Page 109 of Cakes for the Grump

Theo’s mouth turns up, and he looks at me like I’m missing something important. “If you ask him to, he will. And don’t worry, I’ll throw the party at the penthouse, so you both are already home. It will be low key. Promise.”

TWENTY-EIGHT

It was not low key.

To start with, Sistine drags me away from the kitchen some time before the party starts. She tells me it’s horribly dedicated how many hours I’ve been brainstorming various meal kit recipes (the whiteboard is jammed with notes) and that I need to take the night off, otherwise my brain will melt.

She’s not entirely wrong. I’ve been at it so long today, my eyes feel criss-crossed. Taking advantage of my exhaustion, she drags me into her room and helps me get ready for the evening.

Resistance is futile, and the next two hours are spent on hair, makeup and Sistine lacing me up into a white, cottage-y maxi dress. The cap sleeves are sheer and fall off the lines of my shoulder, and the material around my breasts is delicately bunched. Looking at myself in the mirror, there is no way I could have put it on myself, considering how many subtle straps she’s had to tighten. I look innocently pastoral on the front, and like a cinched, sexy, Victorian duchess from the back.

It’s stunning—and too much.

“No, it’s not,” says Theo, when I remark as much. He confesses the casual party he’s throwing is actually black-tie.

Of course, it is.

We enter the living room and I gasp. He’s pushed the sofas to the sides,and decorated the space with an explosion of streamers, confetti, and heart-shaped balloons. Where the television used to be is a wall-sized projection screen.

“Is there going to be a presentation?” I ask Theo.

He clicks a button on a remote and the screen comes to life.

Noor and Kiren. They are on the screen, and also dressed fancily. Something akin to a shriek comes out when we see each other. I knew Theo was going to include my best friends at this party somehow, but I didn’t know he would make it happen this way. Blown up to this size, it feels as if they are really here!

He slings his arm around my shoulder. “Noor. Kiren. Condolences. I’ve stolen Rita, and jumped up to the number one best friend spot.”

Noor glares at him. “Don’t rile us up when we can’t be there in person to push you around.”

Kiren scoffs, clearly unbothered. “Nothing can replace growing up with someone. We havememories.”

“Art class,” Noor says. “Ninth grade. The teacher wants us to draw a still life of a farm with barn animals. Rita points to the rooster?—”

“And says that’s a pretty large cock,” finishes Kiren. “Best friends ever since.”

“How illuminating,” says Luke, stepping into the living room. He raises an eyebrow at me and I gulp. I’ve seen Luke in many gorgeous suits, but what he chose today is particularly glamorous. He wears a fitted tuxedo suit with a black bow tie, an expensive watch gleams at his wrist, and a small diamond stud marks his ear.

“Who likes a big cock?” asks Sistine, joining the party, dragging a bored-looking Adam behind her.

“Rita does,” says Theo.

“I can see that,” says Sistine.

“You do know she’s with your brother, right?” points out Noor.

Sistine looks stricken.

Theo snorts out a laugh. “I’ll give you points for that,” he says, talking to my friends. “But I should get some credit for throwing our favorite couple an engagement celebration party.”

Luke stares at Theo. “You said this party was about your book coming out, and how you needed a distraction since it’s been bombing with the critics.”

“And you believed me? I’m offended. How can a book on the love between a rugged pufferfish and a coquettish sea anemone ever fail? I’m a huge hit, as always.” He slumps over the arm of the couch. “My very own best friend doesn’t have faith in my writing. This is why I’ve had to move onto Rita as his replacement.”

“I now understand your tragic circumstances,” observes Kiren.

“You have my deepest sympathies,” says Noor. “But also I want a link to this book, so I can buy it immediately.”

“He’s not all terrible,” says Sistine. “Like when he’s not working. A fraction of a second here and there.”