Page 9 of Chasing the Wolf (Dark Wing #7)

Chapter 9

Mackenzie

I 'm wearing a crown and holding Xavier's hand. On purpose. I'm holding his hand on purpose. I didn't think I'd actually had that much to drink, but I'm guessing I was wrong.

"You must be starving. I can't believe you didn't have anything to eat before you showed up at class. Like nothing. That's not healthy, Mac."

"It's fine. Normally, I eat a big dinner. But I'm not day drinking either. Day drinking, me? You're a bad influence on me, Xavier."

"Your FO is a bad influence. I never want to hurt you." His eyes drop to my lips. Why do his eyes keep dropping to my lips? Probably the same reason my eyes keep taking in his ass. The male has a really fine ass. Like, the best ass I've ever seen. My heart's doing that weird trilling thing again.

"You've already done your damage." Hold steady, Mackenzie. There's a reason why I can't be with him. I can't even know if it's true that he’ll turn out like his father. His family destroys or takes everything they want for themselves. They take and they take, and I don't want to be part of that. And I can't ever be a part of his pack again. I have my pack here.

"You're not wrong. But I do want to make up for it. I'm not going to stop until you understand I mean it." His eyes glow at me.

The elevator dings. "Where are we going?"

"You need food." He grabs my shoulders and steers me off the elevator. "Is pizza good?"

"Pizza is god."

"Then you will have pizza."

I crane my neck to look at him. "Wait, you're a guest. You're supposed to eat in the dining room. Well, you don't have to, but you can."

"I like pizza, Mac."

"It's not too common for you?" I cock my head at his expensive pants.

His forehead furrows at me. "Not at all."

"You don't remember?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

I humph. But it's a lot louder than I meant it to be, which was not out loud at all. I turn the wrong way off the elevator toward the railing instead of the pool.

Xavier's fingers pull at my shoulders. "This way, Mackie."

I'm quick to turn and glare at him. "Mackie?" The only ones who call me Mackie are my family. I don't like how it feels in my gut, the way my nickname sounds on his lips. "You never called me Mackie when we were growing up."

"No, I didn't because..." He directs me between the lounge chairs, a few feet away from the tiki bar.

"Hey, you two. I'm working on making a round of Xenies for the crowd. But I'm missing something,” Rama says.

"Oh, want me to taste it?" I rotate toward Rama's voice.

"No, we'll be back. Mac hasn't had anything to eat today."

"Oh, yeah. We'll see you later." Rama waves.

"Sit," Xavier says, pointing at an empty table across the deck in front of the pizza bar.

And I find myself tucked in, waiting. "Wait, you don't know what I like."

"I do. Extra black olives, double pepperoni."

"Yeah, that's . . ."

Xavier's gone and standing in a reasonably long line. What am I doing? I'm tipsy, hungry, and really, really horny. Although it's weird being hungry without being able to smell. It's why I wanted Xavier to taste the drinks before I did. I can taste—but it's just darn odd. There's a whole level missing. Because there is something missing. The pizza parlor eating area's out of the wind, but there's still a light breeze, and it's blowing at my back, and my scent would smack him right in the face. That is, if I had one. Easily solvable. I move around to the other side of the table.

Xavier comes back a few minutes later with two large waters. "The view's better on that side?"

"Something like that."

"We're number 14."

I smack my face. "Seriously?"

"Yup."

It's like fate is trying to tell me a big "up yours." And no, there's no nudge in the back of my brain that says maybe Xavier has changed. Maybe he's not like his dad. Maybe he wants a partner and not someone he can bully. Bully like his dad does his mom. Because that's a fairy tale. And I don't live in the land of fairy tales.

My life has been one of hard realities. Nothing’s for free. I want to work for what I get because free means being in debt to someone. I don't want to be in debt to anyone. Especially not a Wilder. His family can't have anything they want. Not me. So take that, fate. You can't have me. I'm going to fight off this darn attraction to Xavier, even if I have to catalog every horrible thing he said to me as a child, make a tape recording of it, and play it back in my sleep. This is absolutely not happening.

"What in the world are you thinking in that pretty head of yours?"

"Nothing much. You know me—I'm not that smart."

"What? Who in the world ever told you that?"

"You. You told me that."

"Well, I'm an idiot and I was clearly intimidated by a younger female being so brilliant, but then that's what it is."

"You're not an idiot." My wolf humphs. Young Xavier might have been a bit of an idiot.

"No, I was an idiot, Mackenzie. I let my father control me because it was the only way I thought I could keep you safe. You and your family."

A large red fourteen flashes on the screen, only it glitches and ends up looking like two fourteens tangled together. "That's our food." I stand up too fast, and the blood rushes to my head, making everything spin.

"Sit, Mac. I'll get it." When he comes back, he takes the food off the tray and places it in front of me, napkin and silverware in the right place.

"You really should have gone to the dining room. It's a lot nicer than eating pizza on the pool deck."

"I like the company better here."

"You could have been eating with my brother."

"Like I said, I like the company better here. And pizza is god. Or so I've heard."

"I said that, didn't I?" I look down at my food and back at Xavier. His eyes are really, well, pretty for lack of a better term, and they match his jaw and his shoulders. His shoulders are well-defined for someone who works in an office all day.

"I said lots of things as a teenager that I'd like to take back. But I can't. I can only own it. I'm sorry I didn't know how to keep you safe without hurting you. I was a kid too."

"Okay, well, all’s forgiven.” I wave it off like I actually mean it. “Let's eat our pizza and say goodbye. I'm sure Colton has a big night planned for you."

Xavier laughs. It's a deep, echoing laugh that fills the pizza seating alcove. "You're funny, Mac. And nice try. Memories and wounds don't heal that way."

"You're really smart. So I'm glad you understand me when I say that after today I don’t want to see you anymore."

"And I hope you understand that I'm going to make you understand I've changed."

"Why? Why bother? You're obviously doing well. Just live your life. Enjoy your money. I'm sure you can find lots of females to help you keep your bed warm." My wolf's mad at me. Unlike a lot of shifters, I've never had an issue with being divided with my wolf. But I'm starting to understand those who do. She's angry. Like really, really angry.

But it doesn't matter. That's the thing. My mom and dad aren't just fated mates from the same pack as Xavier's family. They are the same age as his parents. I've heard a lot of stories of them being cubs together. How the Alpha was fun and playful. How he swept his mate off her feet. How in love they were when they were young.

I'm not risking it. I don't even want to know.