Page 54 of Caught By the Chief of Staff

Chapter 17

Settle in

“Hello?” I hear Rick’s deep voice answer his phone after it rings somewhere deeper in the house, and I open my eyes.

I feel like shit.

My throat is rough and scratchy, and my head is pounding. Thick crust coats my eyelashes, and after the epic meltdown I had, I’m guessing I look like a cousin of Quasimodo.

I look around. I’m lying in a rough pine log bed that’s probably barely a double bed. Matching furniture is scattered all around the room, and bare light-yellow walls that have aged with time, but were obviously still cared for, surround us. On a better day, I would wonder how often Rick finds time to come out here and remember his grandparents, people I had never gotten the chance to meet.

“Hey, baby,” he says as he sits down in the crook of my legs, his phone call clearly over.

“Hi,” I say, brushing my hair back from my face. Someone must have taken down my bun.

“How are you feeling?” Rick smooths the palm of his hand up and down the outside of my thigh. It’s not sexual; it’s comforting, almost like he’s gentling a spooked horse.

“Like hammered horse shit,” I respond, making him smile enough that the sides of his eyes crinkle. The Rick of my youth didn’t have as many lines around his eyes where now they’re more prominent, yet, but this Rick is older, more seasoned, and no less handsome. If anything, age has made him better-looking.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks softly.

“That you got better-looking with age, and I just got old.” I laugh, but the laughter dies in my throat when his palm lands flat on the outside of my ass. The crack was just enough to sting.

“Ouch, what was that for?” I ask as I rub the skin to soothe the burn.

“You are not old,” he says while making an angry face. “And I’m still older.”

“Yeah, but you’re hot and still in great shape,” I admit before patting my tummy. “And I got squishy.”

“I had no life outside of work before you came back,” he growls. “And I like you soft.”

“Thanks,” I respond, rolling my eyes.

“If we were alone, I’d show you how much I like it, but I think you already know.”

The reminder of where we are and why shoots ice water through my veins, cooling my pique. “Yeah.”

“Hey,” he says. “It’s going to be okay.”

“How can you say that?” I demand, pushing up from the bed and away from Rick. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“Like you,” he strikes with his words, ripping my heart in two. “I seem to remember you promising forever and then running at the first hurdle.”

“That’s not fair.”

“You know what’s not fair?” he asks me but doesn’t give me a chance to answer, which is probably a good thing, seeing as the list of my transgressions grows by the minute. “That I was denied a life with you and our daughter, and now that it’s all out on the table, you’re still running.”

“I’m not running.”

“Good,” his voice rumbles in his chest. “Because I think I’ve made myself perfectly clear.”

“Oh yeah?” I snap. “How’s that?”

“If you run, I’ll chase you. Simple as that.”

Simple as that.

But it’s not. Nothing is simple at all. Rick is lying to himself and me if he thinks this can end well at all. I know he’s just telling me what I want to hear, but I’m tired of lying and being lied to. Why can’t we just be honest with each other? Why does it always have to be so damn complicated between Rick and me? I can’t keep doing this. I said my goodbyes already, so if Rick wants to keep pretending everything will work out all right in the end, that’s fine by me, but I won’t be here to play his games.