Page 6 of Celestial Alphas (Nexus #2)

Chapter

Five

I break up the pathetic example of bread into tiny pieces, and seeing blue inside, I’d say that’s definitely mouldy and making this cold room stink. I throw one piece at a time across the room to pass the time. I admitted too much of my past today, and they heard everything. What the hell was I thinking? I prepared for years for this, for being captured and taken to trial; I was meant to be smart, and the only thing I did was successfully make sure they think of me as nothing more than a monster who has been killing since I was a kid. I told Onyx too much too. He doesn’t care; why did I do that?

I throw another piece at the wall, and it bounces onto the floor. There are cracks in the stone wall that weren’t there earlier, and my Nexus is suspiciously quiet. If I can’t get us out of this, I know she will, and there will be a line of blood in her wake. I throw one more piece. I’m not one for wasting food. There were too many times I went hungry, but eating mould, that’s definitely where I draw a line. I’m not that hungry. I ate yesterday. Or maybe the day before. I can’t remember, but my stomach growls anyway. It’s not like I can die from hunger.

The runes on the door glow brightly right before it slams open. I frown, sitting up and dropping the rest of the bread onto the floor. It’s only been a few hours since the trial, and I don’t think it’s night yet. I feel an echo down the bond. One of my mates is here.

Finn strolls in and my eyes widen as I look at him. He’s covered in blood. The red is drenching his white shirt. His tie is half ripped, his jacket is tied around his waist, and his trousers have holes in them. One smell of the blood tells me it’s not his, and he isn’t injured. My shoulders drop in relief, even when in fact it smells like a lot of people’s blood on him. Finn runs his eyes over me once before turning to a ranger standing uncomfortably in the doorframe. “Thanks.”

The ranger, young and blond, runs his hand through his hair. “You’re so going to get me fucking fired!”

“But your girlfriend will be safe. Remember, that’s all that really matters in life, isn’t it?” Finnegan’s voice is dripping with sarcasm. “Bye, shut the door. You’re meant to lock us in here.”

“Crazy!” the ranger snaps. “For fuck’s sake, you’re going to hell! The Gods will forsake the both of you!”

I’ve heard that one before. The door slams shut, leaving me alone with the Starlight Assassin. The most dangerous man in the city…and I’m his reflection in every sense. “How did you?”

“Oh, I kidnapped his girlfriend. Left her with a friend of mine to extort his cooperation. One threat of making her disappear if he doesn’t lock me in here, and, well…” He looks so proud, it’s concerning.

I rub my arm. “I was actually asking about the blood all over you.”

“That.” He yawns. “I’ve been arrested for crimes against the Nexus State.”

“Why do you look so proud?” I ask. “And what crimes? Wasn’t it bad enough I’m locked up, now you are too?”

“Where else would I be?” He walks to the bed, and I purposely stand up off it. The bed feels too vulnerable when we are alone and he is looking at me the same way my Nexus looks at him. Like a fucking snack. My Nexus is perking up in my chest at him nearby. She may be just as mad as I am, but Finn has always been her favourite, and she doesn’t bother hiding it. Now he’s covered in blood, which is also one of her favourite things. In fact, she’s pretty much envisioning us taking our clothes off, which isn’t happening. Even if the visual is interesting. “I promised I would see you soon, and I can’t get you out, so the next best thing is coming in here and sharing a room with you. Although it’s a shit room, and that one bed is tiny.”

“What did you do?” I grit my teeth. This isn’t romantic, it’s insanity. “And it’s my bed, and you’re not invited to sleep in it.”

“Really?” he asks with a smirk that could charm the pants off anyone, female or male.

“Really?” I repeat and wave at his clothes. “Again, back to the blood.”

He sighs. “I murdered a few people to get in here. Nothing big.”

“That’s psychotic, Finn!” I snap.

“Yeah, but you like it. You like me.” He takes another step closer.

I straighten my back. “I never said that.”

“No, you’re right, but that kiss told me everything. Your eyes tell me everything. It’s that sparkle in your eye, or maybe it’s your Nexus. I’m not sure, but I know you like it. Me.” He takes another step and now we are so close. Too close.

“No, murder is not good, Finn,” I whisper, “and for the record, I hate you.”

“I hate that you left me too, Sun,” he growls right back. “But I know you did it to save me. I know you’re fucking amazing, and there is no hiding from me now. I murdered the right people, just like you do. They were annoying fuckheads that had all done serious crimes and were dead anyway. I made a public show of dragging them into the streets and lining their bodies up like an art piece. You would have loved it.”

“ Insane is not a strong enough word for you.” I shake my head.

“I like the title hero .” He is completely unfazed by my obvious horror. I actually think he likes it. My Nexus is practically drooling and happily swearing her entire life to him over this. Great, she isn’t on my side. “Anyway, it was a fun day. Do you want me to tell you about it? We can compare notes.”

“No. I don’t like murdering people, Finn. She does. It’s not something I do for, like, a recreational sport like tennis,” I mutter and sit on the bed, closing my eyes. “I’ve spent my entire life holding her back, begging her not to kill and just behave. She loves killing. I do not.”

He looks down at me. “Our Nexus are extensions of our true selves. You are a good person with a weapon that can destroy evil in our world. It’s a fine line, but you’re in denial. I don’t care either way what you want to tell yourself for now; I just want to be near you.”

I look up into his endless black eyes that are beautiful like the night sky. “You gave me up. You promised, and I trusted you. Do you know how many people I’ve ever trusted?”

“I did not willingly give you up. Onyx’s father had us surrounded when I brought you back to the house. I walked straight into a fucking trap like a moron, and I shouldn’t have. There was no choice. You were unconscious and you would have been severely hurt if I tried to fight them. But I would have, for you, if I thought they were going to kill you. I knew they wouldn’t. You’re too powerful. You’re too much of a tempting weapon for Onyx’s cunt of a father,” he explains. He didn’t give up on me. What Paavo said wasn’t true? It changes so much. Too much.

“You don’t like him either?”

“No, he’s an asshole. I don’t think even Onyx likes him.” He watches me.

“It’s his dad.”

“He’s still an asshole,” he counters.

I rub my arm. “Everything is messed up. You still betrayed me, Finn. You could have just let me go.”

“First, I couldn’t let you go, and you passed out. I was caring for you. No, I can’t do that. I can never do that now. I never betrayed you, but I did make a mistake. I fucked up.” He touches my chin with his hand, tipping my face up. “Give me a chance.”

I can’t. That’s what I want to scream. I want to shout and cry that I want for once to be normal. To be the one my mates willingly chose to spend their lives with and love me every day. I want to be chosen, not second best, not forgotten, not betrayed. I open and shut my mouth because I just don’t know what to say that could explain how I feel. I really don’t.

He kneels in front of me. Literally kneels. This powerful, dangerous assassin is on his knees for me. He picks up my hands, places them on my lap before he rests his head on my hands. My heart races as he kisses my hands and sends heat spinning through my body from the simple kiss.

“I will beg for you. I will do anything. You want me on my knees? I’ll be on my fucking knees forever. You want me to murder this whole entire city? I will fucking murder this entire city, and we can remake a world that bows for you. There’s no line I wouldn’t cross for you. There’s no place I wouldn’t go. There’s no darkness I wouldn’t completely drench myself in to save you. I’ve been obsessed, fucking obsessed, since I met you. I was obsessed before just at the idea of my mate. Nothing ever compared, no one ever did. It was just you. The moment I saw you, Gods as my witness, I wanted to fucking hate you so bad. I was jealous and angry and so many things. I thought you rejected me, but I can see it now. You rejected me to save me. I’ll probably never in a lifetime be able to make up for how much of a dick I’ve been. But I’m never going to stop trying, Sun, even if you never accept me back. Everything starts now. I’m making sure you’re not alone. One night was far too fucking much, and when I saw you in the trial, your lip cut and how tired you looked… Fuck.” He stares into my soul, right down to the stardust that makes us both. “I won’t ask who did that to you, because I don’t need to know. I only need to make sure I’m by your side so that no one has the chance to hurt you again.”

“I don’t know how to accept what you’re telling me. I thought I’d always be alone and hated,” I whisper. I feel the tears falling down my cheeks, even before he wipes them away. So gently. This massive, crazy man touches me like I’m breakable. Like I’m not a monster. Could this be real? “How can you want me?”

My heart races as he runs his hands up my thighs. “I want you more than I want to breathe, Sun.” Heat flows through my body. My Nexus is practically screaming yes, yes, go for it in my mind. But she’s never been logical. This would be more than just a kiss. It would be forgiving him. Forgiving myself. This is Finn and he is one of my mates. “Fuck it, I’ll show you.” He slams his lips onto mine, taking the decision out of both of our hands, of him begging, of me making a choice in the first place to forgive him. Thank Gods, I’m so fucking thankful he does.

His hands dip into my hair, gripping my hair roughly as he controls the kiss. Controls me. I bite his lip, and he smiles like a lunatic. He kisses me, devours me with each stroke of his lips until there’s nothing between us as he pushes me back onto the bed. His huge body somehow perfectly aligns with mine, fits perfectly against me as he deepens the kiss. I breathlessly touch his chest and break the kiss. His eyes are so dark, like swirling pits of the deep sky. “Finn, can we take things slow? Trusting you…it’s going to take time. I don’t think I know how to trust anyone.”

“As much as I want to fuck you and take you as my mate, it will be your choice. Everything is your choice,” he promises, kissing me softly just once.

“Mating is a big step, but it’s not just that. Just so you know, there are cameras watching us.” He grabs the thin blanket and pulls it over us both.

His smirk sends shivers down my spine, right between my legs. “Then keep quiet this time. I need to make you feel good. Just once.”

My mouth feels dry, and I realise I’m nervous. I haven’t been nervous like this for a long time. “I’ve never…”

His eyes shoot to mine. “Not with that Harris guy or someone else?”

I shake my head. “Harry.” I say his name softly, grief still raw in my chest. “He was like a brother to me, and there was no one for the record.”

“I’m sorry he’s gone.” Finn kisses my cheek. “No thinking about any other man while you’re in bed with me. When you’re with me, it’s me. No one else.”

I grab his chin and dig my nails in. “Don’t ever betray me again.”

His smile is feral. “I’d rather fucking die.”

“Doesn’t mean we’re even, Finny boy.” I lean my head to the side. “But I am interested in what you want to do now. This doesn’t mean I can accept you as my mate yet, and I’m not yours.”

“You’re mine.” He wraps his hand around my neck. “But making you fall in love with me is going to be a challenge. It’ll be the best fucking thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I’m never giving up. We have time to learn to trust each other, for you to tell me all the things that haunt those eyes of yours and to learn what haunts me too. I know you want to understand us, because you rejected us. You tried to save us from the beginning, and fuck, I wish I was as smart as Rhodes and figured it out. He always trusted you.”

I suspect he means it, too. “Rhodes deserves so much better than me.”

Something flashes in his eyes, and he hesitates. “We can talk later, and for the record, you deserve far better than a bastard like me, but fuck, I’m selfish and you’re mine.”

He wastes no time kissing me into madness before he slides his hand underneath my leggings, under my panties. He runs a finger down my sex, and I gasp. Touching myself has never felt this good. This is so much more intense. “You’re so wet for me, Sun. I’m going to enjoy every second I get with you. Every fucking second,” he whispers in my ear before kissing my jaw, cheek, neck, everywhere he can until he devours my lips, swallowing up each of my moans as he rubs his finger around my clit. I cling to his thick shoulders, pleasure blinding everything until it’s just Finn. It’s just him touching me.

Finn’s fingers work like he was trained to get me there. To send me screaming his name to the Gods. My body shakes, and I can’t keep the noises from coming out of my mouth. Can’t keep the pure pleasure and heat from crashing into a blinding orgasm from just his fingers. He finally breaks a kiss when I’m a shaky mess, and I realise that he kissed me so that the moans were for him only, and no one else heard them. So possessive, and he is mine.

He brings his hand up to his mouth, and he slowly licks each finger he used on me. My cheeks brighten as I watch, and my Nexus curls up in my mind, more content than I’ve ever felt her to be before. Finn holds me at his side, staring at me, and I wonder what he sees. “Finn, you don’t think I’m a monster, do you?”

“You were never a monster, and I want to kill anybody that ever thought that of you.” He runs his hand down my cheek. “I want to know everything about you. All the dark things you hide because you don’t think I’ll accept them. But first, I know you haven’t slept or eaten. Get some sleep, and the ranger is bringing us burgers and coffee in a few hours. Your favourite from the academy.”

I’ve not slept in a bed with someone before, but the moment I close my eyes, I’m out. Not even my dreams remind me that Severi will be back, and if Finn is here…he might hate me for having a Vian mate.