Page 9 of Broken Skulls (Rebel Skull MC #7)

Chapter Eight

Lizzie

“ D o you want out?”

“I don’t know.”

But I do know.

He should too, because he had a ringside seat to how much I wanted out of this dimension.

“Well, are you ready to face the world again?”

“No.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

I hear him shuffle on the other side of the wall. Is he leaving?

“Wait!” I bite my lip while arguing with myself in my head, but I need to know if this person is someone connected to Dr. Williams. “Who are you?”

“You might not remember me, but …”

My heart stops the minute I hear the slight tremble in his voice. He’s nervous to speak to me. Just like that day in the nursing home when he told me about the girl who gave me the necklace. The day I finally broke.

“JD?”

“Ah, so you do remember.”

I roll to my knees, placing my hand against the wood on his side. “Why have you brought me here?”

“You want the truth?”

“Yes.”

“I’m a collector of broken things that nobody else wants.”

I pull my hand from the wood to my chest as if I’ve been burned. My heart beats loudly in my ears.

He’s crazy.

“You wanted the truth,” he says.

“But …”

“But what?”

“You must not know everything about me.”

“I know what’s on paper.”

He knew, and he still wanted me?

I jump to my feet. A bright spark goes off in my mind. It’s just like the music … I’d forgotten what it was like to live … to feel. To be wanted. I’ve felt nothing for so long, I can’t quite pinpoint what this feeling is, but it’s nice.

I don’t deserve nice.

Because I did do the things everyone accused me of.

For her.

I’m not sure if that makes it right, but I’d sacrifice anything for her. Protecting my daughter was the most important thing I’ve ever done. It was so obvious to me what I needed to do. And I did it.

My only regret in life was that I should have killed Dr. Williams sooner, then I wouldn’t have had to lie. I guess I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell anyone the truth.

And maybe I haven’t done everything right, because all I ever thought about was my baby girl.

“Why don’t you tell me what the reports don’t say?” JD asks, interrupting my racing thoughts.

“What?”

“Tell me what happened.”

“You already know.”

“Again, I know what’s on paper. It’s everyone else’s perception. You never made a statement. Not once.”

“No one asked.”

The stabbing pain in my chest makes me realize how much I haven’t let myself feel. Why didn’t anyone ask? But I know why. It’s because it was all there in black and white. Those few messages between Dr. Williams and me. The texts that only painted part of the picture. The ones that made me look like a monster.

Everyone has two assumptions about me, both leading to the same conclusion. One, that I was born evil. Two, that Dr. Williams made me evil. Number one evoking pure hatred of me, the other bringing what I like to call pity revulsion.

I get it, though. I hate it too. I hated the things he did. Him. I hated him.

“I’m asking.” JD’s calm voice entices me to confess.

The words are clawing at my insides. What would it be like to tell someone?

She’s safe.

But fear holds me back from telling him what really happened. So, I confess my most recent crime instead. “I killed a man, you know?”

He laughs. “We have something in common then.”

We’re both quiet.

“Are you scared of me now?” he asks.

For some reason this makes me laugh.

I laughed.

No.

Stop.

“Please stop,” I mumble from behind my hands. This isn’t happening.

“Stop what? Making you laugh?”

I sit back against the wall, staring into the nothingness. “I’m not scared you’re going to kill me, JD. I’m scared that you’re not.”

“It’s okay to not want to live right now.”

“What if I never want to live?”

“I have a friend who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge,” he says, not answering my question.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter quietly, wondering if that is why he brought me here. He couldn’t save her, so he saved me.

“No need to be. She didn’t die. She lived through it. She said she regretted doing it the minute she let go.”

He didn’t even give me a chance to regret it. “I have nothing to stay for. Literally nothing, JD. I don’t have a life, and I haven’t for a long time. And that’s okay. Just let me go.”

“Close the door. I’ll be right back,” he says.

I slide the door closed, wondering if maybe he’s going to get the key to let me out. A few minutes later, I hear him leave something in the box for me.

“Put it on.”

My heart beats wildly when I open the door and feel what it is. It’s a blindfold.

“Trust me.”

“I don’t trust anyone. Not even myself.”

“Okay then, do it because I’m telling you to. You don’t have to trust me.”

I’ve never talked to anyone like him. He’s a bit strange.

“Fine.” I don’t know why I’m doing this.

“Is it on?”

“Yeah, it’s …”

When the door creaks open, I scramble back against the wall. Fear pulses through my veins now that there is no barrier separating us.

Why does he keep doing this to me? I don’t want to feel anything!

He kneels in front of me. I can’t see him of course, but I feel him. Oh, do I feel him … smell him. A craving for his touch begins to stir in my soul.

No!

He feeds it by placing his palm against the side of my face, giving me a dopamine hit like I’ve never experienced.

“What are you doing?” I rasp, struggling to control my breathing.

“I’m going to show you something.”

He places shoes on my feet as my mind races. This is my chance!

As he leads me out of the room and up the stairs, I begin counting. I note every twist and turn he makes. Soon enough, I feel the wind on my face. Gravel crunches beneath my feet, but I don’t hear any cars or anything. It must be daytime though, because the sun is warm on my face.

“Hold still,” he says before placing a helmet on my head. “We’re going for a little ride on the bike.”

“I’ve never ridden,” I tell him, tugging away as he tries to help me on behind him.

He gives my arm one good jerk, sending me flying against his hard body. My hands fly up to his chest. “If that’s true, you’re in for quite the treat. Get on.”

My stomach clenches painfully with a need I’m trying desperately to suppress. I have to get away from this man. He’s awakening something inside of me that I’d rather remain dormant.

Once I’m firmly settled behind him, he starts the engine.

Oh my god.

“There. Now that’s not so bad, is it?” he asks, grabbing my hands and pulling my arms around him. “Hold on tight.”

And I do.

My fingers automatically grip his t-shirt, and I plaster myself against his back as he pulls forward. When his speed evens out, I wonder if we’re on a highway.

The smell of the outdoors suddenly strikes me. Pine. The smell is so intense. And the wind. I lift my head. This man is brutal in his torture. Not for kidnapping me, but for shoving me face-first into my senses. Something I’ve tried desperately to suppress.

He pats my leg. “Relax. Enjoy the ride.”

Enjoy.

He wants me to enjoy something. No one has wanted me to enjoy anything for a very long time.

It can’t hurt. I mean, I could allow myself this one last little glimpse of feeling what it is to be alive.

A goodbye of sorts.

His hand remains on my leg. The rhythmic way his fingers brush back and forth over the seam on my jeans lulls me into relaxing in the seat. There’s really nothing I can do about the situation I find myself in anyway. JD is in charge.

You must be crazy! This man kidnapped you.

“Shut up,” I tell myself.

I meld with JD as he takes a curve, leaning with him as if we’re all three one. The bike, him … me.

I’m almost sad when the bike slows down, coming to a stop. He slides off and then helps me to do the same.

I sway on my feet, adjusting to the ground firmly beneath me. He pulls my back against his chest, wrapping his arms around me. “Keep your eyes closed.”

His beard brushes against the side of my cheek as he speaks.

The minute he removes the blindfold, I cover my eyes, even though they’re closed. It’s so bright, the sun is blinding me behind my eyelids.

“Shit,” I complain, tears pooling at the corners of my eyes.

“Take it slow. We’re in no hurry.”

Slowly, I blink my eyes open. Once they adjust to the light, I gasp.

It’s so beautiful. Everything. The trees, the flowers, the sky. I’m sure it’s never been this blue.

JD continues to hold me as my gaze bounces over the horizon. It’s like I’m seeing everything for the first time. It’s so colorful.

“For me, this view alone is worth living for,” he says in my ear.

“It’s enough for you?”

He sighs. “For right now it is, and now is all that exists. So yeah.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“If it’s not enough for you, that’s okay,” he assures me.

Again, he doesn’t try to change the way I feel. He’s not telling me it’s wrong. He’s letting me know it’s okay. I’m okay.

Slowly, I turn in his arms, tilting my head back to look up at him. He’s tall with dirty blond hair and incredibly deep blue eyes. They’re soulful and kind … and maybe a bit playful. The wind blows his hair over them as he stares at me.

I try to pull away from him, but he doesn’t budge.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

My brows pull together in a scowl. “I don’t know. Away.”

He laughs, revealing almost perfect teeth. There’s only one front tooth with a flaw, a small chip at the corner.

I drop my gaze, focusing on his dusty black boots. “I want to go back to the dark.”

“Do you really?”

“I do.”

“You going to hide there forever?”

“If you’ll let me.”

He sighs, shaking me lightly between his arms. “Look at me.”

When I raise my eyes to him, he stares at me, to the point I become uncomfortable and look away ashamed. He looked at me so intently I’m sure he saw my soul.

“I’ll take you back, and we’ll try again tomorrow.”

“It’s not going to work, you know? You can’t fix me.”

He spins me around to face the horizon. “I’m not trying to fix you. Now shut up and look at the beauty before you.”

He’s not lying. Everything is truly beautiful here. Wherever here is. Maybe that’s part of the beauty. I don’t know where I’m at. No one knows where I’m at … and no one cares.

He cared.

The wind picks up, whipping my long hair in my face. JD gently gathers it in his hand, carefully wrapping it around his fist. It’s a small act of kindness, something I haven’t felt in a long time.

A deep breath fills my lungs, and I allow myself a moment to relax against him.

He’s quiet as he lets me take everything in. I think I missed the wind the most. The wind is a reminder that just because you can’t see something, it doesn’t mean it can’t exist. I swallow hard, pulling away from him.

“I’m ready to go.”

He doesn’t argue. He simply nods and helps me back on his bike. Except this time, he doesn’t blindfold me.