Page 19 of Charmed, I'm Sure

“What if she really doesn’t like me?”

She waves me off. “Don’t be so dramatic. She’s a tactile creature, I can tell. It’s something I can feel in my bones.”

“You don’t have any bones…”

“Hush!” She snaps her ghostly hand at me. “She clearly loves warm hugs, a firm back pat. Bellamy’s love language is definitely affection. All you have to do is get close enough.”

Milo snarls in my head,“If you touch her, we are both going in the ground before our arms even finish wrapping around her.”

“No offense,” I say slowly, “but your track record…”

“Is exquisite,” she interrupts, puffing on her cigarette. “Now, what’s your budget for wooing? Is getting her a goat on the table?”

“A goat?”

“It worked once. Well…kind of. Technically, it summoned a swarm of vampire bats, but the couple was big into Halloween, so it was definitely a win.”

I pull my phone out, hovering it below the countertop, hoping she won’t see what I’m doing. I type into the search bar “How do I banish a ghost from my house.”

Before I know what’s happening, she pops up behind me, looking over my shoulder, eyeing what I’ve typed into the search bar.

“It won’t work. Ask Tim. He once tried smearing the blood of a cow across his door based on some website he found. The only thing he accomplished was me sitting on his couch, laughing as the vampire bats chased after him and the bucket of blood. It was quite hilarious. Truly.”

She claps her hands together, which is weird because I can see it happen but there isn’t a sound to it. Which makes sense, I think. Honestly, I have no idea what is happening here, and I’m slightly panicking. Who am I kidding? I’m spiraling, and I don’t have a single person to ask.

She floats back over to the other side of the counter, giving me space to think. I mean, she is still rambling on, but I can’t hear it over the entire monologue running through my mind right now. Pulling my phone back up, I type in the search bar “Can ghosts harm a living person?”

I’m busy reading an article about all the things a ghost can and cannot do when I hear her clear her throat. Looking up from my phone, I immediately regret not giving her my full attention. Her cigarette is relit, and she seems to glow an odd shade of red? Is that even possible? I’ll mark that down as something to ask later. Possibly when she isn’t hovering in front of me.

“Have you even been paying attention this whole time?”

“I’m terrified to admit that I’ve been reading an article instead of listening.”

She pops her hip and glares at me. All she’s missing is a pair of glasses to peer through.

I click off my phone and slowly lay it down on the counter. Clearly that is exactly what she was looking for because she gives me a curt nod before she begins floating back and forth again.

“So, Operation Hug-A-Witch. I hopefully don’t need toexplain how to hug someone or maybe the lead up to a hug.”

“So…your advice is that I should just…hug her.”

Matilda is beaming as if I just aced a test that she’s been tutoring me on. “Exactly! A warm hug and a gentle back pat is exactly what a woman like Bellamy is looking for. She needs to see you as a safe space and a comfort at the end of her day. A woman loves a man who’s confident in his masculinity and knows how to show affection.”

Milo sighs.“We are going to die. We are literally going to die. I’m not ready to reincarnate as another wolf. Actually…maybe I’ll get a better one next time.”

“Rude. You said the same thing about the Trouble Latte, and guess what? She drank it and didn’t kill us.” I point at nothing in particular.

“I think you forget she is the one who hexed it to begin with.”

“Semantics.”

Matilda floats closer now, her expression all intrigue and confidence. “Trust me, sugar. A good hug can melt even the iciest hearts.”

“Don’t come to me when she hexes your arms to your sides.”Milo laughs.

“Right…” I glance down at the paper on the counter. The list that I was making before the matchmaking ghost dropped in like an unwanted auntie on a Sunday afternoon.

My ideas from earlier sit there as still possibilities I’ll consider, but I grab the pen and in bold letters addHUG. It’s right below the coffee, ghost cupcakes, mug, and fox treats.