Page 29 of Catching Kyle (Football Heartthrobs #1)

Michael Cunningham

“Your mysterious sexy critique partner is Kyle fucking Weaver?” Amani asks.

I gesture for her to be quiet as she, Skye, and Josue walk through Kyle’s front door.

“We don’t want his neighbors hearing,” I say, shutting his door behind them. “Quiet!”

“This is fucking insane,” she says.

“Yeah,” Skye says. “You’re fucking a football player? That’s honestly so hot.”

Josue laughs. “Write a romance about that.”

I pause, thinking about what a crazy kind of story that would be, then shake myself from my stupor. “I know this is wild, but it’s serious. Very serious. And there’s a lot on the line. I need to ask that you be respectful and understanding.”

Amani shakes her head. “Shit, I will be. But God, I wish you told me about this sooner! Coming from the man who thought he would never find love.”

“Well don’t say that too soon,” I say, leading them down the hall. “Because I invited you all here to discuss how the hell we’re going to do this.”

Kyle’s sitting on the couch wearing a sleeveless Budweiser shirt and some basketball shorts. I don’t know if this or the suit is hotter. This man can make anything work.

He stands up, and Amani fangirls, making some high-pitched squeal that could either be the result of pure fear or pure excitement .

He wears this cute, boyish grin as he extends his hand to hers. “Kyle Weaver,” he says.

She shoots her hand out. “I’m Amani,” she says. “Super big fan!”

Skye introduces herself, remarkably calm as she shakes his hand, but Josue is shaking when he approaches him. I keep forgetting how famous this man actually is.

We all sit down on Kyle’s couch, and then everyone turns to me. Right, I’m the one with the plan.

“So, as you all now know, Kyle Weaver has been the one I’ve been secretly meeting with for the past two months.”

“Insanity,” Amani says.

“Cool as hell,” Skye says.

“Unbelievable,” Josue says.

Kyle blushes. I glance at him, wanting his approval to move forward with the plan. He nods and leans forward.

“I’m kinda in a sticky situation,” he says, pulling on one of his beard. “My contract with the Tigers ended this last season.” He pauses for a beat, thinking. “Before my dad died, I promised that I would win him a Williams.”

“Williams?” Skye asks.

“Championship Game trophy,” Josue responds.

“Ah,” she says, nodding. But still not really getting it. I love her.

“But the Tigers are threatening to not re-sign me unless I have a girlfriend.”

Amani scoffs. “What? You have to be married to play or something?”

“Not everyone,” he says. “But the ‘Sexiest Man Alive’? Before the Championship Game this February, my team was getting all sorts of questions. Not about our playing or season, but about my sexuality. The most eligible bachelor, they say, has no reason being single.”

“So they think you’re tarnishing their image,” Josue says.

Kyle nods. “And distracting other players. The NFO will say they aren’t discriminatory like that, but they’ll find a way to keep anyone gay off their teams.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Amani says. “You’re not even hurting anyone. ”

“But football is the paradigm of American masculinity,” I say. “A gay player threatens this image.”

“And so the problem is,” Amani says, leaning forward, her hands in her lap. “You guys want to date. But you can’t. Because the shitty NFO—no offense—is making you get a girlfriend.”

Kyle laughs. “None taken,” he says. “And that’s pretty much spot on.”

Amani looks at me. “And you had some bright idea?”

I chew on my lips, the idea not feeling as bright as it did this morning. Probably due to the post-sex high. But it’s the only thing I got.

“Fake-dating,” I say.

She tilts her head, then her eyes widen in recognition. “You aren’t thinking…”

“I definitely am,” I say, unable to keep in my laugh. “It’s insane, but I can’t think of anything else.”

“Wait,” Skye says. “Your idea is to have Kyle find a fake girlfriend?”

“And then you two can date in secret?” Josue asks.

“Damn,” Kyle says. “How did you all get that before me?”

“Most of us are romance readers and writers,” Amani says, patting him on the knee. “This is our bread and butter.”

Kyle shrugs.

“But what I’m stuck on is how we do this,” I say. I look at Kyle. “Who knows that your gay?”

He winces. “Well, you all now,” he says. “And my therapist.”

“She single?” Amani asks.

He gives her a vicious, but playful, side eye, his lip curled up. “She’s married. And old.”

She throws her hands up in defense. “Just asking.” They both laugh, and a pit forms in my stomach. They’re hitting it off better than me and Kyle did.

He sighs. “My ma doesn’t even know,” he says, shaking his head. “How am I supposed to find someone who I can trust to keep this thing secret? At least until the next season is over. I can’t think of anyone.”

The five us sit there in silence.

“Well,” Josue says. “The five of us know. ”

We all look at him.

“Kyle and I can’t fake date for… obvious reasons. Michael, you can’t even real-date him. So that leaves…”

“I’m just saying, you and I would not work,” Skye says, shaking her head as she lays back into the couch.

“You’re a gorgeous man, and I’m a beautiful woman.

But I’m open and loud about being trans.

And if they’re worried about you being gay, dating a trans-woman wouldn’t exactly cover up that reputation. It’d do the opposite.”

I frown. It sucks, but she’s probably right.

“So that leaves you, Amani,” Josue says.

She looks around at all of us as we stare at her, waiting for a response.

My heart begins to race. “But that one Chinese woman—Angie? You danced with her at the bar that one night. You got her number, right?”

“Yeah,” she says, frowning. “And she ghosted me.”

“Oh. You never told me that.”

“Not exactly exciting news to share,” she says. “But I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, patting her on the knee. Dating has been tough for Amani the past couple years, so I’m sure she’s more upset than she’s leading on.

“That could work,” Skye says, sitting up. “Amani knows that Kyle’s gay. She can fake-date him without revealing the secret.” She turns to me. “And that way, Kyle and Michael can date in secret.”

“Huh,” Amani says, turning to Kyle. “Fake-dating a famous football player.”

Kyle blushes, and my stomach churns. This was a good idea earlier, but putting it into practice makes me uneasy. Though I don’t know why.

“See?” Skye says. “They have chemistry. I’d believe it if they were dating.”

My chest squeezes. “But that’s a big commitment, Amani. You’d have to date for almost a full year. And you couldn’t date anyone else.”

“But it really wouldn’t be dating,” she replies. “It would be so you could actually date him.”

“Yeah,” I mutter. “In private.”

“I think that will work,” Kyle says. “What do you think, Amani? ”

I scowl up at him, betrayed. It’s that easy for him just to find someone to cover me up? He doesn’t feel a little bit of shame about this whole thing?

“I think so, too,” she says. “I’m gay, but I don’t talk a lot about it online. So it’s not like I could sabotage it. And I’m not currently seeing anyone either.”

She looks up at me. “I think I’m gonna do this. Michael, you’ve been searching for something like this for a while. You deserve it.” She looks to Kyle. “And I’m doing this for you as a fellow gay. You deserve to love who you love.”

He blushes. “I appreciate it.”

But I just sit there, chewing on my lips, my arms tightly folded.

“You look like you wanna talk,” she says.

I sit back. “What’s there to say?”

She sighs and turns back to Kyle. “Is there a place he and I can talk in private?”

Kyle innocently gestures to the kitchen far behind him.

Amani claps the couch and stands up. “Come on,” she says, gesturing to me. “You got something on your mind, and we’re not agreeing to this until you share it. At least with me.”

I grumble, sitting up. “Fine.”

I stand up and follow her into the kitchen, a headache coming on.

She puts her hand on the granite countertop right next to Kyle’s giant stainless-steel refrigerator, one that could feed a family of five.

“You look like you wanna deck someone in the face,” she says. “Spit it out.”

I wipe my face, already exhausted from this whole conversation. “It’s not ideal, but it will have to do.”

“But how are you going to be comfortable with doing this if you have reservations that you’re not sharing?” she asks. “Like you said, we’d do this for nearly a year. That’s a long time to hold something in.”

I cross my arms tightly and lean against the fridge. “Why are you agreeing to this anyway? There’s not much you’re getting out of it.”

She scoffs. “Excuse me? I’m doing this for you out of the kindness in my heart. And for the poor closeted man in the next room over who has probably kept this secret his whole life.”

I press my forehead against the cool fridge .

She crosses her arms. “You and I both know what this is really about.”

I glance at her, my forehead still pressed to the metal. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“You’re jealous.”

I grimace and turn to her. “Jealous? Amani, you’re gay too. Why would I be jealous?”

“Not jealous that I would steal him,” she says. “But jealous he’d have someone else to share this burden with.”

I look away, the backs of my eyes burning.

“When you dated David, I know how much you wanted him to open up to you like he seemed to do with all his friends. To be vulnerable and mature about his feelings. He never did, and that broke your heart.”

A tear falls, but I wipe it away.

“But the truth is, he never really opened up to his friends. Because he couldn’t. And you were the one who chose to leave after that. That was your strength, just like your sponsor told you. He missed out on you and your maturity, not the other way around.”

I wipe my wet eyes, still looking away.

“I haven’t known Kyle for long—well, in-person, for long—but he seems different. He may have just come out, but he seems earnest. Like he wants this to work. I don’t think this will be a repeat of David.”

I wipe the fresh eyes from my tears and finally look at her. “Jeez, Ams. We gotta make you a therapist or something.”

She lets out a laugh. “A lot of this I learned from watching you grow after leaving David, so you’re the one talking. But I think you should give this a try, Michael. I think this could work. And I’m willing to help.”

I let out a deep sigh I was holding in and wrap my arms around Amani. She presses her cheek into my chest, and I rest my chin on her dreads.

“This is why the ‘L’ in ‘LGBT’ comes first,” I say.

She squeezes me and laughs, then pulls away.

“Thank you, Ams,” I say. “You’re right.”

She shrugs and smiles. “I know. ”

“Are you sure you’re okay with being off the market in a fake relationship?” I ask.

She shrugs. “I haven’t been lucky finding anyone in the past couple years, so what’s a few more months?”

I hear a light knock, and something catches her eye beyond me, and I turn around.

“Am I interrupting?” Kyle says, his lips pressed shyly together, making his beard a dark forest on his face.

“No,” Amani says, rubbing my arm. “We were just wrapping up.” She looks at me as if asking me if I want him to enter.

I nod.

“You two probably need to talk about this too,” she says, stepping away. “I’ll leave you to it.” And then she leaves me alone with Kyle in his kitchen.

He reaches up and strokes my red cheek. “You’ve been crying.”

“Yeah,” I say, wiping away the last of the tears. “Amani just knows what to say.”

He leans against the fridge. “What’s going on?” he asks, concerned. “How do you feel about all this?”

“I just have baggage from my ex,” I say, shaking my head. “Just worried that we’ll grow apart through this whole process. That you’ll be closer to Amani.”

“Well, she is gay, right?” he asks. “Sorry, I overheard.”

“Yeah.”

He puts his hands on my arms and rubs them slowly. “Then you’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m choosing this because I want you along with my career. You .”

He keeps rubbing me, and soon I find my head in his chest buried between his thick pecs. The smell of his lingering sex-sweat intoxicates me. “For someone who came out late in life, you are very affectionate.”

He chuckles, his chest shaking me with it, and I bury myself deeper.

“I think I get it from my mom,” he says. “Last night you promised me that I could trust you, and that goes both ways. I will be my best for you. As available as I can be. ”

My chest warms, feeling the truth in his words.

I look at him. He leans down and gives me a kiss, holding it there. He pulls away and looks into my eyes.

“Do you really want to do this?” he asks. “If not, we can figure out another way. I can look more into my decision—”

“You don’t need to give up football for me,” I say. “I want to do this.”

He smiles and kisses me on the forehead. “Good,” he says. “Me too.”

We make our way back into his living room, Amani and Skye chatting on the couch. Josue is looking at one of his bookshelves.

“You’ve got a killer selection, dude,” Josue says. “Didn’t think you’d be such a fantasy fan.”

“Thanks man,” Kyle says, smiling in that radiant way he does. “Might be the best genre.” He glances at me. “After romance.”

I laugh and teasingly push him. And that’s when I realize how happy I am. I’m surrounded by people who love and want to help me. And that’s making it easier to truly love myself.

“So what’ll it be boys?” Amani asks.

“Yeah,” Skye says. “Is this fake-dating a go?”

I look at Kyle, then at my friends. “I think so.”

“Great,” Amani says, rubbing her hands together. “Now let’s work out the nasty details.”