Page 18 of Broken Skulls (Rebel Skull MC #7)

Chapter Seventeen

Elizabeth

I stare up at the trees. The branches blow in tandem above me, each allowing space for the other to sway. If only people worked together so effortlessly.

An old dog waddles over and plops down in the grass beside me, laying his head on my stomach. He looks tired, but his eyes are clear. I run my fingers down his floppy ears, and he sighs loudly before letting his eyes fall closed.

When I got here, Willow asked me if I was hungry, tired, or if I wanted to talk. When I said no to all of those things, she took me outside. I thought it was a little weird at first, but she made me hug a tree. Then she walked away, leaving me to it.

Maybe she’s on to something, because holding on to that huge tree so deeply rooted in the ground changed me. I felt connected to the earth. A gust of wind whispered through the branches, sending dry leaves swirling all around me. It was as if nature had been waiting for me to notice it again. I lowered myself to the ground, spreading my arms and legs wide.

My gaze catches on the big dragonfly painted on the barn. Guilt bubbles to the surface as I remember the look on Lily’s face when I told her about the necklace.

I don’t understand it really. The dragonfly, that is. What it means to her… to all of them. Or how it suddenly showed up in my life. First outside my window in the flower garden at the nursing home, then on the necklace Kelsie gave me. The most emotional appearance was my daughter’s painting.

And now this.

I swallow hard, pinching my eyes closed tight to keep my emotions in check.

The sun breaks from between the trees, warming my face as my mind wanders to the place where Jacob took me the first time he let me out of the basement. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Well, other than my daughter. After being in the dark for so long, it was … different. It was as if I was seeing the world for the first time. The colors. Oh man, the colors were brilliant.

The dog sighs against my leg. I sigh, too.

It’s strange the contentedness I feel right now, even though I was just pulled from the safety of Jacob’s room.

There were so many people at his house this morning. That’s another thing that’s strange. Why were they all there?

The breeze teases the hair around my face, and it feels so good I could cry.

The nursing staff at the home never took me outside, and no one in my family ever came to check on me, so there I sat. In the filtered, dry air.

I take a deep breath, keeping my eyes closed. It smells like … life.

My fingers continue to run over the soft fur of the old dog that is still using my stomach as his pillow. I don’t mind. It’s nice even. A living thing that doesn’t know who I am, and even if he did, he wouldn’t understand the complexities of what I’ve had to do in this life. He doesn’t know the world hates me. All he knows is that I’m warm and soft.

Soft …

I used to be soft on the inside too, but everything there has been calcified.

The dog picks up his head abruptly, and I open my eyes to see his floppy ears perk up. He sniffs the air. That’s when I hear the unmistakable rumble of a Harley, or two, rolling down the road.

His head falls back to my stomach. It eases my anxiousness a little. Dogs are the best judge of character. I had a dog once …

He died because of me. I squeeze my eyes closed again, ordering my mind to focus on something besides the evil man from my past.

The dog doesn’t even flinch when someone lies next to us. I don’t have to open my eyes to see who it is. His scent is permanently imprinted on my brain.

His fingertips brush over my forehead. “What are you thinking about?”

Everything with Jacob is different. I don’t know if it’s him though, or if it’s me. His scent, his touch, even his voice makes me internally confused. It’s like every cell in my body is jumbled. I imagine it’s the same when we’re born. The overwhelmingness of all your senses suddenly being activated.

I blink at him slowly, his face coming into focus. He’s propped on an elbow beside me.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

He laughs, bopping me on the end of my nose with his finger. “I’m fine. Now, what were you thinking about?”

“I was thinking about Simba.”

“The little lion on The Lion King?”

I laugh. “No, but that’s where I got his name. I love that movie.”

Jacob lays his hand on my chest. “Ah, so a dog?”

“Yeah,” I sigh sadly. “He was a golden retriever.”

My eyes fall closed, picturing him in my mind’s eye. “When Danielle left for California, he was my only friend,” my voice cracks.

Jacob waits patiently for me while I struggle to compose myself.

“One day, I decided to ignore Mr. Baxter’s request to go to his home. He … he showed up at my house. I didn’t answer the door, but my dog was outside.”

I can’t say it.

“Tell me what happened, Elizabeth.”

I roll my head from side to side. “I should have just gone to his house. I should have answered the door.”

“Hey.” Jacob leans down and presses his lips to my forehead. “Whatever happened, it was not your fault.”

He rubs his hand over my chest until I’m calm again.

“My parents got home later that evening and found he had been run over. He was lying at the end of the driveway.”

Jacob wipes my tears away with his hands.

“I knew it was him as soon as they told me,” I whisper. “I never denied his requests after that day.”

We sit quietly for a long time, and then my gaze goes back to the dog who is still using me as his pillow. “He’s used to the sound of the bikes,” I say, running my hand over his soft fur.

Jacob leans over and rubs the dog’s head. The sweet thing huffs happily but doesn’t open his eyes.

“He trusts you,” I say quietly, looking away from the two of them.

“Do you?”

This question is harder to answer than you might think. I haven’t trusted anyone other than myself for a long time. Not because there weren’t trustworthy people in my life. Danielle, Tank. I’m sure there were others. In my head I knew I could trust them, yet I couldn’t risk it. No matter how much I wanted to. For her … it was all worth it for her.

Jacob hovers over my face. “It’s okay if you don’t.” He smiles down at me. “You will eventually,” he adds with confidence.

Something tugs at my cheeks. It feels familiar yet strange as I mirror his expression.

“You’re smiling,” he rasps.

The emotion that pools in the corner of his eyes turns them the most beautiful blue I’ve ever seen. It takes my breath away.

Before I can wipe the smile from my face, he drops close to me. So close that his nose brushes against mine, our breath mingling.

“Don’t stop,” he whispers as his chest presses against mine, stealing the air from my lungs.

I panic as tears threaten to wash my smile away. “I don’t know how to hold onto it.” I blink rapidly, pissed at myself for not being able to do it for him.

The smile slowly falls from my lips.

Jacob’s gaze lazily runs over my face. “I’ll bring it back, don’t you worry.” His breath teases at my lips. “I’m going to give you so many things to smile about,” his gravelly voice skips down my spine, vibrating to my core.

The moment his lips touch mine, my eyes fall closed and I let go, allowing him to see a piece of me through the tiny crack he managed to find. It’s not much, but it’s the first glimpse I’ve given to anyone in a long time. It’s scary. I begin to panic, and he senses it. He presses his mouth harder against mine.

The way he kisses me is sure and confident. It makes me trust him a little more. I let my lips fall apart. His hand wraps around my chin in response and he tips my head back, deepening the kiss. His tongue slides against mine, and I wonder briefly if I actually did die on that cliff, and somehow, miraculously, ended up in heaven.

Something inside of me slowly unfurls, stretching.

My hands fly to his scruffy cheeks, and I pull him close. I’m desperate for more. Like a vampire who’s been bone dry for a hundred years, and one drop of blood awakens his hunger.

I want to unburden myself on him in every way. Tears run over the apple of my cheeks, and into our mouths. Either he doesn’t notice, or he doesn’t care. His desperation matches my own. We sit up, our mouths still glued together. The dog huffs unhappily as his head falls off my stomach.

Jacob pulls me onto his lap, wrapping one arm around my waist. His other hand lands on the back of my head, holding me still as his mouth abandons mine to explore the curve of my throat. It eventually returns, and he nips at my bottom lip.

I finally open my eyes to find him staring at me. The crack he’s discovered crumbles, leaving me wide open. The vulnerability of being fully seen makes me gasp out loud.

His pupils dilate. There’s no mistake, he knows what’s happening.

He knows I have nowhere to hide from him.

No, no, no, no . I’ve worked so hard to fortify myself against the world. Again, I begin to panic.

He stands abruptly with me still in his arms. His mouth presses against mine briefly in a peck before he walks us into the trees.

I’m not sure why, but the panic I was feeling slowly begins to recede the farther we retreat into the woods. He slows his step, looking around. When he spots a tree with large branches, he sets me on my feet.

“Come on,” he says, waving for me to follow him. He has a big grin on his face.

It makes my shoulders drop in relief. He’s not upset with me.

I follow him over to the tree. He clasps his fingers together, making a step for me to climb up.

“I … I couldn’t.” I back away from him.

He chuckles. “But you want to.” He wags his eyebrows in my direction.

My cheeks tighten, and I purse my lips together, hoping to stop myself from smiling. He’s making it almost impossible. I want to be mad about it, but I’m finding that’s also something that’s getting harder and harder to do.

“Fine,” I sigh, stepping toward him and placing my foot in his hands.

Jacob gives me a little push as he lifts me up onto the branch. I grab hold, turning myself to straddle it. I let out an embarrassing little squeak. It’s higher than I thought.

He jumps, easily pulling himself up beside me.

“You didn’t tell me you were a tree ninja,” I say unsteadily as I struggle to get my bearings.

He scoots close, only stopping when our knees touch. His big hand presses against my chest. “Breathe,” he reminds me gently.

I lock eyes with him and take a deep breath. After a few inhales, I begin to relax. This brings a smile back to his face.

It makes me feel … stop, you’re being stupid. It’s fleeting.

That’s right. None of this is real. Eventually he’ll see me the way everyone else does.

“Why aren’t you repulsed by me?” I hear myself ask.

The question surprises him. He frowns.

I don’t like it.

“Elizabeth, you are not the sum of other people’s thoughts.”

He reaches out to grab my arm as I falter on the branch. His statement hits me like a ton of bricks. I ruminate over it in my mind. His big hands hold my arms securely as I process what he’s saying.

“They were just thoughts?” I whisper.

He nods his head. “They were just thoughts, Elizabeth.”

“They weren’t tangible.” I drop my head, staring at the ground.

He kisses the top of my head. “Someone may have broken you on the outside, but it was impossible for him to break your soul. Your soul is unbreakable.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I’ve seen it time and time again. There are people in my club who’ve suffered more than I can imagine, but they’re still here, kicking ass and taking names. You …” He pushes me back, forcing me to look at him. “You, you are still here, kicking ass. Now, let’s take some names. Mr. Baxter’s to be exact. I’m going to bring him to you.”

My heart begins to beat fast at his name, and I sway on the branch. I reach out, gripping tightly onto Jacob, wide-eyed.

My throat tightens at the very prospect of seeing him again. A sickness begins to rise up my throat. I begin shaking my head frantically. Nothing, not even the way people have treated me all these years, is worse than what he did to me. Things I will never, never speak of. I don’t even let them ferment in my mind. It’s the reason life has been so exhausting. Keeping it all locked away in a little compartment of my consciousness while at the same time allowing myself brief glimpses. Just enough to remember why I was risking everything to protect her at all costs.

Jacob doesn’t flinch, he continues to hold me strong.

“I don’t … you don’t understand,” I stutter.

“Listen very carefully, Elizabeth. I will only say this one time.” He waits for me to compose myself.

I take a deep breath and then slowly release it at his order.

“Much better. You are safe. Everything is okay. It’s good even.” His eyes hold mine hostage as he searches for my rational mind.

I give him a nod, afraid if I speak, I’ll cry.

He takes my cheeks in his hands. “I’m leaving today, and I’m coming back with him. I can do that one of two ways. I need you to choose. Don’t overthink this.”

He pauses, and I realize this is really happening. Jacob doesn’t need me to tell him anything about what happened. He doesn’t care. He’s willing to risk it all, without needing proof or an explanation. He’s not asking anything of me. Except whatever choice he’s about to give me.

I wonder if he feels my relief in that.

“Do you want him dead or alive?”

His eyebrow rises, letting me know there is no room for argument. He is going after the man who has controlled my entire adult life.

“He’s dangerous,” I say quietly, looking around nervously as if the universe might be reporting directly back to Mr. Baxter.

“Elizabeth,” he warns.

I bite my lip, trying my best to push down my fear. “I’m not arguing, but you can’t just waltz into his house. He will see you coming.”

His brow slowly lowers. “What do you mean?”

“There are things there that he doesn’t want anyone to see,” I whisper, looking away from him.

“He has cameras?”

“Um, he …” I laugh lightly, because this is going to sound crazy. The truth always does. “He has more than cameras. He has a sophisticated security system.”

Jacob senses there is more to the story. He pulls me close, hugging me against his chest. “It will be okay, baby.”

“Please, don’t go there,” I plead. “He’s sick. I don’t know what he’s capable of.”

“I’m not going to let you down, Elizabeth. I’m going to show you that you can trust me.”

A man walks under the tree. “The guys are ready to roll,” he yells up.

Jacob looks me dead in the eye as he lowers me to the man on the ground. “Time’s almost up. Dead or alive?”

I stare at him as his friend wraps his arm around my waist. When my feet hit the ground, I close my eyes. I’ll never be able to go on living, knowing he’s alive. One of us has to die. Before meeting Jacob, I thought that was me. It had to be me, because I would never have been brave enough to see him again on my own.

I’m terrified to trust another person, but god how I want to.

By the time Jacob joins me on solid ground, I’ve made my decision.

“Alive.”