Page 11 of Chasing the Wolf (Dark Wing #7)

Chapter 11

Mackenzie

I 'm not drunk. It takes a lot to get a shifter drunk, even a shifter who doesn't drink often. But I'm not feeling any pain, that's for sure. That must be the reason why I grab hold of his arm. It's not that I had this weird sense of pride while he was juggling—pride that I'm not entitled to have. And seriously, if I want to be proud of this guy with the candy-like forearms, I should be proud of him for building a company that saved my hometown.

Why am I proud, anyway? Because he can juggle? Because he’s smart? I don’t have any right to be proud.

Xavier places his hand over mine, and he stares down at me. Sparks fly around my body. Okay, I love that he's tall—like, super tall. He backs into the elevator, reaches around me, and pushes the button for deck six.

"Theater's on deck five."

"Ah, when you were making your escape?—"

"That's the upper part of the backstage area. The front doors are on deck five, around the middle of the ship. Unless you want to help out with the stage crew. Seeing as you're close to being part of the entertainment department with your juggling prowess."

"There was a period of time when I thought I might want to be an entertainer."

I lean back and hit the wall of the elevator. "No, you?"

"Yeah, but that wasn't going to happen."

"Instead, you built a world-class empire and saved an entire pack."

"I suppose if you put it that way, thinking of being an acrobatic juggler is a bit frivolous."

"No!" The elevators open on the tenth floor, and a couple stands there, shocked by my outburst. "Sorry, come in, come in. What floor?"

"Five," the female says, still a little wary because of my shouting.

"It's already pushed." I lean back, but this time I'm leaning into Xavier. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into his body. His warmth radiates into my back, and I find myself pushing against him, snuggling into it. Which only makes him pull me in more tightly.

"Going to the show?" Xavier asks. And it takes me a minute to realize the couple is staring at us.

"Yes."

"I hear it's amazing, that we're in for something special." Xavier's deep voice vibrates against my back. My eyes flutter closed, and I want him to keep talking. Saying anything. He could read one of my parents' old encyclopedias to me and I'd be happy right now. Just riding up and down in the elevator. Wrapped in his arms, his voice in my ear.

Shoot! No, no, no. The elevator stops again, and this time I take the opportunity to step away from Xavier. But the elevator’s crowded, so we're still touching arms. Everyone else is going to the show too, and we flow out into the lobby. It's wall-to-wall people, standing waiting for the rest of their parties. Xavier's hand finds mine again, and he heads through the crowd, parting it like he's some sort of biblical hero.

"Where do you want to sit?" he asks.

"Billy always says the theater is perfect, no bad seat in the house." Normally, I like to sit up front so I can really see my friends perform. But not today. I don't want them asking more questions, questions I know are out there. Mostly because the last time I turned my phone on there were at least a half-dozen messages. And even one from Daisy. Daisy left the boat to go work at a fancy new hotel in Texas almost a year ago.

I haven't answered any of them. That's a problem for future Mackenzie.

I glance back at Xavier. That's the thing. I've really changed. I used to think everything was a today problem. A today problem brought on by Xavier and his family. Not anymore. I've gotten over it.

Then again, tonight I can indulge in my former crush. Listen to my friends kill it on stage and forget all about him in the morning. It can't hurt. Right?

"Down front or up in the back?" Xavier's eyes flash when he says "in the back."

"Middle? Middle," I say, with more conviction the second time. If we sit in the back, forget about Xavier's hands. Mine will be roaming all over him. And I've already ruled out the front. He guides us to the middle of the theater and finds us two near the middle.

"After you." He places his hand on the lower portion of my back.

I need to have a serious talk with my body later. Since when is that so sexy? I sit and get myself situated, taking in the theater. It's not the normal set of props in front of the curtain.

"Here, you didn't take one and I thought you might like it." He hands me a program.

"Holy crap, this isn't the cabaret numbers. It's the new musical that Billy and Lucy put together. Like they wrote-wrote it. They've been doing one performance as dress rehearsal every few cruises until they perfect it. I keep missing it."

"Oh."

"Wait, you don't understand. Like, the shows are good normally. But they're abridged. Like the digest version of major shows. This one, Billy wrote himself, and it's got all the parts of a big show but it's the whole show. Nothing missing. No need to know what it's about, it's just the whole thing. They've been talking about it for a month, but I keep missing it." I'm shaking.

"Then it's a good thing we're here tonight."

"Maybe." Maybe, because when Colette watched it last month, she came back to the room crying like an overtired cub. “It's emotional and about shifters. A shifter instead of a princess with a fairy godmother or a girl with a monster and a big library. This show is about us, written for us.”

"It's okay to cry, Mac."

I laugh. I laugh so hard I have to turn away from him. “That's the exact opposite thing he said to me growing up.” He'd hurt my feelings or eat the last piece of pizza from the box and tell me only weak shifters cry. That it's not natural. That I must not be a shifter. Honestly, what am I even doing sitting here?

Xavier grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers. "I will tell you over and over again, Mac. It doesn't excuse it. But I was a cub. A cub filled full of hate and lies. I'm not the same male anymore. If you need to cry, cry. That's what I'll do."

"You?" I poke him in the chest with my free hand. And he grabs my finger, pushing it to his chest, and holds it over his heart. He holds my hand so tightly to his shirt I can feel the thumping of his heart against my skin.

"Me, Mac. I cry." His amber eyes are so intense.

"You? No way." I squint at him. "Fine, not in public, though."

"Not in public. Sure, but I could if I needed to. It's been a long time." He squeezes my hand.

The lights flash, and Rebecca comes onstage. She's changed since we saw her upstairs. She's in a long red ballgown, and her Dark Wing name tag has a corsage pinned to it on her chest.

The lights dim, and a spotlight picks her up. There are some catcalls as Rebecca takes the center of the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen. This evening, we have something vastly different for you. And I'm honored to say that it's the third time I'm going to see this production. And honestly, I'm really excited. Not that all the shows you'll be able to see this week aren't fantastic. But this one is still being developed. So a couple of things. This is not a show for young children, cubs, or kits. But you know your offspring best. However, if you have to leave during the show, please exit at the left rear. Secondly, while we say no photography or video for all our shows, we really mean it for this one."

The spotlight splits and focuses on the side exit doors where FO Laurit waves on one side and Orin the massive lion shifter security guard waves at the other. The crowd roars with laughter when Orin points at someone on their phone.

"Seriously, though. This is a work in progress. Something you don't get to see very often because fantastic shows like this are developed behind closed doors. Now, I'm making it sound like it's not going to be fantastic. And that's not doing it justice. So Dark Wing guests, get your tissues ready and put your hands together for The Awakening ."

The crowd goes wild. There's more whistling. The theater plunges into darkness. Music crescendos, and when the lights come up again, Billy's in the middle of the stage. His voice starts low and grows louder until it fills the theater. It's the origin story of the first wolf shifter being born to a family and left in the woods to die. But he doesn't die. He meets his mate, and they grow stronger and live longer than their human neighbors. The songs are moving. How they knew they were fated to be together, blessed by the moon. The love song is stirring when they kiss. They're lifted into the sky on cables, tumbling. They're naked and tangled together.

"Whoa," Xavier whispers to me.

"Right?" My eyes are wide. They're flying through the sky together, then they separate, tumbling apart before they end up back together. It's erotic, terrifying. Probably more so because I know the two of them. But it's also beautiful. The way Lucy's pale skin shines next to Billy's.

There's a heartbeat in the room, and the scene switches to the two of them having a large pack. The songs are upbeat and fun, though they're hiding from humans, telling their young to not be seen in fur.

The next number is like a time jump to the modern ages. The cast changes from simple shifts to T-shirts and cutoff jeans. Billy and Lucy are off to the side, lying on pallets, watching the chorus dance when there's a massive battle scene. Leaps and kicks—they battle with dance. It's mesmerizing. All the while, Billy and Lucy watch.

The lights turn red, and all the dancers freeze. Billy and Lucy walk slowly around, tagging each dancer. When they're touched, they walk slowly to the edge of the stage and sit on the blocks and steps they had just been using as pieces to jump off of. Until they walk into the middle of the stage, embrace, and then Lucy's voice pierces the quiet stage. Her voice echoes and fills the back of the auditorium. They twirl in each other's arms, singing about the end of time. They crumple to the stage, dying.

I'm gripping Xavier's arm. Like, really gripping it. Tears are streaming down my face as Lucy takes her last breath and the lights go dim. I'm sobbing.

The lights come up, and that's when I realize that Xavier's crying too.

"It's a lot," I say.

"It's weird to feel seen. The cruise director, Rebecca, was right. This is really special. Like I can't?—"

We both jump to our feet, applauding. Xavier whistles with his pinky and ring finger. People are screaming and cheering. A few crew members throw flowers onto the stage. And when Billy and Lucy come forward, the auditorium is louder than any rock concert I've ever been to. Which is exactly two. But that's beside the point.

It's a full five minutes before people start leaving the theater. There are murmurs around us. People are saying things like “Broadway and Tony winner.” But I barely hear them. I'm too busy looking at Xavier. He really was crying. Crying in public.

He smiles down at me. "See? I told ya."

"What would the Alpha think?"

"I don't give a dead beaver's ass what the Alpha would think about anything."

"Really?"

"Really, Mac." He holds on to my arm.

When we finally get to the lobby, the entrance is right across from the Bj?rn Bar. "Want to get a snack?" I cock my head at the bar.

"Sure." His smile takes over his face. "I'm always up for a snack."

I lead him into the back room. There are small booths away from the hubbub of the bar. It's a lot different from when we had the class. It's full, really full, and there's a Celtic fiddle group playing in the main room. A few people are dancing, but it's mostly an older crowd drinking large pints of beer or glasses of Dragon Ale. I slide into the booth, and he follows.

"This is nice."

I want to be a smart-ass and say something, like "I guess." But it is nice. The band's playing, the musical was fantastic. I'm drained from crying but drained in a good way. And there's a part of me that just wants to give in. Just say forget it and see if Xavier and I are something or could be something. But there's also a large part of me that's screaming, No, no fudging way. Can you trust him or even like him?

Clara doesn't take long to find us. She's new to the ship and has been bouncing around departments, finding the place she fits in best. She did a few days at Java Lava, but coffee wasn't her thing. Nothing wrong with that; it's not a lot of people's thing.

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu? Or would you just like drinks?" Her name tag is hidden under her blonde hair.

It takes me a minute to realize she doesn't recognize me. She's looking at Xavier and not me, and my wolf isn't liking it. Not at all.

"Hey, Clara."

"Oh, Mackenzie, I didn't see you there. Is this your brother that you've been talking about?"

My jaw drops. Because I haven't been talking about anything with her. "Nope, this is his best friend."

"Oh, I'm Clara, from Shadow Glen, Tennessee." She waves in a flirty way, her normally tame accent dialed up to ten times more country. “I was at the mixology thing earlier.”

“Yes." Xavier doesn't introduce himself. Instead, he takes the menu from the wall and opens it. "I think we'll need a minute."

"Sure thing." She sashays away with more swaying hips than are needed to propel her away from the table. And honestly, I can't blame her. Xavier is handsome. His jawline, his dark brown hair, his amber eyes, and his clothes—while cruise casual—say, I have a shit ton of money.

"I'm glad you didn't hurt her," says Xavier.

"What? I didn't do anything."

"No, but the look on your face? I must admit, I loved the look on your face. Like you were going to protect me from her."

"Are you scared of a pint-sized bear shifter?"

"No. But I'm thinking you are."

"I'm not. I didn't."

"Do you know her?"

"Sure, I kind of know everyone on the ship. We're family."

"Of course you are." He raises his eyebrows, and I don’t like how he’s being harsh about the ship. My pack. But I also don’t like how Clara was hitting on him. And I’m not sure what to do about it. It didn’t feel like she was just playing it up for tips. But I shouldn’t care. It doesn’t matter.

Right?