Page 32 of Catching Kyle (Football Heartthrobs #1)

“I’ll email you with some dates and times to come in for an interview,” she says. “After that, we’d be able to get you started quickly.”

I exhale, relaxing my shoulders. I didn’t realize how stressed being unemployed made me.

I had some savings to live off of, but that wasn’t going to last long.

Sure, I could rely on Kyle, but I want to provide for myself.

But now it seems like the universe has been looking out for me the whole time.

“Wonderful,” I say. We exchange contact information, and my heart is bright and happy. I can’t wait to share the good news with Kyle. I have a job!

I pull out my phone to text him that I’m on my way and that I have some very good news to share. But there’s a text from Amani on my screen.

“Hey,” it reads. “I don’t know if Kyle told you, but he met with a reporter who interviewed him about his football career. You might want to look at this.”

My stomach plumets, turning my excitement over my potential new job into flutters of fear. Kyle did not tell me about any such reporter .

I click on the link, and it leads me to an ESB article written by a Robyn Carter.

At the top is a picture of Kyle and Amani with their arms around each other.

My breath quickens, and I have to remember that this whole couple situation is fake—that in fact it was me who initially set up the idea.

But it still makes me uneasy to see Kyle with someone else.

Even if this someone else is my best friend pretending to be his girlfriend.

I step to a lonely corner of the bookstore and quickly read through the article.

She discusses her aim to interview longstanding Tigers players to paint a portrait of the time over time—to trace their journey to (hopefully) winning the Championship Game next year.

She brings up various facts about Kyle that I knew before I even knew him: his philanthropic efforts, where he went to school.

But toward the bottom is where it gets interesting.

She starts the paragraph about his upbringing with a caveat that not everything is as it seems, then goes into describing his home life. And my jaw drops.

Kyle’s father was… kind of a dick. She puts it nicely here, but I can pick up that he was a distant man, one who put his career over his family. It was only on his deathbed that he started reevaluating his priorities.

And this is where Kyle comes in, telling Robyn things I’ve never even known.

To win his father’s approval, he tried to be the best player he could be.

I mean, how else were you supposed to get the attention of a career-obsessed football coach?

And she’s a little less clear here, but I can tell that even this didn’t win him the full affection of his father.

It wasn’t until his deathbed when everything came to a head.

Before Coach Brian Weaver died, he asked his son to make him a promise: to carry on his legacy. And we all know what that means: posterity, children, grandchildren.

My heart picks up speed as I read on. Did Kyle finish the story by coming out to this reporter?

But when I read his response, my chest folds in on itself.

Kyle said that after all these years, he’s just been looking for the right one. And that person is Amani .

The rest of the article just talks about her thoughts on the subject and who she plans to interview next, but I don’t read any of that. I just think about how I was right: there was so much more about the promise to his father than I thought.

And Kyle told me none of it.

“Uh oh,” Skye says, approaching me.

“You got that look again.”

“I need to go see Kyle,” I say. “Right now.”

“What’s wrong?” she asks. “Is he okay?”

I show her the article on my phone.

“So he interviewed with a reporter,” she says. “What’s the big deal?”

“Read the bottom.”

She takes my phone and scrolls through it, and I wait for her to have the same level of anger that I do.

Except she doesn’t.

She hands back the phone, shaking her head. “There’s nothing of importance here,” she says. “You said he wanted to honor his father. This article explains why.”

“Nothing of importance?” I almost squawk out. “If Kyle trusted me, he would have told me this. I didn’t know any of this.”

“You’ve known him for, what, a little over two months? You’re still going to learn about him. I’m sure he wants to talk to you about this.”

I rub my tightened chest, grimacing at the pain. Her words make sense, but they fall flat.

“I’ve got to go,” she says. “Going out for some drinks with others. You can come if you want before you see Kyle.”

“I should go see Kyle right now,” I insist. We moved our writing group to another day of the week so we all had our Friday nights back.

She pats me on the elbow. “It’s going to be okay,” she says. “I can’t tell why this is bothering you, but you’ll figure it out. Relationships are hard, but you and I know they’re worth it. ”

I laugh a little, releasing some tension in my shoulders. “That’s why we write about it.”

“Exactly,” she says. “You’ll be fine. Text if you need anything. I’ll see you later.”

She saunters off with some of her new Omegaverse friends, her rhinestone cowboy hat reflecting the setting sun.

I pull out my phone and send a text to Kyle I’m on the way, and he quickly responds telling me he got us some dinner.

Which provides me some solace, though I don’t know why.

I want to understand why this whole situation makes me feel crummy, but I’m lost. Then I remember: there’s one person I can talk to that will demystify the whole situation.

I wish Kelley a good night and hurry to my car. Once I’m inside, I immediately dial my sponsor. And when she answers, I set off to Kyle’s, explaining the whole situation along the way.

“You’ve done this before,” she says when I answer.

“Oh?”

“You find someone you like—romantic or not—and things are good for a while. But then you become afraid they’ll abandon you.”

Her words strike like an arrow in my chest. “You’re right,” I say. “But I don’t know why.”

“Well, I think it makes sense,” she says matter-of-factly, but not unkindly. “Your parents were supposed to be there for you. But at most times, they weren’t. So you learned from a young age that the people who were supposed to love you were also the ones who abandon you.”

“But I don’t think Kyle will abandon me,” I say, driving on the highway. At this point, Kyle’s given me permission to talk about him and us to people I trust, like my sponsor. So Susan knows everything now. “He’s having me over tonight.”

“Are you sure about that?” she asks. “Look at your interactions. Is there any evidence that’s leading you to believe he will abandon you? ”

Her words make me go over my interactions with Kyle more thoroughly. And I get stuck on the fact that he told this reporter all these details about his life and not me.

“There is one thing,” I say. “The fact that he hasn’t shared with me his upbringing.”

She sighs. “I know how that can feel,” she says. “When our loved-one doesn’t tell us something important to them, it can feel like rejection.”

“And abandonment.”

“Exactly,” she says. “But it doesn’t have to be.”

“How?” I ask. “How do I make this stop hurting? I don’t want to be clingy or obsessive with Kyle like I was with David. I want to make this work.”

“That’s really up to you,” she says.

I resist a scoff. “ That answer.”

“Yes, that answer. You said that you wanted to date an emotionally available guy,” she says. “Is Kyle not immediately mentioning this to you a dealbreaker?”

I wince, thinking. “No,” I say. I pause for a beat. “But it is something I think I would like. I want to talk to him about it. I feel like details like these are important to share as a couple. Keeping them secret goes against what I think is healthy in a relationship.”

“There you go,” she says. “You can talk to Kyle about it. But hear what he has to say. You may come to a mutual understanding and a strategy that works for both of you. But just be kind when you talk to him. From what it sounds like, he’s not abandoning you.

Trust that, trust your feelings, and trust that he’s doing the best he can, too. ”

I sigh. It all feels clear now. “Thanks, Susan,” I say. “I think I know what to do.”

“Call back if you need to talk more,” I say.

“Thanks,” I say. “For this and for everything. I feel like I should pay you for this.”

I can hear her smiling through the phone. “Someone did it for me, so I’ll do it for you,” she says.

I laugh. “Alright,” I say. “Talk soon. ”

After I hang up, I still feel anxious to talk to Kyle. But there’s undertones of peace there.

I didn’t have great parents, and I haven’t had very many good experiences with love, either.

But that doesn’t mean I need to keep expecting the same abandonment over and over again.

I can break the curse of thinking those I love will leave me.

And tonight, I can start by talking to Kyle, sharing my feelings, and listening to what he has to say.