Page 28 of Cakes for the Grump

We both know I’m referring to the moisturizer. There is no need to elaborate or communicate further on any other topic after this pleasantry is exchanged. I expect us to enjoy our tea privately, despite sitting together.

“So, Rita,” says Luke.

“…Yes?”

“How long have you been a meal prep chef?”

“Excuse me?”

“How long have you been working in the capacity of a meal-prep chef?”

“Why are you asking?”

He appears to force a shrug. “Routine conversation. Small talk. Because why not?”

A lightbulb goes off.

Oh my.

Suddenly I feel transported to a mediocre first date where I’ve only committed to a coffee shop, and there is no eating of dinner to distract me from these awkward Stage One questions of familiarity.

Luke, for his part, stares me down, his darkening eyes practically screaming at me,yes, we are doing this; let’s get on with it.

My response: “Three years.”

His follow-up question: “How did you know that’s what you wanted to do?”

There’s nothing about my real answer I can condense into a few words. The truth is complicated and parts of it make me sad, and other parts of it wounds my heart.

Good thing I don’t have to get into it, actually.

My response: “It’s fun.”

Luke’s thumb bangs a pattern on the table. He looks unconvinced about my commitment to this process, but also like he is laboring through it himself.

“How is Mumbai?” is the next foray into Get To Know Me Land.

My response:“Mostly hot.”

“How illuminating. Any other details or memories you wish to add?”

I tap my chin, thinking deeply about it. “Hmmm,” I say, stretching the syllables. “I guess I could say…that…there was also this one time…it was…”

Another pause.

He leans forward.

“…humid.”

I smile into my tea, not needing visual confirmation of Luke’s ballooned irritation. The subsequent scratching noises coming off his pen as he aggressively completes his morning puzzle is evidence enough.

Annoying my boss is a decidedly delightful way to start the day. It must come with positive health benefits. Why haven’t I pursued this rejuvenating avenue before?

As I watch him shuffle through more reports on his tablet, another idea strikes me. It makes me want to cackle. How hilarious. He believes this to start and finish on his terms. “When did you become CEO?” I ask with an innocent, casual tone.

His eyes snap up at her, flashing silver.

Why, yes. If you try to open the door to me, I’ll do the same to you.