Page 12 of Celestial Alphas (Nexus #2)

Chapter

Eleven

ANNIE

H is parents are crying, and it makes me exasperated. They haven’t stopped crying since I got here and usually, I’d be soothing them or helping them with a kind smile and a good word. My mum would have done that and always taught me the same manners... but I can’t. I know I should be crying too. I can still feel my Nexus being ripped apart as my mate died. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt, and I know nothing will ever be as bad as that pain. The tears in it feel like claw marks ripping down my soul, leaking nothing but raw suffering into my body. My Nexus hasn’t even come out of the shell it’s built around itself inside my mind, inside my chest and my heart. I don’t think she will for a long time. Some deep part of me feels numb, but the rest is filled with anger. The irked feeling is all-consuming. Kosma betrayed our people, he betrayed us, and he did it all when he was sleeping in my bed, telling me he loved me, and we had no secrets. He took me from Starlight City after planting a bomb in a house that killed Nexus. Those people who were our friends and people from the academy who I knew. I don’t have it in me to cry for him anymore and I want to scream. I want to scream at Mr and Mrs Marsenton that he was a liar, a bad person, and he betrayed me. I want to scream it for the world to know, but I don’t. He died for me and his parents are good people who don’t deserve to know what choices he made. It would destroy them, and I won’t do that. His secret dies with me and Gwenieve’s mates. “Are you well?”

Mr Marsenton’s voice cuts through the silence of the high-class show room lounge. I shuffle on the uncomfortable white couch I’ve been sitting on for hours. “I’m fine.”

“Well, of course she isn’t fine.” Mrs Marsenton shakes her head of dark brown hair. “You’ve lost your parents and your mate.” A wail echoes from my heart. From my Nexus within me. My mum and dad are gone and there is nothing but their bodies, cold in a morgue, left of them. They were good parents, but my mum was everything to me. There wasn’t a day that went past that she wasn’t kind and sweet. My childhood is a testament to her. I can only nod in response to Mrs Marsenton. “I miss your mum dearly. We were friends, all the way through our childhoods and adulthood. There wasn’t a moment where I didn’t look to her for guidance, and she felt the same. She was my best friend.” A hiccup of a sob echoes from her. “It was the greatest thing in the world when we found out our only children are going to be together.” Her mate holds her hand tightly. “We spent hours talking about possible grandchildren and everything we envisioned for your futures. I guess that’s just... it’s gone with him.”

There is a sharp knock on the door and Mr Marsenton stands. He looks like Kosma, the same blond hair and dark eyes. “Darling Annie, I know that you said that we should not let anyone know about you being here, but for your safety, I felt that was unwise advice. There’s someone that cares about you and your family, who has always been close friends with your father and mother.” Fear makes my blood run cold as I hear the door open and I turn to see Paavo step in, closing it behind him. He is wearing a dark blue suit, shiny shoes and a frown as he meets my eyes. Paavo has always been around when I was growing up, at the house nearly every month to have dinner with my parents and every time he bought a gift for me. Unicorns, teddies and random toys that were things I liked at the time. I never liked him. There is something wrong about Paavo and I’m not sure how to explain the feeling I get when he is in the same room. Now I know what it is—he is a murderer and a betrayer. He stands still, all pretentious and smug. Onyx is different than he is, and I always wondered what Onyx would be like. Paavo never bought him to meet me in all the times he came to the house, and I never overheard him speaking about his only son. There’s nothing, just emptiness, in his eyes as he stares at me. The moment snaps and he comes straight in, his eyes looking over me like he wants to check to make sure that I’m okay. Like the bastard who killed my parents actually cares. He perches casually on the couch arm near me, and I look away to the long glass doors that overlook the massive fake grass garden, which is full of rangers.

“Thank you for telling me about Miss Donovan’s return to Starlight. Your loyalty is an honour.” I feel his eyes turn to me. “Now, where’s my son? I heard it is him we have to thank for your safe return.” When I don’t answer him, he carries on. “I only ask because of how concerned I am for his wellbeing. Sons are ending up dead, Vian are building in numbers, and he is my son. That alone puts him in the same danger you were in, Ann.”

“Annie, darling, he is only here to help you.” Mrs Marsenton’s soft voice soothes me. Not much. I know I can’t stay silent forever.

“I am very sorry for the loss of your child,” Paavo offers to her, to them both. “And you, poor young girl. To lose both your father and mother, and then your mate? Terrible. As you know, I was particularly close to your family.”

“I didn’t know that.” My cold tone echoes everywhere in the equally cold room. I try to channel Genevieve in every response I give him because I know exactly who he is, exactly what he’s done, and he is the reason my mum and my dad are gone forever. I won’t get to say goodbye to them now. I know no one will believe me if I start shouting to the world that the new alpha supreme killed the previous and betrayed us all with the help of my mate. He’ll call me crazy, say that my mind’s impaired or broken because of the loss of my mate and then they’ll lock me in some mental facility deep in the city where no one will find me. No, I can’t do that. Onyx and the others got me out, and they told me to stay silent for now. He will be knocked off his chief seat soon enough and I’m not alone. “Onyx and the others in the bond group were looking for their mate but found me.”

“For Miss Autumn, yes. We assumed they’d gone after her after she escaped and ran away from Starlight. Again. How lucky it is that they found you instead.” He watches me with calculating eyes.

I’m not good at lying, I never have been. Keeping secrets is something I can do when I need to. But Gwen, I meant what I said when I asked her to be my sister. I don’t have any true family left now. Some distant cousins here and there, but no one close. Mum and Dad, they were everything to me. I was their only child. They wanted me for so long. I remember the stories my mum used to tell me like it was yesterday that she sat at the end of my bed and told me how wanted I was. They were inches away from asking humans for IVF help. I’m not sure how IVF would even work on Nexus beings, but they were desperate for a child before my mother found out she was miraculously pregnant with me. They never had any more kids and I’m secretly glad about that. It meant I got all of their time, at least until my father became the Alpha Supreme. His time was sucked up into the job he loved. Alpha supreme, protector of Starlight City and the Nexus race. I could have changed this all if I was here and used my family’s vote, one that would have been important. Now it means nothing, and I can’t change anything now. He has the job and the power that comes with it. “Gwenieve was not there. Only Kosma and I.”

“Are you sure? Unless you personally investigated the entire mansion?—”

“How did you know it was a mansion?” I cut him off, hoping he just admitted something he shouldn’t have known.

“We tracked it, found nothing left but a burnt down forest, and what was probably left of a mansion and dead Vian. At least that’s what my rangers reported back.” He watches me very closely. “Are you sure Miss Autumn was not there?”

“No, but like I said, they were looking for their mate and mates can find each other.” I answer. “Your son said she wasn’t there, and I don’t believe they would have left without her.”

“Rejected mates are not that close,” he counters with a chip in his words. “What happened to Kosma, and how was he even there?”

More lies. I’ve just got to keep lying. “He was there with me.” I begin, trying to keep it simple. Not too much detail, the same lies that I’ve told his parents so they can have a wonderful memory of their hero son and then never know the truth. “I was attacked by Vian when we were escaping, and I was away from the others. It was a split-second thing, but he jumped in front of attacking Vian and they killed him in front of me. They drained him.” Mrs Marsenton bursts into tears and her mate holds her. “Onyx and the others killed the Vian, and they helped me bring the body back here where it rests in one of these rooms, if you wish to examine it.”

I don’t realise I’m crying until he pulls out a white handkerchief from his pocket and hands it to me. I reluctantly take it, clenching my hand around the silk. “Ann, I want you to know that you have my full backing on anything you want to do with your future. I know that you are bound to the academy, but if you wish to not go back, then as the alpha supreme, I can offer you a pass. The death of a mate is truly a terrible thing, and alongside your parents, too. It would break most Nexus apart.”

I’m not sure if he wants me to break or not. I don’t understand why he is even pretending to care right now. I already know my decision, though. “I want to go back to the academy. It is my home.”

“Ann—”

I stand up, and he stops. “Please excuse me, I am still in mourning and quite a bit of shock over everything that happened. My Nexus and I now need to be alone... to heal.” I just want to get away from him.

He rises to his feet, towering over me. “Of course. Thank you for the information you have given me, and I won’t press you further. You are free to go to the city and the academy when you feel like it. If you hear from my son or Gwen, do tell someone. They are all wanted, and they must be reported. Do you understand?”

“Of course. I heard about her crimes.” I walk to the door and stop. I have to say something. “I will just say one thing. Why do you think she was born?” There is silence as I turn to look at Paavo. “This Nexus inside her, that’s seemingly different and more powerful than anything that has been reported in a long time, can’t be here for nothing. Why now, when Vian are stronger than ever? When our people are going missing all over Starlight City? Why was she born? Why now? And why would you want to kill her? The gods do not give us our Nexus for nothing. We are starlight born alive, beautiful and endless. Timeless. That’s what we’re taught. It’s what my parents believed. We are all connected by the very stars above us. That means that she is one of us and maybe sent here for a reason.” I make sure to hold his stare. “And she is your son’s mate, bonded along with four other very powerful Nexus. I don’t believe the gods make mistakes... and we should cherish what gifts they send us.”

“I understand you have a friendship with her, but no matter what she is, she will answer for her crimes.” There’s a tightness to his lips, a flash in his eyes that tells me I’ve pissed him off.

“Good night.” I respond before I leave, feeling Paavo’s creepy eyes digging into my back until I close the door. I head up the massive marble staircase that goes up and up until I get to the fourth floor. I told Kosma’s parents that I couldn’t stay in the room that I had lived in with Kos, so they gave me the room next door. It didn’t help much. I can’t be in the room that I stayed in with him. The memories, the bedsheets that still smell like him and I...it would hurt. Our mating was so quick, so easy. Everything about Kosma was easy and perfect. It’s hard to look back and realise he was lying to me the entire time. I stare at the door of our room. Anger feels like it burns through me as I open the door, slamming it shut behind me and glance around our room. It’s full of our stuff. Tickets from the fun fair we went to are still pinned to the mirror, along with photos of us in a photo booth on the night we lost our virginities to each other. In a haze of red, I rip all the memories down, chucking the photos on the floor and go over to his cabinet. I start yanking the drawers open.

“Careful. That piece of furniture appears to be crafted from a very expensive and high-quality type of mahogany wood. Shame to break it.” I spin round, my eyes widening at the shadow man standing by the door, leaning on it like he has been there for a while.

“You’re not real. You’re just not real!” I shake my head, turning around to push myself back into the cabinet for a little strength. “My therapist said that in times of stress, I see you and you’re...” My words drift off because since I was a child, I’ve always seen this shadow man. Not always, but sometimes. A shadow of a boy that then turned into a man as we both got older, but now this shadow man is different. It’s an actual man about my age, dressed in a black jumper, dark jeans, heavy boots that cover his dark skin. He’s thick and muscular literally everywhere. He’s gigantic, actually. He looks like bloody Thor from the Marvel movies I love, except that he doesn’t have blond hair. Instead, his hair is shaved at the sides and thick black hair is spiked up in the middle, with a braid hanging by his right ear. There’s a gold piercing through his right eyebrow too. This isn’t real. I’m losing my mind. The shadow man’s lips tilt up and I can’t stop staring. Seeing him like this, not a shadow in the corner of my room, is like having an unanswered question I’ve had since childhood—answered. This is what he looks like.

There’s a roughness to him that seems unnatural as his shining gold, actual gold eyes lock onto me. “Hello Annie.”

“What the fuck? What the actual fuck?” I whisper.

“Don’t scream. You’ll just send those two annoying pair of twits running up here, worrying about you, or even worse, calling the alpha supreme to come and lock you up.” He grins. “Wouldn’t want that, would we?”

“How do you know they’re in the house? Or who they are?” I demand.

“Because I can see what you’re doing and who you are with. I’ve been watching you for a while. We’ve always been haunting each other since we were children, haven’t we?”

“No,” I draw out the word. “You’ve been haunting me, but you’ve always been a shadow man. Not real. Like I said, my therapist told me?—”

“Your therapist was wrong.” He purrs and goosebumps litter my skin. “Your mate bond clouded me. What’s real and what’s not, well that’s still up for discussion between us when you’re ready to know my name.”

I don’t know where to begin with that. “What do you mean, my mate bond clouded you?”

“He made it hard for me to appear close to you as my true self.” He steps up off the door and leans down in the middle of the room, picking up a picture of me and Kos. “But as it turns out, Kos was a betraying little shit, so it’s good that he’s dead and out of the way. I would have killed him in the end to get to you. You can’t escape me anymore.” The picture fades into nothing but black dust in his hand.

I lean backwards, pressing myself against the cabinet draws as he steps forward. I hold a hand up. “No closer.”

“What were you looking for in the draw, Annie?” He asks, not moving.

My heart is racing. I was looking for proof that Kosma had been betraying me for years, messages or something to the Vian. I need to know when it begun, when he decided to betray everything and maybe for an answer to why. I just need to find something in this place, something to make it make sense. Because it doesn’t. I don’t know if anything could ever make it. “Nothing. You’re not real.”

“I am.” He smoothly counters, his accent thick and unusual. I don’t have a clue where he is from. The room feels colder with every second he is here.

“What are you?” I demand.

“You want to play a game of asking questions? No, I’m not ready to play that game with you yet.” He crosses his arms, flexing the muscles there.

My heart races for some wild reason. “You know what? Screw this.” I walk past him, careful not to get close, and straight into the walk-in wardrobe. I grab a bag and just start throwing my clothes in it, knowing he is watching. He’s just a shadow man, with no name, and he isn’t real.

I storm out of the room and to the door. “Where are you going?”

“Away. I don’t even know if you’re real, but just...” I shake my head. “You’re not real and the stress of losing everyone has messed with my mind. I’ll go to the academy and then things will settle down again. I won’t let grief turn me crazy.”

“Grief won’t turn you crazy, Annie, but I might just do if you don’t start believing I’m real and you ain’t getting rid of me now. Or ever. Not while there’s nothing to stop me from getting to you.” He smirks at me. “I’ll see you soon, my ghost.”

He disappears right in front of my eyes. My shadow man just spoke to me and is ridiculously hot. I’m losing my mind. I’ve been in so many therapy classes about this shadow man that I’ve seen since I was a kid. They always told me it wasn’t real, that he would go away when I got older. He kind of did, at least for the last couple of years, and now he’s back. I’ve made the shadow into a real shadow man like a lunatic. They say Gwen’s the crazy one, but really, it’s my brain. I need to get out of here. I practically run to the living room and find Kosma’s parents where I left them, but thankfully Paavo has left. “I’m going back to the academy. I’m feeling a calling, like I need to be back there. It’s the only place that I’ll truly heal. I hope you understand and don’t mind me borrowing a car.”

“Nonsense. Please take any of the cars. The keys are on the wall in the garage.” Mr Marsenton offers.

“I wish you would stay, Annie.” Mrs Marsenton sighs. “But Kos was so proud of you for going there, for being strong and training and everything else you rangers do for our kind. We can’t stop you from following your destiny. Maybe one day with rangers like you, there won’t be any more parents mourning their children because Vian took them away.” She stands and comes to me. “You know where we are. You’re all that we have left now. I know that you won’t need money, not after your father and mother have left you a lot, but if you need anything, please ask us. Please don’t be a stranger.”

I kiss her on the cheek. “I won’t be. I’ll call soon. Thank you for everything you’ve done.” I leave them both. The sound of Mrs Marsenton’s cries echoing to me until I’m at the other side of the mansion, opening the door to the garage and the line of expensive cars. Maybe when I’m back in the academy, I won’t see my shadow man anymore. I swear, his dark laugh echoes out of the shadows, taunting me with the fact that he said I can’t escape him anymore.