Page 8

CHAPTER 8

CLAWDIA

E lizabeth strolled inside as though she owned the place. She frowned at Lydia and then turned her gaze to us. “Who is this?” she asked.

Charlie countered her question with another question. “How the fuck did you get in?”

She rolled her eyes. “Magic. Don’t underestimate me, Charlie. I’m the witch representative now.”

He crossed his arms. “You’re really leaning into this job role for someone who had to be talked into it.”

“And you look like the leader of a mafia, sat in your chair with those three around you.” She tutted. “Really, you’ve frightened this poor girl half to death.”

“That’s right, blame me. Not like you barging in didn’t scare her,” Charlie grumbled.

“She just learned a few home truths, that’s all,” I said.

Understanding lit Elizabeth’s eyes and she turned to Lydia. “Ah. You must be the potion master. Thank you for coming. I hope my son and his friends weren’t too unwelcoming.”

“Son? He’s your son? You’re on his side?”

“Side?”

Charlie sighed. “The side where we rescue the evil demons and ruin the witch's plans.”

“Ah.” Elizabeth nodded and held out a hand to help Lydia to her feet. “I’m sure this is all very confusing for you. Come for a walk with me, dear. I need to explain a few things before we go any further.”

Lydia cast us a quick glance, and I waved as Elizabeth ushered her out of the door. The sudden quiet was so welcome we all sighed.

“Thank God she’s gone.”

Baelen raised a questioning eyebrow at me. “I’ve never seen you so possessive, Sunlight.”

“I don’t like her thinking she can have Charlie again.” I looked down at Charlie, my hand still touching him. “And I didn’t like her looking at you half naked either. You’re mine. Put clothes on before she comes back. If I see her eyes drop to your chest again, I might do something I’ll later regret.”

Charlie stood up laughing. “You know I’d love to see that cat fight.”

“Your mother needs her alive,” I muttered.

He laughed again before he dropped a kiss to my forehead and headed upstairs. “Don’t start the lecture before I get back,” he called to Baelen, who nodded. I frowned but turned in Zaide’s arms to nuzzle into his chest. His arms surrounded me in the warmest hug, and all my tension melted away.

“Little Cat, you should also get dressed,” Zaide said into my hair. My legs were admittedly cold, but he was doing a great job of warming me.

Baelen whispered, “No need to hurry. You smell delicious,” as he crowded behind me, pressing me closer to my soul pair and settling his hands on my thighs.

I shivered as excitement swirled in my stomach. “I do?”

“You and Charlie celebrated without us last night,” he whispered, his lips brushing the tip of my ear.

“You can smell that?”

“I can.”

I looked over my shoulder to see him. “Are you upset?”

He smiled. “Disappointed to have missed it, yes, but not upset it happened. You and Charlie can have time together just as we all do.”

My eyes widened as my gaze flicked from Baelen’s smug grin to Zaide’s shy smile. “Did something happen between you?”

“Not what you are thinking.”

“I allowed him some blood. From my finger,” Zaide whispered.

I knew exactly how much that meant to my soul pair. He struggled so much with blood, considering his past, and feeding Baelen would have triggered him in ways I couldn’t imagine. Yet he fought against his fear and offered something so sacred to his people, to his soul mate.

“You did? That’s incredible, Zaide. I’m so proud of you. That must have been hard.” I squeezed him, and he squeezed gently back. I looked back at Baelen. “Does our blood taste the same? Is he your sunlight too?”

I wasn’t really concerned Zaide was going to take my nickname. In fact, I was happy to share it, as well as everything else, with him. But it might get confusing if we were both Baelen’s sunlight.

Baelen’s eyes glazed as he thought. “There are only varying periods of darkness in Akar; our stars are so dim. Your blood is like the sunlight I experience in Tartarus. Powerful. Bright. Warm. Zaide’s is the same but not. My favorite time of day in Tartarus is when the sun falls just behind the horizon and the light scatters across the sands, making them sparkle. The sky darkens, but the land comes alive for the few moments before darkness falls. His blood is like this. Brilliant. Tinged with the dark. He is my sunset.”

I stared in awe at my mate. So poetic and honest. I couldn’t help but be impressed. “Wow.”

I looked up, noting with extreme happiness that Zaide’s cheeks had turned that lovely rose gold from a blush, and his eyes stared forward at our soul mate with the beginning of love.

My lips pressed together so I didn’t squeal with excitement. There was nothing more I wanted than to see them come together. I wasn’t jealous to think about it. I loved them both so much, and they were as made for each other as I was. I only wanted them to feel that too. To fall in love and be as they were meant to be.

They were hesitant and nervous around each other, and I found it so endearing to watch these men learn to be vulnerable with each other, to lower their guards, to open their hearts and forget their fears.

I also found it frustrating. Short of shouting “Kiss!” at them through our bonds, I couldn’t push them.

The sexual tension made me squirm, and Zaide’s hands tightened around my body as Baelen’s eyes darkened and fell to me. “Clawdia,” he growled in warning.

“I can’t help that,” I hissed.

“Perhaps I should do something about it, then.”

He kissed me, and I fell into the feeling of his lips, his hands holding my neck and his thumb stroking my jaw. I should have loved being in his arms, but there was a nagging voice full of guilt and anxiety in the back of my mind. How could I enjoy his love and affection when I knew it would disappear as soon as I confessed the truth?

I pulled back and saw the confusion in his gaze as he asked, “Sunlight?”

Just then, Charlie hurried back down the stairs, washed and dressed. “Do either of you have my phone by any chance?”

Zaide replied but didn’t back away from me. “Yes. It’s there on the counter. I plugged it into your charger.”

Charlie paused, his eyebrow raised in surprise, before he smiled proudly. “Look at you learning the tech and the lingo. We’ll make a modern man out of you yet.”

“Male,” Zaide muttered into my hair as he kissed my head.

“Semantics.” Charlie pulled the phone off the line and smiled as he placed it in his pocket. He clapped. “Right. I’m starving, and it feels like ages since I’ve had a decent meal. Fancy going out? I can’t be arsed for the conversation we’ll get dragged into with Lydia and Elizabeth if we stay here.”

He was right. Staying there would mean planning our next move, listening to Elizabeth’s plans for Lydia, and telling them what happened to the dragon and what I knew about it.

But I couldn’t do that without discussing it with my bonds first. They deserved a private conversation.

“That would be nice, actually.”

“It’s a date.” He winked at me before looking at the others. “Now let go of my familiar and get ready. I’ll leave a note for the others, and hopefully nothing will fall apart while we eat.”

He was talking about the task team getting into trouble, but I knew the next disaster would come from much closer to home, and the responding fallout would be my fault.

In my familiar form, I jumped out of Charlie’s window in an automated move that, despite not having been done for a while, felt just as natural as when I did it every day.

Over the kitchen roof, down onto the fence, before dropping to the grass and hurrying inside the cat flap; it was as easy. I sneaked past everyone milling about the kitchen and living room and headed straight upstairs to Winnie’s bedroom.

It looked exactly as I left it and was no less heartbreaking to see. The small picture of us on her bedside table reminded me things weren’t going back to the way they used to be and I’d never see my first friend—my sister—in this life again.

She would have had advice for me.

She would say something like “Relationships aren’t always good. Sometimes you’ll fight, and sometimes you’ll do or say things you regret. Just apologize, and hopefully they forgive you. And if it takes them some time, stick with it, especially if you think they are worth it.”

It was probably my imagination, but I thought I could hear her voice as I shifted into my human form and took a few pieces of her clothes to wear to dinner.

“Does this say ‘I need you to forgive me for the secrets I’ve kept and the impact it will have on our lives?’” I whispered to myself. I half hoped I could turn around and find Winnie on the bed ready to give her opinion as I often did. She wasn’t, but a voice in my head gave her reply.

“It says ‘I’m wearing my old witch’s clothes, and they don’t fit.’”

I sighed. It would have to do, though. I also raided what remained of her makeup for some mascara, blush, and a light pink lipstick that made me look a little more put together than I felt.

Dressed, I slipped back out of the house with no one noticing. I assumed they were in the garage looking through Winnie’s spell books and other such things.

I knocked on Charlie’s door since I didn’t have magic to let myself in, and Charlie opened it. He grinned when he saw me and shouted, “Lads, our date’s come to pick us up.”

I rolled my eyes as I walked past him into the house.

“Not so fast.” He snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me against his chest. His lips were on mine in a flash, and I bit his lip. He pulled away. “What was that for?”

“I just put on lipstick, and you’re going to ruin it.” It had nothing to do with the fact I felt sick to my stomach.

Just get there, sit down, tell them everything, and hopefully all this worry will be for nothing and they will be the supportive bonds you wish them to be.

Zaide and Baelen smiled as they joined us. Zaide took my hand, and Baelen kissed my cheek as Charlie picked up his keys and shouted up the stairs to Daithi and Savida, “We’re going for dinner! See you later.”

We arrived at the restaurant half an hour later, but I had barely opened my mouth to speak in the car and on the short walk. The men chattered away, oblivious since I had kept our bonds locked down since last night and they therefore couldn’t feel the anxiety rolling in my stomach.

By the time the server had seated us at a booth by the window, I was sure my skin had a green tinge. The smell of the food didn’t stir my hunger, just my dread. I sat in the corner with Zaide next to me when I realized I was opposite Baelen and Charlie. Looking Baelen in the eyes to talk was going to be … difficult.

It’s all in your head. Everything will be all right. They love you.

We took the menus handed to us by our server, and when she left, I began, interrupting the easy conversation the men were having.

“I know you guys are planning to tell me off about what happened. I know I promised I wouldn’t put myself in danger anymore and that I wouldn’t keep things from you, and I’m really sorry that I’ve let you down, but before you start, I just want to explain everything because I can’t continue keeping secrets anymore.”

“You’re going to tell us here?” Charlie asked, his face dropping, and my guilt increased tenfold.

He probably just wanted a nice night with us, some good food, and a moment’s peace.

I did too. But I couldn’t guarantee when I’d have another vision, and I didn’t want them to find out before I’d told them.

I looked at the table as I muttered, “It’s away from everyone else and public so no one can react poorly.”

“You expect us to get that angry?” Baelen asked.

“I know you will,” I whispered.

Zaide squeezed my hand. “As Charlie once said, there’s nothing we cannot forgive. Whatever your secrets are, they are ours, and we will deal with them.”

The waitress interrupted, “Can I get you some drinks?”

I hadn’t even looked at my menu. “Just water for me.”

I didn’t hear what the others had told her. I just willed her away with every fiber of my body so I could relieve myself of the tension and secrets.

“Continue, Sunlight. You aren’t going to eat as distressed as you are.”

“Speaking of eating, you’re going to look strange if you don’t order something, Baelen. Order me a mac and cheese, and I’ll swap plates with you once I’ve finished my steak. I’m starving.”

“Charlie, you won’t manage all that,” I protested.

“I’m a dragon now. We have a big appetite. It’s going to do havoc to my shopping bill, but it might be worth it.”

Zaide exclaimed, “Well, I’d also like another dish.”

“Order something as a side, then. Maybe get a few. The garlic potatoes look amazing.”

“Gentlemen,” I hissed. “I’m trying to explain something, and you’re not even trying to listen.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Charlie said, dropping the menu. “I just like to make sure we have our orders straight so we can get them in ASAP.” He offered me a sheepish smile. “What are you having?”

I sighed. “Probably Shepard's pie.”

“Good choice.”

The waitress came back with our drinks and placed them on the table. “Are you ready for food?”

Charlie read out the orders, and I placed my hands around the glass of cold water, taking deep breaths before assuring myself again.

It’s going to be fine. They love you. They will not hate you.

I didn’t understand why I was so nervous to tell them.

Perhaps I feared breaking my promise to them since any infraction of the rules in the past was punished with a beating.

Perhaps I didn’t want the confrontation because in that same past, my words had been twisted and used against me.

They aren’t your parents. They definitely aren’t Fafnir. It’s fine. Calm down.

I took a sip of my water and started, “Do you remember when I started my period in the cabin?”

“Yes.”

“Absolutely.”

“And I saw the flash of our children.”

“Yes.”

“I assumed it was Nisha who sent me the vision of them since we’d been in constant communication, and then when she was there guiding me through visions of Fafnir’s life so I could understand more about his past, I thought it was all her.”

I swallowed thickly. “But she told me recently that she is dying, and the curse of seeing the future, the power of the Fates themselves, is being transferred. To me. The visions I saw were mine, not hers. She is slowly seeing less and less and teaching me how to control the power.”

Baelen’s eyes flashed red, and I knew he was about to explode, but I needed to explain everything before he yelled at me. “Please let me finish. I promise you’ll get to speak, but I need to tell you everything.”

“There’s more?”

“Last night, after she told me, I went to speak to Daithi because I know what a curse this is and how it affects both your mother and Daithi and how it will affect us. I wanted advice. But then I had a vision. On my own. Properly. And I saw the dragon attacking us on the top of the office building and knew I had to do something. Rather than telling you, because I knew you would all question me, I manipulated us into what I thought would be the best position to save us but didn’t succeed. The protector died.”

“Little Cat, this is all?”

The waitress interrupted with our food, and as she set the steaming Shepard’s Pie in front of me, I bit my lip to stop from screaming.

All I wanted was to get this off my chest. All I wanted was to tell them because the secret itched under my skin like a poisonous leaf reaction. My bonds dug into their food, except Baelen, who stared at me waiting.

“No. There’s more. I also had another vision after we killed the dragon. Fafnir swore revenge on me for sabotaging the hunter compound, and I learned that the dragon, the same dragon I just killed, was actually Fafnir’s dragon. He no longer has a dragon. He’s separated the two.”

I took a deep breath and gulped some water, racking my brain for anything else I needed to confess. “That’s everything, I think.”

“Are you going to eat something now?” Charlie asked.

I looked at the food, and my stomach growled so loud that I could have sworn that the table next to us looked over. “Perhaps in a moment.”

Charlie was on his way to finishing his plate while eyeing the side dishes he’d ordered. Zaide had eaten slowly with one hand while his other hand gripped mine firmly. Baelen was glaring.

“This is what you feared was unforgivable?” Zaide asked, his voice low and calm.

“I hope it's not unforgivable, but I know it’s more bad news on top of a bad situation and a worse-looking future. I’m sorry.” My gaze met Baelen’s, and I said, “I’m sorry because I know how much this is going to hurt and upset you, and the last thing in the world I want to do is cause you pain. I love you, and if I could undo this, if I could save your parents and push this curse back so it didn’t touch you again, I would. But with everything else that’s going on, I can’t do that right now.”

I hoped that there would be some kind of forgiveness in his eyes, some kind of light that told me he understood and forgave me, but all I could see was anger. I swallowed.

He won’t hurt me. He’s angry, but he won’t hurt me. Not all anger means pain.

But that’s not true. Emotional pain is still pain.