Page 94 of Cakes for the Grump

“No. Yes. No. Wait, you are confusing me! The fact remains, Luke and I aren’t actually together. We can’t be.”

Noor tilts her head to the side. “Why can’t you be?”

“He’s power. Upper class. One percent. Rolling around in so much money I can’t think about it or my head hurts.”

“So, you’ve got nothing in common with each other?”

“Not nothing.” I frown, putting the phone down and splashing water on my face. “We’re able to hold a conversation. And laugh. And his life isn’t perfect either, which I relate to.”

My mind goes to last night. In that bed together, it felt like his troubled soul was talking to mine. He trusted me with his pain, and the staggering thing was that I wanted to trust him with mine. There is so much I didn’t say. I want to hold his face and tell him that I understand. How we’ve both had loads of practice pretending to be someone else. I know howexhaustingit is to put a mask on, and I hate that his had to stay on for years. That I’m going to help him not only because we’re using each other professionally, but because I want to be there when he can finally let go. When all his hard workand sacrifice and struggle pay off in one master stroke, I want to cheer him on.

“Despite anything else, our lifestyle fundamentals are different,” I summarize for Noor. “We are at different phases in our life. He’s established. I am not. Plus, let’s not forget, he’s my boss.”

“I’ve always thought it matters more where two people are heading, and if they can walk that path together.”

My hands grip the edge of the counter. “Can I please have some practical advice? How do I keep my heart and body and mind occupied when pretending to be a fiancée?”

“Imagine him ugly.”

“Impossible.”

“True. I’ve looked him up. Face like a fallen angel. Body like a warrior. Eyes like sin.”

“He wears these perfectly fitted suits. It’s been injurious to my health.”

She breathes out a plume of smoke. “I can only imagine the hardship you’ve been put through. Sympathies.”

I put my hair up in a bun, then start fussing with it. Has Luke ever seen me with it down properly? I release the bun. “This isn’t helping.”

“Okay. Let me say this. If you think he finds himself in the same compromised feelings position as you, then joke about it together. In my experience, if you suppress something, it grows. But if you acknowledge and poke at it together, it might cool down.”

While fluffing out my face-framing bangs, I smile. “That’s…actually not a bad idea.” Feeling as ready as I can be, I pick up my phone again and bring it closer to my face. “Thanks.”

“For the record, you’ve got it backwards,” she says. “He’s the one who would be lucky to be with you. You, my best friend, are the most resilient and generous soul that I know. You’ve got balls, woman. To push through the hardest of circumstances and keep at your dream. Not only that, but you make yourself laugh through setbacks. I don’t think it’s healthy, but you’re the kind of human who wants people around her never to worry, so you hoard all your burdens and smile. You are sweet, incredible, lovely and also really, really hot.” She stubs out her cigarette. He would be so lucky to have you.”

“Noor…you’ve made me feel bad for saying you’re not supportive.”

Her grin is vicious. “Good. Suck on that, Kiren.”

“She can’t hear you, you know.”

“I bet her eye is twitching.”

My phone buzzes.

“What is it?” she asks. “You’ve got a goofy look on your face.”

“It’s a message from Luke. He’s telling me to be ready, and that he’s going to pick me up at seven. I guess we’re practicing tonight.”

“Bah,” she exclaims. “Sex that man up! Reach down into those sweatpants and pull out the snake!”

“OMG.Stop. I’m hanging up.”

The last thing I hear is her cackle.

TWENTY-FIVE

7:00 p.m. rolls around,and I find myself darting between my clothes (finally sorted into a closet rather than my suitcase) and the full-length mirror in the bathroom. And if I spent the majority of the last twenty minutes fussing with some eyeliner, it’s because finding the right balance between sultry and a raccoon bereft of sleep is a tricky needle to thread. Plus, these damn eyeliner flicks. They are dastardly hard to get even. Even now, I think they resemble my slightly different sized breasts.Cousins, not twins. Hopefully first removed.