Page 8 of Chaz (All Guts, No Glory #3)

C haz stepped into his bedroom and raked his fingers through his short hair, gripping the back of his neck and squeezing.

Fuck. He’d just completely taken advantage of Lottie during what had to be a vulnerable moment for her. What the hell had he been thinking, kissing her like that? He’d been so close to losing control. His hands itched to yank that towel away. To run them along her warm, wet skin. Do things to her he had absolutely no business even considering.

He’d gotten a quick glimpse of her naked, suds-covered body, and he’d lost it.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he cursed again. He wouldn’t be surprised if she left. Honestly, he couldn’t blame her. She was putting her trust in him to keep her safe, not ogle and molest her.

Frustration lashed through him. He had no right to put his hands on her. With a growl, he reached back, grabbed the collar of his T-shirt and pulled it over his head. Damn, he was burning up. Palming his erection, he forced himself to think very unsexy thoughts, directing his focus to how he would be turning another year older soon, and the way his body was slowly falling apart.

Instead of Lottie’s small body writhing against him, her tongue dueling with his, he thought about his thinning hair and the way his knees sounded like a bowl of Rice Krispies when he walked down the stairs.

Snap, crackle, pop.

That deflated his amorous feelings fast. Getting older sucked hardcore, and definitely wasn’t for the weak.

A soft knock sounded on the door. Whipping around, he forced himself to calm down before saying, “Come in.”

The object of his desire walked into his room in short, pink pajama bottoms and a matching top covered in coffee mugs, looking like a tempting treat he wanted to devour. His body began to heat up again as he took in the magnificent, very alluring view. For being so tiny, she packed an abundance of curves, and he wanted to explore each and every one.

“Can we talk?”

He curled his hands into fists and gave a sharp nod. She was going to call him an asshole and leave. His gut twisted at the thought and he ground his back molars.

Flitting over, she sat down on his bed, and when he didn’t move, she patted the spot next to her. “Sit,” she invited, setting the baby monitor beside her on the bed.

Dropping down next to her, the mattress sagged beneath his weight and she moved closer. When she laid a hand on his thigh, he swallowed hard and glanced up at her, surprised by her touch. He expected a slap to the face, or maybe a punch to the nuts, not this soft weight of a warm palm.

“Maybe that shouldn’t have happened,” she said quietly.

His heart sank. Not what he wanted to hear, but she was right. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“You definitely made me uncomfortable,” she said, and he cringed, “but not in the way you think.”

What did that mean? He studied her face, memorizing each soft angle, her full cheeks, flawless skin and those Caribbean blue eyes fringed with long lashes. A stray curl fell forward and he fought the urge to reach out and tuck it behind her ear.

“I really appreciate you letting us stay here, and I don’t want things to be awkward. Besides, you’ve made it very clear you can’t give me, er, a woman, anything more than casual.”

He frowned, but couldn’t deny it. Working at Old Glory, she overheard everything the Motley Crew discussed, and on more than one occasion he’d made his negative feelings known about marriage. Been overly vocal about being a bitter divorcé.

“And I completely understand that,” she continued. Her pretty face screwed up. “After my ex left, I promised myself I wouldn’t settle for less than forever. I know you’re not a forever kind of man, Chaz. So as attracted to you as I am, I respect your desire to stay single.”

Wait, what? He blinked stupidly, trying to absorb her words. She was attracted to him?

When he didn’t say anything, she shifted then pushed up off the bed. Chaz snagged her hand, spinning her back around to face him. “You’re attracted to me?” he asked, searching her face.

Her cheeks turned pink. The prettiest shade of pink he’d ever seen.

“I feel like an idiot. Please don’t embarrass me, too,” she pleaded.

“I’m the idiot, and I have no business wanting you. But, you tangle me all up inside and shred my control.”

Her lips parted as though she didn’t quite believe him, and he noticed her gaze drift over his shoulder, focusing on something. “You kept it,” she whispered.

He followed her line of sight to the small rock on his nightstand. The one Reya had given him at the park. “Yeah.”

“Why?” she asked softly, bright blue eyes searching his, seeking answers.

He tugged her closer, right between his sprawled legs. “Because you, Sunshine, make me want things I’ve never wanted before.”

She let out a soft breath and laid her palm on his cheek. “Me?” she whispered as though she didn’t quite believe him.

“Yeah, you.” He turned his face into her palm, nuzzling it. “That kiss wasn’t a mistake.”

“It wasn’t?”

“Hell no.”

“What exactly are you saying?” she asked.

He pressed a kiss to her palm, noticing the way her chest began to rise and fall faster. “I’m saying you, Charlotte Russell, aren’t like the others. So anything I might’ve said doesn’t apply to you. To us.”

Lottie threw herself against his chest, her mouth eagerly moving against his, and he answered back with just as much fervor. He grabbed her waist, lifting and spinning her onto her back, then covered her body with his, careful not to crush her.

And fuck if he wasn’t instantly embraced in her warm, beautiful light.

They kissed deeply, taking the time to explore and taste each other. Her mouth was minty fresh and she must’ve just brushed her teeth. A soft moan escaped from between her lips, making him instantly hard again, and he shifted his body weight, repositioning himself on his elbows. His aching cock pressed against her thigh and he trailed his mouth lower, dropping hot kisses down her neck.

Her skin felt like silk against his lips and he slid his hand over her full breast. Other women might have tits, but Lottie deserved his respect. She was a queen and he’d treat like one—even in his thoughts.

No bra , he registered, her nipple tightening beneath his touch. Molding and squeezing the mound of flesh, he nipped at her collarbone.

With a gasp, she arched up beneath him. “Chaz…please…” she whimpered. “I need…”

Her words trailed off, but he knew what she needed. Even so, he needed her permission. Because he wasn’t about to cross this line without it.

“What? What do you need, Lottie?” he asked huskily, fingers moving down and toying with the elastic edge of her thin shorts.

In response, she placed her hand over his and guided it down to cover her mound. “I need you to touch me.”

Done. She’d never have to ask him twice. He slid his hand up her shorts, moved the scrap of her very wet panties aside, and began stroking her.

“So wet, Sunshine,” he murmured, parting her folds and sliding his finger inside her. She cried out, hips lifting, thighs squeezing around his hand. “Tell me exactly how you like to be touched.”

His thumb covered her clit, rubbing in small circles, adjusting the pressure until he figured out what made her hum. Adding another finger, he slowly began thrusting them in and out. She was small and tight, but dripping for him. So slick and welcoming.

“You feel so good. So…damn…good…” He caught her mouth in a long, sensual kiss, and her hips began to rock against his hand. “That’s it. Take what you need.”

Paying close attention to her reactions, he increased the speed of his plunging fingers, sliding them deeper, and pressed down harder on her swollen clit. Her inner muscles tightened, quaked, and she cried out.

Watching Lottie come was the best thing he’d ever seen. A shudder ran through her small frame as her release claimed her. Even though he wished he was balls deep in her sweet pussy, he knew they shouldn’t rush things.

For a long moment, he kept his fingers inside her, slowly stroking, bringing her down from the orgasmic high.

“Oh, my God,” she whispered, eyes fluttering open.

Their gazes locked. He slowly pulled his fingers out and her eyes went wide when he licked them clean, savoring her sweet taste. Like the fucking nectar of the gods.

Beside them, the baby monitor crackled to life and filled the room with Reya’s crying.

Lottie scooted off the bed, adjusting her twisted pajama bottoms. And without a word, she fled from his room.

Shit.

Chaz got up and followed her. There was no way he was letting her go without a word after she just came on his hand. After his tongue was down her throat and his fingers were in her body.

No fucking way.

Following her down to the other bedroom, he stepped inside as she was lifting Reya from the crib. The nightlight turned on its pedestal, illuminating the room in a rainbow of colors, and he watched her soothe the little girl, talking softly and swaying from side to side until her eyes closed.

Lottie looked up and Chaz propped a shoulder against the door jamb, silently watching mother and daughter. In that moment, he saw a flash of forever and he knew he never wanted to let them go. He wanted to give them everything, to take care of them, to be able to call them his family.

“You’re a wonderful mother,” he said, voice low and deep.

She gave him a small smile then gently laid Reya back in bed. After making sure the little one was settled, Lottie moved toward him, motioning him into the hallway with her. Slowly pulling the door nearly closed, she turned to face him.

And if he had to guess, she had very mixed feelings about what just happened between them.

“Don’t you dare say that shouldn’t have happened,” he said, moving closer, laying his hands on her arms, “because you’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.”

He let his hands slide down her bare arms and then threaded his fingers through hers.

“I know I don’t deserve a woman as amazing as you, Lottie, and I have a shitty track record when it comes to relationships. The best thing you can probably do is stay far away from me, but maybe…”

His voice trailed off as he considered their options.

“Maybe what?” she asked in a quiet voice laced with hope.

Hell, he refused to make promises he couldn’t keep. And lying to Lottie so he could get in her pants? He wouldn’t ever do anything so heinous. At the same time, he meant what he’d said. She was different. His thoughts about relationships didn’t apply to her. And he wanted to see where things might go.

He just didn’t want to give her false hope. Have her believing he’d make a good boyfriend, father or husband just because he’d made her come hard. He knew there was more to a relationship than that. He just didn’t know if he possessed the qualities that made him long-term relationship material.

“Maybe we can take this one day, one step, at a time. See where it leads us.”

Her face fell and he instantly hated himself for being the reason why.

“It’s been almost three years since I was involved with a man, Chaz,” she said, voice thoughtful. “After a condom broke and I wound up pregnant, he left. He wanted nothing to do with me or being a father. And the funny thing is, my ex wasn’t a bad guy. Not really. He just wasn’t present. I need someone who will be present every day, every step. For me and Reya. Not just when it’s convenient or feels right. I need a man who understands exactly where this leads.”

“Lottie…”

But he didn’t know what to say. God, he felt like an asshole.

“Thank you for letting us stay with you, but I think it’s best if we forget about what happened tonight.”

Before he could manage a reply, she went back into the bedroom, softly shutting the door behind her.

Chaz ran a hand over his beard and cursed.

Way to fuck things up, Madden.