Page 17 of Chasing the Wolf (Dark Wing #7)

Chapter 17

Mackenzie

I must be horny to be so turned on from a kiss to the cheek. I can't believe my skin still tingles where his lips touched.

Like I told Rama, I'm no virgin. But I feel like one right now. There is no doubt in my mind that I want Xavier. My body craves him. I want his fingers more than lightly trailing down my face. I want him to pinch and grab me. Throw me around. Hot darn. When he pressed into me, I pictured him picking me up and pushing me against the mirror. Taking me hard.

It's a really good thing I pumped on another bit of the spray. Or maybe foolish. But I need answers. I need to know if he's changed. Ugh, of course he's going to say he's changed. Can I trust him? And if I do, can I ever tolerate the idea of being an Alpha's wife? In Maine?

I almost told him what I'm saving my money for...

I want to, eventually, open my own coffee shop with the best of the best beans and have regulars whose names and orders I know by heart the second they walk through the door. My own team, my own hours. Yeah, that's my dream. I mean, it's not that I don't love my job at Java Lava. I do.

Right now, everything I’m doing and feeling is confusing.

I want him.

But that's what Violet's spray gives me. The opportunity to have a quick fling, and I don't have to worry about the consequences or whether I can trust him. But the time for quick is most likely over . . .

I let the red dress drop to the ground. And then I carefully pick it up and hang it on the hanger. Josie said the blue dress is on sale. I could've sworn it had a different colored tag on it a few minutes ago. I can almost zip myself all the way up, but not quite. I turn to face the mirror. Holy crap. Xavier said my heart is beautiful. I don't know if that’s true... but this dress. Holy cannoli. I step out through the curtain dramatically.

"Whoa," Xavier says. "That's the one, no need to look any further. You're stunning."

"This old thing?" I say.

"Spin for me."

I twirl and I feel like I'm a princess—no, a queen. "I do love it."

"Final answer?" Xavier asks.

"Definitely. This is my pie eating dress." I laugh. Because who buys a dress for eating pie? Me, apparently. I gather my leggings and my T-shirt and hang the unwanted gowns on the rack by the door.

Xavier hands me a box.

"What's this?"

"Did you know you can shop at the ship's jewelry store in the ship's app and they will deliver it to you? And since we're just across the hall from the store..." He holds up the box.

"No... I mean yes. I know you can, but I don't need––"

Xavier takes the box from me and opens it, revealing a simple necklace with a gold circle. There are two emeralds at the bottom of the circle. "All the dresses we picked out needed something around the neck. I can return it later if you don't want to keep it." He has it out of the box and fastened around my neck before I can stop him. And crap, it does look good. Perfect, actually.

"Thank you. It's pretty. I'll wear it for pie, and then we can return it afterward together."

"Fine. I've paid for the dress on the app already. I didn't want to waste any more pie time."

"I'm paying you back."

"Understood." Xavier weaves our fingers together.

Josie waves. "I got the electronic checkout notification. You're all set. Enjoy the pie."

The couple she's helping perk up. "So good. We were at the first dinner seating, and we were trying to figure out how to smuggle the pastry chef home with us."

I squeal and wave with my free hand. There's a line at the elevator. "Pre-pie workout?" I lead him from the elevator to the stairs. I'm running as fast as I do in fur at a pack run. Which, by most standards, isn't fast. But nothing’s fast enough for going to get pie.

And it's not just the pie I'm excited about. I've been in the Hoard dining room before, plenty of times, covering for Colette or other people. But I've never eaten in the dining room. And it's a little different approaching the front entryway where Rex is posted, the lead servers in their formal wear standing behind him.

Rex's bushy eyebrows dart up. "Mr. Wilder, I'm so glad you could finally join us."

"You must be the Rex that Mac speaks so highly of." Xavier shakes his hand.

Rex tilts his head to the side, a smirk on his thin lips. He knows what we say about him. He's not a bad boss. In fact, he's actually the opposite, but he doesn't take any excuses. There's no bending a rule. Everything to him is hard, fast. There is only one way, and that's his way.

"Miss Northwood, you look lovely this evening. Blue suits you. I'm so glad you got to join us. It'll be our first time for both of you. Am I correct?"

"Of course you're correct, Rex. You're always correct!" I laugh when I say it.

Rex chuckles. “Right this way, Mr. Wilder, Miss Northwood.” He walks us through the dining room. All the dining rooms on the Dark Wing are themed. The Hoard dining room is my favorite. Large seven-foot-tall mirrors lean against the walls. There's gilded trim throughout the space—a bit more or a bit less and it would be gaudy or tacky. But it's just the right amount to contrast the marble with the gold. My shoes clicking and the rustling of the new gown makes me feel like Cinderella.

I try not to think about what the room usually smells like. So good. But there are no scents around for me now. The first squirt of the potion lasted two days. The one I just did I only gave a half a squirt, so that should last a day, I hope. Then I can get everything settled and move on with my life.

Rex holds the chair for me and removes the napkin from the plate, then places it on my lap. It's a table for four, but no one else is here. I haven’t seen my brother since last night. And I'm not sure I want to see him. Bringing Colton into it somehow makes this whole thing between Xavier and me real.

Rex clicks his heels and nods to Xavier and then to me. "Your server will be right with you," he says.

I'm about to ask Rex who our server is when I see a certain golden head of curls bouncing under a kerchief, coming toward us. Other servers don't have to wear them; it's just that my roomie has so much hair it needs to be contained.

"Well, what a beautiful looking couple we have here," Colette says.

"I don't know about ‘couple,’ but Mac is even more stunning than usual."

"That's hard to imagine, but you're right. Our Mackenzie has always been stunning." Colette leers at Xavier, and I'm a little worried that perhaps I shouldn't have told a lioness what he said to me growing up.

"Ixnay on the attacknay," I say in my best pig Latin.

Colette's eyes flare at me.

Xavier smirks. "She told you what a dick I was growing up."

Colette smiles, but it's more of an I'm-a-lion-and-could-kill-you smile than I'm-your-friendly-server-and-would-like-a-good-tip-at-the-end-of-the-cruise. "Yes."

My stomach drops. That's Colette, though: chill, but she's not going to lie.

"Do you need a few minutes, or did you bribe her to come with pie?"

"Pie, I definitely used pie,” he says.

Colette's nose scrunches up. "Are you having dinner, pretending to have dinner, or just here for the pie?" She looks directly at Xavier. There's only one correct answer to her question, and she's waiting to see if he can come up with it.

"Can't we have pie for dinner and not pretend? Just call it dinner."

"Well played." Colette laughs. "Two arrays?" she asks him. But she better know that she needs to bring two.

"Can I have three?" Xavier raises his eyebrows at her.

"I'll ask." Colette’s lips tip up in a smirk.

I love pie, but there's no way we can eat three arrays’ worth. Not without rolling out of here. They’re platters. "That's a lot of pie."

"We can take it back to the cabin. Can't we?"

"Luring her to your cabin with leftover pie?" Colette tsks and pivots away.

"I suppose so." There's a pang of guilt at taking away pie that might be leftovers for crew members. I watch her leave and sigh.

Xavier nods. "Excuse me." He calls over another server. "If you have the time, could you tell our server Colette that–– You know, never mind. Thank you though."

"Oh, uh, no problem. Hey, Mackenzie. Whoa, you look nice," he says before heading to the order station.

I chuckle. "There's a small part of me that's starting to feel like maybe I should try a little harder the rest of the days of the year."

"No," Xavier says. “You want pie. I want you to have all the pie you can eat. And also, No.”

I flinch at his response.

"Don't get me wrong, you look sexy as fuck. But it's taking everything I have to not rip his throat out."

"Preston? He's mated. And gay."

"I don't care." Xavier’s eyes are dilated.

I take a sip of water as Colette rounds the corner, drinks in hand. That's the thing with the Dark Wing system. It tracks your favorite things and lets servers, bartenders, and baristas like myself know what you've ordered before.

"A Xenie for each of you, and two cups of coffee."

"Thank you, Colette. I hope this one doesn't have cyanide in it?" He takes a sip of the coffee before she can answer.

"Thank you. This looks good, but maybe only one today." I pick up my Xenie.

Colette laughs and heads off.

"I remember how much you liked pie as a cub. It's nice that you didn't outgrow it."

"I'm still the same... No, I'm not. I've changed a lot. This ship. My friends."

"I know." He leans forward and takes my hands in his.

I'm caving. I'm not even trying to fight his touch anymore. He brings my hands to his lips and kisses my knuckles.

He knows. I can see it. He knows I used more potion.

"I have help," I say.

"Help is good."

I take another sip of my drink. "Right, no. Did you look up 1414?"

"Our cabin?"

"Your cabin, yes, did you look it up? I know you did. You've always been thorough."

"You mean how it's rumored to bring fated mates together?"

"Yes. It's not just luck." I lean forward. He's smirking at me. "Stop. It's not. The ship has, you know, people."

"As in witches?" he says far too loud for my liking.

"Yes, but hush. I asked one for help. And she gave me some help. But..."

"You think we're mates too?"

I'm trying really hard not to roll my eyes at him. But it's hard. Like truly hard. "I've been attracted to you since before I even knew what that meant."

"Same. And also, being four years older than you, a little creepy, I'm not going to lie."

"Three and a half."

"Yes, excuse me. Three and a half."

"And yeah, okay, whatever. You were horrible to me."

He's holding my hands tightly. "I know, and I'm sorry. But it wasn't because I wanted to be." I cock my head to the side and try to pull my hands away. He holds on to them. "You don't have to hear me out, but I'd really appreciate it if you tried."

I relax. Or try to. "Okay, in the name of pie, I will."

"In the name of pie. Right. I spent a lot of time at your house. At first, it was because of Colton and Hawke.”

“The three musketeers, Dad called you guys.”

“Right. Hawke liked hanging out at your house better than mine, for obvious reasons. My dad being an asshole. Or his?—"

"Ten siblings."

"Twelve, now."

"No!"

"Yes, but we're getting off-track. With them all around, your house was calmer. And your mother's a good cook. But the more time I spent there, the more I liked it. The more it felt like I belonged there. And the Alpha noticed. As years went by, he started demoting your parents to lesser roles, which made them have to work more, which made things around your house harder. But your parents never asked me to stop coming around. And the older you got, the more I realized it wasn't Colton and your mother's cooking and how your dad didn't beat Colton. It was you too. You made me laugh. And I loved the way you smelled.

“My mom asked me about it, when I was seventeen and you were fourteen, if I thought you might be my mate. My dad overheard. That changed everything. He couldn't have me mated to a family he'd been pushing down for five years. He pulled me aside and said Northwood cubs would be nothing but mutants because he was going to give you to his enforcers to use.

"He's a shit Alpha and a horrible person. He made me promise I would never have anything to do with you. That I would mate who he picked out. I told him I would do it but he had to stop taking it out on your family. If he ever touched you, I would tell the whole pack the truth and claim you."

I clasped my hands over my mouth. My stomach flips and I want run. "My parents lost their good jobs because of me?”

“No, not you Mac. Because Stanton is an ass. Because I couldn’t hide how I felt well enough.”

“You were a cub, too. I can’t believe you knew.” My insides are vibrating.

"I wanted you to hate me. Needed you to hate me."

"I didn't hate you. I trusted you, thought the world of you. When you turned seventeen something changed and the pranks weren’t funny. They were cruel. You were saying all these horrible things to me. You were, are, the smartest person I know. So they had to be true. I believed them for years. Darn it." I pull my hands back and use the napkin to wipe a fat teardrop rolling down my cheek. "I didn't hate you. I hated me."

"Fuck, Mac. I... I'll make it up to you. I don't know how. But I'll try every day for the rest of my life to make it up to you. Even if you don't want me. Even if we never mate. I will be your servant."

"But you want a partner."

"Who wants pie?" Colette places the first platter on the table. "Can I eat him now, or should I make it look like an accident?" A lion's chuff comes from Colette’s chest.

“Colette . . .”

"Two pi arrays, the third will come out later." Colette scowls at Xavier as she puts the second one down. Their oblong platters are the same width as a plate but twice as long. Each contains six slices of pie—not huge slices but not slivers either. "I put the ice cream on the side." Colette places a large bowl of vanilla ice cream in the middle of the table, a serving spoon at its side. "It's normally served on the platter, but there are some flavors that don't need melted ice cream running into them."

"Right?" My expression brightens instantly.

“Bon appétit." Colette smiles at me and glares at Xavier.