Page 17 of Charmed, I'm Sure
I click the link and Milo groans even louder, grumbling about how embarrassing it is to be attached to someone like me and why couldn’t he have been given a normal human.
I skim over the opening paragraphs. Something about how none of this will guarantee that I will win over the girl, but it’s better to try and fail than to not try at all. You know the typical garbage that all the self-help books go on about.
“This is it Milo. This is how we are going to win over our mate!”
“Goddess save me now.”
“Says here that step one is to make her laugh. Alright, that can’t be that hard, I’m hilarious. Step two, respect her personal space. Well that is obvious. It’s why I haven’t shown up at her shop yet. Stop groaning Milo, these areperfect.”
“If I had hair to pull, I would be pulling it right now.”
Shaking my head, I continue on.
“Step three, listen more than you speak. Well, this one might be hard. I still haven’t had my conspiracy theory about the squirrels answered. Why was it running around with a small canvas tote and why did it glare at me? I need answers.”
“If she was going to answer back, don’t you think it would have been several texts ago?”
“Milo, you clearly don’t know anything about women. She’s reading them and probably mentally responding. Step four, give her something meaningful. Um, Milo do you have any suggestions here? Like do they mean show up with her favorite coffee or a new cauldron? Wait, is that a thing? Do they sell cauldrons?”
“Don’t even search for that next. You have no idea what you are looking for. Keep it to coffee and food. I don’t know Miles. When it comes to wolves we are not concerned with all this stuff. But Bellamy doesn’t seem like the girl you would buy flowers for, that’s for sure.”
“Okay, so let’s do coffee and those ghost cupcakes we saw. Surely she has to like cupcakes…right?”
Milo doesn’t bother responding to me this time. I can feel his irritation growing the longer I read.Maybe I should call my dad.
“Alright, step five might be a hard one. Physical touch. Not going to lie here, even though I have the urge to wrap her in a hug…I’m worried I might turn into a frog if I do.”
“She’s definitely going to do something to you if you touch her. Not sure what, but something.”
Sighing, I scroll down a little more. Ah! This one I can do!
“Step six, be yourself. That’s easy, I never try to be anyone else anyways. I’m delightful.”
“A delightful pain in my…”
“Next it says take your time. Well, that’s hard. What if I do all ten things tomorrow or today…”
“Incoming toad hex.”
“Anyways…this last one might actually be the hardest one. Not that I can’t do it, but it’s a matter of if she will even let me. Be her safe space. I can definitely pose as a pillow. A very affectionate pillow that gives warm hugs and retrieves her coffee for her when she needs a fresh one.”
“I don’t want to be a toad. I like being a wolf. Please for the love of all things magical, stop.”
I scramble to my feet, knocking my navy blue, fuzzy blanket to the floor. Dashing into the kitchen, I drag open drawer after drawer like a man possessed.
“What are you doing?”
“Searching for paper and a pen.”
If Milo had a physical form outside of our wolf form, I swear he would be hanging his head in shame right now. Either that or silently judging me from the corner. Possibly both.
“Do I even want to know why?”
“If you must know, without judgement or sassy remarks, I’m starting Operation: Woo the Witch. I’ve got to make a list of like…stuff to buy,” I mumble the last words as if we don’t share a mind and he can’t literally hear it anyways.
“If only there was a speed dial to the Goddess…”
The very last drawer pops open and I find a small scrap of paper and a pencil. Almost like it was meant to be. Odd, but I’ll take any help that fate wants to pass along. Slapping the paper down on the countertop, I scribble the words, Operation: Woo the Witch, in bold font. Tracing over it several times so it really stands out.