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ELI

My heart beat heavily with swollen pride.

If it weren’t for that feeling, I would have been a horrified mess, lying in a great heap of flesh and bones on the floor of Tartarus.

Horrid screams and cries surrounded me, echoing off the cold, dark space.

Each one sunk into me deeper than the last until it felt as though my internal organs themselves were the ones responsible for the bloodcurdling shrieks.

I was uncertain how long I had actually been here. It could have been hours or minutes. I was in too much pain to force my eyes open and face my fate.

The pain that had taken hold of me was not from the stab to the head that subsequently landed me here—don’t get me wrong; the blade that Cal’s father, Zef, crafted was unbelievably painful when it pierced flesh, bone, and brain, and still worse when the blade’s magic took possession of my powers and transferred them to Cal, but that wasn’t what caused the barrage of tears that heated my eyes, barricaded only by my quivering eyelids.

No, that wasn’t the pain I felt in this moment.

It wasn’t even the unfamiliar creases that etched her face as she hovered over mine, illustrating more terror and despair tha n

I would have ever thought her pretty face could possess. The panicked sound of her pleas served as our last goodbye before I heroically sacrificed myself.

I had always thought of myself as Cal’s personal hero and because of that, I couldn’t seem to let it go that I was unable to save her from my mother all those years ago.

Ever since I’d found out about the dark truth of what was really going on with my friend, who my mother had turned her into, I just couldn’t let go of the feeling that maybe, just maybe, the outcome—for everybody—could have been different had she let me help.

Perhaps Cal’s mother and sister wouldn’t be dead right now—perhaps I really could have saved us all.

I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat, remembering I’m huddled in a ball in the pits of Tartarus with my eyes still closed.

Even though I hadn’t really wanted to volunteer, I needed to help her and right the wrongs of my family.

She deserved a happily ever after, and as wild as it was, that was with Mendax, the Prince of the Unseelie realm.

Deep down, I knew there was no other person alive that would take care of her and keep her safe the way Mendax would.

They need each other. Ultimately, that’s why I volunteered to take the pendant of ashes bearing the last droplet of Artemi power and return it to her sister, Adrianna.

The eight-year-old sister that remains trapped in the dark and lurid crevice of Tartarus and can only be freed from its grip once her powers are restored and she is full Artemi, when she will ascend to Moirai. Yep, it was all up to me.

Even that wasn’t the pain that ripped through me currently.

My testicles had twisted during the fall and now were crumpled helplessly in what I was sure was some intricate type of a sailor’s knot.

I was in excruciating pain. Somehow my most sensitive area had gotten tied up like a balloon animal and, with it, taken all the blood that was meant for my brain.

The muffled ringing in my ears faded, replaced with shouts and growls—and honestly all kinds of ruckus that, well, I didn’t have the slightest hint at what it belonged to, because like a horrified toddler, I refused to open my eyes.

It’s cowardly, I know, but to be fair, I used up all my heroism on getting here and hopefully that counted for something.

The fact is, I was terrified of Tartarus—every Seelie was.

Who would look forward to eternal damnation and purgatory in a sunless shit-and- piss-filled layer of rock buried beneath the realms filled with monsters?

A place specifically designed to punish, destroy, and torture Seelie and be a playground for the heathen Unseelie?

Something hard knocked into my shoulder, causing me to curl farther into myself as I flinched away.

I could feel that I was pressing against a hard wall.

A chill from the crisp floor went over my shins and knees as they pulled tighter together.

The screams had stopped, but I could still feel the effects of them pulling at my spirit.

The sound was so heart-wrenching, I had to take a second to make certain it wasn’t coming from me.

It felt like it was inside of me. It was the most wretched sound I’ve ever heard.

Something inside told me to tune it out or it would seep further and further into my soul, until all I had left was a mere crumb of joy.

I shifted and curled into myself more. The siren’s call of horror was quiet, but with my new position the flare of pain increases.

Curling up this tight was not helping my knotted-up nuts.

The pendant—the one that Cal always wore, the one with her sister’s soul and power—thankfully remained tight in my palm.

I squeezed it to ground myself, telling myself that I couldn’t just sit here forever.

Even though I was now dead and would never get the chance to have children and a family, my unit was so crushed and twisted, I doubted I could have children now regardless.

Both fists pressed so hard against the sides of my head, covering my ears, I probably had a tiny FEUHN KAI GREEYTH dent on the side of my face from the pendant.

Thinking about my and Cal’s promise of eternal love and friendship made my body feel a little warmer in this cold and gritty, death-filled space. As stupid as it was, I knew she was still with me, and I was with her. Even if I was dead.

It was overwhelming how much I missed her already. My eyes hadn’t even opened since the last time I saw her and yet it had been too long. Sadness pulled at me.

I hoped more than anything that she lived.

Not just stayed alive. I hoped with every drop of hope that I’d ever been lucky enough to have, she got to live a life filled with happiness and love—like she hadn’t gotten up until now.

I wanted that for her more than anything, though in hindsight, dying for it may have been a bit extreme. In truth, it was a bit impulsive.

The muscles of my face twitched and I realized I was smiling, huddled in a ball, thinking about how I got to die Cal’s hero and how pissed Mendax must be now.

He had confessed to me that he wanted to be both her hero and her villain, and soon after, he had made a deal with the Fates and thought he would go to Tartarus while remaining bonded to her, able to feel and hear her but never see her.

But now she’s going to be thinking about me for the rest of her life as her knight in shining armor—ha!

It was going to drive him wild, and I loved little more than saving damsels in distress and making Mendax mad.

After I saved the child, I planned on finding a way out of here and to the Elysian Fields, the resting place of Seelie royals.

There was nothing keeping me here. I knew Cal was technically a Seelie royal now, not to mention a SunTamer (thanks to me) but I also knew Mendax and Kaohs had some sort of acquaintance, and I didn’t worry for a second about Mendax finding a way to get Cal to Tartarus with him.

He’d never go without her. Maybe doing Mendax a favor would come back favorably and Kaohs would let me return to Seelie?

Or at least the Elysian Fields, where I was supposed to go when I died.

My bravado was already returning. I moved my hand from my ear to wipe the stray moisture that had collected around my eyes when I heard it.

A faint whinny alongside the muffled growls and hisses of the beasts. They sound feral and evil and not that far away.

“Shit.” Reluctantly, I moved both hands fully from my ears and I put Cal’s—or I suppose, Adrianna’s—pendant around my neck as quickly as possible, sitting up with a heavy breath. More gargled hissing behind me—it was getting closer.

I was about to open my eyes and turn around when my twisted danglers sharply protested the movement with a rip of skin.

I didn’t know if you could die again once you were in Tartarus, but I had a niggling suspicion that I could still be put in enough pain that I wished I were.

Feeling pain without being able to die sounded about as bad as it could get.

I hurried to adjust myself so I could turn around and fight— except there was no easy way to untie the wiener dog balloon animal that my sack had become, so I pulled my trousers down a little bit, reached in, and set them free.

A yelp and then a sigh escaped me as relief flooded me. “Be free.” I patted them tenderly.

“Aurelius?”

I stilled, hands on my cock. I knew that voice. Why did I know that voice?

“What…what are you doing here?”

As my eyes flashed open, I spun in the direction of the voice, barely registering the sleek black wall and slate tile floor- ing before my gaze found a familiar pair of big, brown eyes. “Walter?”

It’s only then I see that I was not in a crusty cave filled with blood and shit but a gothic-style elegant room with rows upon rows of metal chairs that looked like they go on forever. My eyes couldn’t bring the last row into focus, as the chairs continued on far past what I could see.

Each chair was filled with a person staring wide-eyed at me. This was most definitely not what Tartarus should have looked like.

Someone in the sea of sitting fae stood up from their chair and with an absurdly grating voice called out, “Look he’s got his testicles in his grip right now! We know why he was sent here aye?! Lust!” The crowd of fae all cackled loudly.

The blood from my balloon penis finally returned to my head and I dropped my hands over my area with a gasp, my face as hot as the sun I once wielded.