Page 11

Chapter Six

Wade

The arguing registers before I open the door, and I’m not making that mistake again. What is up with everyone tonight? I squeeze Canyon’s shoulder. “Give me a minute, okay?”

His eyes widen, and he grabs my hand. “Don’t leave.”

Fuck. “Okay.” I clear my throat and say in a louder voice, “We’re coming in.” The arguing stops. Opening the door, I pull Canyon in with me. Jared and Ander are still glaring at each other. But I don’t have time to figure any of that out. Canyon is my main concern.

Jared catches sight of him and rushes over, all traces of anger gone from his face. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid,” he whispers, breaking my heart.

“It’s not stupid.” I turn to Jared. “He’s overwhelmed. It’s been a long day.”

Ander slips by Jared to stand beside Canyon.

I want to pull him safely away from my brother.

But Ander ignores my warning look. “Panic attack, right?” Ander asks, and Canyon nods.

“I’ve had a few of those. Not life-threatening but scary as hell.

” He says this part to me. Can he tell I was this close to calling 9-1-1?

Probably. My brother knows me better than most.

“It was—” Canyon covers his face. I clench my hands to keep from reaching for him.

Have I ever felt his protective of anyone?

The answer is standing next to him. Canyon smiles at Ander.

The red color in his cheeks that had faded a bit now flares again.

“It was a panic attack. But I think I should mention,” he says, eyes darting to me as he swallows, “I have a heart condition.”

“What?” My voice is louder than I want. Canyon flinches and Ander glares at me. I try to bring it down a level or two, but I’m so fucking pissed. “You didn’t mention that.”

“I should have, but…it’s safe. I know my limits. It’s just I can’t—” He chokes on his words and glances around as if he’s asking for something.

I have no idea what. But Ander gives him a sympathetic look. “Of course. I’m so sorry, Canyon.” My brother glances at me. “A panic attack feels like a heart attack.”

“Yes,” Canyon says, sounding relieved. “I thought I was dying.”

I smooth his hair back from his face. “But you’re okay?” I ignore the looks from my brother. Not dealing with that right now.

“Yeah.” He laughs. “Mortified. But okay.”

The urge to wrap my arms around him and protect him from everything and everyone is overwhelming. So I do what I do best. Take charge. “Canyon is staying here with us.” I don’t say tonight because I mean all week, and I don’t want him to argue with me.

“Cool,” Ander says with a smile. “You can bunk with me.”

“Okay…”

“No.” They all look at me, but I don’t back down. “I’m sorry I wasn’t clear. Canyon will be staying in my room. With me.”

“This is just like you—” Ander begins, but Jared touches his back, cutting off his words. Since when are they on the same page on anything?

“Wade, I know you’re worried about Canyon,” Jared says carefully. “But it’s his choice.”

I’m done with this conversation. “If Canyon wants to sleep somewhere else tomorrow, he can choose to do so. Tonight, I need to make sure he’s okay.

Do you understand, Canyon?” He nods, but his eyes are on the floor.

He sways, and I grab his arm. He’s exhausted.

I tip his chin. “There’s only one choice you need to make tonight, sweetheart.

” I ignore my brother’s gasp and focus on the man staring at me with trust in his green eyes.

I can’t tear my gaze away. My thumb brushes the stubble on his chin. “Top or bottom?”

His eyes widen with shock…and is that heat in his eyes? He blinks. “What?”

“Wade? Can I talk to you for a minute?” Jared asks in a hard voice.

“I need to get Canyon settled.”

Ander steps closer. “I’ll take him—Jesus, Wade—it’s like three feet away.”

Canyon gives me a look that’s supposed to be reassuring. It’s not. “I’ll be fine.”

I smile because none of this is his fault. Once he and my brother are in the other room, I turn to my best friend. “What?”

“Do you remember why we’re here?”

“I don’t have time for this, Jared.” I glance at the door to my room. Canyon will be fine with Ander, right? I don’t exactly trust my brother, but he seems genuinely concerned.

Jared steps in front of me, blocking my view. “Why are we here, Wade?”

I scrub a hand over my face. It’s been a long fucking day. “I get it, okay?”

“Do you? Because it looks to me like you’re about to make the same mistake again.”

Thumping and soft laughter come from the bedroom.

The walls are thin. And for some reason, that makes my face heat.

I focus on Jared and keep my voice low. “He’s my employee.

Temporarily. I’m not going to sleep with him.

I just want to—” Take care of him. Hold him.

Never let him go. But I stop because the feelings behind my thoughts surprise me. And I can’t say any of that to Jared.

“Remember Tim?”

“Fuck you, Jared.” The rage is swift and overwhelming. “This is nothing like that. Tim was a manipulative, scheming—” I can barely talk, but punching a wall will forfeit our deposit. And prove Jared right. I can control myself, dammit. “Canyon is hurting. I’m just trying to help him.”

“He’s vulnerable—” He holds out his hands. “Not that you would purposefully take advantage of him. But…you like him.”

I scoff. “I’ve known him for less than a day.”

“Just being honest here, so don’t shoot the messenger.” He pauses, moving his head slightly like he’s sifting through his words. If I yell at him to get on with it, I’ll just be proving his point. “I’ve never seen you like this. You don’t date?—”

“Not true.”

“An actual date with someone you care about doesn’t require an NDA.”

“That’s not what you told Ander.”

“Fucking his way through the National Hockey League is not dating.” Jared spits the words out, sounding nothing like my happy-go-lucky best friend.

My brows raise at this. Ander has dated two hockey players. And they were happy to keep it quiet since they weren’t out. Jared still insisted on NDAs.

God, how did our lives get so fucked up? But I know the answer. A distracted driver. That’s where it started, at least.

The fight is clear on his face. Occupational hazard. He hates losing an argument. “All I’m saying is please be careful. This retreat is to show how diverse and inclusive our company is. And to unify us as a team after everything with Tim. Sleeping with another employee?—”

I slap my hand over his mouth. “What the fuck?” I say in a low voice.

“And that wasn’t—Tim—” I snap my mouth shut.

I can’t defend my actions, and we both know it.

“Fine, I’ll be careful. Now, can we please be done with this conversation?

Unless you want to discuss what’s going on between you and my brother? ”

“I think we’re good,” he says and then laughs. “Go back to your patient. But no playing doctor. Got it?” This man has helped me through some of the worst moments in my life. We’ve been best friends since high school.

I nod. “Got it.”

Ander and Canyon are sitting on the bottom bunk talking when I enter the room. They both look up. Canyon’s hair is wet like he just showered. He’s not as pale as he was, and the tightness in my chest loosens.

“Thank you, Ander,” I say with a nod. His lips twitch.

“I didn’t do this for you—but you’re welcome. Goodnight, Canyon. I’m just in the other room if you need me.”

“He won’t.”

He smiles for real this time. “Never change, bro. Goodnight.”

As he walks by me, I say, “Goodnight, bro. Have fun with Jared.” He rolls his eyes, but I swear I see a moment of panic. Which makes me pause. I like teasing them, but I don’t actually think anything is going on with them. Not when Jared constantly harps on the no-interoffice-relationships rule.

After he’s gone, I take his spot next to Canyon. “Hey.”

“Hey.” His smile is shy.

“Are you doing okay?”

He nods. “Um, Wade?” He licks his lips. “About your question earlier. I’m not sure. I’ve never…” He waves his hand.

It takes me a minute. When his meaning registers, my body heats, and I choke on my tongue. Clearing my throat, I say, “Top or bottom bunk .”

Red streaks across Canyon’s cheeks and he covers his face with his hands. “Oh my God. I’m so out of it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” I pull his hands down. “You’re fine.”

He nods. But then he starts rambling. “Pfft. I can’t believe I thought—it’s not like you’d ask that with everyone there. Or like you’d be interested in me. That’s not possible. Not in the realm of possibilities. It’s banana pants.”

I hate hearing him say these things about himself. That’s my only defense. “Why wouldn’t I be interested, Canyon? You’re sweet. And fun. And”—I swallow the lump in my throat—“beautiful. So beautiful.” I clasp my hands together to keep from reaching for him. This is why Jared gave me “the talk.”

“But you’re…you. And you’re…” He waves his hand.

“I’m what?”

He lets out a nervous-sounding laugh. “Straight.”

This is stupid. Monumentally so. Jared-stringing-me-up-by-my-balls stupid. But the insecurity in his eyes—I can’t stop myself. “That’s the official version. But it’s not…factual.”

“Oh?” His brows scrunch together and then smooth out. “Oh.”

I cup his cheek, and he leans into my touch. Fuck. I’m so screwed. “Contrary to your beliefs, I am interested. But tonight, you need your rest. Top or bottom bunk ?”

“Which one do you want?”

“Canyon—”

“Which one?” He sounds clearer. Almost back to normal. Thank fuck .

“The bottom bunk.”

He nods. “Okay. I want the bottom bunk too.”

I lean back. Is he joking, or is this a trick? “Fine, I’ll take the top.”

“No.” He grabs my face this time. “I want to sleep with you.”

I try to shake my head, but he holds me tight. He’s stronger than he looks. I cover his hands with mine. “I just told you?—”

“I’m not talking about sex—not tonight.” The promise in his eyes takes my breath away. “I want your arms around me. I want to feel safe.”

And that’s the right button to push. Engaging my protective instincts.

I can’t turn him down. I take a quick shower, jerking off as quietly as possible to thoughts of Canyon and his mouth because I’m hard as fuck, and it’ll make it easier to sleep beside him.

I push back the shame. Hopefully, he’ll be asleep by the time I’m done.

But he isn’t. I join him on the bottom bunk, slipping behind him. I resist the urge to pull him tight against me.

His voice is so soft I almost don’t hear his words. “I’m sorry I caused a scene.”

I kiss his cheek and stay close to him for a minute too long. “You didn’t. Go to sleep now, Can. It’s been a long day.”

He nods.

My body complains, but I know I’m making the right choice. I also ignore the urge to pull him against me and keep him safe.

Canyon snuggles into this pillow. “Goodnight, Wade.”

“Goodnight, Canyon.” It doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep. I watch him for a few minutes. It’s more about his safety than being a creep. What if he has a nightmare? Or another panic attack?

I finally fall asleep thinking about Canyon and what it would be like to kiss him.