don’t worry.”

“Thanks, Chaz. For everything.”

She couldn’t remember the last time someone had been so kind to her. Beneath his gruff, sarcastic exterior, Chaz Madden was nothing but a huge teddy bear with a heart of gold.

And she’d pushed him away. I’m such an idiot.

Turning around, she began walking toward her bedroom. Maybe there was a way to make things right. It would involve compromise and a big leap of faith, but she believed Chaz had her best interests at heart.

What it really boiled down to was her.

After being abandoned once, she wasn’t keen on ever experiencing it again.

So what was the right decision? Could she take a chance? Should she? Would it be better to play it safe? Keep her distance and safeguard her heart? Or give in to the passion and the unknown? She blew out a breath, not entirely sure what to do.

As she combed through the wreckage of her room, she heard Chaz talking to the police. Honestly, she wasn’t sure what she’d do without him. He’d become such a pillar of support in such a short amount of time. But leaning too heavily on a man made her uneasy. Especially after Andy took off.

Swiping up discarded clothes, she tossed them onto her bed. Everything had been flipped upside down—her belongings and her world. And she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to right it all again.

After grabbing a few more things and stuffing them in a bag, Lottie joined Chaz and Reya in the living room. It didn’t take long for a policeman to arrive and they gave him a brief report. Honestly, she didn’t know much or understand what was happening. Once the policeman had all the answers he needed, he gave her a sympathetic smile, promised to be in touch and left. That was it. Her entire life was a literal shambles and she couldn’t even fathom where to start putting it back together.

“Ready to go?” Chaz asked. “We can worry about cleaning this up later. I want you safe.”

She nodded and watched him pick up her bag. Such a gentleman. He was always trying to make her life easier. Giving him a small smile, she took Reya and plucked her keys up. After locking up, they walked down the hall.

“I’m going to check the mail quickly,” she said, veering over to the row of mailboxes in the wall. She slid the small mail key into the slot and opened her overflowing box. Normally, all she got was junk mail and bills, so a folded manilla envelope immediately snagged her attention. Her brow furrowed at the return address.

She looked up and Chaz raised a brow. “What’s wrong?”

Lifting the envelope, she said, “It’s from Andy.”

What in the world would her dead ex who she hadn’t spoken with in two years be sending to her? Lottie had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Something was very, very wrong.