Page 44 of Catching Kyle (Football Heartthrobs #1)

“Hurry,” I say, jokingly. “Or else the chicken and waffles will get cold.”

He whips his head to me. “Chicken and waffles? Alright, I’m hurrying.”

He quickly gets dressed, and we head over to the house. When we get there, Silas, the other bookseller at the Book Corner, has already arrived. He’s wearing boots and a cowboy hat, his shirt unbuttoned low enough to show some chest hair.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite football player,” he says, reaching to shake my hand.

“Good to see you again, Silas. Glad you’re eating with us.”

With that, Michael walks from the kitchen into the main room, and all eyes fall on him.

“Well, who’s this?” Silas asks, reaching out his hand to him.

The room is silent, waiting for me to answer.

Michael shakes his hand, but clearly he’s expecting me to answer the question for him.

I take him in, his wonderful ginger mullet disheveled, his still-sleepy eyes only somehow making him look more handsome.

I can still smell him on my skin, and I can still feel his unfailing kindness in my heart.

So I take the risk.

“This is my boyfriend,” I say. “Michael.”

Jimmy and Silas both look at me like I’ve grown a second head. But my ma doesn’t even look away from the TV. Of course, because she already knows.

Silas breaks from his stupor. “Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Michael,” he says.

Michael blushes, sneaking a glance up to me, smiling. “Nice to meet you too. ”

The rest of the morning, we eat, talk about the parade.

Silas and Michael, both gay booksellers, immediately flock to the couch next to my ma and talk feverishly about books, hardly touching their food because they’re so distracted.

Jimmy and I talk about the football season as we eat: teams that have improved, who’s headed to the playoffs, and so on.

And I’m just surprised by how easy this is.

Whenever I’m at practice, or a game—or hell, anywhere else—I constantly have to act the part. To be manly enough, to give off that I’m attracted to women and not men.

But not now. As lunch rolls around and my ma pulls out Settlers of Catan, Michael finds his way to my side and leans against me.

And I put my arm around him. And no one cares.

Occasionally, my ma will sneak a glance, but I can tell she’s giddy about the relationship and just wants to take it in.

Though I can see how surprised Jimmy and Silas are to see me with a man on my arms, they don’t question it.

It’s normal to them. They’re both gay men after all, but still. It’s so nice to just be normal.

When the sun sets, Ma says it’s time for dinner. And boy is it a feast. The table is covered in plates and saucers, and so is the kitchen counter. After her blessing, she tells us to eat whatever we want and that the rest will be distributed tonight just before the show on the water.

“What is this show?” Michael asks.

“Oh, it’s beautiful,” Jimmy says, pouring more gravy onto his potatoes. “Everyone who’s got a cabin around the lake lights lanterns and spreads them across the water. And then there’s a little string quartet at that plays Christmas music on the community center dock.”

“If I had a boyfriend,” Silas says. “That’s where I’d take him.”

“Yeah,” Jimmy says somberly. “Me too.”

“Sorry, buddy,” Silas says, rubbing his hand.

“I’ll survive,” he says. “Glad to be here with you all.”

With the five of us, the conversation never seems to end.

Ma will ask Michael something about his writing.

Jimmy will get in on the conversation. And then Jimmy will talk about his aspirations, what recipes he’s experimenting with and where he wants to travel.

Then Silas will break in and talk about all the places he’s been, and for someone only a few years younger than me, I’m impressed.

Sure, it was born of running away from home, but it feels like Silas has lived more lives than one.

And this whole time, what makes me happier than anything, is that Michael is beaming. My boyfriend is beaming. And I’m grateful for it. I know he isn’t close with his family at all. I’m glad that we can be his family tonight. And hopefully for a lot longer.

“So I gotta ask,” Jimmy says, finishing off his beer and pointing the neck between us. “How did you two meet?”

I blush, and Michael laughs. “It’s actually a crazy story.” He glances at me. “Can I tell them?”

My arm resting on the back of his chair, my hand scratching his back, I smile and nod. I could listen to him talk about anything for any length of time, but this… I particularly want to hear him say it.

As he tells the story, he spares no detail. He gets them to laugh, to gasp. And that’s when I’m reminded what phenomenal storyteller this man is. He has them eating out of the palm of his hand.

“And now we’re here,” Michael says.

“Holy shit,” Jimmy says, looking at him, then me. “That’s awesome as hell.”

“Right?” Michael says.

My ma gasps. “All this good conversation and no dessert? What kinda host am I?” She pushes back her chair, but Silas stands up first.

“No,” Silas says, putting his hand out. “Ms. Higgins, you’ve done too much already. I’ll get the pies. You haven’t even finished your food.”

“But I—”

“No ‘buts’,” he says, wiping his face and setting down his napkin. “Let me have the honor of helping you miss. Please.”

She scooches her chair back in. “Fine, fine,” she says.

And I nearly drop my jaw and Silas makes his way to our fridge.

“I’m impressed,” I say. “No one gets my ma to back down.”

“You need someone just as stubborn,” Silas says. “And I think I’m just her match.”

“Hush,” ma says, taking a sip of her eggnog.

Michael watches the whole thing with the widest grin on his face. God, I’m so happy that he’s happy here. My ma asks him a question about his writing, and then they get wrapped up in some conversation.

Jimmy taps me on the shoulder. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure,” I say, putting my napkin down. We walk into the family room and stand on the far side.

“How are you pulling this off?” he asks, gesturing between me and the kitchen. He’s asking about Michael. “You’re one of the most recognizable NFO players.”

“I have a fake girlfriend,” I say.

Jimmy widens his eyes. He just watches the games. He doesn’t know about the ‘me being single’ drama.

“Tigers management doesn’t know about Michael,” I say. “We’ve kept it a secret for this long.”

He wipes his face and pulls on his beard. “Sheesh, Kyle. You’ve really fucked yourself with this.”

My chest tightens. Hearing him say that reminds me how insane this actually is.

“But it’s working.”

He points to the kitchen. “I can see how much that man loves you,” he says. “It pours out of him. He’s bursting at the seams with it.”

“Yeah,” I say, blushing. “And I love him too.”

“I’m sure you do,” he says. “But what are you going to do if this secret is leaked? If they discover your girlfriend is fake? I don’t think love will be enough in that case.”

The thought makes dread pool in my chest. “I’m not sure.”

He shakes his head. “Joe was the same way with me,” he says.

“All talk. He said he loved me, that he would always care for me. But when I was no longer convenient for him—when didn’t want to tell his family about us—he found someone else.

He cheated on me, then he dropped me like I was a scorpion in his hands. ”

I scoff. “But I wouldn’t do that to Michael.”

“Unfortunately, you don’t know that. Kyle, this world you and I grew up in—the world that teaches that gay men like you and I aren’t worth shit, that we’re morally depraved and will burn in hell.

That shit plays with our minds. It distorts our thinking.

It makes us do things we would never otherwise consider doing. ”

I feel myself getting hot, and the collar of my shirt gets tight.

“So sure, you feel good right now because you’re with people who love you.

” He pokes me hard in the chest. “I love you. Your mama loves you. Silas is newer to this, but I’m sure he loves you too.

And that Michael—boy, he’s got a bright, loving future.

And you’re lucky you have his love. But the second you go back into the world of football, hear all that talk of fucking women and talk of pussies and faggots and so on—you’re gonna feel differently.

Think differently. Maybe even do something you wouldn’t do right now.

I would know because it happened to me.”

I run my tongue across my teeth, anxiety making my heart race. “So what do I do?”

He sighs and puts his hand on his hip. “I can’t answer that for you,” he says. “I don’t know what coming out could do to you.”

“They’ll probably break my contract. They can.”

“And what’s alternative? Let’s say your little secret girlfriend thing works. What happens then with you and Michael?”

“We’ll become official after,” I say. “Assuming we make it to the Championship Game, that’s only a couple more months.”

He folds his thick arms and shakes his head. “I don’t know, man. Like I said, this homophobic world makes us do crazy shit. What does Michael think of all this? Does he trust you? I don’t know if I would.”

Heat flushes throughout my body, and I can feel my face get red. I didn’t go through all my daddy’s stuff, decide to choose Michael over him, and continually risk my career just to be told I’m not trustworthy .

“You don’t know what I’ve been through,” I say. “You don’t get to judge me.”

“I’m not judging you,” he says. “I’m warning you.”

I scoff. “I don’t need your warning.” I brush past him, then he grabs my arm.

“Look,” he says, sighing. “I’m sorry.”

I soften a bit.

“I’ve just… been through a lot these past months. You’re right, I don’t know what it’s like in your shoes. You might do better than Joe. But just be wary, okay? If not for me, then for Michael. He trusts you. He loves you. Don’t betray him.”

I chew on my lips. Then I open my arms. “Come here.”

I wrap my arms around the big man, and he does the same, patting my back.